[Hikaru no Go] Fic: A Whale of a Go Time
Title: A Whale of a Go Time
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Characters: Hikaru, Touya, a few others
Genre: gag gag gag me
Wordcount: 931
Summary: Hikaru decides it's time to do something useful with his life--like saving the whales.
A Whale of a Go Time
"Guys!" Shindou suddenly yelled. "Guys guys guys guys guys!"
"Shindou, pipe down," Touya hissed from across the goban. All over the room people were looking up in surprise from their oteai games and giving Shindou nasty looks. And not all of them were even guys, so Shindou wasn't being very equal opportunity here with his "guys" thing.
"Guys," Shindou said one last time, "let's stop and think about what you're doing with our lives. How can we sit around playing go when the earth is in such bad shape? Did you know that in the last fifty years, large predator fish populations have dropped ninety percent? And that this is totally messing up the food chain, and there are waaaay too many jellyfish now and that's messing up the oceans even more? And don't talk to me about algae blooms. And in another twenty years there might be practically no fish left? Can you believe that?"
Now everyone and his pet rival was staring at Touya's pet rival, and Touya was feeling more than mere embarrassment. "What brought this on?" he wondered aloud.
Shindou's eyes shimmered with painful wisdom. "I watched Discovery Channel on satellite last night."
Everyone groaned.
"Shindou," Touya said slowly, as if he was talking to a rabid animal, which he was, "I agree that the environment is very important, but don't you think there's a time and place to be talking about that?"
"But that's just it," said Shindou. "Why are we worrying so much about a board game when the oceans are dying?" He turned from Touya and found Waya, who was hunched over in that if-you-can't-see-me-you-can't-say-I'm-associated-with-Shindou-Hikaru way of his. The effect was ruined by Shindou pointing a finger at him and saying, "Waya, you love sushi, right? Especially tuna. You remember that bluefin tuna that sold for 155.4 million yen earlier this year at Tsukiji Market? Why did it sell for that much? It's because there are hardly any bluefin tuna left! I'm sorry, Waya, but I can't go for all-you-can eat anymore, I just can't."
"Uh, okay," Waya replied, hunching over further.
Touya was starting to get really annoyed now. Shindou hadn't paid attention to him for a whole minute. He clenched his teeth, politely. "Why don't we finish our game, and then we can talk about this after."
Shindou shook his head. "I'm not finishing our game. I'm quitting go."
There was a shocked silence, until someone (who sounded suspiciously like Ochi) said, "What, again?"
"Yes," Shindou affirmed firmly.
No one could quite believe it. Quit go? That was like...quitting life or something. Metaphorically. Touya himself was completely speechless. He proved this by saying, "I'm speechless." Which proved he wasn't speechless, paradoxically. More paradox followed. "Are you really going to quit go in order to, to save the whales?"
A few games down, Mashiba guffawed awkwardly in that if-you-can-hear-me-I-actually-matter way of his. "What kind of whales? Humpback? Sperm?" Then he gave a satisfied smirk because he'd gotten away with saying "hump" and "sperm" and no one could get kill him for it. Yet.
But Shindou didn't even look like he wanted to kill Mashiba, the way everyone else did. "What kind of whales?" he asked rhetorically. "Why, all of them, of course. And the sharks too. And the tuna and the turtles and the salmon, even the Atlantic salmon that are actually a species of trout, as I learned on Wikipedia. And the mackerel and the sardines and the rockfish species that can live to be a hundred years old, and the sunfish, catfish, clownfish, and the lamprey and the loach and the perch and the poor sturgeon whose babies we call caviar, all the poor frogs who are dying off from fungal infection, and most of all" - his eyes went dark and still and deep, an ocean full of dangerous secrets and gigantic squid monsters with long slimy tentacles, which Touya could not help but be drawn in by - "most of all," Shindou continued, when Touya had calmed down a little, "I want to save the bufo japonicus, the Japanese common toad, because Sai always hated them, and no animal should ever be hated, ever. Except jellyfish."
And then he stepped out of the room, out of the game, maybe forever.
"Wait, did he say 'Sai?'" asked Waya.
Touya, still stuck on the squid thing, was startled by this question into standing up, straight up (not that anything else was standing up thank you); and he realized the reason he was standing was because maybe, just maybe, he was getting infected by Shindou Hikaru's passion (again), and Touya was going to have to start chasing Shindou with all the force of a spurned lover (again), and maybe, just maybe, one day they would achieve the Hand of the Oceans together (not again), thereby saving all the whales (and fish, and sharks) so that they would be able to say, yes, my dear rival in all things, finally we have done this thing, and then maybe after that they could go out for all-you-can-eat-something-other-than-sushi and have an ice cream shake with a single straw and then sex afterwards without any deep abiding guilt getting in the way. Yes, doing that would be very worthwhile and fulfilling and - wait, where did that sex thing come from?
Well, that would certainly explain a lot.
Touya, newly enlightened, left behind the world of go forever and set off to chase (or perhaps stalk) his rival once more. And maybe while he was at it save the whales too.
o_0 The End 0_o
Author's notes:
I originally wrote this for
blind_go , but it was way under the word limit so I had to submit something else.
Truthfully, I really am terribly worried about our oceans. I had a hard time sleeping after watching a documentary on Discovery about the vast dead zones where all the fish have died and the jellyfish are moving in. I do a little light fishing once a year or so, and it saddens me to think that the breeds I'm used to catching--mainly perch and delicious, delicious rockfish--likely won't be around in the future. :(
This entry was originally posted at http://flonnebonne.dreamwidth.org/76480.html. Comment here or there - it's all good.
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Characters: Hikaru, Touya, a few others
Genre: gag gag gag me
Wordcount: 931
Summary: Hikaru decides it's time to do something useful with his life--like saving the whales.
A Whale of a Go Time
"Guys!" Shindou suddenly yelled. "Guys guys guys guys guys!"
"Shindou, pipe down," Touya hissed from across the goban. All over the room people were looking up in surprise from their oteai games and giving Shindou nasty looks. And not all of them were even guys, so Shindou wasn't being very equal opportunity here with his "guys" thing.
"Guys," Shindou said one last time, "let's stop and think about what you're doing with our lives. How can we sit around playing go when the earth is in such bad shape? Did you know that in the last fifty years, large predator fish populations have dropped ninety percent? And that this is totally messing up the food chain, and there are waaaay too many jellyfish now and that's messing up the oceans even more? And don't talk to me about algae blooms. And in another twenty years there might be practically no fish left? Can you believe that?"
Now everyone and his pet rival was staring at Touya's pet rival, and Touya was feeling more than mere embarrassment. "What brought this on?" he wondered aloud.
Shindou's eyes shimmered with painful wisdom. "I watched Discovery Channel on satellite last night."
Everyone groaned.
"Shindou," Touya said slowly, as if he was talking to a rabid animal, which he was, "I agree that the environment is very important, but don't you think there's a time and place to be talking about that?"
"But that's just it," said Shindou. "Why are we worrying so much about a board game when the oceans are dying?" He turned from Touya and found Waya, who was hunched over in that if-you-can't-see-me-you-can't-say-I'm-associated-with-Shindou-Hikaru way of his. The effect was ruined by Shindou pointing a finger at him and saying, "Waya, you love sushi, right? Especially tuna. You remember that bluefin tuna that sold for 155.4 million yen earlier this year at Tsukiji Market? Why did it sell for that much? It's because there are hardly any bluefin tuna left! I'm sorry, Waya, but I can't go for all-you-can eat anymore, I just can't."
"Uh, okay," Waya replied, hunching over further.
Touya was starting to get really annoyed now. Shindou hadn't paid attention to him for a whole minute. He clenched his teeth, politely. "Why don't we finish our game, and then we can talk about this after."
Shindou shook his head. "I'm not finishing our game. I'm quitting go."
There was a shocked silence, until someone (who sounded suspiciously like Ochi) said, "What, again?"
"Yes," Shindou affirmed firmly.
No one could quite believe it. Quit go? That was like...quitting life or something. Metaphorically. Touya himself was completely speechless. He proved this by saying, "I'm speechless." Which proved he wasn't speechless, paradoxically. More paradox followed. "Are you really going to quit go in order to, to save the whales?"
A few games down, Mashiba guffawed awkwardly in that if-you-can-hear-me-I-actually-matter way of his. "What kind of whales? Humpback? Sperm?" Then he gave a satisfied smirk because he'd gotten away with saying "hump" and "sperm" and no one could get kill him for it. Yet.
But Shindou didn't even look like he wanted to kill Mashiba, the way everyone else did. "What kind of whales?" he asked rhetorically. "Why, all of them, of course. And the sharks too. And the tuna and the turtles and the salmon, even the Atlantic salmon that are actually a species of trout, as I learned on Wikipedia. And the mackerel and the sardines and the rockfish species that can live to be a hundred years old, and the sunfish, catfish, clownfish, and the lamprey and the loach and the perch and the poor sturgeon whose babies we call caviar, all the poor frogs who are dying off from fungal infection, and most of all" - his eyes went dark and still and deep, an ocean full of dangerous secrets and gigantic squid monsters with long slimy tentacles, which Touya could not help but be drawn in by - "most of all," Shindou continued, when Touya had calmed down a little, "I want to save the bufo japonicus, the Japanese common toad, because Sai always hated them, and no animal should ever be hated, ever. Except jellyfish."
And then he stepped out of the room, out of the game, maybe forever.
"Wait, did he say 'Sai?'" asked Waya.
Touya, still stuck on the squid thing, was startled by this question into standing up, straight up (not that anything else was standing up thank you); and he realized the reason he was standing was because maybe, just maybe, he was getting infected by Shindou Hikaru's passion (again), and Touya was going to have to start chasing Shindou with all the force of a spurned lover (again), and maybe, just maybe, one day they would achieve the Hand of the Oceans together (not again), thereby saving all the whales (and fish, and sharks) so that they would be able to say, yes, my dear rival in all things, finally we have done this thing, and then maybe after that they could go out for all-you-can-eat-something-other-than-sushi and have an ice cream shake with a single straw and then sex afterwards without any deep abiding guilt getting in the way. Yes, doing that would be very worthwhile and fulfilling and - wait, where did that sex thing come from?
Well, that would certainly explain a lot.
Touya, newly enlightened, left behind the world of go forever and set off to chase (or perhaps stalk) his rival once more. And maybe while he was at it save the whales too.
o_0 The End 0_o
Author's notes:
I originally wrote this for
blind_go , but it was way under the word limit so I had to submit something else.
Truthfully, I really am terribly worried about our oceans. I had a hard time sleeping after watching a documentary on Discovery about the vast dead zones where all the fish have died and the jellyfish are moving in. I do a little light fishing once a year or so, and it saddens me to think that the breeds I'm used to catching--mainly perch and delicious, delicious rockfish--likely won't be around in the future. :(
This entry was originally posted at http://flonnebonne.dreamwidth.org/76480.html. Comment here or there - it's all good.