(no subject)
Well last night was eventful. Or not at all
Had a talk with someone. Or lack of talking actually.
Said goodbye to yet another best friend.
Went to Ians, and had a good time. Played UNO and watched Big fish and everyone cried haha. It was cute.
went home around whenever 3 i guess it was.
Got a lovely myspace message from a "friend"
apparntly, im a worthless cunt, im fake, im selfish, they want nothing for me but to see me hurt like the boy "i hurt".im a huge social slut. which i really have no idea where hes coming from there. but hey alright, anything to make me sound like a huge bitch right?
get the hell over it.
relationships dont always work out
and its not like this kid has even had a decent relationship with ONE girl.
I hate people who cant think for themselves. People who will hate you, because you hurt their friend, because GOD FORBID IF I DONT FEEL THE SAME WAY FOR SOMEONE. please. grow up. get over it. stay the hell out of my buisness.
im allowed to not like someone.
im allowed to make myself happy before anyone else
so screw you.
after that message i got, i was furious. I cant stand how people can be so STUPID. they call me their friends and yet, i get no calls, no invitations.
only words. thats it. and then i get stupid emails like that.
whatever.
I went for a walk last night around 4 or something. I dont know how long i was out there but my mom woke up and notices i was gone.
its so much harder to cry when the wind is drying your eyes.
i had to walk home after my mom called, and we sat in her room talking
and i could feel my legs tingling and it hurt so bad, it was just so cold.
you know what else i dislike.
when someone who calls you their best friend cant even stick up for you.
when their words are, "theres nothing i can do"
when its their friend sending me stupid shit emails
they cant do anythign about it?
i would NEVER let anyone treat MY bestfriend like that.
but i guess thats only me.
i guess thats where we differ.
i guess thats why were no longer friends.
im really just an angry girl right now.
i feel like i have lost everything
and everything im finding will surly fade away again anyway
im sick of having my hopes brought up
only to be let down
im sick of not having a shoulder to cry on
im sick of always being there for everyone
and no one has the time for me.
I want a best friend i can call at 4 in the morning upset instead of walking outside for so long that i almost get frostbite.
im so sick of putting in 150 percent to try and make people happy
when alls im doing is losing my own happiness
i just want a true friend.
is it so much to ask
i am so not happy right now.
but lets look on the brightside
at least im not suicidal!
never will i be
i know things will fall together sooner or later
i know things will get better
but i just want someone to be close to..now.
the end.
oh by the way.
i did something good today.
decided to screw myspace and delete my account.
bulletins arnt working
so after i post my last bulletin about how retarded myspace is
it will be gone.
the end...for real this time.