Comments | florentineeggs: all the things you forget

florentineeggs

all the things you forget - 1/1

Mar 12, 2009 00:57

all the things you forget. (yunho/ofc & yunho/jaejoong)
745 words. angst. G
◦ originally posted here.

we'll never have paris. but the way it slipped passed your open-clasped fingers, that was all your fault.

( you are the best liar in the world )

pairing: yunho/jaejoong, writing, fandom: dbsk, writing: prompted

Comments 15

rain_streaked April 29 2009, 09:02:35 UTC

oh shit. D: i'm supposed to be packing but i'm in front of the computer being a blubbering mess. D':

i love this. insanely. i don't know if the transitions between second and third person were intentional, but i loved the feel it gives to the fic - it adds to the desperation of the moment and really makes it seem like yunho's trying to deceive himself, distance himself from reality just as he tries to distance himself from jaejoong. it's out-of-control, like yunho himself.

oh man. the entire exchange at the end between yunho and his wife, ending with i won't, you say. and the whole world has no other choice but to believe you., killed me. oh man. poor yunho. poor wife! D: poor jaejoong. aldkfalsdkf ♥

florentineeggs April 29 2009, 09:15:26 UTC

dkjfaldjfd y-you're not actually crying, are you? sobs i need to stop doing this to people.

kind-of-not-really intentional. when i get personal with writing characters i tend to switch third to second pov a lot. 8| thank you for the surprisingly in depth analysis though ;_; ♥ ♥

klfajdskfd sobbing thank you why are you so adorable thank you very much ♥!

agnetalovek April 29 2009, 13:59:25 UTC

wow really angst. I really felt sufforcating and want to know who THE person is!

florentineeggs April 29 2009, 17:20:24 UTC

THE person? as in the wife or the one yunho refuses to acknowledge? because the former i don't know either, and the latter is jaejoong (:

thanks for reading!

ouimonsieur April 29 2009, 21:54:59 UTC

oh flobb. :( this is the first thing i've read in fandom in ages, and --- oh. :'''(((

florentineeggs April 30 2009, 01:01:40 UTC

........... i'm so sorry i'll learn how not to write such crippling angst someday sobs forever.

i miss you some more :'|

graveyardgrin June 2 2009, 04:31:25 UTC

...THE POOR WIFE. I want to hug and squish her into a billion pieces :((( and yunho deserves a knock on the head for being an idiot :(((((((

florentineeggs June 2 2009, 05:37:48 UTC

yunho is stupid and wifey is thankful :'S but not as thankful as meeee ♥

locofruitcake April 15 2010, 11:22:37 UTC

I'm reading this on my mobile, do you see what you've reduced me into?! :(((♥

this is lovely, of course it is. it's so heartbreaking, yet beautiful in the way you write it. no full blown angst! in your words but the feelings get across anyway, doubly impactful.

i love the way jaejoong doesn't even say anything but his voice rings through anyway; love how he makes his presence known through the others' voices. oh oh, cries. this is gorgeous :(

yunho is so wonderfully stubborn, jaejoong is the unacknowledged center of his universe and omfg, how generous of his wife. it's like waiting for a ticking timebomb to explode ♥;;

florentineeggs April 18 2010, 10:01:38 UTC

dklasjdkfkldasjfakl /FLATTERED WOW you didn't have to do that omg ; ; ♥

thank youuu ♥ sideways angst hurts more that straight on angst, i think ;)

jaejoong is the unacknowledged center of his universe

whoaaa this is kind of a really gorgeous line ♥ i can't believe you were able to come up with something like that from this aklsdjfawe i'm ridiculously happy that you enjoyed my fics so much :') ♥♥ thank youuuuu!!