Winter Break Story #1
The Car Episode
So there I was, gaily driving from work to Newberg, where Jessica Winn, affectionately known as Waffles, was having her 2nd Annual Holiday Bash! I had not printed out exact directions, for I was sure I remembered how to get there. So I made it out to the country highway to her house, which is not lit at all, and turned on my brights. I saw a sign on the side of the road which had a Christmas wreath on it and said "Christmas Bash 3.5 Miles Ahead" so I took a left at the sign, expecting to go 3.5 miles and then hit Jessica's turn-off. Well, little more than .75 mile down the road, I find myself at the top of a large hill in the driveway of a house, which is obviously not Jessica's. So I realized I must be in the wrong place. But then I saw a narrow dirt road continuing from the property, and thought maybe that's the road I should be on, thinking it would not be unlikely for the road to narrow and become more "rustic" out in Newberg. I pulled a few feet onto the road, turn on my brights, and decide this really isn't the right road after all. So I put the car in reverse and attempt to back up. The car didn't move. I checked the parking break, it was down; the car was in drive. I tried again. It moved a little bit, but only seemed to slide a little toward a large tree. By this time, I was pretty sure I was stuck. I thought maybe I had lodged on a rock or a log or something. To make things worse, two enormous dogs had come out of the nearby house and were barking maniacally at me and my car. The house had no lights on, though I could see movement inside. I didn't dare go outside with those dogs there anyway. So I called my house to see if they could tell me what to do. All they did was have me describe to them my approximate location then call Jessica, who sent her Dad out on a rescue mission.
While he was trying to find me, I had a genius idea. I thought well, I can't reverse, but I saw an area down the dirt road on the other side of the hill that looked like a little turnaround, and I knew the car was 4 wheel drive and figured I could get back up the hill easily enough, and that might solve the problem. I thought I'd be able to roll off of whatever I was stuck on. So I drove on down the hill, but it didn't feel like all my wheels were touching the ground. I assumed that whatever I was stuck on hadn't dislodged. I couldn't steer at all, and was worried I was doomed for life now that I was down this hill, out of view of the house and all sign of civilization. At this point, I opened the car door. And it was at this tragic moment I realized that there was nothing lodged underneath the car, but I was in fact, stuck at the bottom of a large hill of very thick and gooey mud. Fresh, wet, sloppy, slushy, no-traction-whatsoever mud. I was doomed.
Jessica's dad found me about half an hour later (their house is 5 minutes away) because he couldn't fathom how I got into such a place. He tried to drive the car up the hill, and made it a few feet farther than I had, but with no crucial success. At this point the owner of the house came out and tamed her dogs (an hour and a half after they had started barking). She told me it was good I hadn't driven any further because about 15 feet after the place I had stopped was Chehaylen River. And the mud I was stuck in was the overflow bed for the river, and it had flooded just that day, hence the fresh mud. Also, the dogs apparently talk big but are completely harmless. My dad and sister, who had been planning an Indiana Jones- style rescue mission then arrived and assessed the situation. There was really only one conclusion to make-- we had to abandon our car until a tow truck could get it out. And so we did. We left it in a mud pit in the middle of nowhere Newberg in a riverbed.
I felt so horrible. I had been scared out of my mind, bewildered, nerve-wracked, guilty, burdensome, like a failure... basically everything bad you could feel at one time.
The next day Caitlin and Mom did retrieve the car after 8 hours of negotiating with a grumpy tow truck driver.
And now, of course, it's a funny story.
This will be that Christmas that will forever be remembered as "Hey remember that Christmas when..."