Over And Over Again [2/2]
Title: Over And Over Again [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: NamJin
Warning: BoyxBoy Love. Enough said.
Summary: Namjoon knew that Seokjin was the one from the first glance.
[1]
A couple of weeks had passed since then, and day by day, they were getting closer.
Texting was becoming a usual habit between them.
After waking up in the morning, between lunch break, even before going to bed.
They never met or went home together unless it was Friday. Namjoon of course wouldn’t mind if Seokjin went home with him every day, but he didn’t know how to say it to Seokjin without sounding like asking him out. So for now, every Friday was enough (although sometimes it felt like a date too, going out every Friday).
That day, Namjoon was done first so he went to Seokjin’s cubicle instead.
“Hey you.”
Seokjin looked up. He seemed surprised that he was the one who got visited instead of the other way around, but lack the strength to react properly. “Namjoon…”
Namjoon frowned. Something was definitely wrong. "Are you alright?"
Seokjin brought a hand to cover his mouth. His skin was even paler than usual. "I guess..."
"What did you eat for lunch today?"
"It’s nothing spicy…also nothing weird..." Seokjin pursed his lips. “But it could be the kimchi…maybe I shouldn’t have eaten so many…maybe they were already bad…”
"Do you want to throw up?"
"I don't think so...not now, anyway…"
"Can you hold it in, then? I promise to drive as quickly as I can."
"I’m not sure, Namjoon…but I’ve been thinking about it… What if I suddenly throw up in your car? Maybe I should just take the taxi tonight…"
The thought of going home without Seokjin pained Namjoon. "No!” He grabbed Seokjin’s arm without thinking. “No, please. It's alright. I’ll take you home."
"Are you sure?" Seokjin didn’t seem to mind Namjoon’s hand on him, but it could be because he was too weak to do anything. “It’s really alright… I don’t want to bother you…”
"One hundred percent sure. Come on, let’s get you home quickly."
“Alright…”
***
Namjoon kept glancing at Seokjin in the car, worried and somehow scared.
Was gastritis supposed to be this bad? He was certain that Seokjin would've done anything to not upset his stomach, but sometimes it probably couldn't be helped.
At times like this, he wished there was something he could do to make the other male's pain go away.
He wanted to ask if he was okay, but worried of the answer that Seokjin would (always) say he was okay while he was actually not. He was also scared Seokjin would feel annoyed by the question.
Seokjin suddenly made a vomit sound, and Namjoon turned to him so fast, his neck almost crack. The former chuckled weakly. "I'm sorry... If I really throw up, I would pay for the cleanup, I promise."
"That's not what I’m thinking right now," Namjoon frowned. "I really wish there's something I can do to make you feel better." He could feel Seokjin's eyes on him, but fought the temptation to stare back. "But I don't know how."
"You're funny," Seokjin said after making another vomit sound. "Normally no one would stay after hearing this."
"Well I'm not normal then."
"That's not what I mean…"
"And the next thing you say is that normally no one would want to kiss you after this."
Namjoon bit his lower lip nervously.
"Because I would."
Seokjin made another vomit sound-which Namjoon dismissed because no, that was probably not the real reaction to his words. But it made them say nothing more for the rest of the way.
Thankfully it wasn't much farther to Seokjin's apartment.
When Seokjin couldn’t hold it anymore, Namjoon pulled over at the speed of light. The pretty male quickly got out of the car and managed to vomit on the nearest trash can. Namjoon followed closely as he rubbed the other male's back soothingly and felt painful at the sight.
How long has it been...?
Doesn't anyone else ever help you...?
Have you been all alone enduring this...?
Namjoon sighed quietly. He waited until Seokjin was finally done, his hand was still on the pretty male's back. Seokjin's shoulders were still trembling when he turned to Namjoon.
"I'm sorry you had to see this," Seokjin whispered. His eyes were red from vomiting.
"Don't be. Are you alright?"
"I will be..." Seokjin managed to find a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his mouth. "Thank you for the ride... I’m sorry we couldn’t get dinner. Be careful on your way home…"
Namjoon pressed his lips into a thin line as he made up his mind.
"No. I'm staying with you."
"What?"
"I'm staying," Namjoon repeated.
"Please, Namjoon," Seokjin's tone sounded like he was begging. "I just need to rest… I’m fine, I will be fine on my own, I promise. I will text you..."
"No," Namjoon adamantly said, shaking his head. "You don't look like you're fine. Stop saying you are."
"This happens almost every day-"
"But I wasn't there!" Namjoon let out a frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. The blond-haired male extended a hand to Seokjin before standing up. "I wasn’t there with you when ‘this’ happens almost every day. At least...at least let me make sure you're okay. Let me take you up to your apartment."
Seokjin merely stared at the proffered hand. He looked so tired.
"Please…please, Seokjin."
Seokjin dropped his gaze to his lap before nodding and took Namjoon's hand.
The trip upstairs felt like forever. Their hands kept intertwining the whole time, and Namjoon felt like his heart was about to leap out of his throat. He didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to let go. It was only when Seokjin had to unlock the front door that they both let go, and Namjoon would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed.
"Uh…" Seokjin trailed off as he opened the door.
"Is it okay if you drink water?"
"No…water just makes it worse..."
"Warm water? Hot tea?"
"I just need to rest..." Seokjin looked exhausted, his face was even paler than before. "Usually I'll be fine in the morning..."
"I see. Go to sleep, then."
“What about you…?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be here.”
Seokjin gave Namjoon one last glance before smiling. It was feeble, but it was sincere. "Thank you so much, Namjoon… I'm also sorry…"
With that, the pretty male stepped into his bedroom and a moment later, Namjoon heard a soft thud. The door was ajar, so he took the chance to see if Seokjin landed safely on the bed. He did. It seemed like Seokjin fell asleep right away.
A few minutes had passed, and it was when Namjoon realized he was still staring like a creep. The male facepalmed.
What am I doing?
He was supposed to go home. He just meant to take Seokjin to the front door and leave.
I should go home.
Namjoon bit his finger momentarily before making himself comfortable on the couch.
No.
He was staying.
***
Namjoon woke up a little too early than usual.
His back hurt from sleeping on the couch, also he didn't sleep very soundly because a few times he jerked awake just to check on Seokjin.
Namjoon yawned as he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was a little after five AM.
Might as well make some tea…
Namjoon must’ve been a little bit loud in the kitchen that it managed to wake Seokjin up.
"…Namjoon?"
"Ah, good morning. Sorry, was I being too loud? I was looking for sugar..." Namjoon paused to get a good look at Seokjin. "How are you feeling this morning?"
Seokjin ignored the question and looked at him in disbelief. "You…you really didn't go home…?"
"Nope."
"But why…?"
Namjoon took a deep breath. It wasn't exactly the kind of conversation he wanted to have in the early morning. But Namjoon made up his mind, he wasn't going to hide anything anymore. He was going to be honest with Seokjin from now on.
"I want to make sure you're okay."
"Why…?"
"Because I care about you, Seokjin."
There.
He said it.
It wasn't exactly I love you, but it was enough. It was close enough to a confession. Namjoon truly cared about Seokjin, and it was the truth.
Seokjin’s eyes widened as he took a step back. "I..."
Namjoon held his breath. Okay, he wasn't thinking straight before. He was ready with conveying his feelings to Seokjin, but he wasn't ready with Seokjin's reaction.
What if he said no?
Kim Namjoon you idiot!
At least pick up a place where you can easily leave after getting rejected!
"I don't want to be a burden to you…"
Namjoon opened his mouth to reply, but it soon turned into a frown. He wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. "What-"
"Please hear me out first," Seokjin quickly said. He looked like he was having trouble with what he was about to say. "All of this started when I was in college. My parents...died, in an accident, right after they visited me. It was winter break, but due to the paper I was working on, I couldn't go home. They came to visit me instead..."
Seokjin's eyes were teary.
Namjoon resisted the urge to hug him and wipe his tears.
"So when they died, I felt like it was all my fault. If only I came home... If only I booked them the nearest hotel... If only I didn't tell them it would mean a lot to me if they were there with me… And their deaths affected me so much that I almost wasn't able to move on.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't finish my study... At first some of my friends stayed, but probably since I was in a black hole of depression, they all left, one by one. Even when I started making friends again, they all said they would help me with my illness. But when I couldn't eat certain kinds of food, or drink alcohol, it kinda makes me the boring guy, you know?"
Seokjin seemed emotional as he played with the end of his shirt.
Namjoon blinked. "So…?"
"So that's why I... I chose to be alone."
“Is that it?”
Seokjin looked confused. “What…?”
Namjoon shook his head in visible anger. "I'm sorry, but it makes me really angry to know that your friends aren't the real friends. And I'm sorry you haven't met your true friends yet.
"When Yoongi got into an accident and he broke his shoulder, none of us left him. When Jimin got so drunk and vomited on the street, none of us left him. When I needed to ace my English test that I needed help studying, none of my friends left me. See, Seokjin, that's what true friends are. No one leaves the other when they're in need."
Namjoon paused to take a breath.
"And when I said, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, I mean it. And that I'm not normal, because I still want to be there beside you when you vomit, when you feel pain, when you’re not at your best. And about the kiss-what I meant was, I like you. I like you a lot and I still would kiss you even after you vomited.
"I like you so much, Seokjin, and that I want to be by your side and go through this together."
Seokjin blankly stared at Namjoon, who took a minute to compose himself after saying that many sentences. He bit his lower lip, not knowing what to respond. "Really…?"
Namjoon nodded, relieved that he had said it all. "Really."
"You really mean that…?"
"Yes. I promise you, you will see that I'm different. You just gotta give me a chance."
"I… I like you a lot, too…"
“Yeah, I-” Namjoon held his breath. Did he hear that right? "R-really?"
Seokjin blinked his tears away and laughed as he nodded. "Really..."
Without thinking, Namjoon took a few steps forward to Seokjin.
"W-wait, I still reek of vomit-"
Namjoon closed his eyes as he pulled the Seokjin into a kiss.
“I don’t care.”
***
They were finally official.
Slowly, but surely, Seokjin was starting to open up to Namjoon. He also seemed a bit more cheerful than he was before, and Namjoon was glad about it.
Their relationship wasn't a secret, but Namjoon didn't want Seokjin to feel burden or anything, so they decided on being discreet. They rarely had lunch together, but since they went home together (it was every day now), dinner mostly happened.
Namjoon was happy. Seokjin was starting to smile a lot, and it made him even happier.
Seokjin rarely vomited anymore, and they still laughed over the fact that Namjoon was alright with kissing him with his morning breath and the traces of his vomit… But even then, Namjoon didn’t feel disgusted at all. Fortunately, Seokjin managed to stop Namjoon before their lips met for the first time and cleaned up first.
And then their lips met in the sweetest kiss.
It was around a month later when they had dinner on another Friday night and stumbled upon one of their colleagues.
“Yo, Kim Namjoon!”
Namjoon broke into a grin when he realized who it was. “Jackson. How are you?”
“I’m good, how about you? Wait, I didn’t think I saw Hoseok and the others.”
“Yeah, because I’m not with them.”
“That makes sense. The restaurant is way too quiet.”
Namjoon pretended to be offended. “Hey, we’re a lovely loud crowd! I’ll be sure to pass what you said to Hoseok.”
“Pass it on!” Jackson playfully hit Namjoon and they broke into laughter. “Are you here by yourself or…?”
“Nah, I’m with my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend,” Jackson repeated dumbly. “Kim Seokjin?”
“Wow,” Namjoon blinked. “How do you guess?”
“Because… I just saw Seokjin sat by himself in a crowded restaurant. That’s just unusual to see.”
“Ah, I forgot that you know him too.”
“Dude, everyone knows Seokjin from HR. He’s so pretty.”
Namjoon was torn apart between wanting to smile proudly or be threatened by what Jackson just said.
“It’s too bad that he doesn’t socialize much. Now that I think about it, he’s been in a brighter mood nowadays. I guess that must be because of you, huh?”
“He is…?”
“He is, trust me.”
“I’m glad, then.”
“Anyway, gotta use the restroom. Say hi to the boys for me.”
“I will. See you later, Jackson.”
Namjoon then went to the pay the bills before going back to his table. He saw that Jackson was with Mark and several others from IT Department, it looked like one of them was having a birthday. Namjoon poked Seokjin’s nose playfully.
“Hey. Ready to go home?”
***
“Something on your mind?”
Seokjin snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head at Namjoon. “No.”
“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet since the restaurant.”
“What do you mean? I’m always like this.”
They stopped at a red light, and Namjoon took the opportunity to snatch Seokjin’s hand.
“Not since you start dating me. Is something wrong?”
“No…”
“Seokjin,” Namjoon called out and he got a blank stare in response. “I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to know everything.”
“But it’s really nothing. I’m just full.”
“You barely ate at the restaurant.”
“I’m…sleepy?”
Namjoon narrowed his eyes in dislike and Seokjin finally gave in.
“I’m pretty sure I just misheard it. Also, I thought I’m used to it so it shouldn’t be a problem…”
“Hey, your boyfriend doesn’t understand a word you’re saying,” Namjoon snapped his fingers and pointed shamelessly at himself. “Explanation, please.”
If he wasn’t feeling so down, Seokjin would’ve laugh at his boyfriend’s attitude. The black-haired male sighed inaudibly. “It was the girls on Jackson’s table...”
“What of them?”
Seokjin shook his head. “They said it was such a pity that you were…with me.” He clearly felt the anger that was coming from Namjoon that he quickly continued, “But I don’t mind. I mean, everyone finds me boring because I'm such a picky eater and I don't drink… I'm kinda used to that anyway."
Namjoon groaned. "Why didn't you tell me back at the restaurant?"
"I don't think I should... Besides, I don't want to cause a scene..."
"But I could've done something-"
"Which would cause a scene. Seriously, it's nothing to be worried about. I just need you to care about me."
"I do care about you. But…”
“Then I’ll be fine. I promise.”
Seokjin gave Namjoon a comforting smile, but Namjoon didn’t feel comforted at all.
He never ever wanted Seokjin to feel sad, but he decided to just let it slide this time.
***
Ever since that night, Seokjin refused to eat outside.
He would say that he was tired, or that he wasn’t in the mood for dine-in, but Namjoon knew the real reason behind it. He didn’t understand why Seokjin had to feel insecure, no matter what happened, Namjoon was already head over heels for him. Namjoon had chosen Seokjin, and nothing was going to make him change his mind.
Perhaps it was because Seokjin had been alone for a long time, with no one to support or comfort him whenever he felt down.
But it had been going for a few weeks that Namjoon thought it was time to stop.
That day, Namjoon made a surprise visit. He told Siri to call his boyfriend (“Kim Seokjin my love”) and waited for the call to connect. Two seconds later, Seokjin picked up.
“Hey...”
“Hey babe, I’m here outside your apartment. Come on, let’s go out.”
“Why so sudden? Can’t we just order take-out instead…?”
“No, not tonight. Come on. I’m waiting for you in the car. Don’t let me wait too long, alright?”
Namjoon could tell that Seokjin hesitated at the other line.
“It’ll be alright. Come on, trust me on this, okay?”
“Fine… Wait for me, then.”
Fifteen minutes later, a very pretty Seokjin got into the car. Namjoon’s heart swelled with pride as he stared at his boyfriend. He must’ve been staring too long that it was starting to make Seokjin uncomfortable.
“What…?”
“You’re so pretty. Now I’m afraid what people will think about me beside you.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes and smiled in amusement. “You just say that to make me feel better.”
“I’m not. You are pretty.”
Namjoon leaned in for a kiss, which Seokjin happily obliged. He broke their kiss with a smile, and managed to steal another kiss before really pulling away.
“Fasten your seatbelt, we’re already late.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Half an hour later, they arrived at a Korean restaurant.
Seokjin nervously looked around because the place was quite crowded. What if they stumbled upon their colleagues again, what would they say this time…? Would he be able to handle it…?
“Can’t we just take away…?”
Namjoon answered by holding his hand. Seokjin felt his boyfriend squeezing his hand, as if to say it was alright, that he shouldn’t be afraid. He gave up upon seeing Namjoon’s encouraging smile. Seokjin was about to say something when he heard voices around him.
“You guys are finally here!” Taehyung clapped his hands in excitement as he saw Seokjin. “Wow, you really are pretty!”
“You are! Damn you Namjoon-hyung!” Jungkook scowled as he pointed at Namjoon. “I’m envious!”
“You are pretty in your picture, but you’re even prettier in person!” Yoongi complimented. “Why are you even with our beloved Namjoon-hyung?”
“Hey hey, whatever happens to proper manner? Greet him first!” Namjoon scolded. “What if he runs away after meeting you guys?”
“Hello, I’m Park Jimin, and I wouldn’t mind having you as my mommy,” Jimin said as he pushed Namjoon aside (“Hey!) and hugged Seokjin. “Please be my mommy forever.”
“M-mommy?”
“Well, Namjoon-hyung acts like a brother and a father to me, so I guess that makes you my mother?”
“Ah…” Seokjin was starting to understand. He turned to Namjoon with a bright smile. “These are your boys…?”
“Only one left out,” Namjoon motioned Hoseok who had just joined the crowd. “This is Hoseok.”
“Hi, nice to meet you,” Hoseok grinned as he waved his hand. “I hope you don’t get a heart attack after meeting us. We are a very loud crowd.”
“Have you ordered, Hoseok-Hyung? I’m starving!”
“Yeah, all spicy except two originals for Namjoon and Seokjin-hyung.”
“You can’t eat spicy food?” Jimin looked at Seokjin with his puppy eyes. “That’s too bad.”
“I also can’t drink alcohol, but it’s alright,” Seokjin gazed lovingly at Jimin like he was his own son.
Namjoon exchanged a glance with Hoseok. It amazed them that it only took Seokjin a few minutes to play his role as a mother. Damn Jimin and his charm.
“Hey, who has the cake? Come on, let’s sing happy birthday before the food arrives! Seokjin-hyung, come sit over here!” Taehyung patted the empty seat beside him. “Let’s sing together!”
“I’m sorry, but he’s still my boyfriend, so he sits with me,” Namjoon snatched Seokjin from Jimin’s territory and playfully stuck his tongue out.
Seokjin noticed the jacket that Jungkook was wearing and suddenly realized what the occasion was. “Namjoon, why didn’t you tell me that it’s Jungkook’s birthday?”
“It’s Jungkook’s birthday.”
Seokjin gave him a look. “I could’ve brought something for him…”
“Sorry,” Namjoon patted the pretty male’s head apologetically. “This dinner was last minute decision. Also, I was afraid you wouldn’t come…you know, since you’re a bit skeptical about meeting other people…”
“But they aren’t other people. They’re…your boys.”
Namjoon broke into a wide smile upon hearing it. “Yeah…they’re my boys. Seokjin baby, meet my boys.”
“You made it sound like we’re your children or something,” Hoseok piped up. “What if he refuses your marriage proposal because you come with a set of five kids? Don’t come to me crying.”
The group leader choked on nothing at Hoseok’s words. Fortunately, Yoongi showed up with a birthday cake and started singing with Taehyung. Their singing was actually very good that it seemed to impress the other customers and they started singing as well.
Hoseok and Jimin joined the fun like they were on stage, with Jungkook clapping his hands excitedly.
“Sometimes I don’t know whether to feel proud or feel embarrassed,” Namjoon facepalmed. “But yeah, they’re my boys and I love them.”
Seokjin laughed. “You guys are a loud crowd indeed…but don’t worry, I love your boys already…”
Namjoon smiled. “You do?”
“Yeah…”
It occurred to Namjoon to blurt out how about being their mother forever? but then shook his head.
It can wait.
***
Everything was going so well for the next few months.
Slowly, but surely, Seokjin became part of the group. He didn’t even protest when Jimin treated him like a mother, in fact, he seemed to enjoy Jimin’s treatment. Sometimes Namjoon caught the two of them hugging like a mother and a child, but of course he didn’t feel threatened.
The others were just as accepting, and no one made fun of Seokjin’s illness.
Seokjin was starting to laugh a lot, and Namjoon was grateful for it. Their relationship was starting to be full of jokes and goofiness, and Namjoon loved it. It was much better than Seokjin being sad, alone, and kept everything bottled inside. With him being happier, his gastritis rarely acted up, since Seokjin had Namjoon and the others looking out for him.
Their 200th day anniversary was coming up soon, and Namjoon couldn’t think of anything else but to buy a ring.
Hoseok was the only person he told about it. It wasn’t that the others weren’t reliable, but Namjoon considered Jimin and the others his little brothers, and big brothers didn’t share their love stories to their little brothers, so… (Hoseok rolled his eyes at this statement). That also meant, Hoseok was the only person Namjoon found reliable for love advice.
Even though Hoseok was single.
“I’m not proposing,” Namjoon said. “Just…wanting to make him mine.”
“That is the meaning of proposing,” Hoseok rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. “And even if you want to propose, I don’t see why not. You’re mature enough and you’re in love, and it’s normal for you to want to…how should I put this…touch him.”
Namjoon choked. “We-we touch all the time.”
“Yeah. If by touching you mean holding hands…but you know that’s not what I mean. I know you and we’ve been friends for a long time, I know you wouldn’t do anything without Seokjin’s consent. Which I believe…hasn’t been given yet.”
“We-we already kissed.”
“Yeah well…it never gets past that, does it?”
Namjoon facepalmed. “Why do you know me so well?”
Hoseok snickered. “We never talk about it, but I think you’re the kind of person who wants to do ‘it’ after marriage. I’m rooting for you all the way, if that’s what you want. And I think why the consent hasn’t been given yet, is because you haven’t asked for it.”
“I just think that’s because…he’s so precious. And I just…once we’ve done it, I would never want him to do it with anyone else ever again.” Namjoon groaned. “It’s a selfish thought, but it’s acceptable, right? I’m the person who’s going to be his husband!”
“In a right way, though. So…” Hoseok shrugged. “Are we really going to buy wedding rings? Or do you need to think about it some more?”
Namjoon pressed his lips into a thin line. “No. Let’s buy them now.”
“I believe you know Seokjin’s size, then?”
Namjoon’s expression was enough for Hoseok to roll his eyes again.
“Let’s just take a look first then…”
***
Even after their 200th day anniversary, Namjoon hadn’t given Seokjin the ring.
Simply because he wasn’t certain if it was the right time, or if he was rushing.
What if Seokjin said it was all too fast…?
With that in mind, Namjoon decided not to pop the question yet.
Just a few weeks after that, Namjoon got promoted as a Division Manager in the sub-branch.
Everything was happening too fast. Not that he was unhappy with his career, but Namjoon was kind of hoping he could take one step at a time. He was just thinking of proposing for real to Seokjin when his boss broke the news to him. Namjoon had heard about the rumors, but he thought it was just rumors…nothing to be taken seriously. But when his boss delivered the news to him and that he should be in the new branch the next week, he became super busy. He didn’t even get to have his promotion party-not that he minded, though.
The sub-branch wasn’t that far from his apartment, but it would take some time from his new office if he wanted to pick up Seokjin every day…
Would Seokjin think it would be a bother?
Would he still like it if Namjoon picked him up?
Or should they just meet on the weekends?
Namjoon weighed the box on his palm.
It had been a busy week…the amount of them texting had decreased, and it somehow worried Namjoon. He spent last weekend finishing his pending work at the office, so he didn’t get to spend some time with Seokjin. And the next Monday, his new job immediately consumed eighty percent of his time. It turned out being a Division Manager meant more meetings, more gatherings…he would need to persuade clients, perhaps more dinner with clients… He would probably come home later than usual…
Was Seokjin okay about it…?
Namjoon wondered if he should’ve asked Seokjin first about the whole promotion thing. But he had a feeling even if he asked, the pretty male would only smile and that he’d support him no matter what.
Should I ask him to move in with me…?
That way, even when they were both busy, they could still hug each other at the end of the day, and wake up to each other’s presence.
That’s it. Yes. I’m going to do it.
Namjoon grabbed his phone with such determination, but before he was able to do anything, a call came in.
It was from Jimin.
“Hey, Jimin.”
“Hyung!”
Namjoon immediately straightened in his seat. “Jimin, what’s wrong?”
“It’s Seokjin-hyung! Please…you have to come here! We’re at the hospital…”
It took Namjoon seconds to memorize the address of the hospital before rushing as fast as he could. Throughout the way to the hospital, it was a miracle that he managed to get there in one piece-if he didn’t do his best to stay calm, he would’ve crashed his car into something.
Hoseok was already there with a very crying Jimin beside him.
“What happened?” Namjoon still did his best to stay calm, but his voice showed otherwise. “What happened, Jimin?”
“They’re currently pumping out the content of his stomach,” Hoseok said quietly. “He kept on vomiting and they had to pump it out.”
“His stomach? What the heck did he eat?”
“I swear, Hyung,” Jimin said between tears. “I swear I didn’t know he was going to try the wine…he said he would buy it but just to celebrate your promotion. He said it’s no celebration without wine… I’m so sorry, Hyung…”
Namjoon shut his eyes, suddenly having a terrible headache.
Shit. You and your fucking promotion, Namjoon.
“It’s not your fault,” Namjoon sighed as he patted Jimin’s head. “It must’ve been harder for you to witness it. Just…how many did he drink…?”
“I…I’m not sure…a glass or two…?”
Shit.
“He was vomiting so much… I was so scared…”
Namjoon covered his face with his hands and leaned against the wall. His feelings were a mess. Namjoon recalled the first time he took the black-haired male home. Just a small amount of spicy food sent Seokjin kneeling on the toilet floor for minutes, certainly alcohol would’ve made much more damage than that.
“You okay?” Hoseok asked. “You have to be okay.”
Namjoon breathed loudly.
“Get yourself together. He’ll need you when he wakes up.”
The leader took a deep breath before opening his eyes. He turned to Hoseok with a nod. “You’re right.”
“Don’t be angry at him.”
“I’m angry at myself,” Namjoon said, his tone rising slightly. “I didn’t know it would affect him this much.”
“He’s trying for you.”
“But he doesn’t have to.”
“Well,” Hoseok landed a soft punch on Namjoon’s arm. “That’s why you guys should talk about it.”
Namjoon opened his mouth, but closed it back when he saw Yoongi and the others arrived at the hospital. His lips twitched into a small smile when Jungkook and Taehyung danced in order to cheer Jimin up, and ended up got scolded by the nurse.
***
When Seokjin was awake, the boys had already left to have dinner.
There were so many things that Namjoon wanted to say to Seokjin, but the minute his boyfriend opened his eyes, it all went to heaven-knew-where and Namjoon could only pull him into a tight embrace.
“Hey…” Seokjin said weakly.
“Do you want to drink?”
“Yes please…”
Namjoon gave a glass of water to Seokjin, which the latter gulped down in seconds. “Do you want more?”
“No, it’s enough…” Seokjin glanced around the room. “Are you alone? Are the boys here?”
“Yeah. They were, but Hoseok took them out to dinner… They’ll be back soon.”
“They will…?”
“Yeah. How are you feeling? I’ll get you something to eat.”
“How’s Jimin…?”
There was a pause. “He couldn’t stop crying.”
“I…I feel bad for Jimin…”
“Then why did you do it?”
Seokjin looked surprised at first, but then his expression turned into guilt. “I just…”
“It could’ve killed you,” Namjoon’s voice cracked. “What if it killed you? What about me? Did you want to leave me?”
“I’m sorry,” Seokjin whispered, his eyes were teary. “I’m sorry.”
“You knew what it could’ve done to you, Seokjin. It was dangerous for you.”
“A-a colleague said I might have to adapt to your new lifestyle since you’re a manager now. She said, I might be an embarrassment for you if I keep on avoiding alcohol and be a picky eater… I don’t want that. I don’t want to embarrass you… I just want to try…maybe, just maybe…alcohol is alright…”
“Goddammit, Jin, why do you have to listen to anyone else?” Namjoon almost pulled his hair out in frustration. “They don’t know about your condition. Or even if they do, they don’t care. This is about your health, baby. Who cares about what others think? I’m not ashamed of you, and you should stop thinking that way.”
“But what if you become a CEO one day? Would you mind if I’m not there beside you when there are parties and gatherings? Would it be alright if I prefer to just stay home, to avoid all the questions that will be asked…?”
“I don’t mind, and it’s alright. But I would prefer it if you’re there beside me, and when they do ask the questions, I’ll answer that we don’t drink. I don’t drink because I’m driving, and you don’t drink because it’s good for your health.”
Seokjin broke into a sheepish smile. “You just want to make me feel better. You know you have your own driver when you’re a CEO.”
“But I’m not a CEO yet, I’m just a lowly manager and you’re my wife.”
“Wife?”
Namjoon felt silent. Damn his slip of the tongue. He wanted to turn it into a joke (but you’re the mother, so you’re the wife), but why should he…? Hadn’t it been on his mind this past few weeks…? To propose…? Namjoon swallowed and gathered the courage to speak.
“Can I tell you something?”
Seokjin stared at him curiously.
Namjoon took his phone out of his pocket. He browsed through his gallery and showed Seokjin a picture. It was a picture of the pretty male in the convenient store that night.
“Me…?”
“Yeah. You.”
“You have a picture of me in your phone…?”
“I’m a creep for you, yes,” Namjoon quickly stated. “But a positive kind of creep.” Seokjin raised his eyebrows in amusement. “That night in the convenient store, I had no courage to talk to you. So I did the first thing that came to mind: snapping your picture.” Seokjin raised his eyebrows again, this time in playful judgment. “I didn’t do anything weird with it, I promise. At first, it was just to…gather my courage to approach you. To say hi to you. But the more I look at you, the more I feel like I want to know you better. To be your friend. To be your boyfriend. To be the one beside you whenever you’re in need.”
Seokjin seemed a bit sad all of a sudden.
“Even with my condition…?”
“Especially with your condition. And no, I’m not saying this because I want to make you feel better. You need to know that I’m serious about you. And that I am crazy for you, and only you.”
The corner of Seokjin’s lips twitched. “Namjoon…?”
Namjoon took a deep breath before taking Seokjin’s hand in his. “Kim Seokjin, would you please let me be the one who take care of you…for the rest of your life?”
Namjoon’s stomach jolted upon seeing Seokjin’s expression. It was either disbelief or doubt, Namjoon couldn’t tell. He could feel the content of his stomach churning, and he momentarily pondered if it was what Seokjin had been feeling all along. Seokjin was taking a long time to answer, and without thinking, Namjoon put on the ring on the pretty male’s finger. He was just wild guessing Seokjin’s size, but it fit.
The ring fit.
Namjoon gasped. “Is that a yes?”
“What?”
“Is-is that a yes? You never answered.”
“Should I? You shove the ring already.”
“Yeah, but you could’ve said…” Namjoon trailed off as realization dawned upon him. “Does this mean you’re going to be my wife?”
Seokjin broke into laughter as he examined the ring on his finger. Tears were starting to form in the rim of his eyes as he looked at Namjoon and nodded.
“I don’t even need to answer…”
End.
When the boys went back and they noticed the happy tears, the room became loud with happiness and excitement (with the proper volume because they wouldn’t want to be scolded again). It was as if everyone else forgot why they were there in the first place.
“He really is okay with you and a set of five children,” Hoseok said in awe. “Make that four. I’m old enough to take care of myself. You’re really a wonderful person, Seokjin-Hyung.”
“He is, isn’t he?” Namjoon frowned. “Wait, Hyung?”
Hoseok gave him a look. “Surely you know that Seokjin-hyung is two years older than you?”
Namjoon made a face.
“It’s okay, I dig older bottom, younger top. I will ship you guys forever,” Jimin cheerfully said.
YES I LIKE HOSEOK SO MUCH OKAY FINE I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS T___T
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: NamJin
Warning: BoyxBoy Love. Enough said.
Summary: Namjoon knew that Seokjin was the one from the first glance.
[1]
A couple of weeks had passed since then, and day by day, they were getting closer.
Texting was becoming a usual habit between them.
After waking up in the morning, between lunch break, even before going to bed.
They never met or went home together unless it was Friday. Namjoon of course wouldn’t mind if Seokjin went home with him every day, but he didn’t know how to say it to Seokjin without sounding like asking him out. So for now, every Friday was enough (although sometimes it felt like a date too, going out every Friday).
That day, Namjoon was done first so he went to Seokjin’s cubicle instead.
“Hey you.”
Seokjin looked up. He seemed surprised that he was the one who got visited instead of the other way around, but lack the strength to react properly. “Namjoon…”
Namjoon frowned. Something was definitely wrong. "Are you alright?"
Seokjin brought a hand to cover his mouth. His skin was even paler than usual. "I guess..."
"What did you eat for lunch today?"
"It’s nothing spicy…also nothing weird..." Seokjin pursed his lips. “But it could be the kimchi…maybe I shouldn’t have eaten so many…maybe they were already bad…”
"Do you want to throw up?"
"I don't think so...not now, anyway…"
"Can you hold it in, then? I promise to drive as quickly as I can."
"I’m not sure, Namjoon…but I’ve been thinking about it… What if I suddenly throw up in your car? Maybe I should just take the taxi tonight…"
The thought of going home without Seokjin pained Namjoon. "No!” He grabbed Seokjin’s arm without thinking. “No, please. It's alright. I’ll take you home."
"Are you sure?" Seokjin didn’t seem to mind Namjoon’s hand on him, but it could be because he was too weak to do anything. “It’s really alright… I don’t want to bother you…”
"One hundred percent sure. Come on, let’s get you home quickly."
“Alright…”
***
Namjoon kept glancing at Seokjin in the car, worried and somehow scared.
Was gastritis supposed to be this bad? He was certain that Seokjin would've done anything to not upset his stomach, but sometimes it probably couldn't be helped.
At times like this, he wished there was something he could do to make the other male's pain go away.
He wanted to ask if he was okay, but worried of the answer that Seokjin would (always) say he was okay while he was actually not. He was also scared Seokjin would feel annoyed by the question.
Seokjin suddenly made a vomit sound, and Namjoon turned to him so fast, his neck almost crack. The former chuckled weakly. "I'm sorry... If I really throw up, I would pay for the cleanup, I promise."
"That's not what I’m thinking right now," Namjoon frowned. "I really wish there's something I can do to make you feel better." He could feel Seokjin's eyes on him, but fought the temptation to stare back. "But I don't know how."
"You're funny," Seokjin said after making another vomit sound. "Normally no one would stay after hearing this."
"Well I'm not normal then."
"That's not what I mean…"
"And the next thing you say is that normally no one would want to kiss you after this."
Namjoon bit his lower lip nervously.
"Because I would."
Seokjin made another vomit sound-which Namjoon dismissed because no, that was probably not the real reaction to his words. But it made them say nothing more for the rest of the way.
Thankfully it wasn't much farther to Seokjin's apartment.
When Seokjin couldn’t hold it anymore, Namjoon pulled over at the speed of light. The pretty male quickly got out of the car and managed to vomit on the nearest trash can. Namjoon followed closely as he rubbed the other male's back soothingly and felt painful at the sight.
How long has it been...?
Doesn't anyone else ever help you...?
Have you been all alone enduring this...?
Namjoon sighed quietly. He waited until Seokjin was finally done, his hand was still on the pretty male's back. Seokjin's shoulders were still trembling when he turned to Namjoon.
"I'm sorry you had to see this," Seokjin whispered. His eyes were red from vomiting.
"Don't be. Are you alright?"
"I will be..." Seokjin managed to find a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his mouth. "Thank you for the ride... I’m sorry we couldn’t get dinner. Be careful on your way home…"
Namjoon pressed his lips into a thin line as he made up his mind.
"No. I'm staying with you."
"What?"
"I'm staying," Namjoon repeated.
"Please, Namjoon," Seokjin's tone sounded like he was begging. "I just need to rest… I’m fine, I will be fine on my own, I promise. I will text you..."
"No," Namjoon adamantly said, shaking his head. "You don't look like you're fine. Stop saying you are."
"This happens almost every day-"
"But I wasn't there!" Namjoon let out a frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. The blond-haired male extended a hand to Seokjin before standing up. "I wasn’t there with you when ‘this’ happens almost every day. At least...at least let me make sure you're okay. Let me take you up to your apartment."
Seokjin merely stared at the proffered hand. He looked so tired.
"Please…please, Seokjin."
Seokjin dropped his gaze to his lap before nodding and took Namjoon's hand.
The trip upstairs felt like forever. Their hands kept intertwining the whole time, and Namjoon felt like his heart was about to leap out of his throat. He didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to let go. It was only when Seokjin had to unlock the front door that they both let go, and Namjoon would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed.
"Uh…" Seokjin trailed off as he opened the door.
"Is it okay if you drink water?"
"No…water just makes it worse..."
"Warm water? Hot tea?"
"I just need to rest..." Seokjin looked exhausted, his face was even paler than before. "Usually I'll be fine in the morning..."
"I see. Go to sleep, then."
“What about you…?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be here.”
Seokjin gave Namjoon one last glance before smiling. It was feeble, but it was sincere. "Thank you so much, Namjoon… I'm also sorry…"
With that, the pretty male stepped into his bedroom and a moment later, Namjoon heard a soft thud. The door was ajar, so he took the chance to see if Seokjin landed safely on the bed. He did. It seemed like Seokjin fell asleep right away.
A few minutes had passed, and it was when Namjoon realized he was still staring like a creep. The male facepalmed.
What am I doing?
He was supposed to go home. He just meant to take Seokjin to the front door and leave.
I should go home.
Namjoon bit his finger momentarily before making himself comfortable on the couch.
No.
He was staying.
***
Namjoon woke up a little too early than usual.
His back hurt from sleeping on the couch, also he didn't sleep very soundly because a few times he jerked awake just to check on Seokjin.
Namjoon yawned as he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was a little after five AM.
Might as well make some tea…
Namjoon must’ve been a little bit loud in the kitchen that it managed to wake Seokjin up.
"…Namjoon?"
"Ah, good morning. Sorry, was I being too loud? I was looking for sugar..." Namjoon paused to get a good look at Seokjin. "How are you feeling this morning?"
Seokjin ignored the question and looked at him in disbelief. "You…you really didn't go home…?"
"Nope."
"But why…?"
Namjoon took a deep breath. It wasn't exactly the kind of conversation he wanted to have in the early morning. But Namjoon made up his mind, he wasn't going to hide anything anymore. He was going to be honest with Seokjin from now on.
"I want to make sure you're okay."
"Why…?"
"Because I care about you, Seokjin."
There.
He said it.
It wasn't exactly I love you, but it was enough. It was close enough to a confession. Namjoon truly cared about Seokjin, and it was the truth.
Seokjin’s eyes widened as he took a step back. "I..."
Namjoon held his breath. Okay, he wasn't thinking straight before. He was ready with conveying his feelings to Seokjin, but he wasn't ready with Seokjin's reaction.
What if he said no?
Kim Namjoon you idiot!
At least pick up a place where you can easily leave after getting rejected!
"I don't want to be a burden to you…"
Namjoon opened his mouth to reply, but it soon turned into a frown. He wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. "What-"
"Please hear me out first," Seokjin quickly said. He looked like he was having trouble with what he was about to say. "All of this started when I was in college. My parents...died, in an accident, right after they visited me. It was winter break, but due to the paper I was working on, I couldn't go home. They came to visit me instead..."
Seokjin's eyes were teary.
Namjoon resisted the urge to hug him and wipe his tears.
"So when they died, I felt like it was all my fault. If only I came home... If only I booked them the nearest hotel... If only I didn't tell them it would mean a lot to me if they were there with me… And their deaths affected me so much that I almost wasn't able to move on.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't finish my study... At first some of my friends stayed, but probably since I was in a black hole of depression, they all left, one by one. Even when I started making friends again, they all said they would help me with my illness. But when I couldn't eat certain kinds of food, or drink alcohol, it kinda makes me the boring guy, you know?"
Seokjin seemed emotional as he played with the end of his shirt.
Namjoon blinked. "So…?"
"So that's why I... I chose to be alone."
“Is that it?”
Seokjin looked confused. “What…?”
Namjoon shook his head in visible anger. "I'm sorry, but it makes me really angry to know that your friends aren't the real friends. And I'm sorry you haven't met your true friends yet.
"When Yoongi got into an accident and he broke his shoulder, none of us left him. When Jimin got so drunk and vomited on the street, none of us left him. When I needed to ace my English test that I needed help studying, none of my friends left me. See, Seokjin, that's what true friends are. No one leaves the other when they're in need."
Namjoon paused to take a breath.
"And when I said, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, I mean it. And that I'm not normal, because I still want to be there beside you when you vomit, when you feel pain, when you’re not at your best. And about the kiss-what I meant was, I like you. I like you a lot and I still would kiss you even after you vomited.
"I like you so much, Seokjin, and that I want to be by your side and go through this together."
Seokjin blankly stared at Namjoon, who took a minute to compose himself after saying that many sentences. He bit his lower lip, not knowing what to respond. "Really…?"
Namjoon nodded, relieved that he had said it all. "Really."
"You really mean that…?"
"Yes. I promise you, you will see that I'm different. You just gotta give me a chance."
"I… I like you a lot, too…"
“Yeah, I-” Namjoon held his breath. Did he hear that right? "R-really?"
Seokjin blinked his tears away and laughed as he nodded. "Really..."
Without thinking, Namjoon took a few steps forward to Seokjin.
"W-wait, I still reek of vomit-"
Namjoon closed his eyes as he pulled the Seokjin into a kiss.
“I don’t care.”
***
They were finally official.
Slowly, but surely, Seokjin was starting to open up to Namjoon. He also seemed a bit more cheerful than he was before, and Namjoon was glad about it.
Their relationship wasn't a secret, but Namjoon didn't want Seokjin to feel burden or anything, so they decided on being discreet. They rarely had lunch together, but since they went home together (it was every day now), dinner mostly happened.
Namjoon was happy. Seokjin was starting to smile a lot, and it made him even happier.
Seokjin rarely vomited anymore, and they still laughed over the fact that Namjoon was alright with kissing him with his morning breath and the traces of his vomit… But even then, Namjoon didn’t feel disgusted at all. Fortunately, Seokjin managed to stop Namjoon before their lips met for the first time and cleaned up first.
And then their lips met in the sweetest kiss.
It was around a month later when they had dinner on another Friday night and stumbled upon one of their colleagues.
“Yo, Kim Namjoon!”
Namjoon broke into a grin when he realized who it was. “Jackson. How are you?”
“I’m good, how about you? Wait, I didn’t think I saw Hoseok and the others.”
“Yeah, because I’m not with them.”
“That makes sense. The restaurant is way too quiet.”
Namjoon pretended to be offended. “Hey, we’re a lovely loud crowd! I’ll be sure to pass what you said to Hoseok.”
“Pass it on!” Jackson playfully hit Namjoon and they broke into laughter. “Are you here by yourself or…?”
“Nah, I’m with my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend,” Jackson repeated dumbly. “Kim Seokjin?”
“Wow,” Namjoon blinked. “How do you guess?”
“Because… I just saw Seokjin sat by himself in a crowded restaurant. That’s just unusual to see.”
“Ah, I forgot that you know him too.”
“Dude, everyone knows Seokjin from HR. He’s so pretty.”
Namjoon was torn apart between wanting to smile proudly or be threatened by what Jackson just said.
“It’s too bad that he doesn’t socialize much. Now that I think about it, he’s been in a brighter mood nowadays. I guess that must be because of you, huh?”
“He is…?”
“He is, trust me.”
“I’m glad, then.”
“Anyway, gotta use the restroom. Say hi to the boys for me.”
“I will. See you later, Jackson.”
Namjoon then went to the pay the bills before going back to his table. He saw that Jackson was with Mark and several others from IT Department, it looked like one of them was having a birthday. Namjoon poked Seokjin’s nose playfully.
“Hey. Ready to go home?”
***
“Something on your mind?”
Seokjin snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head at Namjoon. “No.”
“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet since the restaurant.”
“What do you mean? I’m always like this.”
They stopped at a red light, and Namjoon took the opportunity to snatch Seokjin’s hand.
“Not since you start dating me. Is something wrong?”
“No…”
“Seokjin,” Namjoon called out and he got a blank stare in response. “I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to know everything.”
“But it’s really nothing. I’m just full.”
“You barely ate at the restaurant.”
“I’m…sleepy?”
Namjoon narrowed his eyes in dislike and Seokjin finally gave in.
“I’m pretty sure I just misheard it. Also, I thought I’m used to it so it shouldn’t be a problem…”
“Hey, your boyfriend doesn’t understand a word you’re saying,” Namjoon snapped his fingers and pointed shamelessly at himself. “Explanation, please.”
If he wasn’t feeling so down, Seokjin would’ve laugh at his boyfriend’s attitude. The black-haired male sighed inaudibly. “It was the girls on Jackson’s table...”
“What of them?”
Seokjin shook his head. “They said it was such a pity that you were…with me.” He clearly felt the anger that was coming from Namjoon that he quickly continued, “But I don’t mind. I mean, everyone finds me boring because I'm such a picky eater and I don't drink… I'm kinda used to that anyway."
Namjoon groaned. "Why didn't you tell me back at the restaurant?"
"I don't think I should... Besides, I don't want to cause a scene..."
"But I could've done something-"
"Which would cause a scene. Seriously, it's nothing to be worried about. I just need you to care about me."
"I do care about you. But…”
“Then I’ll be fine. I promise.”
Seokjin gave Namjoon a comforting smile, but Namjoon didn’t feel comforted at all.
He never ever wanted Seokjin to feel sad, but he decided to just let it slide this time.
***
Ever since that night, Seokjin refused to eat outside.
He would say that he was tired, or that he wasn’t in the mood for dine-in, but Namjoon knew the real reason behind it. He didn’t understand why Seokjin had to feel insecure, no matter what happened, Namjoon was already head over heels for him. Namjoon had chosen Seokjin, and nothing was going to make him change his mind.
Perhaps it was because Seokjin had been alone for a long time, with no one to support or comfort him whenever he felt down.
But it had been going for a few weeks that Namjoon thought it was time to stop.
That day, Namjoon made a surprise visit. He told Siri to call his boyfriend (“Kim Seokjin my love”) and waited for the call to connect. Two seconds later, Seokjin picked up.
“Hey...”
“Hey babe, I’m here outside your apartment. Come on, let’s go out.”
“Why so sudden? Can’t we just order take-out instead…?”
“No, not tonight. Come on. I’m waiting for you in the car. Don’t let me wait too long, alright?”
Namjoon could tell that Seokjin hesitated at the other line.
“It’ll be alright. Come on, trust me on this, okay?”
“Fine… Wait for me, then.”
Fifteen minutes later, a very pretty Seokjin got into the car. Namjoon’s heart swelled with pride as he stared at his boyfriend. He must’ve been staring too long that it was starting to make Seokjin uncomfortable.
“What…?”
“You’re so pretty. Now I’m afraid what people will think about me beside you.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes and smiled in amusement. “You just say that to make me feel better.”
“I’m not. You are pretty.”
Namjoon leaned in for a kiss, which Seokjin happily obliged. He broke their kiss with a smile, and managed to steal another kiss before really pulling away.
“Fasten your seatbelt, we’re already late.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Half an hour later, they arrived at a Korean restaurant.
Seokjin nervously looked around because the place was quite crowded. What if they stumbled upon their colleagues again, what would they say this time…? Would he be able to handle it…?
“Can’t we just take away…?”
Namjoon answered by holding his hand. Seokjin felt his boyfriend squeezing his hand, as if to say it was alright, that he shouldn’t be afraid. He gave up upon seeing Namjoon’s encouraging smile. Seokjin was about to say something when he heard voices around him.
“You guys are finally here!” Taehyung clapped his hands in excitement as he saw Seokjin. “Wow, you really are pretty!”
“You are! Damn you Namjoon-hyung!” Jungkook scowled as he pointed at Namjoon. “I’m envious!”
“You are pretty in your picture, but you’re even prettier in person!” Yoongi complimented. “Why are you even with our beloved Namjoon-hyung?”
“Hey hey, whatever happens to proper manner? Greet him first!” Namjoon scolded. “What if he runs away after meeting you guys?”
“Hello, I’m Park Jimin, and I wouldn’t mind having you as my mommy,” Jimin said as he pushed Namjoon aside (“Hey!) and hugged Seokjin. “Please be my mommy forever.”
“M-mommy?”
“Well, Namjoon-hyung acts like a brother and a father to me, so I guess that makes you my mother?”
“Ah…” Seokjin was starting to understand. He turned to Namjoon with a bright smile. “These are your boys…?”
“Only one left out,” Namjoon motioned Hoseok who had just joined the crowd. “This is Hoseok.”
“Hi, nice to meet you,” Hoseok grinned as he waved his hand. “I hope you don’t get a heart attack after meeting us. We are a very loud crowd.”
“Have you ordered, Hoseok-Hyung? I’m starving!”
“Yeah, all spicy except two originals for Namjoon and Seokjin-hyung.”
“You can’t eat spicy food?” Jimin looked at Seokjin with his puppy eyes. “That’s too bad.”
“I also can’t drink alcohol, but it’s alright,” Seokjin gazed lovingly at Jimin like he was his own son.
Namjoon exchanged a glance with Hoseok. It amazed them that it only took Seokjin a few minutes to play his role as a mother. Damn Jimin and his charm.
“Hey, who has the cake? Come on, let’s sing happy birthday before the food arrives! Seokjin-hyung, come sit over here!” Taehyung patted the empty seat beside him. “Let’s sing together!”
“I’m sorry, but he’s still my boyfriend, so he sits with me,” Namjoon snatched Seokjin from Jimin’s territory and playfully stuck his tongue out.
Seokjin noticed the jacket that Jungkook was wearing and suddenly realized what the occasion was. “Namjoon, why didn’t you tell me that it’s Jungkook’s birthday?”
“It’s Jungkook’s birthday.”
Seokjin gave him a look. “I could’ve brought something for him…”
“Sorry,” Namjoon patted the pretty male’s head apologetically. “This dinner was last minute decision. Also, I was afraid you wouldn’t come…you know, since you’re a bit skeptical about meeting other people…”
“But they aren’t other people. They’re…your boys.”
Namjoon broke into a wide smile upon hearing it. “Yeah…they’re my boys. Seokjin baby, meet my boys.”
“You made it sound like we’re your children or something,” Hoseok piped up. “What if he refuses your marriage proposal because you come with a set of five kids? Don’t come to me crying.”
The group leader choked on nothing at Hoseok’s words. Fortunately, Yoongi showed up with a birthday cake and started singing with Taehyung. Their singing was actually very good that it seemed to impress the other customers and they started singing as well.
Hoseok and Jimin joined the fun like they were on stage, with Jungkook clapping his hands excitedly.
“Sometimes I don’t know whether to feel proud or feel embarrassed,” Namjoon facepalmed. “But yeah, they’re my boys and I love them.”
Seokjin laughed. “You guys are a loud crowd indeed…but don’t worry, I love your boys already…”
Namjoon smiled. “You do?”
“Yeah…”
It occurred to Namjoon to blurt out how about being their mother forever? but then shook his head.
It can wait.
***
Everything was going so well for the next few months.
Slowly, but surely, Seokjin became part of the group. He didn’t even protest when Jimin treated him like a mother, in fact, he seemed to enjoy Jimin’s treatment. Sometimes Namjoon caught the two of them hugging like a mother and a child, but of course he didn’t feel threatened.
The others were just as accepting, and no one made fun of Seokjin’s illness.
Seokjin was starting to laugh a lot, and Namjoon was grateful for it. Their relationship was starting to be full of jokes and goofiness, and Namjoon loved it. It was much better than Seokjin being sad, alone, and kept everything bottled inside. With him being happier, his gastritis rarely acted up, since Seokjin had Namjoon and the others looking out for him.
Their 200th day anniversary was coming up soon, and Namjoon couldn’t think of anything else but to buy a ring.
Hoseok was the only person he told about it. It wasn’t that the others weren’t reliable, but Namjoon considered Jimin and the others his little brothers, and big brothers didn’t share their love stories to their little brothers, so… (Hoseok rolled his eyes at this statement). That also meant, Hoseok was the only person Namjoon found reliable for love advice.
Even though Hoseok was single.
“I’m not proposing,” Namjoon said. “Just…wanting to make him mine.”
“That is the meaning of proposing,” Hoseok rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. “And even if you want to propose, I don’t see why not. You’re mature enough and you’re in love, and it’s normal for you to want to…how should I put this…touch him.”
Namjoon choked. “We-we touch all the time.”
“Yeah. If by touching you mean holding hands…but you know that’s not what I mean. I know you and we’ve been friends for a long time, I know you wouldn’t do anything without Seokjin’s consent. Which I believe…hasn’t been given yet.”
“We-we already kissed.”
“Yeah well…it never gets past that, does it?”
Namjoon facepalmed. “Why do you know me so well?”
Hoseok snickered. “We never talk about it, but I think you’re the kind of person who wants to do ‘it’ after marriage. I’m rooting for you all the way, if that’s what you want. And I think why the consent hasn’t been given yet, is because you haven’t asked for it.”
“I just think that’s because…he’s so precious. And I just…once we’ve done it, I would never want him to do it with anyone else ever again.” Namjoon groaned. “It’s a selfish thought, but it’s acceptable, right? I’m the person who’s going to be his husband!”
“In a right way, though. So…” Hoseok shrugged. “Are we really going to buy wedding rings? Or do you need to think about it some more?”
Namjoon pressed his lips into a thin line. “No. Let’s buy them now.”
“I believe you know Seokjin’s size, then?”
Namjoon’s expression was enough for Hoseok to roll his eyes again.
“Let’s just take a look first then…”
***
Even after their 200th day anniversary, Namjoon hadn’t given Seokjin the ring.
Simply because he wasn’t certain if it was the right time, or if he was rushing.
What if Seokjin said it was all too fast…?
With that in mind, Namjoon decided not to pop the question yet.
Just a few weeks after that, Namjoon got promoted as a Division Manager in the sub-branch.
Everything was happening too fast. Not that he was unhappy with his career, but Namjoon was kind of hoping he could take one step at a time. He was just thinking of proposing for real to Seokjin when his boss broke the news to him. Namjoon had heard about the rumors, but he thought it was just rumors…nothing to be taken seriously. But when his boss delivered the news to him and that he should be in the new branch the next week, he became super busy. He didn’t even get to have his promotion party-not that he minded, though.
The sub-branch wasn’t that far from his apartment, but it would take some time from his new office if he wanted to pick up Seokjin every day…
Would Seokjin think it would be a bother?
Would he still like it if Namjoon picked him up?
Or should they just meet on the weekends?
Namjoon weighed the box on his palm.
It had been a busy week…the amount of them texting had decreased, and it somehow worried Namjoon. He spent last weekend finishing his pending work at the office, so he didn’t get to spend some time with Seokjin. And the next Monday, his new job immediately consumed eighty percent of his time. It turned out being a Division Manager meant more meetings, more gatherings…he would need to persuade clients, perhaps more dinner with clients… He would probably come home later than usual…
Was Seokjin okay about it…?
Namjoon wondered if he should’ve asked Seokjin first about the whole promotion thing. But he had a feeling even if he asked, the pretty male would only smile and that he’d support him no matter what.
Should I ask him to move in with me…?
That way, even when they were both busy, they could still hug each other at the end of the day, and wake up to each other’s presence.
That’s it. Yes. I’m going to do it.
Namjoon grabbed his phone with such determination, but before he was able to do anything, a call came in.
It was from Jimin.
“Hey, Jimin.”
“Hyung!”
Namjoon immediately straightened in his seat. “Jimin, what’s wrong?”
“It’s Seokjin-hyung! Please…you have to come here! We’re at the hospital…”
It took Namjoon seconds to memorize the address of the hospital before rushing as fast as he could. Throughout the way to the hospital, it was a miracle that he managed to get there in one piece-if he didn’t do his best to stay calm, he would’ve crashed his car into something.
Hoseok was already there with a very crying Jimin beside him.
“What happened?” Namjoon still did his best to stay calm, but his voice showed otherwise. “What happened, Jimin?”
“They’re currently pumping out the content of his stomach,” Hoseok said quietly. “He kept on vomiting and they had to pump it out.”
“His stomach? What the heck did he eat?”
“I swear, Hyung,” Jimin said between tears. “I swear I didn’t know he was going to try the wine…he said he would buy it but just to celebrate your promotion. He said it’s no celebration without wine… I’m so sorry, Hyung…”
Namjoon shut his eyes, suddenly having a terrible headache.
Shit. You and your fucking promotion, Namjoon.
“It’s not your fault,” Namjoon sighed as he patted Jimin’s head. “It must’ve been harder for you to witness it. Just…how many did he drink…?”
“I…I’m not sure…a glass or two…?”
Shit.
“He was vomiting so much… I was so scared…”
Namjoon covered his face with his hands and leaned against the wall. His feelings were a mess. Namjoon recalled the first time he took the black-haired male home. Just a small amount of spicy food sent Seokjin kneeling on the toilet floor for minutes, certainly alcohol would’ve made much more damage than that.
“You okay?” Hoseok asked. “You have to be okay.”
Namjoon breathed loudly.
“Get yourself together. He’ll need you when he wakes up.”
The leader took a deep breath before opening his eyes. He turned to Hoseok with a nod. “You’re right.”
“Don’t be angry at him.”
“I’m angry at myself,” Namjoon said, his tone rising slightly. “I didn’t know it would affect him this much.”
“He’s trying for you.”
“But he doesn’t have to.”
“Well,” Hoseok landed a soft punch on Namjoon’s arm. “That’s why you guys should talk about it.”
Namjoon opened his mouth, but closed it back when he saw Yoongi and the others arrived at the hospital. His lips twitched into a small smile when Jungkook and Taehyung danced in order to cheer Jimin up, and ended up got scolded by the nurse.
***
When Seokjin was awake, the boys had already left to have dinner.
There were so many things that Namjoon wanted to say to Seokjin, but the minute his boyfriend opened his eyes, it all went to heaven-knew-where and Namjoon could only pull him into a tight embrace.
“Hey…” Seokjin said weakly.
“Do you want to drink?”
“Yes please…”
Namjoon gave a glass of water to Seokjin, which the latter gulped down in seconds. “Do you want more?”
“No, it’s enough…” Seokjin glanced around the room. “Are you alone? Are the boys here?”
“Yeah. They were, but Hoseok took them out to dinner… They’ll be back soon.”
“They will…?”
“Yeah. How are you feeling? I’ll get you something to eat.”
“How’s Jimin…?”
There was a pause. “He couldn’t stop crying.”
“I…I feel bad for Jimin…”
“Then why did you do it?”
Seokjin looked surprised at first, but then his expression turned into guilt. “I just…”
“It could’ve killed you,” Namjoon’s voice cracked. “What if it killed you? What about me? Did you want to leave me?”
“I’m sorry,” Seokjin whispered, his eyes were teary. “I’m sorry.”
“You knew what it could’ve done to you, Seokjin. It was dangerous for you.”
“A-a colleague said I might have to adapt to your new lifestyle since you’re a manager now. She said, I might be an embarrassment for you if I keep on avoiding alcohol and be a picky eater… I don’t want that. I don’t want to embarrass you… I just want to try…maybe, just maybe…alcohol is alright…”
“Goddammit, Jin, why do you have to listen to anyone else?” Namjoon almost pulled his hair out in frustration. “They don’t know about your condition. Or even if they do, they don’t care. This is about your health, baby. Who cares about what others think? I’m not ashamed of you, and you should stop thinking that way.”
“But what if you become a CEO one day? Would you mind if I’m not there beside you when there are parties and gatherings? Would it be alright if I prefer to just stay home, to avoid all the questions that will be asked…?”
“I don’t mind, and it’s alright. But I would prefer it if you’re there beside me, and when they do ask the questions, I’ll answer that we don’t drink. I don’t drink because I’m driving, and you don’t drink because it’s good for your health.”
Seokjin broke into a sheepish smile. “You just want to make me feel better. You know you have your own driver when you’re a CEO.”
“But I’m not a CEO yet, I’m just a lowly manager and you’re my wife.”
“Wife?”
Namjoon felt silent. Damn his slip of the tongue. He wanted to turn it into a joke (but you’re the mother, so you’re the wife), but why should he…? Hadn’t it been on his mind this past few weeks…? To propose…? Namjoon swallowed and gathered the courage to speak.
“Can I tell you something?”
Seokjin stared at him curiously.
Namjoon took his phone out of his pocket. He browsed through his gallery and showed Seokjin a picture. It was a picture of the pretty male in the convenient store that night.
“Me…?”
“Yeah. You.”
“You have a picture of me in your phone…?”
“I’m a creep for you, yes,” Namjoon quickly stated. “But a positive kind of creep.” Seokjin raised his eyebrows in amusement. “That night in the convenient store, I had no courage to talk to you. So I did the first thing that came to mind: snapping your picture.” Seokjin raised his eyebrows again, this time in playful judgment. “I didn’t do anything weird with it, I promise. At first, it was just to…gather my courage to approach you. To say hi to you. But the more I look at you, the more I feel like I want to know you better. To be your friend. To be your boyfriend. To be the one beside you whenever you’re in need.”
Seokjin seemed a bit sad all of a sudden.
“Even with my condition…?”
“Especially with your condition. And no, I’m not saying this because I want to make you feel better. You need to know that I’m serious about you. And that I am crazy for you, and only you.”
The corner of Seokjin’s lips twitched. “Namjoon…?”
Namjoon took a deep breath before taking Seokjin’s hand in his. “Kim Seokjin, would you please let me be the one who take care of you…for the rest of your life?”
Namjoon’s stomach jolted upon seeing Seokjin’s expression. It was either disbelief or doubt, Namjoon couldn’t tell. He could feel the content of his stomach churning, and he momentarily pondered if it was what Seokjin had been feeling all along. Seokjin was taking a long time to answer, and without thinking, Namjoon put on the ring on the pretty male’s finger. He was just wild guessing Seokjin’s size, but it fit.
The ring fit.
Namjoon gasped. “Is that a yes?”
“What?”
“Is-is that a yes? You never answered.”
“Should I? You shove the ring already.”
“Yeah, but you could’ve said…” Namjoon trailed off as realization dawned upon him. “Does this mean you’re going to be my wife?”
Seokjin broke into laughter as he examined the ring on his finger. Tears were starting to form in the rim of his eyes as he looked at Namjoon and nodded.
“I don’t even need to answer…”
End.
When the boys went back and they noticed the happy tears, the room became loud with happiness and excitement (with the proper volume because they wouldn’t want to be scolded again). It was as if everyone else forgot why they were there in the first place.
“He really is okay with you and a set of five children,” Hoseok said in awe. “Make that four. I’m old enough to take care of myself. You’re really a wonderful person, Seokjin-Hyung.”
“He is, isn’t he?” Namjoon frowned. “Wait, Hyung?”
Hoseok gave him a look. “Surely you know that Seokjin-hyung is two years older than you?”
Namjoon made a face.
“It’s okay, I dig older bottom, younger top. I will ship you guys forever,” Jimin cheerfully said.
YES I LIKE HOSEOK SO MUCH OKAY FINE I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS T___T