Kyung's got it goin' on
Title: Kyung's got it goin' on
Rating: pg-13 (language)
Genre: humor
Pairing: Zikyung (ninja)
Summary: (Flight of the Conchords "bret you've got it going on") Kyung's been dumped again and it's up to Zico to boost his confidence!
Kyung's got it goin' on
Inspired by this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtfQg4KkR88
Jiho came home to a silent apartment. Rare-normally Kyung was blasting hip hop and yelling the English lyrics with an endearing accent (not to mention many of the lyrics he didn’t know and instead chose to just mumble loudly until he reached a part he recognized again).
A quiet apartment only meant one thing. Jiho sighed, toeing his shoes off and closing the door firmly behind him. He was hoping to get some rest time and maybe bully Kyung into playing some shooting video game with him or something but it seemed like he’d be playing psychiatrist again.
Stupid women.
Or maybe, since it happened so often, it should be ‘stupid Kyung.’ There are only a certain number of times you can be shot down before it’s you and not them.
Jiho walked straight, past the beckoning sofa and television to left, past the kitchen filled with snacks to his right. He walked down the wooden hallway and stopped at the closed door on the right. Several huge pieces of duct tape were plastered on the door. Thick red sharpie glared back at him familiarly. Kyung, keep out! And underneath was his handwriting in blue pen toxic body odor inside. Beware! Kyung in black pen drew a sick figure of him stabbing the appropriately labeled stick figure “Jiho” with a sword. Jiho drew a dick around Kyung. Good times.
Jiho knocked on the door as a warning more than a request. He opened it immediately after and stepped into the dim room. Ugh, Kyung was in emoting-mode. Jiho sneered a bit (honestly, it was just a stupid female. She obviously didn’t know what a lucky bitch she was and therefore Kyung should be celebrating that he ditched such a bimbo.)
Instead of vocalizing any of these ego-boosting thoughts, Jiho carefully picked his way across the trash and clothing strewn floor over to the small twin bed in the corner. There was a bundle underneath the purple blanket (one that Jiho bought him as a joke on his birthday but it was so soft Kyung couldn’t bring himself to part with it) and Jiho gingerly sat on the corner of the mattress and looked at where he assumed Kyung’s head would be.
“Dumped again, huh Kyung?” The lump moved and a voice escaped from the covers.
“Wow, you are the most sensitive friend ever. How was I so lucky to get you,” Kyung droned sarcastically from under his blankets. The muffled tone took out any venom that may have been delivered with his message. Instead he sounded pathetic.
“There, there” Jiho said heartlessly, slamming his hand down violently on the lump. A grunt and squeak of pain let Jiho know Kyung had been laying on his back…oops. Jiho winced sympathetically.
Kyung fought his way out of his tangled cocoon of purple blanket, revealing disheveled black hair and small, angry eyes. “Why are you here, Jiho?” he groused.
Jiho grinned brightly in response. “It’s my job as best friend to cheer you up” he said obviously.
“Yeah well, you suck balls at cheering me up. Go away.” Kyung’s head disappeared back under the blanket.
Jiho blinked. Well, how rude of his friend to just reject his kindness like that! He cleared his throat and shuffled further onto the mattress, scooting his butt back and shoving lump-Kyung against the wall. “You leave me no choice, comrade!” he proclaimed dramatically, waving his arms and morphing into Rap-Mode. “Zi-I-co is gonna lay some smooth tracks down fo’ yo’ sweet ass!”
Kyung moaned audibly from his cocoon. “God, please no.”
“Jus’ listen, babay, and let Z-I-co rock yo’ world! Rraaaa!” Lump-Kyung kicked his foot at Jiho’s ass in weak retaliation.
Jiho started rapping at Lump-Kyung’s head.
“Hey there, Kyung, I see you looking down. Don’t wanna see mah lil’ buddy down wit’ a frown! Just because I get mo’ women than you, well tha’s only because they dun’ know you like I do!”
Kyung growled and threw the covers off his face to glare at his best friend. Jiho’s mouth was in that goddam sneer again. Kyung hated Rap-Mode. “You do not get more women than me!” he cried indignantly. Rapper Z-I-co ignored him.
“Sure you weedy, and kinda shy. But sum hunny out there must be needy for a weedy shy guy. They want’chu as the needle when they rollin’ in da hay. Jus’ hear me out when I say-”
“Asshole, don’t compare my junk to a needle! And weedy? I could kick your ass, fool!”
“KYUNG YOU GOT IT GOIN’ OOOOOOOOOON-”
“Don’t ignore me!”
“The ladies will get to know ya’ sexuality when dey get to know ya’ personality!”
“That’s the problem!”
“KYUNG YOU GOT IT GOIN’ OOOOOOOOOON!!!”
Kyung was now sitting up, face buried in his hands with second-hand embarrassment.
“Not in a gay way, just in a ‘hey man, I wanted to say that ya’ lookin’ okay, man’!” Jiho waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Kyung pantomimed vomiting.
“Why can’t a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?”
Kyung, by now, wore an extremely disturbed face. Jiho was quick to follow up.
“Not all da time, obviously, just when he's gotta problem wit’ his self-esteem.”
Kyung blinked.
“Don't let anybody tell you you're not humpable, because you're bumpable. Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable if I say you've got a boom ow-ow. Come on Kyung, help me out now.”
Kyung sighed and gave up. Jiho was going to finish his stupid song, and Kyung couldn’t deny that the lyrics were disturbing enough to be hilarious. “You realize you’ve called me humpable and implied that you’d fuck me, right?” he said with a raised eyebrow. Jiho, no that’s not right, Z-I-co ignored him and continued.
“Kyung you got it goin’ oooooon!”
“You got it goin’ on,” Kyung chimed in, unable to resist his best friend’s enthusiasm. Jiho grinned at him and Kyung’s heart pounded. Ew. What?
“No doubt about it, we'd be getting’ crazy if one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.”
Okay, scratch that, Kyung was weirded out again. “What?!”
By now Jiho was enthralled in his own rap, staring at the wall across the room and head bobbing like he was dodging imaginary bullets (or vegetables because of the crap he’s spewing, Kyung thought).
“If one of us was a lady, and I was your man,” Jiho looked over at Kyung’s flushed face and suddenly Kyung felt like Jiho was confessing. Which was weird because this was the worst crap Jiho’d ever thought of (and that was really saying something) and he’d thought Jiho would always be really suave with words. Suddenly Jiho lost his rhythm and just started talked quickly and Kyung wondered if aliens had abducted him.
“Well, sometimes it gets lonely, and I need a woman.”
Kyung’s eyes widened.
“And then I imagine you with some bosoms.”
His lip curled.
“In fact, one time when we were touring and I was really lonely, and we were sharing that twin room in the hotel...IputawigonyouwhenyouweresleepingandIjustlaidthereandspoonedyou.”
Kyung was now frozen in shock and staring horrified at his best friend, who seemed to rally himself at the end of his rap.
“Uh, Kyung, you got it goin’ on.”
Jiho cleared his throat and posed, looked confidently at his best friend’s disturbed expression. “So hopefully that made you feel better…”
Kyung swallowed and looked suspiciously at Jiho’s eyes until the latter averted them.
“You put a WHAT on me?!” he screamed shrilly.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, it’s just lyrics!”
“Woo Jiho I’m going to kill you!” and Kyung lunged over his purple blanket and tackled Jiho to the ground.
As Jiho was being choked by his best friend’s hands he congratulated himself with a job well done. Kyung was feeling better. Maybe next time he’d find someone better than a gross woman to make out with…
…and he’d never tell Kyung about the wig hiding in the back of his closet. Never.
*** A/N: No words kkkk <3 I love FOTC
*
Rating: pg-13 (language)
Genre: humor
Pairing: Zikyung (ninja)
Summary: (Flight of the Conchords "bret you've got it going on") Kyung's been dumped again and it's up to Zico to boost his confidence!
Kyung's got it goin' on
Inspired by this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtfQg4KkR88
Jiho came home to a silent apartment. Rare-normally Kyung was blasting hip hop and yelling the English lyrics with an endearing accent (not to mention many of the lyrics he didn’t know and instead chose to just mumble loudly until he reached a part he recognized again).
A quiet apartment only meant one thing. Jiho sighed, toeing his shoes off and closing the door firmly behind him. He was hoping to get some rest time and maybe bully Kyung into playing some shooting video game with him or something but it seemed like he’d be playing psychiatrist again.
Stupid women.
Or maybe, since it happened so often, it should be ‘stupid Kyung.’ There are only a certain number of times you can be shot down before it’s you and not them.
Jiho walked straight, past the beckoning sofa and television to left, past the kitchen filled with snacks to his right. He walked down the wooden hallway and stopped at the closed door on the right. Several huge pieces of duct tape were plastered on the door. Thick red sharpie glared back at him familiarly. Kyung, keep out! And underneath was his handwriting in blue pen toxic body odor inside. Beware! Kyung in black pen drew a sick figure of him stabbing the appropriately labeled stick figure “Jiho” with a sword. Jiho drew a dick around Kyung. Good times.
Jiho knocked on the door as a warning more than a request. He opened it immediately after and stepped into the dim room. Ugh, Kyung was in emoting-mode. Jiho sneered a bit (honestly, it was just a stupid female. She obviously didn’t know what a lucky bitch she was and therefore Kyung should be celebrating that he ditched such a bimbo.)
Instead of vocalizing any of these ego-boosting thoughts, Jiho carefully picked his way across the trash and clothing strewn floor over to the small twin bed in the corner. There was a bundle underneath the purple blanket (one that Jiho bought him as a joke on his birthday but it was so soft Kyung couldn’t bring himself to part with it) and Jiho gingerly sat on the corner of the mattress and looked at where he assumed Kyung’s head would be.
“Dumped again, huh Kyung?” The lump moved and a voice escaped from the covers.
“Wow, you are the most sensitive friend ever. How was I so lucky to get you,” Kyung droned sarcastically from under his blankets. The muffled tone took out any venom that may have been delivered with his message. Instead he sounded pathetic.
“There, there” Jiho said heartlessly, slamming his hand down violently on the lump. A grunt and squeak of pain let Jiho know Kyung had been laying on his back…oops. Jiho winced sympathetically.
Kyung fought his way out of his tangled cocoon of purple blanket, revealing disheveled black hair and small, angry eyes. “Why are you here, Jiho?” he groused.
Jiho grinned brightly in response. “It’s my job as best friend to cheer you up” he said obviously.
“Yeah well, you suck balls at cheering me up. Go away.” Kyung’s head disappeared back under the blanket.
Jiho blinked. Well, how rude of his friend to just reject his kindness like that! He cleared his throat and shuffled further onto the mattress, scooting his butt back and shoving lump-Kyung against the wall. “You leave me no choice, comrade!” he proclaimed dramatically, waving his arms and morphing into Rap-Mode. “Zi-I-co is gonna lay some smooth tracks down fo’ yo’ sweet ass!”
Kyung moaned audibly from his cocoon. “God, please no.”
“Jus’ listen, babay, and let Z-I-co rock yo’ world! Rraaaa!” Lump-Kyung kicked his foot at Jiho’s ass in weak retaliation.
Jiho started rapping at Lump-Kyung’s head.
“Hey there, Kyung, I see you looking down. Don’t wanna see mah lil’ buddy down wit’ a frown! Just because I get mo’ women than you, well tha’s only because they dun’ know you like I do!”
Kyung growled and threw the covers off his face to glare at his best friend. Jiho’s mouth was in that goddam sneer again. Kyung hated Rap-Mode. “You do not get more women than me!” he cried indignantly. Rapper Z-I-co ignored him.
“Sure you weedy, and kinda shy. But sum hunny out there must be needy for a weedy shy guy. They want’chu as the needle when they rollin’ in da hay. Jus’ hear me out when I say-”
“Asshole, don’t compare my junk to a needle! And weedy? I could kick your ass, fool!”
“KYUNG YOU GOT IT GOIN’ OOOOOOOOOON-”
“Don’t ignore me!”
“The ladies will get to know ya’ sexuality when dey get to know ya’ personality!”
“That’s the problem!”
“KYUNG YOU GOT IT GOIN’ OOOOOOOOOON!!!”
Kyung was now sitting up, face buried in his hands with second-hand embarrassment.
“Not in a gay way, just in a ‘hey man, I wanted to say that ya’ lookin’ okay, man’!” Jiho waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Kyung pantomimed vomiting.
“Why can’t a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?”
Kyung, by now, wore an extremely disturbed face. Jiho was quick to follow up.
“Not all da time, obviously, just when he's gotta problem wit’ his self-esteem.”
Kyung blinked.
“Don't let anybody tell you you're not humpable, because you're bumpable. Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable if I say you've got a boom ow-ow. Come on Kyung, help me out now.”
Kyung sighed and gave up. Jiho was going to finish his stupid song, and Kyung couldn’t deny that the lyrics were disturbing enough to be hilarious. “You realize you’ve called me humpable and implied that you’d fuck me, right?” he said with a raised eyebrow. Jiho, no that’s not right, Z-I-co ignored him and continued.
“Kyung you got it goin’ oooooon!”
“You got it goin’ on,” Kyung chimed in, unable to resist his best friend’s enthusiasm. Jiho grinned at him and Kyung’s heart pounded. Ew. What?
“No doubt about it, we'd be getting’ crazy if one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.”
Okay, scratch that, Kyung was weirded out again. “What?!”
By now Jiho was enthralled in his own rap, staring at the wall across the room and head bobbing like he was dodging imaginary bullets (or vegetables because of the crap he’s spewing, Kyung thought).
“If one of us was a lady, and I was your man,” Jiho looked over at Kyung’s flushed face and suddenly Kyung felt like Jiho was confessing. Which was weird because this was the worst crap Jiho’d ever thought of (and that was really saying something) and he’d thought Jiho would always be really suave with words. Suddenly Jiho lost his rhythm and just started talked quickly and Kyung wondered if aliens had abducted him.
“Well, sometimes it gets lonely, and I need a woman.”
Kyung’s eyes widened.
“And then I imagine you with some bosoms.”
His lip curled.
“In fact, one time when we were touring and I was really lonely, and we were sharing that twin room in the hotel...IputawigonyouwhenyouweresleepingandIjustlaidthereandspoonedyou.”
Kyung was now frozen in shock and staring horrified at his best friend, who seemed to rally himself at the end of his rap.
“Uh, Kyung, you got it goin’ on.”
Jiho cleared his throat and posed, looked confidently at his best friend’s disturbed expression. “So hopefully that made you feel better…”
Kyung swallowed and looked suspiciously at Jiho’s eyes until the latter averted them.
“You put a WHAT on me?!” he screamed shrilly.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, it’s just lyrics!”
“Woo Jiho I’m going to kill you!” and Kyung lunged over his purple blanket and tackled Jiho to the ground.
As Jiho was being choked by his best friend’s hands he congratulated himself with a job well done. Kyung was feeling better. Maybe next time he’d find someone better than a gross woman to make out with…
…and he’d never tell Kyung about the wig hiding in the back of his closet. Never.
*** A/N: No words kkkk <3 I love FOTC
*