How to Communicate with One’s (creepy) Husband
Title: How to Communicate with One’s (creepy) Husband
Rating: PG
Pairing: Chanyeol/Kyungsoo
Length: one-shot
Word Count: 5114
Summary: Kyungsoo wants some romance in his life, so he decides to try and find someone on dokidoki. And he does find someone. The perfect guy. The only problem is he's kind of creepy.
Disclaimer: I don't own exo
Kyungsoo was tired of being single. All he did was attend class, go to work, and cook for his culinary incompetent roommate, Jongin. There was nothing exceptional about his life. Nothing exciting. He was sure some romance would change that. He just didn't know how to go about finding that romance.
“You should try dokidoki.” Baekhyun told him after class one day. “I met a guy from Canada on it.”
Kyungsoo figured it was worth a shot.
It was Thursday night, and Jongin was in the midst of devouring his second serving of kimchi spaghetti while Kyungsoo had barely finished his first. Pushing the spaghetti around his plate, Kyungsoo let out a long sigh.
Jongin paused, fork halfway to his mouth. “Ok, that's like the fifth time you've sighed. Can you stop? It's distracting and I'm trying to eat.”
“Ask me what's wrong.”
“But I don't care.”
“Ask me or I'm not cooking for you for a week.”
Jongin's eyes widened. “I'd starve to death!”
Kyungsoo shrugged.
“Ugh. Fine. What's wrong?”
“You know that app Baekhyun told me about? I downloaded it, and I've gotten a bunch of messages, but they’re all from older men!”
“The majority of the men on the planet are older than you.”
Kyungsoo ignored him. “The first guy was 29, the next one was 31, and then after that there was a 30 and 32 year old. There was even a guy in his forties!”
“In his forties?! What kind of app is this?”
“I don't know! It looks so innocent and cute, but then there are all these older men.”
“They should call it pedoki.” Jongin started taking up another half serving of spaghetti, “So did one of these old guys say something weird to you? Is that why you’re upset?”
“No, actually. They've been pretty nice. Aside from being old, they seem normal.”
“Oh... Um, ok. So you're into older guys now?”
“No!”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I want to find someone around my age! Someone I can have an actual relationship with! This is important to me and I'm lonely!”
“Ah.” Jongin cleared his throat awkwardly. “In that case, sorry for joking around. I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you for who you are and wants to be with you.”
Kyungsoo was touched. “Do you really mean that?”
“Of course not. You're trying to meet someone using a phone app. You're just going to find a bunch of creeps.” Jongin got up and nodded to Kyungsoo. “Thanks for the meal.”
“At least bring your plate in!” Kyungsoo called, but Jongin ignored him.
That was when Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate. He took it out of his pocket only to find he had a message on dokidoki, from a guy he’d never spoken to before.
This guy was going to be perfect, Kyungsoo decided. That would show Jongin.
A few minutes after replying to the new guy and asking his age, Kyungsoo got a response.
33.
The next morning, Kyungsoo dragged himself out of bed to get ready for his early class. Out of habit, he checked his phone. Like the night before, he had a message from a new guy on dokidoki.
This message, however, was unlike any he had yet to receive.
hi my husband
Kyungsoo stared at his phone for a very long time.
He couldn't reply to it. Definitely not. This was one of the creepy people Jongin had mentioned. Or maybe someone just fooling around. Either way, he couldn't reply.
But he couldn't help it.
When did we get married?
By the time Kyungsoo had finished his shower and returned to his room, he had a reply.
today. why don't you know? :(
Sorry, I forgot.
dont forget again :(
Ok, I won't. But I’ll need a ring if we’re married.
husband ♥♥♥
How was he supposed to reply to that, exactly? And what was up with all the hearts?
Kyungsoo decided to just ask what he needed to know, before this went any further.
How old are you?
Kyungsoo waited, but he didn't get a response right away. He finished getting ready for class before checking his phone again.
21
21?! That was the same age as Kyungsoo! Maybe he'd finally found his perfect match! This guy could just be joking about the marriage thing, after all, as a sort of creepy ice breaker. Maybe everything would go right.
What's your name?
park Chanyeol
I’m Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo smiled and put his phone away as he picked up his book-bag. Park Chanyeol, 21 years old. According to dokidoki, he even lived somewhere in Korea. He had so much potential. Kyungsoo couldn't wait to tell Jongin how wrong he'd been about the app.
Just as he was about to leave the apartment, Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate again. Taking it out, he found another message from Chanyeol.
i love you ♥♥♥
Kyungsoo stared at his phone for a while, then he went straight to Jongin's room and started pounding on the door. A moment later and Jongin threw it open, glaring at Kyungsoo. “What do you want?!”
“I'm married!” Kyungsoo wailed, shoving his phone in Jongin's face. “My husband's 21 and I just met him this morning and he said he loves me!”
Jongin blinked groggily at him for a second, then slammed the door in Kyungsoo's face.
The whole bus ride to the university Kyungsoo contemplated how to respond to Chanyeol- if at all. Finally, he decided on something.
Haha, I love you too.
Chanyeol's reply came almost immediately.
you really??
im really
Kyungsoo shoved his phone deep in his pocket and slumped in his seat. What had he gotten himself into?
Baekhyun laughed for a solid minute after Kyungsoo told him about his husband.
“Congratulations on getting married!”
Kyungsoo glared at him. “This isn't funny! He's so creepy. I added him on line, because I thought maybe it would get better, but it hasn’t. He’s even creepier. I’m going to stop talking to him.”
“At least find out what he looks like first.” Baekhyun said. When Kyungsoo frowned at him he added, “What? Aren't you curious?”
“I guess...”
“Then ask him.”
“What if he thinks it's weird that I’m asking?”
“The first thing he did was call you his husband. You can't get any weirder than that.”
“You're right.” Kyungsoo said, but he still hesitated a moment before messaging Chanyeol.
I need to see what you look like before this goes any further.
It took five minutes for Chanyeol to reply.
what
Did he not understand? Kyungsoo messaged him again.
A picture?
Another ten minutes and Chanyeol still hadn't replied.
“What if I freaked him out?” Kyungsoo asked, interrupting Baekhyun's complaints about a paper he had due.
“If you did, so what? At least that saves you having to break things off... unless you wanted to keep talking to him?”
Before Kyungsoo could reply, his phone started vibrating. Yanking the device out of his pocket, Kyungsoo opened the new message he had from Chanyeol and found a picture of a tall young man with short dark hair on his screen.
“Wow.” Baekhyun said, peering over his shoulder. “Your husband's actually hot.”
Kyungsoo didn't say anything. Instead, he replied to Chanyeol.
Awwww! You're cute!
Chanyeol replied instantly.
not cute
“He doesn't like being called cute.” Kyungsoo said to Baekhyun.
“He is a guy.”
“I like being called cute.”
“Yeah, but you're... you know... you.”
Kyungsoo frowned at him and returned his attention to his phone.
You're handsome?
Chanyeol replied a minute later.
:) ♥♥♥
For whatever reason, that made Kyungsoo feel relieved.
It was Saturday night, and Kyungsoo was sitting in his living room, laptop balanced on his crossed legs. Jongin came in, just home from his part-time job. He went straight to the kitchen and returned with a can of soda.
“What are you doing?” Jongin asked, leaning over the back of the sofa to look at Kyungsoo's laptop screen.
“Talking to my husband.”
“You mean the creep you were complaining about when you woke me up yesterday?”
“Yes.”
“You mean the guy who confessed immediately and then called you his husband?”
“He called me his husband first.” Kyungsoo clarified. “We got married before he told me he loved me. And he’s not ‘the guy’. His name’s Chanyeol.”
“You’re a lot less freaked out about this than yesterday.”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo said. “He’s hot.”
“Your husband?”
“Yes.” Digging his phone out of his pocket, Kyungsoo quickly found the picture of Chanyeol he’d saved and showed it to Jongin.
“Huh. He is. Lucky you, finding a cute creepy husband.”
“He doesn’t like being called cute.” Kyungsoo said absent-mindedly, suddenly staring hard at his computer. “How am I supposed to reply to this?”
“To what?”
Kyungsoo gestured to his laptop.
come to me
“Don’t.” Jongin said.
“Don’t what?”
“Reply to it. Your husband’s a creep.”
While Jongin walked away, Kyungsoo looked at the picture on his phone again, then the creepy message. Chanyeol was so weird, but so good looking...
Sorry, I can’t. I have class.
:(
Maybe some other time.
haha i love husband ♥♥♥
Again with the loving. It was different this time, Kyungsoo noted. Chanyeol had started with ‘haha’. Did that mean he was joking? It had to mean he was joking. Why else would Chanyeol start his message that way?
So, in other words, his husband was sane. Or at least, saner than Kyungsoo had thought.
Sunday afternoon, Kyungsoo got a message from Chanyeol. There weren’t actually any words, just an image of a pair of cartoon lips. All Kyungsoo could think to reply was:
?
Chanyeol sent another pair of cartoon lips soon after, this time with the words ‘kiss me’ below them.
So much for thinking his husband was sane.
Haha
Kyungsoo didn’t know what else to say besides that. Chanyeol responded anyway.
i love Kyungsoo ♥♥♥
This was the first time he’d used Kyungsoo’s actual name in a confession. Somehow, that made everything even worse.
Kyungsoo spent the next few moments staring at Chanyeol’s picture, reminding himself why he was putting up with this creepiness.
Monday night, after supper, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were having their first real conversation. Sort of. At least, they were talking about something other than their marriage and apparent love for each other.
Kyungsoo had decided to ask what kind of music Chanyeol liked, and was delighted to find out he listened to k-pop, even a few of Kyungsoo’s favourite bands. Finally, a safe topic. They could discuss this for awhile without anything getting weird.
Chanyeol mentioned at one point a couple of songs he liked to sing, and Kyungsoo had the sudden thought that he might be a trainee. Married to a trainee! Married to someone who might become an idol! That would make all the creepiness worth it!
Instead of asking outright, Kyungsoo typed:
Are you good at singing?
Chanyeol replied instantly:
no :(
Disappointed, Kyungsoo responded with:
That’s ok.
i love you ♥♥♥
Now Kyungsoo was disappointed as well as creeped out.
A week had passed since Kyungsoo had gotten married. He’d spoken to Chanyeol for a bit almost everyday, and by now was more or less used to his creepiness. At least, he was used to the constant confessions. Chanyeol seemed to turn everything into another confession of his love. On Wednesday, for example, they’d somehow started talking about animals and Kyungsoo had said he loved dogs.
Chanyeol had said he loved Kyungsoo.
Thinking back on it, he probably shouldn’t have used the word ‘love’ when talking to Chanyeol.
“So how’s the married life treating you?” Baekhyun asked on their way to class that morning. “Have you had your first fight yet?”
“No, not yet. How’s the Canadian guy you were talking to?”
“Oh, I stopped talking to him. I met this new guy, from China. But I don’t want to talk about my dokidoki experience. It’s boring compared to yours. No one’s proposed to me yet.”
“Chanyeol didn’t propose.” Kyungsoo pointed out. “We just got married.”
“Didn’t propose? So you don’t even have a ring? What kind of husband is he! You should ask him for a ring.”
“I already did, and I’m not risking it again. What if he wanted to meet up? He’s asked me twice now to ‘come to him’!”
Baekhyun laughed. “You really have the creepiest husband ever!”
Kyungsoo couldn’t deny that.
Remembering a conversation he’d had with Chanyeol the day before, Kyungsoo took out his phone and showed Baekhyun his husband’s picture again. “Does he look 184cm to you?”
“In that picture? No, not really. Why?”
“He said that’s his height.”
“He’s obviously lying! He can’t be that tall!”
Kyungsoo frowned at the picture, which had been taken against a plain wall. “If only there was something to compare him to, like a door...”
“Wait, I think I have an idea... has he asked you for a picture yet?”
“No.”
“So he doesn’t know what you look like?”
Kyungsoo shook his head.
Baekhyun grinned. “Then why don’t you finally ‘go to him’? Agree to meet up somewhere, and go see him in person. You don’t have to actually speak to him; he won’t even know you’re there!”
“Why would I do something like that?!”
“Don’t you want to know if he’s actually that tall?”
“I don’t want to know that badly!”
“C’mon, it’d be easy! He said he lives here, right?”
“I don’t know his exact location...”
Baekhyun nudged him. “Just give it a try! I’ll come too, for moral support.”
“You just want to see him in person yourself.” Kyungsoo said. “Besides, if I ask him to meet me he’ll probably ask for my picture so he knows what I look like.”
“Just tell him you’ll be wearing a certain colour jacket or something. If he still really wants your picture, then stop talking to him.”
“Stop talking to him altogether?” Kyungsoo asked, suddenly apprehensive.
“Yeah. You’ve only been talking to him for fun, right? You were going to stop sooner or later.” Baekhyun gave Kyungsoo a measuring look. “Weren’t you?”
“Yeah...” Kyungsoo said, but he wasn’t completely sure. He couldn’t imagine a day when Chanyeol didn’t creepily tell him he loved him with three hearts.
“So are you going to ask him to meet up?”
“Probably not. But if I do, I’ll let you know.”
A few days later Kyungsoo got the news that he’d been accepted into a summer study abroad program he’d applied to a month ago. He was really excited at the idea of going away for a few weeks, even if he’d spend most of his time in class. He decided to tell Chanyeol about it.
Chanyeol’s only response to the news was:
no come to me instead
Kyungsoo sighed. Of course Chanyeol would reply that way.
Sorry, I can’t. I’ve been wanting to go on this trip for a while.
It leaves something to be desired.
As bizarre as Chanyeol’s response was, what Kyungsoo found most bizarre was the fact he’d actually used proper punctuation.
Sorry.
Kyungsoo waited for Chanyeol to tell him to come to him again, or that he loved him, or even just an unhappy face. He waited, but Chanyeol didn’t reply. Not five minutes later. Not ten minutes later. Not an hour later.
Were they having their first fight?
It was Thursday morning and Jongin was sitting across from Kyungsoo at the dining table, lazily picking at his breakfast. Jongin only ever got up when he had an early shift that he’d failed to pawn off to a fellow co-worker.
“Chanyeol still hasn’t messaged me.” Kyungsoo whined.
“You’re still talking to that weirdo?”
“No! Because he won’t message me back!”
Jongin rolled his eyes.
“What if I really hurt his feelings? Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about the trip. Maybe he thinks I don’t care about him, since I’m going to leave the country but won’t even visit him.”
“When you say it like that, I’m surprised he hasn’t divorced you.”
Kyungsoo bit his lip, pushing his eggs around his plate anxiously. “What if he does?”
Suddenly, Jongin leaned across the table and clapped his hands in front of Kyungsoo’s face, startling his room-mate.
“What was that for?!”
“Kyungsoo, do you hear yourself? You’ve been talking to this creep for two weeks, and all you really know about him is his name and what he looks like- which could all be fake, in case you’ve forgotten- and now you’re suddenly worried you’ve hurt his feelings? That he thinks you don’t care? Do you care?!”
“I don’t know!” Kyungsoo snapped without thinking. Flustered, he said, “I mean, I don’t care. But I don’t want to make him feel bad, even if he is creepy. I can’t help it. I’m not a mean person.”
Jongin sighed. “Fine. Go ahead and waste time worrying about it. Just quit complaining so much.”
“But I’m worried! He still hasn’t replied!”
“Maybe his phone died.”
“For two days?!”
“Maybe his phone broke.”
“He could have used his laptop!”
“Maybe that broke too.”
“I should just face it!” Kyungsoo wailed, “He hates me!”
“Maybe he can’t reply.” Jongin suggested. “Maybe he’s dead.”
Kyungsoo stared at him.
“What? It could be true. Maybe he was writing a reply to you when he got hit by a car. Maybe he’s in a coma. Maybe he’ll never wake up. Wouldn’t that make a great romance movie?”
Kyungsoo stood up. “I’m not talking to you about this anymore.”
“Finally.”
“And clean up the dishes or I won’t cook for you tonight!” Kyungsoo said before walking away.
“I have to go to work!” Jongin called.
Kyungsoo ignored him.
That day, after Kyungsoo got out from his last class, he checked his phone. He had a new message from Chanyeol.
come to me
Kyungsoo was relieved Chanyeol was back to normal, so relieved he replied:
Ok. Let’s meet on Friday.
Friday, after he got out of school, Kyungsoo went to the café where he’d agreed to meet Chanyeol. As per Baekhyun’s suggestion, he’d told Chanyeol he’d wear a jacket of a certain colour. Chanyeol had been fine with that; rather, he hadn’t asked for a picture, simply replied to everything with:
i love Kyungsoo ♥♥♥♥
Four whole hearts. That was a first.
Kyungsoo arrived early, wearing a plain white t-shirt. He still wasn’t sure if he’d approach Chanyeol when he saw him. If he did, he’d just say he couldn’t find his jacket, or something like that.
Kyungsoo had decided to tell Baekhyun about the meeting, though he hadn’t invited him. Still, Kyungsoo wasn’t surprised when he went into the café and saw Baekhyun sitting at one of the window seats.
He was surprised to see Baekhyun wearing a green jacket.
“Why are you wearing that?!” Kyungsoo hissed, sliding in across from his friend.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s green!” Kyungsoo snapped. “I told you Chanyeol thinks I’ll be wearing a green jacket!”
Baekhyun’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, I completely forgot.”
“Take it off!”
“But I don’t really like the shirt I’m wearing underneath on its own-”
“Take it off!”
Baekhyun quickly shrugged out of his jacket.
“Now hide it in your bag!”
“I don’t have a bag!”
Kyungsoo looked around feverishly, trying to find somewhere Baekhyun could hide his jacket. That was when Kyungsoo heard the café door open behind him. Baekhyun’s eyes fixed on the person that walked in. “Oh crap.”
Kyungsoo couldn’t help himself, he turned and looked. There, standing just inside the café, was Chanyeol. He looked as tall as he’d said he was.
Chanyeol glanced around the café and his eyes landed on Baekhyun.
“Maybe he won’t come over.” Baekhyun whispered. “Maybe, since we’re together, he’ll think my jacket’s just a coincidence and-”
Chanyeol smiled and started walking over.
“Shit.” Baekhyun squeaked.
Chanyeol reached their table, his full attention on Baekhyun. “Hello. You must be my husband.”
Kyungsoo was startled by how deep his voice was. Not unpleasantly deep. Kyungsoo actually kind of liked it.
“Uh...” Baekhyun’s eyes darted from Chanyeol to Kyungsoo and back, “Not really...”
Chanyeol frowned, and Kyungsoo found the expression incredibly cute. “You aren’t my husband?”
Baekhyun slowly shook his head.
Still frowning, Chanyeol turned to look around the café. Not finding anyone else in a green jacket, he checked his phone, then started to text.
Kyungsoo’s heart sped up, but his phone didn’t ring or vibrate. It took him a moment to remember he’d silenced his phone earlier. Relief flooded him.
Chanyeol’s frown deepened and he walked away, up to the counter to place an order. Somehow, watching Chanyeol walk away tainted Kyungsoo’s relief.
Baekhyun turned back to his friend and mouthed ‘Oh my god’. Kyungsoo nodded at him, finding his gaze drawn back to Chanyeol, who was paying at the counter. When he was finished, Chanyeol carried his coffee to a table on the other side of the store.
“That was so weird!” Baekhyun said to Kyungsoo, “He just came right up to us! He didn’t hesitate at all!”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo said, still watching Chanyeol, who in turn was watching the door expectantly.
“He even came out and asked if I was his husband, like it was nothing! What if we didn’t actually know what was going on? That would be even weirder!”
“Yeah.”
“Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun said, trying to get his attention.
“Shh! What if he hears you say my name?!”
“So you don’t want him to know who you are?”
“Of course not!”
Baekhyun gave him an unconvinced look. “You’re staring at him like you want to introduce yourself.”
Kyungsoo blushed. “He’s my type, ok?”
“Creepy’s your type?”
“No! Look, I just feel bad about tricking him.” Kyungsoo said, then more quietly. “He is my husband.”
“Are you sure creepy isn’t your type?”
Kyungsoo glared at Baekhyun, then glanced over at Chanyeol again. He was still watching the door, but every few seconds he would check his phone. As discretely as he could, Kyungsoo pulled out his own phone and opened the message Chanyeol had sent him.
im here come to me
Kyungsoo bit his lip, unsure of what to do.
“Just message him back saying something came up and you have to cancel.” Baekhyun said.
“But that’s like standing him up!”
“Not really. Anyway, what’s the alternative? Actually stand him up and not tell him anything? Or,” Baekhyun added, “You could tell him everything. He’s right there.”
Kyungsoo thought about it a moment, nibbling his bottom lip. Then he said, “Maybe I should go speak to him.”
“Are you serious?! What if he turns into a crazy stalker! I was joking when I said you could tell him everything! He seems even creepier in person!”
“It’s the right thing to do.” Kyungsoo said.
“Are you insane?” Baekhyun hissed, but Kyungsoo was already walking away from the table.
Every step he took towards Chanyeol made Kyungsoo more and more nervous. Up until the last minute he still thought he’d turn around and rush back to his table. Somehow, he made it over to where Chanyeol was sitting. Chanyeol turned his attention from the door to Kyungsoo, giving him a questioning look.
“Uh...” Kyungsoo started, fighting the urge to wipe his sweaty palms off his jeans. “Hi. I’m your husband, Kyungsoo.”
Chanyeol blinked at him. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Chanyeol got up from his chair and stood in front of Kyungsoo. Just when Kyungsoo was wondering what was going on, Chanyeol went down on one knee in front of him. He pulled something out of his pocket and held it up for Kyungsoo. It was a ring.
“I’m sorry it’s late, husband.” Chanyeol said.
Kyungsoo gaped at him. Out of the corner of his eye he could see everyone in the café staring at them, and Baekhyun trying to hold back his laughter while he video-taped everything.
Embarrassed and startled and confused, Kyungsoo could only stare at Chanyeol.
“Will you take it... husband?” Chanyeol asked, sounding almost uncomfortable as his gaze darted from Kyungsoo to the people in the café.
More to take the attention off them than anything else, Kyungsoo took the ring from Chanyeol. “Um... thanks...”
Someone in the café applauded. Just one person. Then everyone went back to ignoring them.
Chanyeol got up, looking extremely relieved. “I’m so glad that’s over.”
Kyungsoo turned his attention from the cheap toy ring to Chanyeol, confused. “What?”
Chanyeol made a vague gesture between them, which explained nothing. Then he sighed and said, “Want to sit down?”
Puzzled, Kyungsoo sat, as did Chanyeol. They looked at each other a moment, then Chanyeol said, “So, um, I guess I should explain myself? You know, about the whole husband thing.”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo said. “That might help.”
“Ok.” Chanyeol ran a hand through his short hair, looking strained. He was quiet a moment longer, then seemed to get an idea. He pointed past Kyungsoo. “See that guy over there? His hair is dyed pink.”
Kyungsoo glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, there was a boy with pink hair at a table not too far from them. He had his phone out and was video-taping them just like Baekhyun. Seeing that Kyungsoo was looking at him, the boy grinned and waved.
“That’s my friend, Sehun.” Chanyeol said. “Friend on probation, I should say. You know that first message I sent you on dokidoki? Hi my husband? I did that because I lost a bet with Sehun. The loser had to do whatever the winner said, and he decided I had to do that. He also said I had to keep up the husband charade until the other person stopped talking to me, or until I could get them to accept a ring, so we’d be ‘officially’ married.”
It took Kyungsoo a minute to process all of this. He was surprised- really surprised- and annoyed at being fooled. But more than that, he felt a little sad.
In the end, all he could say was: “Oh.”
Seeing his expression, Chanyeol quickly went on, “I didn’t think it would get this far. I thought you’d stop talking to me... but you didn’t. Actually, that made me kind of happy. Even though I was saying such weird stuff you were still nice to me, and you even went along with it a little. I really appreciated that and... I kind of had fun talking to you, even if I wasn’t really being myself. Basically, I’m sorry for involving you in this.”
“That’s ok.” Kyungsoo said, even though it wasn’t. Not at all. Leaving the ring on the table, Kyungsoo started to get up.
“You’re going already?” Chanyeol asked.
“Yeah.” Was all Kyungsoo could manage in reply.
Even though Kyungsoo had known all along it could be a big joke- and had at one point hoped it was, since that would make it a bit less creepy- he still felt hurt. Really hurt. And not just because he’d been fooled, but because maybe for a moment he’d thought there was some hope that this creepy relationship would turn into a relatively normal relationship, and that he’d finally have some romance in his life. But he’d been wrong.
“Wait.” Chanyeol said, reaching over to grab Kyungsoo’s arm before he could leave. “I... I really am sorry about this, but I did enjoy talking to you. And I’m glad you decided to meet with me today. I... well, I was hoping we could put the whole husband thing behind us and maybe go out for real sometime...?”
Kyungsoo stared at him, “Are you actually asking me on a date after all that?”
Chanyeol winced a little. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Is this part of your bet too?”
“No. No way, I swear it’s not. This is all me.”
Kyungsoo watched him a moment longer, then looked at Chanyeol’s hand, which was still on his arm. Seeming to realize this, Chanyeol quickly pulled his hand back.
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol said again. “I shouldn’t have asked you that. You probably think I’m an even bigger jerk now.”
“Yeah. I do.” Kyungsoo said. “Breaking up with me after only three weeks. That’s definitely a jerk move.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You said you wanted to put the ‘husband thing’ behind us. That sounds like a break-up to me.” Kyungsoo suddenly snatched the toy ring off the table. “But I’m keeping this. And if anyone asks, I’m saying it was a mutual decision. Or I broke up with you.”
Chanyeol blinked at him a moment longer, then slowly started to smile. “Since you’re single now, can I ask you out?”
Kyungsoo shrugged. “Only if you treat.”
“It’s the least I can do. Are you busy at the moment?”
Kyungsoo shook his head so Chanyeol got up, taking his coffee with him. About to go over and tell Baekhyun he was leaving, Kyungsoo stopped when he saw his friend sitting with Chanyeol’s friend. The two were laughing and seemed to be comparing the videos they’d taken on their phones.
“That’s your friend?” Chanyeol asked.
“Yeah. He’s the one that introduced me to dokidoki. He met his past five boyfriends that way.”
“They’ll get along, then.” Chanyeol said. “Sehun met his current boyfriend on dokidoki too. Some Chinese guy called Luhan.”
“Oh really? That’s the same name as the guy Baekhyun’s dating.”
“Must be a common name over in China.”
“Probably.”
Chanyeol was still looking at Baekhyun and Sehun, “No offence, but I’m glad your friend wasn’t actually my husband.”
“Why?” Kyungsoo asked, curious.
“You’re cuter.” Chanyeol blushed a little, then quickly added, “I mean more handsome.”
Kyungsoo smiled. “I actually like being called cute.”
Chanyeol looked relieved. “In that case, you’re really, really cute. I’m lucky to have such a cute husband.”
“And I’m lucky my husband isn’t as creepy as I thought he was. He is, however, a cheapskate.”
“What? Why?”
Kyungsoo held up the ring. “Where did you get this? A cereal box?”
“I’ll make it up to you and treat you to a nice meal.”
“You better.” Kyungsoo said, then glancing at Chanyeol as they left the café. “Are you really 184 cm?”
Chanyeol pouted. “Husband doesn’t believe me?”
Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.
As they passed by the café window, Kyungsoo noticed Sehun and Baekhyun turned around in their chairs. The two were making hearts at them.
“They’re missing one.” Kyungsoo said.
“Huh?”
“You’d usually send me three hearts.” Kyungsoo said. “They only have two.”
When Chanyeol didn’t reply, Kyungsoo turned away from the café to look at him. Chanyeol was grinning goofily, his fingers put together to form a heart which he raised up for Kyungsoo.
Unable to keep from smiling, Kyungsoo said, “That’s more like it, husband.”
A/N: This is actually based off something that happened to one of my friends. It was both funny and creepy. Also, thanks again for beta-reading and editing bling-min.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Chanyeol/Kyungsoo
Length: one-shot
Word Count: 5114
Summary: Kyungsoo wants some romance in his life, so he decides to try and find someone on dokidoki. And he does find someone. The perfect guy. The only problem is he's kind of creepy.
Disclaimer: I don't own exo
Kyungsoo was tired of being single. All he did was attend class, go to work, and cook for his culinary incompetent roommate, Jongin. There was nothing exceptional about his life. Nothing exciting. He was sure some romance would change that. He just didn't know how to go about finding that romance.
“You should try dokidoki.” Baekhyun told him after class one day. “I met a guy from Canada on it.”
Kyungsoo figured it was worth a shot.
It was Thursday night, and Jongin was in the midst of devouring his second serving of kimchi spaghetti while Kyungsoo had barely finished his first. Pushing the spaghetti around his plate, Kyungsoo let out a long sigh.
Jongin paused, fork halfway to his mouth. “Ok, that's like the fifth time you've sighed. Can you stop? It's distracting and I'm trying to eat.”
“Ask me what's wrong.”
“But I don't care.”
“Ask me or I'm not cooking for you for a week.”
Jongin's eyes widened. “I'd starve to death!”
Kyungsoo shrugged.
“Ugh. Fine. What's wrong?”
“You know that app Baekhyun told me about? I downloaded it, and I've gotten a bunch of messages, but they’re all from older men!”
“The majority of the men on the planet are older than you.”
Kyungsoo ignored him. “The first guy was 29, the next one was 31, and then after that there was a 30 and 32 year old. There was even a guy in his forties!”
“In his forties?! What kind of app is this?”
“I don't know! It looks so innocent and cute, but then there are all these older men.”
“They should call it pedoki.” Jongin started taking up another half serving of spaghetti, “So did one of these old guys say something weird to you? Is that why you’re upset?”
“No, actually. They've been pretty nice. Aside from being old, they seem normal.”
“Oh... Um, ok. So you're into older guys now?”
“No!”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I want to find someone around my age! Someone I can have an actual relationship with! This is important to me and I'm lonely!”
“Ah.” Jongin cleared his throat awkwardly. “In that case, sorry for joking around. I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you for who you are and wants to be with you.”
Kyungsoo was touched. “Do you really mean that?”
“Of course not. You're trying to meet someone using a phone app. You're just going to find a bunch of creeps.” Jongin got up and nodded to Kyungsoo. “Thanks for the meal.”
“At least bring your plate in!” Kyungsoo called, but Jongin ignored him.
That was when Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate. He took it out of his pocket only to find he had a message on dokidoki, from a guy he’d never spoken to before.
This guy was going to be perfect, Kyungsoo decided. That would show Jongin.
A few minutes after replying to the new guy and asking his age, Kyungsoo got a response.
33.
The next morning, Kyungsoo dragged himself out of bed to get ready for his early class. Out of habit, he checked his phone. Like the night before, he had a message from a new guy on dokidoki.
This message, however, was unlike any he had yet to receive.
hi my husband
Kyungsoo stared at his phone for a very long time.
He couldn't reply to it. Definitely not. This was one of the creepy people Jongin had mentioned. Or maybe someone just fooling around. Either way, he couldn't reply.
But he couldn't help it.
When did we get married?
By the time Kyungsoo had finished his shower and returned to his room, he had a reply.
today. why don't you know? :(
Sorry, I forgot.
dont forget again :(
Ok, I won't. But I’ll need a ring if we’re married.
husband ♥♥♥
How was he supposed to reply to that, exactly? And what was up with all the hearts?
Kyungsoo decided to just ask what he needed to know, before this went any further.
How old are you?
Kyungsoo waited, but he didn't get a response right away. He finished getting ready for class before checking his phone again.
21
21?! That was the same age as Kyungsoo! Maybe he'd finally found his perfect match! This guy could just be joking about the marriage thing, after all, as a sort of creepy ice breaker. Maybe everything would go right.
What's your name?
park Chanyeol
I’m Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo smiled and put his phone away as he picked up his book-bag. Park Chanyeol, 21 years old. According to dokidoki, he even lived somewhere in Korea. He had so much potential. Kyungsoo couldn't wait to tell Jongin how wrong he'd been about the app.
Just as he was about to leave the apartment, Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate again. Taking it out, he found another message from Chanyeol.
i love you ♥♥♥
Kyungsoo stared at his phone for a while, then he went straight to Jongin's room and started pounding on the door. A moment later and Jongin threw it open, glaring at Kyungsoo. “What do you want?!”
“I'm married!” Kyungsoo wailed, shoving his phone in Jongin's face. “My husband's 21 and I just met him this morning and he said he loves me!”
Jongin blinked groggily at him for a second, then slammed the door in Kyungsoo's face.
The whole bus ride to the university Kyungsoo contemplated how to respond to Chanyeol- if at all. Finally, he decided on something.
Haha, I love you too.
Chanyeol's reply came almost immediately.
you really??
im really
Kyungsoo shoved his phone deep in his pocket and slumped in his seat. What had he gotten himself into?
Baekhyun laughed for a solid minute after Kyungsoo told him about his husband.
“Congratulations on getting married!”
Kyungsoo glared at him. “This isn't funny! He's so creepy. I added him on line, because I thought maybe it would get better, but it hasn’t. He’s even creepier. I’m going to stop talking to him.”
“At least find out what he looks like first.” Baekhyun said. When Kyungsoo frowned at him he added, “What? Aren't you curious?”
“I guess...”
“Then ask him.”
“What if he thinks it's weird that I’m asking?”
“The first thing he did was call you his husband. You can't get any weirder than that.”
“You're right.” Kyungsoo said, but he still hesitated a moment before messaging Chanyeol.
I need to see what you look like before this goes any further.
It took five minutes for Chanyeol to reply.
what
Did he not understand? Kyungsoo messaged him again.
A picture?
Another ten minutes and Chanyeol still hadn't replied.
“What if I freaked him out?” Kyungsoo asked, interrupting Baekhyun's complaints about a paper he had due.
“If you did, so what? At least that saves you having to break things off... unless you wanted to keep talking to him?”
Before Kyungsoo could reply, his phone started vibrating. Yanking the device out of his pocket, Kyungsoo opened the new message he had from Chanyeol and found a picture of a tall young man with short dark hair on his screen.
“Wow.” Baekhyun said, peering over his shoulder. “Your husband's actually hot.”
Kyungsoo didn't say anything. Instead, he replied to Chanyeol.
Awwww! You're cute!
Chanyeol replied instantly.
not cute
“He doesn't like being called cute.” Kyungsoo said to Baekhyun.
“He is a guy.”
“I like being called cute.”
“Yeah, but you're... you know... you.”
Kyungsoo frowned at him and returned his attention to his phone.
You're handsome?
Chanyeol replied a minute later.
:) ♥♥♥
For whatever reason, that made Kyungsoo feel relieved.
It was Saturday night, and Kyungsoo was sitting in his living room, laptop balanced on his crossed legs. Jongin came in, just home from his part-time job. He went straight to the kitchen and returned with a can of soda.
“What are you doing?” Jongin asked, leaning over the back of the sofa to look at Kyungsoo's laptop screen.
“Talking to my husband.”
“You mean the creep you were complaining about when you woke me up yesterday?”
“Yes.”
“You mean the guy who confessed immediately and then called you his husband?”
“He called me his husband first.” Kyungsoo clarified. “We got married before he told me he loved me. And he’s not ‘the guy’. His name’s Chanyeol.”
“You’re a lot less freaked out about this than yesterday.”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo said. “He’s hot.”
“Your husband?”
“Yes.” Digging his phone out of his pocket, Kyungsoo quickly found the picture of Chanyeol he’d saved and showed it to Jongin.
“Huh. He is. Lucky you, finding a cute creepy husband.”
“He doesn’t like being called cute.” Kyungsoo said absent-mindedly, suddenly staring hard at his computer. “How am I supposed to reply to this?”
“To what?”
Kyungsoo gestured to his laptop.
come to me
“Don’t.” Jongin said.
“Don’t what?”
“Reply to it. Your husband’s a creep.”
While Jongin walked away, Kyungsoo looked at the picture on his phone again, then the creepy message. Chanyeol was so weird, but so good looking...
Sorry, I can’t. I have class.
:(
Maybe some other time.
haha i love husband ♥♥♥
Again with the loving. It was different this time, Kyungsoo noted. Chanyeol had started with ‘haha’. Did that mean he was joking? It had to mean he was joking. Why else would Chanyeol start his message that way?
So, in other words, his husband was sane. Or at least, saner than Kyungsoo had thought.
Sunday afternoon, Kyungsoo got a message from Chanyeol. There weren’t actually any words, just an image of a pair of cartoon lips. All Kyungsoo could think to reply was:
?
Chanyeol sent another pair of cartoon lips soon after, this time with the words ‘kiss me’ below them.
So much for thinking his husband was sane.
Haha
Kyungsoo didn’t know what else to say besides that. Chanyeol responded anyway.
i love Kyungsoo ♥♥♥
This was the first time he’d used Kyungsoo’s actual name in a confession. Somehow, that made everything even worse.
Kyungsoo spent the next few moments staring at Chanyeol’s picture, reminding himself why he was putting up with this creepiness.
Monday night, after supper, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were having their first real conversation. Sort of. At least, they were talking about something other than their marriage and apparent love for each other.
Kyungsoo had decided to ask what kind of music Chanyeol liked, and was delighted to find out he listened to k-pop, even a few of Kyungsoo’s favourite bands. Finally, a safe topic. They could discuss this for awhile without anything getting weird.
Chanyeol mentioned at one point a couple of songs he liked to sing, and Kyungsoo had the sudden thought that he might be a trainee. Married to a trainee! Married to someone who might become an idol! That would make all the creepiness worth it!
Instead of asking outright, Kyungsoo typed:
Are you good at singing?
Chanyeol replied instantly:
no :(
Disappointed, Kyungsoo responded with:
That’s ok.
i love you ♥♥♥
Now Kyungsoo was disappointed as well as creeped out.
A week had passed since Kyungsoo had gotten married. He’d spoken to Chanyeol for a bit almost everyday, and by now was more or less used to his creepiness. At least, he was used to the constant confessions. Chanyeol seemed to turn everything into another confession of his love. On Wednesday, for example, they’d somehow started talking about animals and Kyungsoo had said he loved dogs.
Chanyeol had said he loved Kyungsoo.
Thinking back on it, he probably shouldn’t have used the word ‘love’ when talking to Chanyeol.
“So how’s the married life treating you?” Baekhyun asked on their way to class that morning. “Have you had your first fight yet?”
“No, not yet. How’s the Canadian guy you were talking to?”
“Oh, I stopped talking to him. I met this new guy, from China. But I don’t want to talk about my dokidoki experience. It’s boring compared to yours. No one’s proposed to me yet.”
“Chanyeol didn’t propose.” Kyungsoo pointed out. “We just got married.”
“Didn’t propose? So you don’t even have a ring? What kind of husband is he! You should ask him for a ring.”
“I already did, and I’m not risking it again. What if he wanted to meet up? He’s asked me twice now to ‘come to him’!”
Baekhyun laughed. “You really have the creepiest husband ever!”
Kyungsoo couldn’t deny that.
Remembering a conversation he’d had with Chanyeol the day before, Kyungsoo took out his phone and showed Baekhyun his husband’s picture again. “Does he look 184cm to you?”
“In that picture? No, not really. Why?”
“He said that’s his height.”
“He’s obviously lying! He can’t be that tall!”
Kyungsoo frowned at the picture, which had been taken against a plain wall. “If only there was something to compare him to, like a door...”
“Wait, I think I have an idea... has he asked you for a picture yet?”
“No.”
“So he doesn’t know what you look like?”
Kyungsoo shook his head.
Baekhyun grinned. “Then why don’t you finally ‘go to him’? Agree to meet up somewhere, and go see him in person. You don’t have to actually speak to him; he won’t even know you’re there!”
“Why would I do something like that?!”
“Don’t you want to know if he’s actually that tall?”
“I don’t want to know that badly!”
“C’mon, it’d be easy! He said he lives here, right?”
“I don’t know his exact location...”
Baekhyun nudged him. “Just give it a try! I’ll come too, for moral support.”
“You just want to see him in person yourself.” Kyungsoo said. “Besides, if I ask him to meet me he’ll probably ask for my picture so he knows what I look like.”
“Just tell him you’ll be wearing a certain colour jacket or something. If he still really wants your picture, then stop talking to him.”
“Stop talking to him altogether?” Kyungsoo asked, suddenly apprehensive.
“Yeah. You’ve only been talking to him for fun, right? You were going to stop sooner or later.” Baekhyun gave Kyungsoo a measuring look. “Weren’t you?”
“Yeah...” Kyungsoo said, but he wasn’t completely sure. He couldn’t imagine a day when Chanyeol didn’t creepily tell him he loved him with three hearts.
“So are you going to ask him to meet up?”
“Probably not. But if I do, I’ll let you know.”
A few days later Kyungsoo got the news that he’d been accepted into a summer study abroad program he’d applied to a month ago. He was really excited at the idea of going away for a few weeks, even if he’d spend most of his time in class. He decided to tell Chanyeol about it.
Chanyeol’s only response to the news was:
no come to me instead
Kyungsoo sighed. Of course Chanyeol would reply that way.
Sorry, I can’t. I’ve been wanting to go on this trip for a while.
It leaves something to be desired.
As bizarre as Chanyeol’s response was, what Kyungsoo found most bizarre was the fact he’d actually used proper punctuation.
Sorry.
Kyungsoo waited for Chanyeol to tell him to come to him again, or that he loved him, or even just an unhappy face. He waited, but Chanyeol didn’t reply. Not five minutes later. Not ten minutes later. Not an hour later.
Were they having their first fight?
It was Thursday morning and Jongin was sitting across from Kyungsoo at the dining table, lazily picking at his breakfast. Jongin only ever got up when he had an early shift that he’d failed to pawn off to a fellow co-worker.
“Chanyeol still hasn’t messaged me.” Kyungsoo whined.
“You’re still talking to that weirdo?”
“No! Because he won’t message me back!”
Jongin rolled his eyes.
“What if I really hurt his feelings? Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about the trip. Maybe he thinks I don’t care about him, since I’m going to leave the country but won’t even visit him.”
“When you say it like that, I’m surprised he hasn’t divorced you.”
Kyungsoo bit his lip, pushing his eggs around his plate anxiously. “What if he does?”
Suddenly, Jongin leaned across the table and clapped his hands in front of Kyungsoo’s face, startling his room-mate.
“What was that for?!”
“Kyungsoo, do you hear yourself? You’ve been talking to this creep for two weeks, and all you really know about him is his name and what he looks like- which could all be fake, in case you’ve forgotten- and now you’re suddenly worried you’ve hurt his feelings? That he thinks you don’t care? Do you care?!”
“I don’t know!” Kyungsoo snapped without thinking. Flustered, he said, “I mean, I don’t care. But I don’t want to make him feel bad, even if he is creepy. I can’t help it. I’m not a mean person.”
Jongin sighed. “Fine. Go ahead and waste time worrying about it. Just quit complaining so much.”
“But I’m worried! He still hasn’t replied!”
“Maybe his phone died.”
“For two days?!”
“Maybe his phone broke.”
“He could have used his laptop!”
“Maybe that broke too.”
“I should just face it!” Kyungsoo wailed, “He hates me!”
“Maybe he can’t reply.” Jongin suggested. “Maybe he’s dead.”
Kyungsoo stared at him.
“What? It could be true. Maybe he was writing a reply to you when he got hit by a car. Maybe he’s in a coma. Maybe he’ll never wake up. Wouldn’t that make a great romance movie?”
Kyungsoo stood up. “I’m not talking to you about this anymore.”
“Finally.”
“And clean up the dishes or I won’t cook for you tonight!” Kyungsoo said before walking away.
“I have to go to work!” Jongin called.
Kyungsoo ignored him.
That day, after Kyungsoo got out from his last class, he checked his phone. He had a new message from Chanyeol.
come to me
Kyungsoo was relieved Chanyeol was back to normal, so relieved he replied:
Ok. Let’s meet on Friday.
Friday, after he got out of school, Kyungsoo went to the café where he’d agreed to meet Chanyeol. As per Baekhyun’s suggestion, he’d told Chanyeol he’d wear a jacket of a certain colour. Chanyeol had been fine with that; rather, he hadn’t asked for a picture, simply replied to everything with:
i love Kyungsoo ♥♥♥♥
Four whole hearts. That was a first.
Kyungsoo arrived early, wearing a plain white t-shirt. He still wasn’t sure if he’d approach Chanyeol when he saw him. If he did, he’d just say he couldn’t find his jacket, or something like that.
Kyungsoo had decided to tell Baekhyun about the meeting, though he hadn’t invited him. Still, Kyungsoo wasn’t surprised when he went into the café and saw Baekhyun sitting at one of the window seats.
He was surprised to see Baekhyun wearing a green jacket.
“Why are you wearing that?!” Kyungsoo hissed, sliding in across from his friend.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s green!” Kyungsoo snapped. “I told you Chanyeol thinks I’ll be wearing a green jacket!”
Baekhyun’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, I completely forgot.”
“Take it off!”
“But I don’t really like the shirt I’m wearing underneath on its own-”
“Take it off!”
Baekhyun quickly shrugged out of his jacket.
“Now hide it in your bag!”
“I don’t have a bag!”
Kyungsoo looked around feverishly, trying to find somewhere Baekhyun could hide his jacket. That was when Kyungsoo heard the café door open behind him. Baekhyun’s eyes fixed on the person that walked in. “Oh crap.”
Kyungsoo couldn’t help himself, he turned and looked. There, standing just inside the café, was Chanyeol. He looked as tall as he’d said he was.
Chanyeol glanced around the café and his eyes landed on Baekhyun.
“Maybe he won’t come over.” Baekhyun whispered. “Maybe, since we’re together, he’ll think my jacket’s just a coincidence and-”
Chanyeol smiled and started walking over.
“Shit.” Baekhyun squeaked.
Chanyeol reached their table, his full attention on Baekhyun. “Hello. You must be my husband.”
Kyungsoo was startled by how deep his voice was. Not unpleasantly deep. Kyungsoo actually kind of liked it.
“Uh...” Baekhyun’s eyes darted from Chanyeol to Kyungsoo and back, “Not really...”
Chanyeol frowned, and Kyungsoo found the expression incredibly cute. “You aren’t my husband?”
Baekhyun slowly shook his head.
Still frowning, Chanyeol turned to look around the café. Not finding anyone else in a green jacket, he checked his phone, then started to text.
Kyungsoo’s heart sped up, but his phone didn’t ring or vibrate. It took him a moment to remember he’d silenced his phone earlier. Relief flooded him.
Chanyeol’s frown deepened and he walked away, up to the counter to place an order. Somehow, watching Chanyeol walk away tainted Kyungsoo’s relief.
Baekhyun turned back to his friend and mouthed ‘Oh my god’. Kyungsoo nodded at him, finding his gaze drawn back to Chanyeol, who was paying at the counter. When he was finished, Chanyeol carried his coffee to a table on the other side of the store.
“That was so weird!” Baekhyun said to Kyungsoo, “He just came right up to us! He didn’t hesitate at all!”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo said, still watching Chanyeol, who in turn was watching the door expectantly.
“He even came out and asked if I was his husband, like it was nothing! What if we didn’t actually know what was going on? That would be even weirder!”
“Yeah.”
“Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun said, trying to get his attention.
“Shh! What if he hears you say my name?!”
“So you don’t want him to know who you are?”
“Of course not!”
Baekhyun gave him an unconvinced look. “You’re staring at him like you want to introduce yourself.”
Kyungsoo blushed. “He’s my type, ok?”
“Creepy’s your type?”
“No! Look, I just feel bad about tricking him.” Kyungsoo said, then more quietly. “He is my husband.”
“Are you sure creepy isn’t your type?”
Kyungsoo glared at Baekhyun, then glanced over at Chanyeol again. He was still watching the door, but every few seconds he would check his phone. As discretely as he could, Kyungsoo pulled out his own phone and opened the message Chanyeol had sent him.
im here come to me
Kyungsoo bit his lip, unsure of what to do.
“Just message him back saying something came up and you have to cancel.” Baekhyun said.
“But that’s like standing him up!”
“Not really. Anyway, what’s the alternative? Actually stand him up and not tell him anything? Or,” Baekhyun added, “You could tell him everything. He’s right there.”
Kyungsoo thought about it a moment, nibbling his bottom lip. Then he said, “Maybe I should go speak to him.”
“Are you serious?! What if he turns into a crazy stalker! I was joking when I said you could tell him everything! He seems even creepier in person!”
“It’s the right thing to do.” Kyungsoo said.
“Are you insane?” Baekhyun hissed, but Kyungsoo was already walking away from the table.
Every step he took towards Chanyeol made Kyungsoo more and more nervous. Up until the last minute he still thought he’d turn around and rush back to his table. Somehow, he made it over to where Chanyeol was sitting. Chanyeol turned his attention from the door to Kyungsoo, giving him a questioning look.
“Uh...” Kyungsoo started, fighting the urge to wipe his sweaty palms off his jeans. “Hi. I’m your husband, Kyungsoo.”
Chanyeol blinked at him. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Chanyeol got up from his chair and stood in front of Kyungsoo. Just when Kyungsoo was wondering what was going on, Chanyeol went down on one knee in front of him. He pulled something out of his pocket and held it up for Kyungsoo. It was a ring.
“I’m sorry it’s late, husband.” Chanyeol said.
Kyungsoo gaped at him. Out of the corner of his eye he could see everyone in the café staring at them, and Baekhyun trying to hold back his laughter while he video-taped everything.
Embarrassed and startled and confused, Kyungsoo could only stare at Chanyeol.
“Will you take it... husband?” Chanyeol asked, sounding almost uncomfortable as his gaze darted from Kyungsoo to the people in the café.
More to take the attention off them than anything else, Kyungsoo took the ring from Chanyeol. “Um... thanks...”
Someone in the café applauded. Just one person. Then everyone went back to ignoring them.
Chanyeol got up, looking extremely relieved. “I’m so glad that’s over.”
Kyungsoo turned his attention from the cheap toy ring to Chanyeol, confused. “What?”
Chanyeol made a vague gesture between them, which explained nothing. Then he sighed and said, “Want to sit down?”
Puzzled, Kyungsoo sat, as did Chanyeol. They looked at each other a moment, then Chanyeol said, “So, um, I guess I should explain myself? You know, about the whole husband thing.”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo said. “That might help.”
“Ok.” Chanyeol ran a hand through his short hair, looking strained. He was quiet a moment longer, then seemed to get an idea. He pointed past Kyungsoo. “See that guy over there? His hair is dyed pink.”
Kyungsoo glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, there was a boy with pink hair at a table not too far from them. He had his phone out and was video-taping them just like Baekhyun. Seeing that Kyungsoo was looking at him, the boy grinned and waved.
“That’s my friend, Sehun.” Chanyeol said. “Friend on probation, I should say. You know that first message I sent you on dokidoki? Hi my husband? I did that because I lost a bet with Sehun. The loser had to do whatever the winner said, and he decided I had to do that. He also said I had to keep up the husband charade until the other person stopped talking to me, or until I could get them to accept a ring, so we’d be ‘officially’ married.”
It took Kyungsoo a minute to process all of this. He was surprised- really surprised- and annoyed at being fooled. But more than that, he felt a little sad.
In the end, all he could say was: “Oh.”
Seeing his expression, Chanyeol quickly went on, “I didn’t think it would get this far. I thought you’d stop talking to me... but you didn’t. Actually, that made me kind of happy. Even though I was saying such weird stuff you were still nice to me, and you even went along with it a little. I really appreciated that and... I kind of had fun talking to you, even if I wasn’t really being myself. Basically, I’m sorry for involving you in this.”
“That’s ok.” Kyungsoo said, even though it wasn’t. Not at all. Leaving the ring on the table, Kyungsoo started to get up.
“You’re going already?” Chanyeol asked.
“Yeah.” Was all Kyungsoo could manage in reply.
Even though Kyungsoo had known all along it could be a big joke- and had at one point hoped it was, since that would make it a bit less creepy- he still felt hurt. Really hurt. And not just because he’d been fooled, but because maybe for a moment he’d thought there was some hope that this creepy relationship would turn into a relatively normal relationship, and that he’d finally have some romance in his life. But he’d been wrong.
“Wait.” Chanyeol said, reaching over to grab Kyungsoo’s arm before he could leave. “I... I really am sorry about this, but I did enjoy talking to you. And I’m glad you decided to meet with me today. I... well, I was hoping we could put the whole husband thing behind us and maybe go out for real sometime...?”
Kyungsoo stared at him, “Are you actually asking me on a date after all that?”
Chanyeol winced a little. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Is this part of your bet too?”
“No. No way, I swear it’s not. This is all me.”
Kyungsoo watched him a moment longer, then looked at Chanyeol’s hand, which was still on his arm. Seeming to realize this, Chanyeol quickly pulled his hand back.
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol said again. “I shouldn’t have asked you that. You probably think I’m an even bigger jerk now.”
“Yeah. I do.” Kyungsoo said. “Breaking up with me after only three weeks. That’s definitely a jerk move.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You said you wanted to put the ‘husband thing’ behind us. That sounds like a break-up to me.” Kyungsoo suddenly snatched the toy ring off the table. “But I’m keeping this. And if anyone asks, I’m saying it was a mutual decision. Or I broke up with you.”
Chanyeol blinked at him a moment longer, then slowly started to smile. “Since you’re single now, can I ask you out?”
Kyungsoo shrugged. “Only if you treat.”
“It’s the least I can do. Are you busy at the moment?”
Kyungsoo shook his head so Chanyeol got up, taking his coffee with him. About to go over and tell Baekhyun he was leaving, Kyungsoo stopped when he saw his friend sitting with Chanyeol’s friend. The two were laughing and seemed to be comparing the videos they’d taken on their phones.
“That’s your friend?” Chanyeol asked.
“Yeah. He’s the one that introduced me to dokidoki. He met his past five boyfriends that way.”
“They’ll get along, then.” Chanyeol said. “Sehun met his current boyfriend on dokidoki too. Some Chinese guy called Luhan.”
“Oh really? That’s the same name as the guy Baekhyun’s dating.”
“Must be a common name over in China.”
“Probably.”
Chanyeol was still looking at Baekhyun and Sehun, “No offence, but I’m glad your friend wasn’t actually my husband.”
“Why?” Kyungsoo asked, curious.
“You’re cuter.” Chanyeol blushed a little, then quickly added, “I mean more handsome.”
Kyungsoo smiled. “I actually like being called cute.”
Chanyeol looked relieved. “In that case, you’re really, really cute. I’m lucky to have such a cute husband.”
“And I’m lucky my husband isn’t as creepy as I thought he was. He is, however, a cheapskate.”
“What? Why?”
Kyungsoo held up the ring. “Where did you get this? A cereal box?”
“I’ll make it up to you and treat you to a nice meal.”
“You better.” Kyungsoo said, then glancing at Chanyeol as they left the café. “Are you really 184 cm?”
Chanyeol pouted. “Husband doesn’t believe me?”
Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.
As they passed by the café window, Kyungsoo noticed Sehun and Baekhyun turned around in their chairs. The two were making hearts at them.
“They’re missing one.” Kyungsoo said.
“Huh?”
“You’d usually send me three hearts.” Kyungsoo said. “They only have two.”
When Chanyeol didn’t reply, Kyungsoo turned away from the café to look at him. Chanyeol was grinning goofily, his fingers put together to form a heart which he raised up for Kyungsoo.
Unable to keep from smiling, Kyungsoo said, “That’s more like it, husband.”
A/N: This is actually based off something that happened to one of my friends. It was both funny and creepy. Also, thanks again for beta-reading and editing bling-min.