29. - in denial, fixed.
Title: 29. - in denial
Pairing: Snape/Hermione
Rating: G
Categories: Drama, Angst
Summary: How to move on when you lost someone you never really met.
Notes: This is really one of the most sad things I've ever written. I have never experienced this myself, but I wanted to try this and see if it worked. Hopefully, I've done a decent job.
I typed this out. sorry about not being able to read the scanned images. I booboo'd. :D
It had been 3 days, 4 hours, and 56 minutes since she lay on the cool tile floor in the bathroom in a puddle of watery fluid, veined with blood.
It had been 3 days, 4 hours and 47 minutes since she realized things were terribly wrong and her cries echoed off the cool grey walls and into the ears of her husband.
It had been 3 days, 3 hours and 22 minutes since she clutched the sweat soaked sheets in her clammy fists, gritting her jaw, tears streaming into her mouth, pushing against the grim faces.
It had been 3 days, 3 hours, and 18 minutes since she strained her ears, heart thumping erratically, for the baby's cry that never came among the sharp, biting voices.
3 days, 3 hours, 15 minutes and 8 seconds later she realized a part of her heart was never coming back, and she went numb.
***
It had been 3 days and he watched her as he leaned against the door opening. She was curled into a ball under the quilt, even though the summer heat had permeated the dungeon, making the air humid and cloying. Frankly, he was at a loss. He walked over to her still form and kissed her on the forehead.
"I will be back later," he said. "Sleep well, love." He placed another vial of Dreamless sleep on her side table, knowing full well she wouldn't take it. Resigned, he left.
***
3 more days, 3 more nights, 3 more untouched vials.
The seventh day, he bridged the gap.
"I need to know," he said evenly, "if the Hermione I married is still there."
She had been staring for 45 minutes at the same page in the alchemy magazine she had propped up on her lap. Slowly, she raised her head and looked at him blankly.
"Don't be silly," she replied woodenly, before dropping her gaze. "Nothing has changed."
"Everything has changed," he replied.
"No, it has not," she said, gritting her teeth.
"I miss her too. when she died, a part of you did as well, and I can bear to lose my wife. I am not that strong." His voice cracked. It was the first time either of them had mentioned what had happened out loud. Their baby died. She wasn't coming back.
Hermione's face crumpled, and she started to sob, body shaking, dealing with a pain, a loss that no person was ever meant to handle. He held on to his wife and cried as well, mourning for their child, and the unjust cruelty life had played against them. It was especially more so that with magic on medicine's side, nothing could have saved her.
"How do we fix this?" she sobbed. "I don't want to hurt anymore."
"I know," he said. "I know."
An angel opened the book of life
and wrote down my baby's birth
Then she whispered as she closed the book
"too beautiful for Earth."
***
Feedback is appreciated. :)
I am not a mother, and have never been pregnant, and have never experienced this kind of loss. However, there are many supports in place for mothers and fathers of stillborn babies. This website has very helpful info.
www.stillbirth-support.com
Pairing: Snape/Hermione
Rating: G
Categories: Drama, Angst
Summary: How to move on when you lost someone you never really met.
Notes: This is really one of the most sad things I've ever written. I have never experienced this myself, but I wanted to try this and see if it worked. Hopefully, I've done a decent job.
I typed this out. sorry about not being able to read the scanned images. I booboo'd. :D
It had been 3 days, 4 hours, and 56 minutes since she lay on the cool tile floor in the bathroom in a puddle of watery fluid, veined with blood.
It had been 3 days, 4 hours and 47 minutes since she realized things were terribly wrong and her cries echoed off the cool grey walls and into the ears of her husband.
It had been 3 days, 3 hours and 22 minutes since she clutched the sweat soaked sheets in her clammy fists, gritting her jaw, tears streaming into her mouth, pushing against the grim faces.
It had been 3 days, 3 hours, and 18 minutes since she strained her ears, heart thumping erratically, for the baby's cry that never came among the sharp, biting voices.
3 days, 3 hours, 15 minutes and 8 seconds later she realized a part of her heart was never coming back, and she went numb.
***
It had been 3 days and he watched her as he leaned against the door opening. She was curled into a ball under the quilt, even though the summer heat had permeated the dungeon, making the air humid and cloying. Frankly, he was at a loss. He walked over to her still form and kissed her on the forehead.
"I will be back later," he said. "Sleep well, love." He placed another vial of Dreamless sleep on her side table, knowing full well she wouldn't take it. Resigned, he left.
***
3 more days, 3 more nights, 3 more untouched vials.
The seventh day, he bridged the gap.
"I need to know," he said evenly, "if the Hermione I married is still there."
She had been staring for 45 minutes at the same page in the alchemy magazine she had propped up on her lap. Slowly, she raised her head and looked at him blankly.
"Don't be silly," she replied woodenly, before dropping her gaze. "Nothing has changed."
"Everything has changed," he replied.
"No, it has not," she said, gritting her teeth.
"I miss her too. when she died, a part of you did as well, and I can bear to lose my wife. I am not that strong." His voice cracked. It was the first time either of them had mentioned what had happened out loud. Their baby died. She wasn't coming back.
Hermione's face crumpled, and she started to sob, body shaking, dealing with a pain, a loss that no person was ever meant to handle. He held on to his wife and cried as well, mourning for their child, and the unjust cruelty life had played against them. It was especially more so that with magic on medicine's side, nothing could have saved her.
"How do we fix this?" she sobbed. "I don't want to hurt anymore."
"I know," he said. "I know."
An angel opened the book of life
and wrote down my baby's birth
Then she whispered as she closed the book
"too beautiful for Earth."
***
Feedback is appreciated. :)
I am not a mother, and have never been pregnant, and have never experienced this kind of loss. However, there are many supports in place for mothers and fathers of stillborn babies. This website has very helpful info.
www.stillbirth-support.com