Kurt/Blaine: This Side (10/12)
Title: This Side (10/12)
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: NC-17 overall.
Word Count: ~4300
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: None unless you count ridiculous amounts of Blaine's inner dialogue.
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been best friends since the day Kurt stopped Blaine on the stairs at Dalton, but never anything more. This is why Blaine is more than a little shocked when Kurt suggests that they lose their virginity to one another before they head off to New York for college.
A/N: I started planning this fic before Season 3 happened, so nothing from Season 3 is canon except that Blaine is at McKinley, but that was my own planning, not RIB's. :P You could say that this is canon up through Sexy. Sorry if you hate WIPs, but a new chapter will be posted every Thursday.
Blaine was dawdling through his day. He trudged down the halls, letting the toes of his shoes stutter and catch on the tile. He took more time than necessary washing his hands and opening his locker. He chewed his food in slow motion. By the time he got to rehearsal, he wasn’t in the mood to sing or dance or do anything other than maybe take a nap. Kurt kept looking at him with a raised eyebrow and had mouthed the words ‘Are you okay?’ to him more than once, to which Blaine had nodded and waved a breezily dismissive hand.
Because he was okay. He didn’t know why he was crawling through the hours like a sloth shot with a tranquilizer dart, but he was. So he stopped for a double espresso on his way to Kurt’s house and sucked it down quickly during the short drive between the Lima Bean and the Hudson-Hummel residence. The fact that his skin was buzzing and his heart was pattering against his ribs when he rang the doorbell had nothing to do with the sudden jolt of caffeine, though.
It was a big day.
A really big day.
Everything they’d been doing so far had been amazing. Wonderful. Sexy. Perfect. And now here they were, two times away from being done. It had been decided that they would take two days for this final step. It made sense logistically and Blaine had breathed a sigh of relief when Kurt had suggested it in the first place because well, it was going to extend the entire thing for another day and there was nothing bad about that.
As Blaine waited for Kurt to answer the door, he tapped his toes inside his shoes and stuffed his trembling hands into his pockets. He didn’t know what he was so nervous about. They’d already done everything but this, so why did this feel so huge?
Because it was.
Soon, either he was going to be inside of Kurt or Kurt was going to be inside of him. Not just fingers or tongues, either. This was as physically close as two people could be and they were about to do it together. Pun intended.
When Kurt pulled open the door, his eyebrows were furrowed and he pulled in a deep breath through his lungs.
“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked as he stepped inside.
“I’d like to ask you the same thing,” Kurt countered. “You’ve been acting like a zombie all day.” Blaine sighed and followed Kurt up the stairs, staring at Kurt’s ass the whole way. He couldn’t help it. His eyes had been pulled there often enough before he’d seen it naked and knew how it felt and tasted and he really needed to stop thinking about that so he could respond to Kurt’s statement.
“I’m just dragging a little today. It’s no big deal. I got some espresso on the way over,” Blaine explained, reaching for Kurt’s hand once they were inside his bedroom with the door closed.
“Are you sure that you haven’t just changed your mind about this?” Blaine couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“Change my mind? Are you insane?” Blaine asked, smoothing a hand over Kurt’s cheek before settling it in to rest on the side of his neck, his thumb trailing over Kurt’s jaw.
“Probably,” Kurt replied softly, raising his eyes to look into Blaine’s, searching them. Of what Blaine wasn’t sure, but Kurt’s definitely looking for something in his eyes. So Blaine made sure to pour every ounce of assurance into his gaze that he could, letting Kurt know that he wanted to do this so badly.
“Kurt, I want to do this with you. I want this,” Blaine murmured before pulling Kurt down for a kiss. It wasn’t returned immediately, but within seconds Kurt was melting against him and tracing his tongue across Blaine’s lower lip. Strong fingers slid up Blaine’s arms, gripping onto his biceps and squeezing hard as Blaine brushed his tongue against the tip of Kurt’s, sending his toes curling into the soles of his shoes as he pressed up onto his tiptoes, trying to get closer.
Why did Kurt have to be taller than him? Granted, most of the time he kind of loved that Kurt was taller, but in moments like these when all he wanted was to be face-to-face but the reality was craning necks and challenges to the stability of one’s tiptoes, it was actually rather frustrating.
“Bed,” Kurt said between kisses, guiding Blaine in the right direction as his fingers pulled Blaine’s shirt untucked and immediately pressed his fingers into the sensitive skin just above the waistband of his pants. Blaine hummed in agreement and smiled against Kurt’s lips as the backs of his legs collided with the edge of the mattress.
“So,” Blaine said, pulling back to avoid Kurt’s next kiss. “Quarter?”
It wasn’t that he wasn’t enjoying what they were doing, but they needed to know how thing were going to go that afternoon in order for everything to appropriately progress. If Blaine was going to top, things would go differently than if Kurt was going to. As much as he hated to interrupt, they just needed to know.
“Right,” Kurt said, his voice distant like he’d just been shaken out of a daze. “Do you want to do the honors today?”
“Sure,” Blaine smiled. He walked the couple of steps to Kurt’s bedside table and pulled open the drawer. The sight of the condoms inside made his stomach flood with heat and want. They were actually going to use one of those today.
Wow.
But instead of allowing himself to be further distracted by those little plastic packets filled with latex and the promise of sex and orgasms and nothing between their naked, panting bodies but sweat and come, he picked up the quarter from beside the lube and sat down on the bed.
“Tails I top first, heads and you do,” Blaine said, swallowing hard as he moved the quarter into position on his thumbnail. Kurt nodded and climbed onto the bed, curling his legs beneath himself as he watched on.
Blaine propelled the quarter into the air with a sharp flick of his thumb, easily catching it in his palm and slapping it onto the back of his left hand. Kurt leaned in, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as Blaine slowly lifted his hand.
There was the state of New York looking up at him. Okay, so he was going to… okay, he could do this. His cock was going to be inside of Kurt. He was going to be inside of Kurt. This was really happening. And not at some far-off point in the future, but now.
Blaine dropped the quarter to the floor and crawled onto Kurt’s lap, gently resting his weight on folded thighs and sighing contentedly as their lips brushed together lightly. The air was heavy around them, laced with anticipation and no sound but the thumpthump of his own heart and the breaths they took as they kissed differently than they ever had before. It wasn’t about making out or getting turned on at the moment. All Blaine wanted was to show Kurt that he was going to do his very best to make this so good for him.
“Blaine,” Kurt said, not really a moan or a question or anything really. Kurt was just saying his name a little breathlessly, but mostly sounding as if he just wanted to say it.
Blaine pressed one more soft kiss to Kurt’s lips before pulling back and peeling Kurt’s snug navy and cream striped shirt up his torso. As soon as it was tossed to the foot of the bed, Blaine paused and carefully mapped out every inch of Kurt’s bare skin with his fingers. From the back of his neck to the crook of his elbow, Blaine touched Kurt everywhere, submitting every feeling, every muscle, every little inhalation and exhalation Kurt made to memory. There would only be one more time of this and then everything would go back to the way it had been. Kurt wouldn’t be his to touch anymore.
A heaviness settled in over Blaine’s chest, slowly descending like morning fog, and he blinked hard a few times before leaning in and pressing a kiss just above Kurt’s heart. Kurt sucked in a deep breath and reached down to cradle Blaine’s face in both hands, pulling his face back up and staring so intently into his eyes that Blaine really just wished that he had the ability to read minds so he could know what Kurt was thinking.
Was he nervous? Was he bored with what Blaine was doing? Did he want to back out and not go through with his?
“Are you sure?” Blaine asked, his fingertips walking over Kurt’s abs as Kurt continued to gently hold his head still.
“Yes,” Kurt said after just a moment’s pause and before Blaine had the chance to ask any questions, Kurt was moving in for a kiss.
This one was more like the others had been-all sliding tongues and sucking lips, moans and hands grappling for whatever skin they could reach. It was starting to feel a little desperate in the best kind of way, like they wanted to meld together, unable to get close enough.
But soon they’d be able to. Soon, they’d finally be close enough and it was going to be wonderful.
Blaine let Kurt take off his shirt before he urged Kurt onto his back, kissing down the perfect torso in front of him as he worked off Kurt’s pants and briefs-dark gray and so sexy Blaine honestly considered stealing them for just a moment. But then he took in Kurt lying there fully naked, hard, and waiting for him and he forgot all about his momentary thoughts of petty theft.
“You are so perfect, Kurt,” Blaine whispered, dragging his hands up the outsides of Kurt’s thighs, his fingers trailing through the hair there before he bent and pressed a kiss to the front of each. Kurt didn’t respond, just swallowed hard and curled his fingers into the sheets below him. As quickly as he could, Blaine pushed off his pants and boxer briefs and reached in the drawer for the lube and-holy shit-a condom.
Setting them off to the side, he climbed on top of Kurt, lowering himself until their lips and cocks were pressed together, pulling a simultaneous moan from each of their chests before Kurt started rocking his hips up. Blaine let Kurt lead the force of their thrusts against each other as he continued to explore Kurt’s mouth with his tongue, paying extra special attention to the roof of his mouth and the little whimpering noises Kurt made whenever he lightly trailed over the ridges just behind his front teeth.
“Blaine,” Kurt breathed out, wrenching his lips away and panting as he continued to rut against Blaine. “Please.”
Blaine mouthed momentarily at the side of Kurt’s neck, tonguing over the soft skin and loving the way Kurt wriggled at the sensation. Kurt tasted wonderful, every inch of him, and Blaine was definitely going to take advantage of these last few chances to taste. Curling a hand around Kurt’s cock, Blaine slowly dragged his fist up and down the length as he again kissed his way down Kurt’s body, paying special attention to all the places that made Kurt moan and thrust up hard into the circle of Blaine’s fingers.
God, what if this was the last chance he had to do all of these things? What if he never again got to suck Kurt’s cock? To touch him like this? Next time would be different and he had no idea what it would bring.
A lump formed in Blaine’s throat as he pressed a kiss to the side of Kurt’s cock and lightly trailed his tongue over the tip, a ripple of pleasure curling down his spine at the taste of precome and Kurt. He couldn’t help himself. He needed to do this again.
Steadying Kurt’s cock with one hand, he sunk his mouth over the length, going farther than he had yet. When the tip bumped against the back of Blaine’s throat, he expected to gag, but he didn’t. The noise that came from Kurt’s mouth was like nothing Blaine had ever heard before, not even in porn. It was so animalistic, so ridiculously fucking sexy that all Blaine could do was pull off before he came all over himself at the sound.
“That was… I…” Kurt attempted, obviously at a loss for words.
Though Blaine missed the feeling of Kurt’s cock filling his mouth, he knew that he had to keep going. So he picked up the lube and applied some to his fingers, warming it as he peppered light kisses to Kurt’s hips, balls, and cock.
“Knees up,” Blaine asked softly before sucking one of Kurt’s balls into his mouth. Kurt made a strange little grunting sound as he complied that Blaine would have smiled at had his mouth not been otherwise engaged as Blaine started to rub circles around Kurt’s asshole.
It wasn’t long until Kurt was begging for more and Blaine was helpless to deny him at that point. The resistance around his finger as he pushed inside was so much that his brain short-circuited a bit at the thought of what it was going to feel like around his cock, but mostly, he just wanted to make sure that everything felt wonderful for Kurt. He again took Kurt in his mouth as he slowly worked his middle finger in and out of Kurt’s ass until he knew Kurt was ready for a second. He massaged Kurt’s prostate and let his mouth sink fully over Kurt’s cock over and over, loving the way it felt when Kurt was in as deep as he could get him. By the time he’d worked up to three fingers, Kurt was writhing and Blaine’s jaw was getting sore and his cock was painfully hard and dripping precome on the sheets.
“Blaine, I’m ready,” Kurt breathed out, his fingers death-gripped in Blaine’s hair and his voice desperate.
“Okay,” Blaine nodded, his sight a little blurry and his heart hammering in his chest as he gently pulled his fingers from Kurt’s body and rose to a kneeling position.
His fingers trembled as he picked up the condom from the sheets and by the time he’d ripped open the package, they were shaking so hard he didn’t think he was going to be able to put it on without ripping the damned thing somehow.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kurt asked concernedly, bringing his legs in to press against Blaine’s in a way that succeeded in grounding Blaine.
“I’m great,” Blaine said, his voice tight as he took a deep breath and rolled the condom onto his cock with significantly steadier hands. Even that light preparatory touch was enough to make him bite back a moan. His poor cock had been hard and ready for so long that coating it in lube was almost enough to push him over the edge.
“I trust you,” Kurt told him, reaching for Blaine’s hand and giving it a squeeze, his gaze flitting down Blaine’s body and training on Blaine’s condom-covered cock for just a moment before raising again.
“I read that it’s easier to be on all fours, but I would really like to be face-to-face. Unless you really wanted to-“
“No, face-to-face is good,” Kurt rushed to interject. “I would definitely prefer that.”
“Good,” Blaine smiled. “Okay, I’m going to…” There was no sense in finishing the statement. They were both well aware of what Blaine was about to do.
Blaine spread his knees a bit wider beneath Kurt’s raised legs as he leaned forward with one hand planted firmly on the mattress beside Kurt’s ribs. With the other hand, he held his cock firmly-god it felt weird with a condom on it-and lightly dragged it up and down Kurt’s asscrack a few times before pressing the head against Kurt’s entrance.
The way Kurt was looking at him made Blaine tremble, his thighs quivering as he moved forward. He was trying so hard to be gentle, but when he pushed past the tight rings of muscle, it took every ounce of his self-restraint not to just thrust.
Being inside of Kurt was undeniably the most magnificent thing Blaine had ever felt. Actually, he was fairly certain that it was the best thing any person had ever felt in the entirety of human history. The tightness around his cock was unreal and he forgot to breathe for a very long time until he started to feel dizzy from lack of oxygen and restraint.
“You can move,” Kurt choked out, his own face red and a little scrunched up.
“Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” Blaine asked, easing his other hand onto the mattress and balancing out his weight on both arms.
“No,” Kurt said, “Well, yes but only in the way that’s to be expected. I’ll be okay, just move, please?” Blaine nodded because he got it. No amount of prep with three fingers was going to be the same as a cock.
As he inhaled loudly, Blaine thrust in about an inch before slowly pulling out, the tight, hot drag of the motion just about making his eyes roll back in his head. Everything was so hot--his skin, Kurt’s ass, the place on his forearms where Kurt was holding on tightly. His head was swirling as each little thrust he made buried more of his cock in the perfectness of Kurt’s ass.
“You feel… this is so…” Blaine tried to get out but failed miserably. He wanted to say so many things, but all he could do was stare down at Kurt and wish that they could be closer. The angle wasn’t right for it, though, and at least it was better than staring at Kurt’s back. Not that that wouldn’t have its own merits, but still. This was definitely better.
After what felt like an eternity of bliss, Blaine felt himself slide in as far as he could go and he stilled.
“How’re you doing?” he asked.
“Kiss me,” Kurt said, carefully heaving himself up onto his elbows as Blaine ducked down to press their lips together. As Kurt slid his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, Blaine pulled back until just the head of his cock was still inside and then he made a full thrust in. Kurt’s head dropped back with a moan and Blaine took advantage of the angle to lick over Kurt’s Adam’s apple.
“You feel like heaven,” Blaine moaned, already feeling the pressure in his balls building. It was just so much. He angled his thrusts up a bit more, until Kurt was choking out a moan and gripping so hard onto his arms that it actually hurt a little.
“Oh god, Blaine. Right there,” he managed to say as his hips rocked a little harder to match Blaine thrust for thrust.
A surge of pride and warmth spread through Blaine’s chest as he watched Kurt’s face slacken into a look of unfiltered pleasure, his mouth open and curling up at the corners, his eyes shut, his cheeks flushed. Wanting nothing more than to add to Kurt’s pleasure, Blaine shifted his weight until he could lift one of his hands and lick it before wrapping it around Kurt’s half hard cock, stroking it and spreading around precome until his hand slid easily up and down the shaft. Kurt dropped his hands to the mattress and opened his eyes, his pupils wide as he looked up at Blaine.
He was the most beautiful thing Blaine had ever seen.
It hit him then in the same kind of surprising yet terrifying way big things often do-suddenly and seemingly out the blue--but when one really thinks about it, it’s really not so sudden after all.
Blaine’s thrusts slowed until he was stilled inside of Kurt, his hand still curled around Kurt’s cock but no longer moving.
“What’s wrong?” Kurt asked breathlessly, panting a little. Blaine felt Kurt’s cock twitch in his hand and yet at the moment he couldn’t feel bad about stopping everything in the middle of sex because all he could think about was one thing.
“Nothing,” Blaine said, his voice sounding a mile away inside his own head, his breath caught in his throat when all he wanted to say after that was: “I’m in love with you.” But he couldn’t. This wasn’t supposed to be about that. That was the reason why they were doing this-because they weren’t in love with each other but they trusted one another implicitly. Because they were best friends.
This was complicated and messy and god, how long had he really felt this way? How long had he loved Kurt but had been too blind to realize? Too stupid to see?
His eyes shut for just a second and he took a steadying breath, trying to ignore the distractingly amazing feeling of Kurt’s ass around his cock and the warm hardness of Kurt’s cock in his hand.
“Blaine, what are you thinking?” Kurt asked, his voice now surprisingly steady.
“I…” Blaine started, his mouth hanging open as he opened his eyes and took in Kurt below him. Around him. Surrounding him in every way possible-mind and body.
“You what?” Kurt asked, smoothing a hand over Blaine’s forearm.
God, Blaine wanted to say it so badly, but Kurt didn’t feel the same way-he’d been the one to suggest the arrangement, after all-and saying it mid-sex would be the worst thing he could possibly do. It was going to make Kurt uncomfortable and then everything would be over, because that had been the agreement from the beginning.
Blaine swallowed hard and the words that spilled from his lips weren’t a lie, but they were far from the whole truth. “I’m just getting really close and needed a second.”
Kurt pressed his lips together and nodded. Blaine knew that Kurt didn’t buy it, but soon enough, he was moving his hips again and Kurt was moaning and he was moaning and it made it easier for Blaine to focus on the task at hand.
Every few thrusts, he angled just right so that Kurt was digging his head back into the mattress and calling out Blaine’s name in a way that shoved Blaine closer to the edge with each declaration. Kurt was absolutely stunning beneath him, the way his muscles moved as he rolled his hips, the way he’d peek out just the very tip of his tongue to wet his lips, the way his asshole was stroking Blaine’s cock so perfectly that Blaine honestly didn’t know how he was ever going to go back to jerking off after feeling this.
“Blaine, I’m so close,” Kurt whimpered, his knuckles turning white from his grip on the sheets.
“I’ve got you,” Blaine whispered, bending as he increased the speed of his hand on Kurt’s cock, twisting it the way Kurt liked and waiting for Kurt to lean up to kiss him. But he didn’t.
Blaine shut his eyes to the picture of perfection beneath him and allowed himself to get lost in the feeling. Each thrust stirred the pulling, twisting lust in his belly tighter and tighter. The urge to thrust harder was huge, but Blaine couldn’t let himself. This was about Kurt and making it good for him.
Just when Blaine thought that he couldn’t wait another second to come, Kurt cried out loudly just as Blaine stroked over his prostate, his asshole clenching tightly onto Blaine’s cock as he came all over Blaine’s fist and his own stomach. The feeling of Kurt gripping onto him so hard was all Blaine needed. His hips snapped forward as he gave out a whining moan, coming so hard he forgot to breathe. Everything was warm and quiet, the rhythmic pulsing in his cock accompanied by the feeling of Kurt still randomly tightening around him as he worked through his own orgasm.
Neither of them said anything, just breathed. Blaine was afraid to look at Kurt, terrified that he was going to blurt out that he loved him just like he had previously mid-orgasm. God, his subconscious had known before he had.
“We can’t do this again,” Kurt said softly. Even though Blaine had known the same thing deep down inside, it hurt coming from Kurt. Kurt knew that someone was wrong. Blaine had made him uncomfortable, and even though he’d known that he couldn’t continue on with next week without severely betraying Kurt’s trust, it still felt like a punch in the gut.
“I know,” Blaine replied, finally opening his eyes and looking down at Kurt. Kurt wasn’t looking at him, though. His head was dropped off to the side, the back of his hand pressed against his mouth. He looked like he was going to cry. “Kurt.”
“Please don’t,” Kurt said. “I think you should go.”
“If that’s what you want.” Kurt let out a bitter little laugh and winced as Blaine gently pulled out. “Can you just… can you tell me if it was good for you?”
“The sex was great,” Kurt said. Blaine tried not to flinch and just nodded but Kurt didn’t see because once again, Kurt was looking away.
He threw away the condom and pulled on his clothes as fast as he could while Kurt just lay there staring at the wall. When he was dressed and ready to go, Blaine opened his mouth to speak but all that wanted to come out was I love you, so he just left.