Kurt/Blaine: Five Awkward Encounters and One Totally Awesome One 3/4 (R)
Title: Five Awkward Encounters and One Totally Awesome One: 3/4
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: R (this part)
Word Count: 1,237
Spoilers: Up through "Original Song"
Warnings: Discussion about sex
Summary: Kurt and Blaine can't seem to catch a break, because everyone seems to have decided to make their day as awkward as possible.
Notes: This is Part 3 of a three now FOUR part series (Sorry, this just won't end! I hope nobody minds me bumping it up to 4 parts!). Another appropriate title could be "Worst Day Ever." Part of the (Mis)Adventures of Teenage Boys 'verse. Takes place after Punishment.
When the final bell of the day rang, Kurt would have skipped out of the room with excitement had he not been so excruciatingly mortified. So, he settled for stalking out, Blaine hot on his heels. As he rushed past a trophy case, he caught his reflection, prompting him to huff and hurry even more. A hideous red tint had permanently taken up residence on his cheeks, and only two days of being far away from this hell hole would make it go away.
"I know that you're giving me the silent treatment right now, but your dad invited me to your Friday night dinner. Am I still coming?" Blaine asked, rushing to fall in step beside Kurt.
"Of course," Kurt replied, looking slightly affronted, "Unless you don't want to."
"I want to. Very much," Blaine said, taking a risk and reaching for Kurt's hand. Making sure to don his most disinterested look, he accepted Blaine's advance. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Blaine smirking. He wanted to be annoyed, but his boyfriend was just too cute. The bastard.
"Well, it's the least you can do after how your little comment made today infinitely worse than it already was."
"What just happened in rehearsal was not that big of a deal. Not compared to what happened with Miss Pillsbury and with Brittany and Santana."
"Blaine, Mr. Schuester had a talk with the Glee club specifically because of the songs that we did yesterday."
"Really can't blame him for that," Finn added as he joined them on their trek across the parking lot. Kurt scowled at him and aggressively yanked open the driver's door. Finn took the backseat like he always did when Blaine was with them, and he carelessly tossed his backpack into the back. It hit one of the windows, and Kurt cringed at the sound. "I'm so glad this week is over."
"Unless you've had the week that Blaine and I have had, you do not get to celebrate," Kurt told him.
"What's up with you?" Finn asked.
"It's been a really long day," Kurt said, climbing in and immediately smacking Blaine's hand as he reached for the stereo, "I need Gaga right now."
"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic about this, Kurt?" Blaine asked, clearly trying not to smile.
"Have you met me?" Kurt sassed, turning up the volume as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"Ooo! Hand sanitizer!" Finn exclaimed from the backseat, "AH! Not hand sanitizer!"
"What is it?" Blaine asked, turning in his seat to look.
"KY Jelly. What is this doing back here? Oh my god. You guys have sex back here!"
"It's my car, Finn. If I want to have sex with my boyfriend in here, I will," Kurt snapped. Blaine smiled nervously and took the bottle from Finn’s outstretched and shaking hand.
"But I sit back here all the time!" Finn exclaimed, lifting up into an awkward squatting position that had to be killing his legs.
"Relax. We always put a blanket down." Finn looked around, and when his eyes grazed over the open back of the Navigator, his mouth dropped open and he went lunging over the back of the seat. A resounding thunk sounded as his head smacked into roof from his lumbering, awkward movements.
"That blanket?" he asked, his voice rising, "My backpack was on it!"
"Oh my god, Finn! It's not like it has come all over it right now!"
"GAH!" He dropped his backpack and tumbled back onto the seat as he slapped his hands over his ears.
"I always wash it after we're finished."
"Stop!"
"Which is at least four times a week," Kurt added, not missing the fact that Blaine was watching the entire encounter with rapt, thoroughly entertained attention. All he was missing was a tub of popcorn and a giant screen in front of him.
"Seriously!"
"It's not my fault that my boyfriend can move his tongue in ways that should be illegal."
"Why are you saying these things?!" Finn demanded, now yelling.
"Because I've HAD A BAD DAY, FINN!" Kurt raised his voice, fully shouting back now, "And since you were the one to start it, making you uncomfortable is making me feel better."
"What did I do?"
"You tried to have some weird bumbling sex talk with me on the way to school this morning. Which was just how I wanted to start my day, by the way. And then Brittany and Santana asked if they could watch Blaine and I have sex some time, and-"
"Why do Brittany and Santana want to watch you have sex?" Finn blurted, his face completely horrified in the rear view mirror. Kurt narrowed his eyes, fueled on even more by the interruption.
"Then Miss Pillsbury brought us into her office to make sure that Blaine and I are being 'mature' about our 'sexual relations', and-"
"She what?"
"Stop interrupting me," Kurt spat, "And then Mr. Schue had that talk with us in Glee-“
"What you two did was super inappropriate." It was official. Kurt was going to murder him. Sometime in the near future, when he least expected it, Kurt would murder his step-brother and feel absolutely no remorse or guilt about it. He took a deep breath, preparing to finish his train of thought no matter what idiocy erupted from Finn's mouth.
"So, the last thing that I need right now is you freaking out over some GOD DAMNED KY JELLY AND A CLEAN BLANKET IN THE BACK OF MY CAR!"
"Well I just picked it up and it's something that you guys use in the middle of having sex. Now, do you have some real hand sanitizer, because after touching that, I think I need some."
"OH MY GOD. JUST SHUT UP, FINN. JUST. SHUT. UP!" Kurt shrieked, beating one hand against the steering wheel as he drove while Finn continued his hysterical, nervous babbling from the backseat, something about ‘Why are you yelling at me so much?’
“You need to relax, dude!” Finn finally managed to articulate in amongst Kurt’s screams.
“No, what I need is for you to stop letting every moronic thought in your head spill out without provocation. I need to listen to precisely two Lady Gaga songs between here and home. I need to forget that today ever happened, and I need for Blaine to stop staring at me like that!” Kurt ranted, turning his attention over to his boyfriend as he slowed to a stop at a red light.
“You are so adorable when you’re angry,” Blaine said, leaning over the console only to find himself held at arm’s length by Kurt.
“No, I’m still mad at you.” Blaine wrapped a hand around Kurt’s forearm to pull it away so he could sneak closer.
"So sexy," he murmured before placing a quick, sloppy kiss on Kurt's cheek. Kurt reached forward and twisted one of Blaine's nipples hard through the thin fabric of his shirt to get him to move back into his own seat and out of Kurt's bubble of comfort. "Come on, babe, you know that's only going to make me try harder." Kurt didn't miss the special emphasis that Blaine placed on that last word, and apparently Finn didn't either. He groaned loudly and shoved an index finger in each of his ears and shut his eyes.
"I so need an iPod," he grumbled.
Part Four
Master Fic List
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: R (this part)
Word Count: 1,237
Spoilers: Up through "Original Song"
Warnings: Discussion about sex
Summary: Kurt and Blaine can't seem to catch a break, because everyone seems to have decided to make their day as awkward as possible.
Notes: This is Part 3 of a three now FOUR part series (Sorry, this just won't end! I hope nobody minds me bumping it up to 4 parts!). Another appropriate title could be "Worst Day Ever." Part of the (Mis)Adventures of Teenage Boys 'verse. Takes place after Punishment.
When the final bell of the day rang, Kurt would have skipped out of the room with excitement had he not been so excruciatingly mortified. So, he settled for stalking out, Blaine hot on his heels. As he rushed past a trophy case, he caught his reflection, prompting him to huff and hurry even more. A hideous red tint had permanently taken up residence on his cheeks, and only two days of being far away from this hell hole would make it go away.
"I know that you're giving me the silent treatment right now, but your dad invited me to your Friday night dinner. Am I still coming?" Blaine asked, rushing to fall in step beside Kurt.
"Of course," Kurt replied, looking slightly affronted, "Unless you don't want to."
"I want to. Very much," Blaine said, taking a risk and reaching for Kurt's hand. Making sure to don his most disinterested look, he accepted Blaine's advance. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Blaine smirking. He wanted to be annoyed, but his boyfriend was just too cute. The bastard.
"Well, it's the least you can do after how your little comment made today infinitely worse than it already was."
"What just happened in rehearsal was not that big of a deal. Not compared to what happened with Miss Pillsbury and with Brittany and Santana."
"Blaine, Mr. Schuester had a talk with the Glee club specifically because of the songs that we did yesterday."
"Really can't blame him for that," Finn added as he joined them on their trek across the parking lot. Kurt scowled at him and aggressively yanked open the driver's door. Finn took the backseat like he always did when Blaine was with them, and he carelessly tossed his backpack into the back. It hit one of the windows, and Kurt cringed at the sound. "I'm so glad this week is over."
"Unless you've had the week that Blaine and I have had, you do not get to celebrate," Kurt told him.
"What's up with you?" Finn asked.
"It's been a really long day," Kurt said, climbing in and immediately smacking Blaine's hand as he reached for the stereo, "I need Gaga right now."
"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic about this, Kurt?" Blaine asked, clearly trying not to smile.
"Have you met me?" Kurt sassed, turning up the volume as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"Ooo! Hand sanitizer!" Finn exclaimed from the backseat, "AH! Not hand sanitizer!"
"What is it?" Blaine asked, turning in his seat to look.
"KY Jelly. What is this doing back here? Oh my god. You guys have sex back here!"
"It's my car, Finn. If I want to have sex with my boyfriend in here, I will," Kurt snapped. Blaine smiled nervously and took the bottle from Finn’s outstretched and shaking hand.
"But I sit back here all the time!" Finn exclaimed, lifting up into an awkward squatting position that had to be killing his legs.
"Relax. We always put a blanket down." Finn looked around, and when his eyes grazed over the open back of the Navigator, his mouth dropped open and he went lunging over the back of the seat. A resounding thunk sounded as his head smacked into roof from his lumbering, awkward movements.
"That blanket?" he asked, his voice rising, "My backpack was on it!"
"Oh my god, Finn! It's not like it has come all over it right now!"
"GAH!" He dropped his backpack and tumbled back onto the seat as he slapped his hands over his ears.
"I always wash it after we're finished."
"Stop!"
"Which is at least four times a week," Kurt added, not missing the fact that Blaine was watching the entire encounter with rapt, thoroughly entertained attention. All he was missing was a tub of popcorn and a giant screen in front of him.
"Seriously!"
"It's not my fault that my boyfriend can move his tongue in ways that should be illegal."
"Why are you saying these things?!" Finn demanded, now yelling.
"Because I've HAD A BAD DAY, FINN!" Kurt raised his voice, fully shouting back now, "And since you were the one to start it, making you uncomfortable is making me feel better."
"What did I do?"
"You tried to have some weird bumbling sex talk with me on the way to school this morning. Which was just how I wanted to start my day, by the way. And then Brittany and Santana asked if they could watch Blaine and I have sex some time, and-"
"Why do Brittany and Santana want to watch you have sex?" Finn blurted, his face completely horrified in the rear view mirror. Kurt narrowed his eyes, fueled on even more by the interruption.
"Then Miss Pillsbury brought us into her office to make sure that Blaine and I are being 'mature' about our 'sexual relations', and-"
"She what?"
"Stop interrupting me," Kurt spat, "And then Mr. Schue had that talk with us in Glee-“
"What you two did was super inappropriate." It was official. Kurt was going to murder him. Sometime in the near future, when he least expected it, Kurt would murder his step-brother and feel absolutely no remorse or guilt about it. He took a deep breath, preparing to finish his train of thought no matter what idiocy erupted from Finn's mouth.
"So, the last thing that I need right now is you freaking out over some GOD DAMNED KY JELLY AND A CLEAN BLANKET IN THE BACK OF MY CAR!"
"Well I just picked it up and it's something that you guys use in the middle of having sex. Now, do you have some real hand sanitizer, because after touching that, I think I need some."
"OH MY GOD. JUST SHUT UP, FINN. JUST. SHUT. UP!" Kurt shrieked, beating one hand against the steering wheel as he drove while Finn continued his hysterical, nervous babbling from the backseat, something about ‘Why are you yelling at me so much?’
“You need to relax, dude!” Finn finally managed to articulate in amongst Kurt’s screams.
“No, what I need is for you to stop letting every moronic thought in your head spill out without provocation. I need to listen to precisely two Lady Gaga songs between here and home. I need to forget that today ever happened, and I need for Blaine to stop staring at me like that!” Kurt ranted, turning his attention over to his boyfriend as he slowed to a stop at a red light.
“You are so adorable when you’re angry,” Blaine said, leaning over the console only to find himself held at arm’s length by Kurt.
“No, I’m still mad at you.” Blaine wrapped a hand around Kurt’s forearm to pull it away so he could sneak closer.
"So sexy," he murmured before placing a quick, sloppy kiss on Kurt's cheek. Kurt reached forward and twisted one of Blaine's nipples hard through the thin fabric of his shirt to get him to move back into his own seat and out of Kurt's bubble of comfort. "Come on, babe, you know that's only going to make me try harder." Kurt didn't miss the special emphasis that Blaine placed on that last word, and apparently Finn didn't either. He groaned loudly and shoved an index finger in each of his ears and shut his eyes.
"I so need an iPod," he grumbled.
Part Four
Master Fic List