(no subject)
I kept meaning to post the last update e-mail I sent out, but it kept slipping my mind...UNTIL NOW.
Warning: this one is massive.
My children named me. I give them English names, so it's only fair, I
guess, for them to do the same for me. It's (phonetically) Kim Jay
June. I was hoping it didn't mean anything silly or the like, but
apparently it's a really good name for my English name James - at
least according to another Korean I met on the beach.
One of the things I'm kind of disappointed in, here in Korea, is their
level of spiciness. I was told to expect some of the hottest foods,
but so far nothing really stands out in terms of hot and spicy. That
could be, however, because I'm white, and they are sometimes known for
toning down the levels of spiciness for foreigners. But one day, at
the beginning of class, some of my students came in, sat down, then
immediately shot back up and asked to get water. "Water! Water!"
they'd say while pointing to their mouths. I think one of my students
saw the curiosity on my face, and offered me a piece of what they were
allegedly eating. I can't remember what it was called, but it was some
meat covered in a thick, deep red sauce. I used the toothpick to grab
the last piece and put it in my mouth. All the students watched, I
guess, to see the reaction of a foreigner to this crazy hot food that
has them all in a water-quenching quest…nothing. I can be liberal here
and say it was just under being moderately spicy, but nothing to what
I was expecting. I started to teach the lesson of the day, but before
I could continue one of them said, "you? Water?" When I shook my head
no, the entire class was blown away. But, hey, they could just be
pulling my chain so they have a weekly excuse to get out of class and
hang out by the water cooler.
It is pretty well known in Korea that Koreans have a hard time telling
white people apart - they all look the same to them. I experienced
this first hand when I went to the casino. After drinking cheap beer
at the beer tents near the ocean, it was decided we should all go to
the casino at like 3 in the morning. When I got there, I realized I
didn't have my passport because I had handed that into the school so
they could get me an alien immigration card. Kiran told me not to
worry. The plan was the group was all going to get in, and then Kiran
would leave with someone's alien card and meet me outside the casino
so he could give it to me. So, yeah, we put that plan in action. The
picture on the card looks /nothing/ like me, and there would be no way
this would pass at a bar or casino in North America. I think the only
thing going for me was we both didn't have facial hair, and we shared
the same hair colour. So I go in, and the traditional asking for ID
takes place. She takes a long, seemingly hard look at the ID, looks
up, smiles at me, and then lets me in. I…was dumbfounded. Drunk, I
giggled and proceeded to gamble.
So it turns out squatters are more common than toilets, which at first
was a little disconcerting to me. I don't know - a toilet has
everything going for it: you can plant yourself down and the bowl will
take anything you give it. To me, there are too many things that can
go wrong with a squatter. Most of the time there's only a string to
help you hover over the laughably small porcelain god. I'm just glad I
haven't had to use one yet, because I do fear a slip of the foot on
the wet floor will be the cause for me falling in. Another fear would
be things not ending up where you want them. A friend was telling me
when she first used it she ended up pee on her leg. Guys don't really
have that problem, but I'd much rather deal with urine than, well, you
know. Maybe if you're lucky to remember to purchase the 20-cent toilet
paper things might go your way. The one thing I can say I've done
since I've been here, however, is shit in the bush. On a hiking trip,
"the toilet is everywhere," - as said by a Korean guide as he waved
his arms about in a semi-circular motion, indicating, I guess, that
nature will take whatever you give it. And, well, you best not be
ignoring nature calls. I won't go into all the nitty-gritty details of
my experience. I will say, however, that things look a little
different after.
One day I had made plans to go to Gyoung-jew (phonetic spelling)- a
city that holds some of the oldest temples in Asia - with a friend
(Steph) because we had the day off. We were supposed to be up and
ready to leave at a relatively early hour, but we were both at that
casino until like 5:30am.
I was told that you could never expect to get a lot of sleep in Korea
on the weekends, and I'm slowly realizing this is true - especially
when there was the knock on my door at 10am, with Steph on the other
side, asking me if I was ready to go. After having maybe ten minutes
to get ready, we made our way to the bus terminal (which was about an
hour away on the subway, which sucked in my condition). Now, Gyoungjew
is about an hour away from Busan. How much do you think that would
cost - an hour's travel time on the bus - back in Canada? IT WAS $4
HERE. And the crazy thing was that the bus was like…a first class bus!
Leg room galore! And you could recline backwards, to the point you
were maybe 20 degrees above the horizontal! Needless to say I was
able to sleep some of the hangover off on this relaxing bus.
The first thing we did when we got there was make our way to one of
the oldest temples, the name of which escapes me right now. The
scenery was breathtaking, and the temple was unlike anything I've ever
seen. One of the striking things was the rich colour this temple was
encased in. Even the pathways leading up to the temple was incredibly
picturesque and almost monumental with the trees and rocks raising
high above the ground. We then made our way to another temple, which
housed one of the oldest statues of Buddha. This temple was way high
up in the mountain, so the view down was awesome. Each temple had
spring water flowing out of a beautiful statue, and there were plastic
scoop-cup-things for the public to drink out of. On the way back we
made sure to hit this park where the kings from various dynasties were
buried. The tombs looked like a giant round mound of earth, and with
the lot of them it looked like a very hilly area. I didn't know what
they were at first, and wanted to climb up one of them. I was then
told that that kind of thing is frowned upon. That struck me as odd,
but then I was told they were tombs and all made sense again.
On the fourth of July, Independence day, there was a rooftop party
held in the country's honour. It was unlike any rooftop party I've
been to because it was on top of this 24-story building. At first this
crazy fog cover enveloped the city below, but it was slowly washed
aside from the constant warm wind blowing in from the mountains, and
more and more of the city lights peaked through the fog. It was as if
there was this sheet being pulled over the city. I didn't end up going
to bed until maybe 5:30am (it's weird: drinking to all hours of the
night is the norm here and it isn't fueled by drugs), which was dumb
because I had signed up for a hike and I needed to be up and ready by
9:00am sharp.
The hike, I think, has been one of the best experiences so far in
Korea. A middle-aged Korean, who is legendary for planning amazing
excursions for foreigners, and his friend, who went by the name of Sam
Chom (which meant uncle), guided the hike. (Actually, the literal
translation of Samchom is three hop, and a hop, according to him, was
a jump in the family lineage. So the first hop was from him to his
father. The second hop was from his father to his grandfather. And the
third jump was from his grandfather to his uncle.) The mountain,
called 1000 Saint Mountain, we climbed was an hour outside of Busan,
and they had rented a van for us to travel in. The van drove us half
way up the mountain ("Easiest hike I've ever done") and stopped at
this Gazebo overlooking the city. On the way there I still felt a
little drunk, and made the crack, "so this is what it's going to feel
like hiking drunk." As it turns out, there's a Korean custom where you
drink BEFORE you hike to pray for no injuries and good luck on your
journey. Once at the Gazebo, the two Koreans took out all the food
and alcohol they purchased, and thus began a drunken feast. Now, back
in Canada, one would think an alcohol fueled hike is bad luck and
would cause some injury to the drunken hikers. Not here - not in the
least.
While we stuffed our faces with food and alcohol, the Koreans
explained some customary rituals, like the one of the receiving and
giving of drinks. It's a sign of respect to receive or give alcohol
with two hands - The left hand is simply placed just below the right
hand's wrist, on the forearm. This is because, back in the day, the
ancient garbs people wore had really long sleeves, and they would have
to use their free hand to tighten up, so to speak, the sleeve to make
sure it didn't flop into the drinks/food. If you're younger and you're
giving or receiving a drink to/from an elder, you must use two hands.
If you're pouring a drink to someone for the first time, you must use
two hands, even if it's the elder giving/receiving the drink. Out of
the group of people I went with, I was the oldest, so I only had to
use two hands when pouring drinks to our guides. Everyone else had to
show me respect, and I made damn sure I commanded that shit. Another
custom is you must always, /always/ take care of your neighbor (and
this was heavily enforced). If you received a drink from an elder, you
must repay the favour when you're finished your drink. (We… drank a
lot on this hiking trip.)
After our bellies were full (and our vision doubled up), we were on
our way over the mountain. The scenery was lush with greenery, and I
heard the sounds of bugs and birds that I've never heard before. The
trail we stuck on was moderate to intense, and it mostly criss-crossed
over this stream that flows down from the mountain. There was more
spring water "taps" - the taps being hoses coming out of the mountain
and fresh spring water coming out ("Fill your water bottles with this
and you will live a long life!").
Our trail broke through to a motherfucking waterfall. The guides
decided this would be a good place to set up for another picnic, and
we happily obliged. This time they pulled out ghalbi and their small
gas frying pans. They cooked, we drank, we ate, we drank. At the
beginning, when we first got a glimpse of how much alcohol they got
(bottles and bottles of beer, soju, and this rice wine), we questioned
if we were actually going to finish it all. After a few "one shots"
(where you have to finish whatever is in your cup in one take), we
realized they might have brought too little. At one point a cricket
fell onto my hat, jumped into someone's glass of soju, and then jumped
right into the frying pan. The bug was fried pretty good, and I
thought that was the perfect time to try cricket. I picked him out
with chopsticks, dipped it in a bit of salt, and then in it went into
my mouth. I gotta tell you: pretty good. I think the marinade made out
of soju did the trick, and the fat from the ghalbi gave it a nice
finishing flavour.
After lunch we changed into our bathing suits, AND PLAYED IN THE
MOTHERFUCKING WATERFALL. I can't describe how refreshing it was to
just sit/lay underneath the heavy stream of water. Anything that could
have been weighing you down would have just been swept away with the
downpour.
We continued on our hike. Sam Chon wanted to take us to his "special
place" that no foreigner knew about and few if any Koreans knew about.
As we're hiking along the relatively thin path, Sam Chon just veered
to the right, into a thick bamboo-like forest. "Follow me!" We just
kind of looked at each other, but shrugged our shoulders and followed.
After maybe ten minutes of hiking through these bamboo sticks jutting
out of the ground, we finally broke through to this magical-looking
pond, with a mini-waterfall by its side, making sure this pond was
always full. We were so far removed from society. Of course our two
guides broke out more food (this time dumplings) and even more
alcohol. We swam and played in the pond while the guides cooked for
us. There was a rock that acted like a slide into the pond, and if you
wanted a ride, you could swim up close to the mini-waterfall, and grab
a rock for support, then jump in and be carried away by the strong
current.
As the hike went on, there were more and more pit stops. At one point
we decided to lie down on these flat-looking rocks and half a quick
power nap, as the water rushed by us.
As we walked down our final path, each of us good and tipsy, we
noticed the trees dancing for us. Their roots clenched to the ground
as their leaves and branches swung to and fro to a silent beat.
I don't know how many people have eaten out (with) Cindy, but it was
sometimes kind of an embarrassing outing. She'd be rude to the waiters
and didn't like tipping that much. If something popped into her mind
about what she wanted, she'd scream for a waiter and force them to
listen to her, even if they had their arms full of piping hot food.
When giving her order, she'd sound almost condescending. Well, that's
kind of the norm here; you shout "yo-gee-yo" (here!) to get someone's
attention to serve you no matter what they're doing. And there's no
tipping anywhere (not with cabs, not at bars, etc). Some restaurants
even have a "yo-gee-yo" button attached somewhere to the table so you
can always bring a waiter to you. Her rudeness is what's expected here
at restaurants. I told her how much she fits in here. And it took me
awhile to stray away from saying "excuse me" if you want a waiter's
attention. I gotta say, Cindy was on to something.
Baseball is huge here. Huge. The crowd will go absolutely nuts if
someone just lands on first base. Or there will be a wave that goes
around a few times - or several waves going around at once. And if
you're a foreigner singing the cheers…well, they just love that and
will give you free drinks as a result. (Not that you need free drinks,
mind you; the alcohol is like $2 a can, or $5 for a pitcher). And they
also have these weird contests projected on the big screen. One
involved fathers swinging their children all over their body in some
sort of acrobatic gesture.
I've realized that the best way to learn from a culture is through its
children; they're going to reflect whatever they've been exposed to or
what's been imparted on them. For example, one of the homework
questions was the following: What do you love about Korea, what don't
you love about Korea, and why? What do you love about other countries,
what don't you love about other countries, and why? Obviously (or not
so obviously) every single child in my intermediate class did not have
anything bad to say about their country. "I love Korea because Korea
is awesome," or "I love Korea because they have delicious food." After
really fishing for something they didn't like, the children finally
broke this, like, oath to proclaim they didn't like their current
"king of Korea." Why? Because he's importing USA beef, or "crazy
cows." (The children were actually shocked when they found out that I,
in fact, knew what mad cow disease was, which just goes to show how
xenocentric they are - hell, they think Korea is the only land which
experiences four seasons). The fact that there have only been three or four
mad cow-related deaths notwithstanding, or that it was actually in the
UK where shit really went down, I was really curious where they got
their information. "Images! On TV!" one of them said. "…the news?"
"Yes, teacher!"
Not to long ago I came across (or, rather, was told about) a political
cartoon in a brochure given to kids. It involved a cafeteria worker
heading out sticks of dynamite to the children. This isn't an actual
health issue for them - it's a total nationalistic issue. There have
been demonstrations and protests of thousands, if not tens of
thousands of Koreans up in arms over this. Koreans want Korean things,
and think anything they do or create is the best decision. I guess
that's why there are so many incorrectly spelled signs all over Korea:
Mariage for a bridal store; Eglish for an English school. They don't
need spell check or someone to check it for them - if a Korean made
it, it's right. I was going to scare the kids and tell them that mad
cow disease can lay dormant in the body before reeking havoc, but I
didn't (mostly because they wouldn't know what dormant meant.
The second part of the question - involving other countries - was more
interesting…at least I thought so. I remember in younger grades, when
I was being asked these kinds of questions, there would never be a
part asking "what didn't you like about other countries." Because, I
guess, Canada was so multi-cultural, they didn't want to foster a
negative environment for negative comments about other countries to
surface. "I don't like Africa because of the dark skin and flies,"
"China, because anything that says 'made in China' breaks easily."
They're also convinced that all Chinese food has bugs and "mouse
heads" in it. Curious, because some of the Korean food is, well, bugs.
I had one kid surprise me, because she said she really liked Japan,
and that they made quality goods. This was in stark contrast of
another kid who said he liked North Korea because he could get
dynamite there and throw it at Japan.
Kiran had a question involving, "if you were Cupid, who would you
match up?" Some serious answers were given, but then the children
started being sillier. "A cat with a dog!" and the class would giggle.
This went on for some time, until a girl said, "a boy and another
boy!" After Kiran asked what two boys, and the girl replied, "any
two!" and the class erupted in laughter. Obviously two boys being
together is as crazy as interspecies couplings.
Lo and behold, there /is/ a gay district in Busan. I've never been
there, but apparently it's awkward because all the Koreans there will
be incredibly shy and won't talk to one another. There are even
bathhouses like the ones in Canada close by…though one of them is run
out of a guy's house.
A big part of my job is to help the kids with the proper pronunciation
of words. They mix up their Rs and Ls, Bs and Vs, and, more
humorously, Zs and Js - and I'm supposed to fix that. One of the
sentences in a book was, "Oh, look! There's a zoo in the park!" 90% of
the children said that in a way that made me giggle. "Teacher, why
laugh?" Oh, how do you even begin to explain.
Because of all this pronunciation, every class now knows about my
tongue piercing. Oh, man, the reactions. They're really curious so
they're always going, "go ah! Go ah!", wanting to get a closer look.
At first there was a lot of screams, and one girl would even go as far
as dry heaving. "Teacher, why?! Teacher, why?!" But I think the shock
has worn off now. They still ask me to "go ah" a lot of the times, but
they no longer scream; instead they want to get a really good look,
and one even wanted to touch it. (No, I didn't let them if that's what
you're thinking).
Y'know, I'm sure most of you are aware of my current stance of
children and never wanting to have one. But after all this time spent
with my kindergarten children…they're kind of growing on me. They're
so fun to be with! I can sing stupid songs or, well, act like a child
and they all love it! Maybe if I could have one that never grows up to
be a fuck-ass teenager with all this attitude and ability to not
cooperate with anyone/thing. We'll see, I guess. Maybe science will
come to a point where you could genetically alter a child so they stay
that way.
James, Kiran and I, at one point in a night, had $2 beers from the
beer tent and were sitting on the beach, surveying the area. The waves
were crashing and rushing up to meet our feet, there were pockets of
other Koreans heavily peppering the beach, ranging from two to 15
people big, laughing, drinking, having a good time, and the colourful
sights and sounds of a boisterous city ready to simmer down for the
night were behind us. The darkness of the sky meeting the ocean were
drawing our gaze, and at one point we broke away, looked at each other
just before we clinked our beer glasses and exclaimed, this is the
fucking life.
But, still, strong feelings of nostalgia resurface as we discuss about
our respective and shared friends and old experiences, wishing more
were here to join us (or at least visit). Miss you fuckers like crazy.
I still have a ton of shit to say, including the shit show that was
Mud Fest. In brief, there's a lot of mud, there's a lot of alcohol,
there's a mud slide, there's a mud jail, there's a mud parade, there's
a beach, there are fireworks, there are five people crammed to a bed,
there's someone getting knocked unconscious because of a nose dive
down a slide that turned out to be deflated, etc. But this is already
ridiculously long, and I'm not sure how many people even made it this
far. Again, I miss you all.
Much, much love, and I hope everyone is doing superbly. Keep your
updates coming!
Love love love love
James
xoxoxo
end scene.
Warning: this one is massive.
My children named me. I give them English names, so it's only fair, I
guess, for them to do the same for me. It's (phonetically) Kim Jay
June. I was hoping it didn't mean anything silly or the like, but
apparently it's a really good name for my English name James - at
least according to another Korean I met on the beach.
One of the things I'm kind of disappointed in, here in Korea, is their
level of spiciness. I was told to expect some of the hottest foods,
but so far nothing really stands out in terms of hot and spicy. That
could be, however, because I'm white, and they are sometimes known for
toning down the levels of spiciness for foreigners. But one day, at
the beginning of class, some of my students came in, sat down, then
immediately shot back up and asked to get water. "Water! Water!"
they'd say while pointing to their mouths. I think one of my students
saw the curiosity on my face, and offered me a piece of what they were
allegedly eating. I can't remember what it was called, but it was some
meat covered in a thick, deep red sauce. I used the toothpick to grab
the last piece and put it in my mouth. All the students watched, I
guess, to see the reaction of a foreigner to this crazy hot food that
has them all in a water-quenching quest…nothing. I can be liberal here
and say it was just under being moderately spicy, but nothing to what
I was expecting. I started to teach the lesson of the day, but before
I could continue one of them said, "you? Water?" When I shook my head
no, the entire class was blown away. But, hey, they could just be
pulling my chain so they have a weekly excuse to get out of class and
hang out by the water cooler.
It is pretty well known in Korea that Koreans have a hard time telling
white people apart - they all look the same to them. I experienced
this first hand when I went to the casino. After drinking cheap beer
at the beer tents near the ocean, it was decided we should all go to
the casino at like 3 in the morning. When I got there, I realized I
didn't have my passport because I had handed that into the school so
they could get me an alien immigration card. Kiran told me not to
worry. The plan was the group was all going to get in, and then Kiran
would leave with someone's alien card and meet me outside the casino
so he could give it to me. So, yeah, we put that plan in action. The
picture on the card looks /nothing/ like me, and there would be no way
this would pass at a bar or casino in North America. I think the only
thing going for me was we both didn't have facial hair, and we shared
the same hair colour. So I go in, and the traditional asking for ID
takes place. She takes a long, seemingly hard look at the ID, looks
up, smiles at me, and then lets me in. I…was dumbfounded. Drunk, I
giggled and proceeded to gamble.
So it turns out squatters are more common than toilets, which at first
was a little disconcerting to me. I don't know - a toilet has
everything going for it: you can plant yourself down and the bowl will
take anything you give it. To me, there are too many things that can
go wrong with a squatter. Most of the time there's only a string to
help you hover over the laughably small porcelain god. I'm just glad I
haven't had to use one yet, because I do fear a slip of the foot on
the wet floor will be the cause for me falling in. Another fear would
be things not ending up where you want them. A friend was telling me
when she first used it she ended up pee on her leg. Guys don't really
have that problem, but I'd much rather deal with urine than, well, you
know. Maybe if you're lucky to remember to purchase the 20-cent toilet
paper things might go your way. The one thing I can say I've done
since I've been here, however, is shit in the bush. On a hiking trip,
"the toilet is everywhere," - as said by a Korean guide as he waved
his arms about in a semi-circular motion, indicating, I guess, that
nature will take whatever you give it. And, well, you best not be
ignoring nature calls. I won't go into all the nitty-gritty details of
my experience. I will say, however, that things look a little
different after.
One day I had made plans to go to Gyoung-jew (phonetic spelling)- a
city that holds some of the oldest temples in Asia - with a friend
(Steph) because we had the day off. We were supposed to be up and
ready to leave at a relatively early hour, but we were both at that
casino until like 5:30am.
I was told that you could never expect to get a lot of sleep in Korea
on the weekends, and I'm slowly realizing this is true - especially
when there was the knock on my door at 10am, with Steph on the other
side, asking me if I was ready to go. After having maybe ten minutes
to get ready, we made our way to the bus terminal (which was about an
hour away on the subway, which sucked in my condition). Now, Gyoungjew
is about an hour away from Busan. How much do you think that would
cost - an hour's travel time on the bus - back in Canada? IT WAS $4
HERE. And the crazy thing was that the bus was like…a first class bus!
Leg room galore! And you could recline backwards, to the point you
were maybe 20 degrees above the horizontal! Needless to say I was
able to sleep some of the hangover off on this relaxing bus.
The first thing we did when we got there was make our way to one of
the oldest temples, the name of which escapes me right now. The
scenery was breathtaking, and the temple was unlike anything I've ever
seen. One of the striking things was the rich colour this temple was
encased in. Even the pathways leading up to the temple was incredibly
picturesque and almost monumental with the trees and rocks raising
high above the ground. We then made our way to another temple, which
housed one of the oldest statues of Buddha. This temple was way high
up in the mountain, so the view down was awesome. Each temple had
spring water flowing out of a beautiful statue, and there were plastic
scoop-cup-things for the public to drink out of. On the way back we
made sure to hit this park where the kings from various dynasties were
buried. The tombs looked like a giant round mound of earth, and with
the lot of them it looked like a very hilly area. I didn't know what
they were at first, and wanted to climb up one of them. I was then
told that that kind of thing is frowned upon. That struck me as odd,
but then I was told they were tombs and all made sense again.
On the fourth of July, Independence day, there was a rooftop party
held in the country's honour. It was unlike any rooftop party I've
been to because it was on top of this 24-story building. At first this
crazy fog cover enveloped the city below, but it was slowly washed
aside from the constant warm wind blowing in from the mountains, and
more and more of the city lights peaked through the fog. It was as if
there was this sheet being pulled over the city. I didn't end up going
to bed until maybe 5:30am (it's weird: drinking to all hours of the
night is the norm here and it isn't fueled by drugs), which was dumb
because I had signed up for a hike and I needed to be up and ready by
9:00am sharp.
The hike, I think, has been one of the best experiences so far in
Korea. A middle-aged Korean, who is legendary for planning amazing
excursions for foreigners, and his friend, who went by the name of Sam
Chom (which meant uncle), guided the hike. (Actually, the literal
translation of Samchom is three hop, and a hop, according to him, was
a jump in the family lineage. So the first hop was from him to his
father. The second hop was from his father to his grandfather. And the
third jump was from his grandfather to his uncle.) The mountain,
called 1000 Saint Mountain, we climbed was an hour outside of Busan,
and they had rented a van for us to travel in. The van drove us half
way up the mountain ("Easiest hike I've ever done") and stopped at
this Gazebo overlooking the city. On the way there I still felt a
little drunk, and made the crack, "so this is what it's going to feel
like hiking drunk." As it turns out, there's a Korean custom where you
drink BEFORE you hike to pray for no injuries and good luck on your
journey. Once at the Gazebo, the two Koreans took out all the food
and alcohol they purchased, and thus began a drunken feast. Now, back
in Canada, one would think an alcohol fueled hike is bad luck and
would cause some injury to the drunken hikers. Not here - not in the
least.
While we stuffed our faces with food and alcohol, the Koreans
explained some customary rituals, like the one of the receiving and
giving of drinks. It's a sign of respect to receive or give alcohol
with two hands - The left hand is simply placed just below the right
hand's wrist, on the forearm. This is because, back in the day, the
ancient garbs people wore had really long sleeves, and they would have
to use their free hand to tighten up, so to speak, the sleeve to make
sure it didn't flop into the drinks/food. If you're younger and you're
giving or receiving a drink to/from an elder, you must use two hands.
If you're pouring a drink to someone for the first time, you must use
two hands, even if it's the elder giving/receiving the drink. Out of
the group of people I went with, I was the oldest, so I only had to
use two hands when pouring drinks to our guides. Everyone else had to
show me respect, and I made damn sure I commanded that shit. Another
custom is you must always, /always/ take care of your neighbor (and
this was heavily enforced). If you received a drink from an elder, you
must repay the favour when you're finished your drink. (We… drank a
lot on this hiking trip.)
After our bellies were full (and our vision doubled up), we were on
our way over the mountain. The scenery was lush with greenery, and I
heard the sounds of bugs and birds that I've never heard before. The
trail we stuck on was moderate to intense, and it mostly criss-crossed
over this stream that flows down from the mountain. There was more
spring water "taps" - the taps being hoses coming out of the mountain
and fresh spring water coming out ("Fill your water bottles with this
and you will live a long life!").
Our trail broke through to a motherfucking waterfall. The guides
decided this would be a good place to set up for another picnic, and
we happily obliged. This time they pulled out ghalbi and their small
gas frying pans. They cooked, we drank, we ate, we drank. At the
beginning, when we first got a glimpse of how much alcohol they got
(bottles and bottles of beer, soju, and this rice wine), we questioned
if we were actually going to finish it all. After a few "one shots"
(where you have to finish whatever is in your cup in one take), we
realized they might have brought too little. At one point a cricket
fell onto my hat, jumped into someone's glass of soju, and then jumped
right into the frying pan. The bug was fried pretty good, and I
thought that was the perfect time to try cricket. I picked him out
with chopsticks, dipped it in a bit of salt, and then in it went into
my mouth. I gotta tell you: pretty good. I think the marinade made out
of soju did the trick, and the fat from the ghalbi gave it a nice
finishing flavour.
After lunch we changed into our bathing suits, AND PLAYED IN THE
MOTHERFUCKING WATERFALL. I can't describe how refreshing it was to
just sit/lay underneath the heavy stream of water. Anything that could
have been weighing you down would have just been swept away with the
downpour.
We continued on our hike. Sam Chon wanted to take us to his "special
place" that no foreigner knew about and few if any Koreans knew about.
As we're hiking along the relatively thin path, Sam Chon just veered
to the right, into a thick bamboo-like forest. "Follow me!" We just
kind of looked at each other, but shrugged our shoulders and followed.
After maybe ten minutes of hiking through these bamboo sticks jutting
out of the ground, we finally broke through to this magical-looking
pond, with a mini-waterfall by its side, making sure this pond was
always full. We were so far removed from society. Of course our two
guides broke out more food (this time dumplings) and even more
alcohol. We swam and played in the pond while the guides cooked for
us. There was a rock that acted like a slide into the pond, and if you
wanted a ride, you could swim up close to the mini-waterfall, and grab
a rock for support, then jump in and be carried away by the strong
current.
As the hike went on, there were more and more pit stops. At one point
we decided to lie down on these flat-looking rocks and half a quick
power nap, as the water rushed by us.
As we walked down our final path, each of us good and tipsy, we
noticed the trees dancing for us. Their roots clenched to the ground
as their leaves and branches swung to and fro to a silent beat.
I don't know how many people have eaten out (with) Cindy, but it was
sometimes kind of an embarrassing outing. She'd be rude to the waiters
and didn't like tipping that much. If something popped into her mind
about what she wanted, she'd scream for a waiter and force them to
listen to her, even if they had their arms full of piping hot food.
When giving her order, she'd sound almost condescending. Well, that's
kind of the norm here; you shout "yo-gee-yo" (here!) to get someone's
attention to serve you no matter what they're doing. And there's no
tipping anywhere (not with cabs, not at bars, etc). Some restaurants
even have a "yo-gee-yo" button attached somewhere to the table so you
can always bring a waiter to you. Her rudeness is what's expected here
at restaurants. I told her how much she fits in here. And it took me
awhile to stray away from saying "excuse me" if you want a waiter's
attention. I gotta say, Cindy was on to something.
Baseball is huge here. Huge. The crowd will go absolutely nuts if
someone just lands on first base. Or there will be a wave that goes
around a few times - or several waves going around at once. And if
you're a foreigner singing the cheers…well, they just love that and
will give you free drinks as a result. (Not that you need free drinks,
mind you; the alcohol is like $2 a can, or $5 for a pitcher). And they
also have these weird contests projected on the big screen. One
involved fathers swinging their children all over their body in some
sort of acrobatic gesture.
I've realized that the best way to learn from a culture is through its
children; they're going to reflect whatever they've been exposed to or
what's been imparted on them. For example, one of the homework
questions was the following: What do you love about Korea, what don't
you love about Korea, and why? What do you love about other countries,
what don't you love about other countries, and why? Obviously (or not
so obviously) every single child in my intermediate class did not have
anything bad to say about their country. "I love Korea because Korea
is awesome," or "I love Korea because they have delicious food." After
really fishing for something they didn't like, the children finally
broke this, like, oath to proclaim they didn't like their current
"king of Korea." Why? Because he's importing USA beef, or "crazy
cows." (The children were actually shocked when they found out that I,
in fact, knew what mad cow disease was, which just goes to show how
xenocentric they are - hell, they think Korea is the only land which
experiences four seasons). The fact that there have only been three or four
mad cow-related deaths notwithstanding, or that it was actually in the
UK where shit really went down, I was really curious where they got
their information. "Images! On TV!" one of them said. "…the news?"
"Yes, teacher!"
Not to long ago I came across (or, rather, was told about) a political
cartoon in a brochure given to kids. It involved a cafeteria worker
heading out sticks of dynamite to the children. This isn't an actual
health issue for them - it's a total nationalistic issue. There have
been demonstrations and protests of thousands, if not tens of
thousands of Koreans up in arms over this. Koreans want Korean things,
and think anything they do or create is the best decision. I guess
that's why there are so many incorrectly spelled signs all over Korea:
Mariage for a bridal store; Eglish for an English school. They don't
need spell check or someone to check it for them - if a Korean made
it, it's right. I was going to scare the kids and tell them that mad
cow disease can lay dormant in the body before reeking havoc, but I
didn't (mostly because they wouldn't know what dormant meant.
The second part of the question - involving other countries - was more
interesting…at least I thought so. I remember in younger grades, when
I was being asked these kinds of questions, there would never be a
part asking "what didn't you like about other countries." Because, I
guess, Canada was so multi-cultural, they didn't want to foster a
negative environment for negative comments about other countries to
surface. "I don't like Africa because of the dark skin and flies,"
"China, because anything that says 'made in China' breaks easily."
They're also convinced that all Chinese food has bugs and "mouse
heads" in it. Curious, because some of the Korean food is, well, bugs.
I had one kid surprise me, because she said she really liked Japan,
and that they made quality goods. This was in stark contrast of
another kid who said he liked North Korea because he could get
dynamite there and throw it at Japan.
Kiran had a question involving, "if you were Cupid, who would you
match up?" Some serious answers were given, but then the children
started being sillier. "A cat with a dog!" and the class would giggle.
This went on for some time, until a girl said, "a boy and another
boy!" After Kiran asked what two boys, and the girl replied, "any
two!" and the class erupted in laughter. Obviously two boys being
together is as crazy as interspecies couplings.
Lo and behold, there /is/ a gay district in Busan. I've never been
there, but apparently it's awkward because all the Koreans there will
be incredibly shy and won't talk to one another. There are even
bathhouses like the ones in Canada close by…though one of them is run
out of a guy's house.
A big part of my job is to help the kids with the proper pronunciation
of words. They mix up their Rs and Ls, Bs and Vs, and, more
humorously, Zs and Js - and I'm supposed to fix that. One of the
sentences in a book was, "Oh, look! There's a zoo in the park!" 90% of
the children said that in a way that made me giggle. "Teacher, why
laugh?" Oh, how do you even begin to explain.
Because of all this pronunciation, every class now knows about my
tongue piercing. Oh, man, the reactions. They're really curious so
they're always going, "go ah! Go ah!", wanting to get a closer look.
At first there was a lot of screams, and one girl would even go as far
as dry heaving. "Teacher, why?! Teacher, why?!" But I think the shock
has worn off now. They still ask me to "go ah" a lot of the times, but
they no longer scream; instead they want to get a really good look,
and one even wanted to touch it. (No, I didn't let them if that's what
you're thinking).
Y'know, I'm sure most of you are aware of my current stance of
children and never wanting to have one. But after all this time spent
with my kindergarten children…they're kind of growing on me. They're
so fun to be with! I can sing stupid songs or, well, act like a child
and they all love it! Maybe if I could have one that never grows up to
be a fuck-ass teenager with all this attitude and ability to not
cooperate with anyone/thing. We'll see, I guess. Maybe science will
come to a point where you could genetically alter a child so they stay
that way.
James, Kiran and I, at one point in a night, had $2 beers from the
beer tent and were sitting on the beach, surveying the area. The waves
were crashing and rushing up to meet our feet, there were pockets of
other Koreans heavily peppering the beach, ranging from two to 15
people big, laughing, drinking, having a good time, and the colourful
sights and sounds of a boisterous city ready to simmer down for the
night were behind us. The darkness of the sky meeting the ocean were
drawing our gaze, and at one point we broke away, looked at each other
just before we clinked our beer glasses and exclaimed, this is the
fucking life.
But, still, strong feelings of nostalgia resurface as we discuss about
our respective and shared friends and old experiences, wishing more
were here to join us (or at least visit). Miss you fuckers like crazy.
I still have a ton of shit to say, including the shit show that was
Mud Fest. In brief, there's a lot of mud, there's a lot of alcohol,
there's a mud slide, there's a mud jail, there's a mud parade, there's
a beach, there are fireworks, there are five people crammed to a bed,
there's someone getting knocked unconscious because of a nose dive
down a slide that turned out to be deflated, etc. But this is already
ridiculously long, and I'm not sure how many people even made it this
far. Again, I miss you all.
Much, much love, and I hope everyone is doing superbly. Keep your
updates coming!
Love love love love
James
xoxoxo
end scene.