(no subject)
phantom napkin: What tricks do you know of for getting rid of ants?
Puck4ever: A good shoe. =)
phantom napkin: That gets rid of maybe 1% of them.
phantom napkin: Then they send more, and replace the ones they lost.
phantom napkin: I have to make them uninterested in coming in here in the first place.
phantom napkin: No matter how clean I keep it though, they find something.
phantom napkin: This morning, I found a trail of them coming into my garbage can to get at A FUCKING MUFFIN WRAPPER.
Puck4ever: You might need an exterminator...
phantom napkin: That's the fucking landlady's problem. She hired one back in the summer, but this last month, they're coming back.
Puck4ever: I don't know what to tell you, then.
phantom napkin: Can you ask your parents to bribe their queen?
phantom napkin: You know, tell her workers not to come around here anymore? Go bug my downstairs neighbor or something?
Puck4ever: Do what the Buddhists do: Put up a sign politely asking the ants to leave.
phantom napkin: See, I'm not a buddhist. I'm an American. If I want them gone, I'll either kill them, or make the place undesirable to them. Or both.
Puck4ever: But didn't you just say that wasn't working?
phantom napkin: Yes. Which means I'm not making it undesirable enough.
phantom napkin: That's the trouble with ants, is that they have no sense of fear.
phantom napkin: Also, they reproduce like Ridley Scott's aliens.
Puck4ever: So then make friends with them.
phantom napkin: You can't make friends with the aliens!
phantom napkin: They bleed acid!
phantom napkin: MOLECULAR acid!
Puck4ever: Whatever, you're just being stubborn.
phantom napkin: I got a nerf Maverick, and tried threatening them with it, but they weren't impressed.
Puck4ever: Put cookies outside of your apartment or something.
Puck4ever: Maybe they will go there instead.
phantom napkin: They'll go both places.
Puck4ever: You've tried that?
phantom napkin: Or my neighbors will eat the cookie.
phantom napkin: Both outcomes have occurred.
Puck4ever: Then you're out of luck.
Puck4ever: Be kind, you might be an ant in your next life.
Puck4ever: A good shoe. =)
phantom napkin: That gets rid of maybe 1% of them.
phantom napkin: Then they send more, and replace the ones they lost.
phantom napkin: I have to make them uninterested in coming in here in the first place.
phantom napkin: No matter how clean I keep it though, they find something.
phantom napkin: This morning, I found a trail of them coming into my garbage can to get at A FUCKING MUFFIN WRAPPER.
Puck4ever: You might need an exterminator...
phantom napkin: That's the fucking landlady's problem. She hired one back in the summer, but this last month, they're coming back.
Puck4ever: I don't know what to tell you, then.
phantom napkin: Can you ask your parents to bribe their queen?
phantom napkin: You know, tell her workers not to come around here anymore? Go bug my downstairs neighbor or something?
Puck4ever: Do what the Buddhists do: Put up a sign politely asking the ants to leave.
phantom napkin: See, I'm not a buddhist. I'm an American. If I want them gone, I'll either kill them, or make the place undesirable to them. Or both.
Puck4ever: But didn't you just say that wasn't working?
phantom napkin: Yes. Which means I'm not making it undesirable enough.
phantom napkin: That's the trouble with ants, is that they have no sense of fear.
phantom napkin: Also, they reproduce like Ridley Scott's aliens.
Puck4ever: So then make friends with them.
phantom napkin: You can't make friends with the aliens!
phantom napkin: They bleed acid!
phantom napkin: MOLECULAR acid!
Puck4ever: Whatever, you're just being stubborn.
phantom napkin: I got a nerf Maverick, and tried threatening them with it, but they weren't impressed.
Puck4ever: Put cookies outside of your apartment or something.
Puck4ever: Maybe they will go there instead.
phantom napkin: They'll go both places.
Puck4ever: You've tried that?
phantom napkin: Or my neighbors will eat the cookie.
phantom napkin: Both outcomes have occurred.
Puck4ever: Then you're out of luck.
Puck4ever: Be kind, you might be an ant in your next life.