The Game Grid-Chapter One

[flyingmint]

Title: The Game Grid 
Genre: Sci-fi, Adventure
Pairing(s): main pairing- UsxUk, other pairings- Giripan, Spamano 
Rating/Warnings: T
Summary: Alfred F. Jones, a programer/technician and arcade owner, and his friend Kiku create a machine and two new programs. But then an intruder comes and steals the machine with Alfred stuck in a digtal world! Tron

Comments

[chiisana00]

Maybe you can try to write more before posting it as one chapter. I would recommend you to try not using too much dialogues as well.

[flyingmint]

sorry, this my frist fic I posted ever on here. Most of my fics are on fanfiction.net. Two, I always write the 1st chapter short. The other chapters are going to be longer than this but I can't help it! (maybe I should of call it the Prologue)

[shadowfaeyre]

Hi! Thank you for posting this!
This is close to the length of a short prologue chapter, but I think it may need to be developed a bit more to give it the big punch that befits the plot. Things are implied here, but you may need a little more background information to really get the ball rolling, and your grammar and spelling need to be looked over as well.
The people over at the workshop
workshop would be more than happy to help you~ And don't worry, they don't bite. ;D Even the betas and members of the workshop have other people look over their things, it's how we all improve!

But! Despite this, your plot is great, and I can't wait to see where you go with it! America's definitely the type to do something like this. ^^ And it'll be interesting to see how their relationship develops in this type of situation.

[flyingmint]

Ya, I know. I was planning to save the info for the next chapter. And grammer and spelling, I SUCK!!! I'll try to get help from worksop. Thanks!

[kasumicc]

I agree it's still too short to get a good idea of the story o.o The premise sounds good, though!

[dannydamned]

I like the fact that the first chapter is short. Not all long and rambly. This is good:)

[yiyislav]

Just want to say what a great blog you got here!

[flyingmint]

Thanks! ^^