i am home.

i am sick.

i got sick on my birthday.  >.<

but i see ryan tomorrow.  yay!

my life is falling apart.

or not so much my life.  just me.  im falling apart.

i remembered things.  that i tried really hard to forget.

and now i feel like dying.

because there is a reason i forgot them.

i can't handle the reality of their existance.

What is beauty?

Is beauty the size of our bodies or the color of our skin?

Is it how tall we are or how much make up we wear?

Is it how gracefully we move or what style we represent?

What is beauty?

I am 165 lbs.  I am whiter than wonder bread.  I am shorter than anyone has a right to be.  I either wear no makeup or way too much.  I am clumsy as ( Read more... )

yup.

i got in an accident.

they're never gonna let me drive again.

and i have to pay the insurance difference.

i dont have a job.

im never gonna get like the 1000 dollars that they're gonna make me pay.

im so fucked.

not even a little fucked.

like yay double penetration fucked.

yup.

life is shit.

YAY.

....you would kill for this, 
just a little bit, 
just a little bit, 
you would, you would......

sing me something soft,
sad and delicate
or loud and out of key
sing me anything.....

This song makes me want to cry.  So much.

*sigh*

It's a good feeling tho.

Anywhooo.  I dunno what's up with me lately.  I have a 49 for fourth quarter in Chemistry.  Pretty sure ( Read more... )

my teacher just screamed at me i front of the class.  Cuz i had my head down.  Because I'm fucking exausted.  So basically, I'm writing this to keep from myself crying.  I'm shking really hard though....I'm suprised this is coming out as neatly as this is.

rawr.

I dunno, I'm going to the Rock today.

I'm worried.
I'm scared.

I feel like I'm going to ( Read more... )

Almost five years and I still don’t know what to say to you.

Did you honestly want to hurt me?  Because that’s what you did.

Was that really your intention?  I don’t see how any human could be that low.

Did you think about the nights I’d spend crying over what you did?  I cry a lot because of you.

Do you regret it at all?  I should hope so.

Did the ( Read more... )

Like the spark that starts a forest fire
she shoots it in, it gets her higher
the rush, her drug just wont deny her
as it burns her life away

And she sparkles with the kind of flame
the brings one glory, brings one fame
but no one knows about the shame
that she faces every day

it hurts to live dependently
on chemically induced normallcy

she's just a ( Read more... )

To-Do-List  [they seem to be the in thing to do]

1.  Pass Chemistry
2.  Quit being so dependent, it's getting pathetic.
3.  Get over myself
4.  Upload the E-Portfolio shit.
5.  Get back in touch with Matt Voght.
6.  Get Coulter to either get his act together, or drop him.  No more billionth chances.
7.  Get to bed at a decent hour.
8.  Finish research ( Read more... )

hmmm yesh ( Read more... )