(no subject)
Title: Return to Me Part- Chapters 9-12 Rewrites
Author: Flyngaimlessly
Paring: Harry/Draco
Rating: pg-13
Summary: The night when Harry Potter leaves his husband behind as he goes to war.
Spoilers: 1-5
Warning: slash, m-preg
Archive: please inform me before it is archived anywhere.
Previous chapters. 1~2~3~4~5~6~7~8~13~14~15
Many Thanks to my Beta -luciology
Chapter-9
The Blindness and the Hope
(Present)
The walk back to the castle was slow as the snow fell down heavily from the sky yet tears refused to fall. The village was silent, devoid of all activity. In the outskirts of London the memorial for Harry Potter was being held. Thousands and millions of wizards from all over the world were there, laying down candles and flowers and cards for the Boy-who-Lived. Therefore Hogsmeade looked like a ghost town as Draco walked down the streets, every shop sign screaming at him with a memory. Yet Draco continued to make his trudge back to the castle. The large rot iron gates, the gargoyles at the entrance, the sight of the quiditch pitch and the wide lake all stood silently on the sides.
Upon reaching the entrance hall Draco made his choice immediately. He dropped his unfocused stroll to stride purposefully across the castle making it to his tower. Within seconds he had brought out his bags and had started to pack. It was time for him to go home. He couldn't stand this place anymore. Half an hour passed and on different occasions tears fought to fall from his eyes. Yet he couldn't get himself to do it. He didn't have the strength to cry. Half way through, a knock interrupted his progress followed by the barging in of Hermione Granger. She looked considerably better, yet her eyes were red and her hair a mess.
Upon finding out that Draco was leaving she spent half an hour trying to convince him to stay. That's Granger for you. She gave up after sometime and left. But not before giving him a big hug and telling him to be careful. Once his things were packed and suitcases ready to go, Draco stood and stared out the window. The snow was coming down furiously outside, the window filling up with it. It was close to three in the afternoon yet the sky held no hint of the sun. Feeling a sense of depression coming on Draco looked away from the darkening sky. Harry use to love days like these, because it gave them an excuse to sit across from the fire, cuddled together, covered with a blanket and sharing a cup of tea. Those days felt so incredibly warm but now it made him feel unbelievably cold. Walking away Draco picked up his bags and made his way toward the fireplace. It was time for him to go home again.
~`~
The house looked untouched. Just like he had left it. Setting his bags down at the front door, Draco roamed the house, his face blank, eyes searching. For what, he didn't know.
~`~
Past-(Hogwarts) Harry Potter’s 4th year
“Draco, are you even listening to me?” Pansy Parkinson asked for the twentieth
time that evening. She watched impatiently as the boy just heaved a sigh.
“No Parkinson, I’m not.” He answered heaving himself out of the chair in the Slytherin common room. He had had enough of this. He didn’t have to listen to her rubbish. “I’m going.” He stated, pulling on his cloak. Within a few seconds he was out of the room after he told Crabbe and Goyle to beat it.
The castle was dark and silent now when merely two hours ago it was bursting with festivities celebrating the beginning of the highly anticipated Tri-Wizard tournament. Frankly Draco was just bored. Life was just so boring. It was as if every year was just full of events that repeated themselves with a few variations. For example, his father was angry with him again. For what reason, Draco didn’t know and Draco didn’t care. Ever since last summer, Lucius was just thoroughly angry at his only son. Whenever Draco was around his father now, he couldn’t help but feel like he was walking on a tight rope over a pond filled with poison and deadly alligators waiting for him to fall in. His classes were still the same, as were his “friends” and his “enemies”. Draco laughed at the thought. The only variation now was that Draco had been attacked and all suspicions pointed towards people Draco thought were his friends. And his savior was his greatest enemy. The world turns upside down when you can’t distinguish between those who are loyal to you and those who are not.
Draco continued to walk, his legs carrying him out of the castle. As the cool air hit his face, Draco began to go through the common checklist that continually occupied his thoughts these days. Parkinson...she wouldn’t. She still needs my friendship. Same with Zabini. His father is too closely tied with Lucius. Crabbe and Goyle wouldn’t have a motive. He had racked his brains a number of time to remember what he had seen that night. But all he came up with were blurs of darkness while some one hit him with spells.
Shrugging off the darkness from the memory, Draco pulled his cloak on closer and increased his pace deciding to go toward the Womping Willow. As he approached the hysterical tree that waved dangerously. Draco smiled softly as he picked up a long stick and touched the knot that made the branches freeze.
He loved the shack. He was so thankful that he had discovered this place. It was the one place in Hogwarts that Draco could just find peace and quiet and seclusion. Walking into the dark drawing room, Draco made his way up the stairs. He set his hand upon the handle of the first bedroom and turned it harshly. He entered the room but came to a sudden halt when he found a wand pointed directly at his throat. After he got over the sudden surprise he looked up to see green eyes staring back at him, puzzled.
He smiled. “Hello Potter. What a pleasant surprise.” The only source of light in the room was the one that poured from the fireplace. Its gentle glow lit half of Harry Potter’s confused face as he lowered his wand, his mouth slightly open.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
Now that the offending wand had been lowered, Draco side stepped Harry and walked into the room pulling off his cloak and laying it gently on the four-poster bed. He seated himself in the armchair looking around.
“The same reason you are here. To be away from everyone else.”
Harry turned around to look at him again.
“How did you find out how to get in here?”
Draco smiled. “I figured it out. I always wondered what the purpose of the Womping Willow was so I set out to discover it. I didn’t know that this shack intrigued you as well.”
“It didn’t. I just stumbled upon it.” Harry answered his brow slightly furrowed. He still stood standing before the Slytherin while the flickering firelight covered them whole.
Silence stood between them for a few moments.
“So why are you still here?”
Draco smirked. “The same reason you are still here, Potter.”
“To talk?”
Draco nodded.
“You know you have always intrigued me. Did you know that Potter?” He looked up, pausing for a moment. “At times I always felt like I had you completely figured out but then you go an do something so unexpected and save you own enemy and then I had to stop and remind myself that I should have expected it all along.” He paused again. “I’ve been racking my brains ever since I got released from the infirmary in order to find the reason that convinced you to save my life. And I finally found it.”
Harry smiled. “So what is it?” he asked, lifting his eyebrows slightly.
“Blindness. You are truly and completely blind.” Draco said.
Harry opened his mouth to retaliate but Draco stopped him.
“Wait Potter, Just let me finish. You see, you hold grudges. Completely. But at times you find yourself in situations that require you to become that bloody hero that you hate some much in your self. And at these times you completely forget about your hatred and instead satisfy your impulses. But that’s not enough you see. That still doesn’t explain everything. If you were acting on blind heroism you would have deposited me in the infirmary waited for confirmation about my survival and then gone back to hating me. So why is it that you continued to return and make sure I was all right? Why did you not resume hating me? Why are you still here listening to me speak?
“I know why? It’s hope. For some unbelievably vague reason you feel that I am not truly the Malfoy that I am suppose to be. You feel that there is still a chance that I will not join Voldemort and that there is a chance that I will not become my father. So now tell me this. Why is it that you feel this way?”
A pause.
“I don’t have an answer to that.” Harry answered, his face blank.
“Is it still true?” Draco asked with a sharp glance.
“Yes.”
Here it came: the sharp and untimely laughter that was fighting to burst from Draco’s chest. Harry Potter continued to watch, his figure still and his gaze curious.
“Potter, do you know what the payment will be if I refuse to join Voldemort. DO you know what punishment will be unleashed if I refuse to become my father? Do you have any idea?” He stood up to challenge Harry’s height and waited for an answer, his face wiped clean of all the traces of laughter. “I don’t have a choice Potter. Everything may be all lovely and fair on your end of the world, but life is different on this side.” He took a step closer to Potter’s emotionless face. “So let go of your hope, because if I refuse to stand by Voldemort’s side in this war, I will face a fate that is much worse death alone.”
He was gone before Harry had a chance to digest his words.
~`~
End of chapter-9
Chapter-10
The Big Difference
Chapter-10 rewrite
(past-Hogwarts) Harry’s 4th year
The next day Draco woke to find that he had only had two hours of sleep. What had kept him awake? Guilt. He felt guilty for the way he had treated Harry. After all, this was the first person he had met who didn’t know him properly but still truly had faith in him. But no. Draco couldn’t allow himself to fall for that. He had no other choice. He got out of bed and engaged in his usual morning activities before heading down to breakfast flagged with Zabini and Parkinson at his sides. Crabbe and Goyle followed in their wake.
During breakfast Draco kept his eyes on the Daily Prophet, refusing to engage in useless conversations with Parkinson.
“Draco,” Zabini said nudging the blond. “Look at Potter.”
Malfoy wished he hadn’t looked up. His grey eyes followed Potter as he was denied a place besides his friends and had to go sit at the end of the table. While his housemates were glad that he was a Tri-Wizard champion, his closest friends were not. Not only were they displeased but also joining them was the rest of the school who felt that he had cheated his way into the competition. Draco watched as random people from the other house came up to Potter and whispered phrases that were undoubtedly rude and uncalled for.
Zabini nudged him again.
“Come on Malfoy, let’s go over there.”
Blaise had just risen from his feet when Potter dropped his fork, picked up his bag, and stormed out of the hall.
Something told Draco that he should follow the boy, but he drowned out the voice and resumed his previous activities while Zabini continued to dramatize the situation.
~`~
If Draco wasn’t sure whether Harry was having a hard time being a Tri-Wizard champion before, well there was no doubt left after that afternoon’s Potions lesson. It was bad enough he had to sit alone and watch his friends scowl at him, but Potter even had to watch as Snape took full advantage of his undoubtedly unfortunate situation.
Zabini’s silent laughter beside him pulled Draco’s attention away from the potion they were supposed to be working on. “Will you stop that, Zabini?” Malfoy said harshly, getting thoroughly annoyed.
“Come on, Draco, you should be enjoying this,” Zabini said, nodding towards Potter where Snape was hovering and making snide comments.
Draco held eye contact, his brow furrowing slightly. But he looked away after a few moments disgusted by what he saw. Malfoy stood up and requested permission to go to the bathroom, his face as emotionless as ever.
A few minutes later, the slytherin found himself standing in front of the bathroom mirror. He remembered the look in Zabini’s face. What was happening to Blaise, he wondered. He was changing. He was becoming one of them.
~`~
He and Blaise have been friends since they were four. He remembered how the black haired boy would come to the Manor with his parents and the two of them would find ways to cause sabotage.
As they got older their conversations matured. They began to contemplate their futures as the children of Zabini and Malfoy. They spoke of Voldemort and his rise to power and his philosophies. Blaise was the only one he had ever related to. Together they had sat one night and spoken about how Voldemort would come to power soon and when he did the two of them would be asked to join. They understood their situations together and wondered what would happen if they rebelled against their fathers’ wills. Truly rebellion wasn’t the answer but they promised that they would stick by one another as friends for the rest of their lives.
It was one day last summer after third year when Draco ran away from home and reached Blaise’s. He entered the wards of the Manor by whispering the password, and snuck into the grounds silently. The room was dark as he climbed in through the window. But he easily found his way to the master bed. Draco stood at the edge of the mattress for a few moments before pushing aside the blanket and climbing in. Blaise woke with a start but immediately realized something was wrong. Draco lay down, face up while the other boy sat up. There was silence for a moment while Blaise took in the dark bruises and blood that scattered his friend’s face. Their eyes met in a fierce gaze.
“Lucius?” was the soft question.
There was no verbal answer.
“Why?”
Draco held out his right arm. There was the dreaded mark.
“I couldn’t fight it off.” Blaise closed his eyes, not ready to show the pain that pierced him.
“Was He there?”
Draco shook his head.
It was the pain that Blaise felt he should see in Draco’s eyes. But it wasn’t there. Instead there was disappointment and self-loathing. He felt no other urge but to pull the boy to him. So he did. There were no tears. There were no more promises. But the only comfort came when Blaise Zabini gently touched his lips against Draco Malfoy’s and they found the comfort they needed.
When morning came, Draco had to return to Malfoy Manor, but as he entered the dreaded home, he remembered the comfort of the previous night’s kiss. Blaise had become his only strength against his father.
Friendship, Draco had realized, is not being able to speak to one another, it is being able to offer one another the greatest forms of comfort while never questioning the other’s motive.
~`~
Past~(Hogwarts) Harry’s 4th Year
“Thought I might drop by since I haven’t had a chance to speak to you properly lately.” It was Blaise. He entered slowly after Draco opened the door, depositing his cloak at the entrance. He went straight to the living room and settled down.
“How have you been?” he asked, his dark eyes piercing through Draco. That was another change, Draco realized. Before Blaise’s eyes always had this innocent quality that spoke of friendship and loyalty. Now they were just dark as if full of deceit and distrust.
Draco nodded. “You?’
“Same. How’s the old man? Haven’t seen him in a while,” he asked.
“Yeah well you haven’t dropped by the manor lately.
Blaise let out a soft laugh. “Is that an accusation?”
Draco shrugged looking away and sinking more comfortably into the sofa.
There was silence.
“Is something wrong, Draco?” Blaise asked leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.
Draco looked at him silently for a moment.
“You’ve changed,” he said decisively.
Blaise smiled, his eyebrows rising good-naturedly. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” Draco said looking away. “Ever since your trip to France, you’ve been different. It’s as if I don’t recognize you anymore.”
There was no response. So Draco pushed on.
“I mean all you can think about doing is joining those bunch of idiots in making fun of Potter. Is that what you have reduced your self to?”
“Look Malfoy, I just came here to talk to you. If you are only interested in fighting...”
He got up to leave.
“What’s the matter with you, Zabini?”
The other boy turned around and looked at him indifferently.
That was the problem: indifference. He was loosing his closest friend due to indifference.
~`~
It was an odd thought that coaxed Draco Malfoy to go to the Womping Willow that night. He listened to the voice still and found himself in the four-poster bed in the shack waiting for Potter to arrive.
“Funny. I thought I might find you here,” Potter said taking off his cloak and leaving it crumpled on the floor. He walked towards the fireplace to warm up, his back towards Draco.
It was raining outside, the dull drumming of drop was apparent in the silence. Draco Malfoy did not rise from his position on the bed preferring to look up at the canopy.
“How’s life, Potter?” he asked.
Harry shrugged. “It’s fine.”
At this Draco chuckled. “Wow Potter, you have quiet a meager definition of what “fine” is in life.”
Again the shrug. Draco continued to stare at Harry’s back.
“How come Weasley and Granger aren’t on speaking terms with you anymore?” he asked, trying to subtlety pry into Harry Potter’s life.
“They think I entered myself into the competition and that I’m lying by denying that.” He turned away from the fire, shoving his hands roughly into his pockets. He strolled towards the bed and leaned gently against one of the bedposts.
“So basically the whole school thinks that I entered my self into the competition. One fourth of the people love me for it. The rest hate me.”
Draco smiled. “Never a dull moment with Harry Potter.”
They remained silent for a while, their attention wavering.
“So, what’s your problem?” Harry asked.
“Who says I have one?”
“Why else would you be here?”
There was moment of silence. “My best friend is changing and I cannot for the life of me figure out why.”
“Maybe you should speak to him and ask him what the problem is.”
“I did. I saw nothing but indifference.”
Draco continued to watch Harry as he thought the situation through.
“What’s so different about him? Apart from the indifference I mean.”
“I don’t know how to explain. It’s just I feel so uncomfortable around him suddenly. It has become that way with pretty much all my friends.”
A soft laugh came from Harry, forcing Draco look up.
“Funny you should say that since all this time I’ve been under the impression that you’ve changed.”
~`~
TBC….
Chapter-11
My Imagination?
Past~(Hogwarts) Harry’s 4th year
It was an eerie silence that had descended upon the castle as Draco made his way back to his chambers that night. Dark shapes and figures moved around in the halls making Draco uncomfortable. It was more than once that he had to remind himself that the shapes were just his eyes playing tricks on him. He was almost close to his rooms when he heard distinct noises that could not be his imagination. There were small and soft cries coming from somewhere nearby accompanied by wheezing.
He couldn’t see where the voice was coming from but allowed the noises to guide him. In a dark corner behind the statue of a wizard, Draco Malfoy found his best friend covered in blood and crying from the agony of pain.
“Blaise?”
~`~
Carrying Blaise to his rooms was an easy process. Taking in the sheer magnitude at which he was injured was not. Draco lowered him onto his bed and noticed that there were many gashes all over his body, each oozing out copious amounts of blood. His breathing was still highly unstable and his eyes blood shot.
Healing the wounds was no use. The spell wouldn’t work. Panic was starting to flood Draco’s veins. Was his best friend going to die? Right here in front of him? He was immobilized but was jolted awake when Blaise grasped his hand for support.
“Draco,” he whispered, “Draco, don’t leave me.”
Draco shook his head and leaned down to kiss the boy. “I won’t. I promise.” Then he saw the mark that explained everything. The Death Eaters had branded Blaise on his arm.
“Blaise, I have to go. To have to let me go get help.”
The other boy began to shake his head violently. “No, you have to listen to me Draco. Please. Stay away from me. Don’t come near me.”
“What?” Draco asked as Blaise refused to let go of him.
“Just listen to me. Look out for your self.” He was having hard time breathing. His eyes were glazing over.
There was no other choice. Draco struggled out of Blaise’s grasp and ran to the only person he thought who could help him out.
~`~
“Potter.” He yelled banging violently at the door. He was in his private chambers. “Come out.”
A dishevelled and confused Potter opened the door, but followed Draco hurriedly none the less.
“What’s wrong?” he asked pulling on his invisibility cloak.
“You’ll see.” They were running down the stairs, still trying to keep as quiet as possible.
When Draco reached his rooms he paused for a moment.
“I’m right behind you,” Harry said from under the cloak.
Draco nodded and opened the door. Entering his own bedroom hurriedly, he saw that Blaise was gone as was every sign that he was ever here.
~`~
Harry tried to quell Draco’s fears as much as he could but in the end resorted to making the blond down a sleeping potion. As Draco lay silently in his bed, Harry pulled on his cloak and removed the marauder’s map from his pocket. He walked out of the room searching the map for Blaise. There was no trace of him.
~`~
Draco awoke with a disorienting feeling in the pit of his stomach and realized that he wasn’t alone.
“Blaise?”
The boy smiled and nodded.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.” Draco answered hastily, a deep frown appearing on his face. “I’m more worried about you.”
Blaise laughed.
“Potter told me about that. You still aren’t on about it are you?”
“What?”
“Potter came to me last night and told me you were worried about me. That supposedly you thought I was injured.”
“You were.” Draco said, his voice increasing.
Blaise shook his head. “No. First of all I didn’t even see you last night. I was with Parkinson all through. Second of all I was never injured.”
“So when I saw you last night…?”
“You imagined it.”
Draco still felt unbelievably disoriented.
“Are you okay, Draco? I’ve been worried about you lately.
Draco just stared at him.
~`~
“Do you think I was imagining it, Potter?” Harry was lounging lazily in an armchair while Draco lay on the couch. The two were back in the Shrieking Shack. It was a Sunday afternoon and neither of them had anywhere else to go.
Frown lines were deeply apparent on his face as he mulled over the situation. “I don’t know. What was it that he said to you before you left?”
“He told me to stay away from him.”
“But didn’t he first tell you to not leave him?”
“Yes.” There was a long pause before Draco let out a frustrated pause. “I don’t understand any of this.” He rubbed his eyes brutally. “None of this makes any sense at all.”
Harry laughed. “Welcome to my world.”
~`~
Speaking to Harry had become so normal in the last few weeks. Some how their meetings had become an integral part of Draco’s day. Yet they never questioned their motives of their friendship. It was as if they only thought about each other when they were in the Shrieking Shack together. They began to routinely meet at midnight in the shack where they would unload their burdens. They spoke about so many things yet there were some subjects that they refused to bring up. One of them was Voldemort. They just never spoke of him. But Harry Potter decided to break that rule the next day. It was the Monday night after the Blaise occurrence and the two were seated in the living room in silence. Draco had closed his eyes and was resting his forehead against the back of the sofa. Harry couldn’t help but look at him. There were so many things he always wondered about the blond. So many things he had no idea about and wasn’t allowed to question.
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
Draco didn’t open his eyes, but nodded none the less.
“If you had the choice, would you still join Voldemort instead of Dumbledore?”
He opened his eyes slowly; an expression of surprise was evident on his face. But he didn’t answer.
~`~
That night as Draco lay in his bed pondering Harry’s question, he realized that his answer wasn’t what he had expected at all.
~`~
TBC…
Chapter-12
The Loss
The war was over. The bloodstains had been washed away, and the battlefields
sectioned off, left to become tokens of newfound history. The soldiers had returned home
and families had been reunited, those dead had been honored and were far away from
being forgotten. The Finnegan family took their son back to Ireland where he was buried
in his hometown. Since then, on the anniversary of the battle’s end, the whole town
gathered to honor their beloved son who had fallen to the inevitable fate of death. Neville
Longbottom had been buried in the family plot besides his late grand mother. Not long
after, his parents joined him. That had been the end of the Longbottom line. Ginny
Weasley was also buried in the Weasley family plot, devastating her loved ones. Ronald
Weasley was now the only survivor from all those who were captured and taken to
Voldemort’s fort
Yet the World was still in mourning. Harry Potter, the hero, the savior had also been put
to rest in peace. A week ago services had ended for his funeral. Now he
was left to rest in silence, remembered in the daily life of every witch or wizard.
And now, as the spells of December swept the earth under her cloak, Draco Malfoy found
himself alone in the Malfoy-Potter Manchester home. He now was three and a half
months pregnant.
However, more tragedy struck as a week after his return to their home the Hogwarts
nurse along with the headmaster paid a visit unexpectedly.
As they finished their accounts of the problem and stood up to take their leave Draco
Malfoy stared at them shocked. He stood quietly and saw them to the exit. The door
closed silently behind them and the house fell into silence once more. Draco Malfoy
walked into the living room and slowly collapsed on to the sofa his hands shaking and his
heart breaking.
Fate was taking away the last thing he had left in this life.
On the center table lay the medical reports that explained why Draco Malfoy could not
carry this child.
He had lost everything.
End of Chapter-12
Tell me what you think of the change