prompt 180, erectile dysfunction, The Cock Didn't Crow
Title --The Cock Didn't Crow
Author-- cornerofmadness
series -- manga/FMA:B
Disclaimer -- Arakawa is probably scowling at me for this one
Rating -- PG-13
Characters/Pairing -- Ed, Roy, Al and Chris (implied Roy/Riza, Ed/Winry)
Timeline/Spoilers -- post series
Word Count -- 500
Warning -- sex talk, or more appropriated failed sex talk
Summary -- Be careful of who you tease
Author’s Note -- Once you get these boys talking about it, they wouldn't shut up. There'll definitely be a longer version post contest. I hope I didn't cut out so much that this feels choppy
XXX
"He just won't shut up." Ed dropped his head down on the pitted surface of the bar.
Al slapped his back. "It is sort of funny."
Ed punched his brother. "Is not. Besides, it happens to every guy eventually."
"It's never happened to me," Al replied, the smugness of his tone warranting another blind punch.
"Of all times for him to be outside the house, it would be when Winry was talking about that! Why did I even invite him out?"
"Same reason as always, to talk alchemy."
"Are you in that position so you can more clearly see if the little bean is working?" Roy sat next to Al.
"Die, jackass. Just why did you have to come on the early train and be outside just in time to hear that?" Ed picked his head up off the bar, flushing. Winry had finally felt ready to have sex again after the baby, but Ed had been just so damn tired that things hadn't gone as planned, and now that Mustang knew, he'd never have peace.
"Because the fates finally owed me one." Mustang smirked.
"You look like you could use a drink." An older, heavyset woman sidled up to Ed. "We don't allow fighting in here."
"You obviously don't know Mustang, or you'd understand the urge to punch his face in," Ed huffed.
"Roy-boy, are you misbehaving again?" The woman went around the bar and took Ed's mug to refill.
"I'm the paragon of gentlemanly behavior. He's still mad that I overheard a secret."
"And it's weeks later and you're still tormenting me."
"Not too much more alcohol for him, Madam. He's already a bit floppy." Roy dangled a finger back and forth.
"I don't have a problem. I was tired, but shithead is having too much fun with it." Ed glared at Roy.
"So would knowing a secret even the score?" she asked.
"Don't you dare!" Roy protested.
"Absolutely," Ed said and Al wagged his head.
"Roy's had that same problem before."
"Madam!"
She waved him off. "He decided to lose his virginity with an older girl and was so nervous it was a complete flop, pun intended."
Roy buried his face in his hands.
"On the second try, he took no chances, used aphrodisiac recipes, ate a mess of asparagus in basil sauce, figs wrapped in ham and several tins of imported oysters I had for customers. Unfortunately, a tin had gone off and he ended up puking all over her bed. Then I found out about it and grounded him for a month."
Ed burst out laughing as Mustang groaned. Al held up a hand. "Wait? Grounded?"
"My aunt failed to mention I was thirteen. Hell, not all the parts were entirely hooked up yet. That doesn't count," Roy protested.
"Thirteen! You really are a pervert," Ed gasped between laughs.
"Better than what you were doing at thirteen."
"I didn't even have a penis at thirteen," Al muttered.
"Thank you, Madam, I'll never hear the end of this," Roy groaned.
Author-- cornerofmadness
series -- manga/FMA:B
Disclaimer -- Arakawa is probably scowling at me for this one
Rating -- PG-13
Characters/Pairing -- Ed, Roy, Al and Chris (implied Roy/Riza, Ed/Winry)
Timeline/Spoilers -- post series
Word Count -- 500
Warning -- sex talk, or more appropriated failed sex talk
Summary -- Be careful of who you tease
Author’s Note -- Once you get these boys talking about it, they wouldn't shut up. There'll definitely be a longer version post contest. I hope I didn't cut out so much that this feels choppy
XXX
"He just won't shut up." Ed dropped his head down on the pitted surface of the bar.
Al slapped his back. "It is sort of funny."
Ed punched his brother. "Is not. Besides, it happens to every guy eventually."
"It's never happened to me," Al replied, the smugness of his tone warranting another blind punch.
"Of all times for him to be outside the house, it would be when Winry was talking about that! Why did I even invite him out?"
"Same reason as always, to talk alchemy."
"Are you in that position so you can more clearly see if the little bean is working?" Roy sat next to Al.
"Die, jackass. Just why did you have to come on the early train and be outside just in time to hear that?" Ed picked his head up off the bar, flushing. Winry had finally felt ready to have sex again after the baby, but Ed had been just so damn tired that things hadn't gone as planned, and now that Mustang knew, he'd never have peace.
"Because the fates finally owed me one." Mustang smirked.
"You look like you could use a drink." An older, heavyset woman sidled up to Ed. "We don't allow fighting in here."
"You obviously don't know Mustang, or you'd understand the urge to punch his face in," Ed huffed.
"Roy-boy, are you misbehaving again?" The woman went around the bar and took Ed's mug to refill.
"I'm the paragon of gentlemanly behavior. He's still mad that I overheard a secret."
"And it's weeks later and you're still tormenting me."
"Not too much more alcohol for him, Madam. He's already a bit floppy." Roy dangled a finger back and forth.
"I don't have a problem. I was tired, but shithead is having too much fun with it." Ed glared at Roy.
"So would knowing a secret even the score?" she asked.
"Don't you dare!" Roy protested.
"Absolutely," Ed said and Al wagged his head.
"Roy's had that same problem before."
"Madam!"
She waved him off. "He decided to lose his virginity with an older girl and was so nervous it was a complete flop, pun intended."
Roy buried his face in his hands.
"On the second try, he took no chances, used aphrodisiac recipes, ate a mess of asparagus in basil sauce, figs wrapped in ham and several tins of imported oysters I had for customers. Unfortunately, a tin had gone off and he ended up puking all over her bed. Then I found out about it and grounded him for a month."
Ed burst out laughing as Mustang groaned. Al held up a hand. "Wait? Grounded?"
"My aunt failed to mention I was thirteen. Hell, not all the parts were entirely hooked up yet. That doesn't count," Roy protested.
"Thirteen! You really are a pervert," Ed gasped between laughs.
"Better than what you were doing at thirteen."
"I didn't even have a penis at thirteen," Al muttered.
"Thank you, Madam, I'll never hear the end of this," Roy groaned.