(Untitled)

[memory_stone]

Title: Lighting, vortexes, and teenage girls don't mix
Author: lilypop8

Full Name (plus titles, if any): Alice Adams, Evangeline
Full Species: Stupideus Marysue-ii
Hair Color (include adjectives): N/A
Eye Color (include adjectives): N/A
Unusual Markings/Colorations: N/A
Special Possessions (if any): A stolen mirror, I guess
Which Gate It Comes From: The

Comments

[saphira112]

I think I need to go down, open up the trust drawer of sporks, and stab my own eyes out. JUST WHAT IN NINE HELLS WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE!?

One for horrible grammar, one for lack of an actual plot, one for canon raep (practically), one for horrible OC's *stabs the Mary Sues*, one for lack of respective for some of the English language, one for making my frustrating day even MORE frustrating with ridiculous idiocy, one for reminding me about a situation with a friend who is being fucking ridiculous by balancing four guys at once, and one for just make me go, "WTF?" in the first place. Five more for things I won't mention right now cause they're not as important...

That's roughly 13 or so, dude. Go back to grade school.

[memory_stone]

What really makes it sad is that there are 9 chapters of it. I mean... didn't they read all the other Sue stories with girls sucked into FMA from the real world? It never works!

And what's worse is... the summary mentions "EdxOC, EnvyxOC."
UGHHH. NONONOO. Can't people keep it to daydreams and RPs?!

The English isn't the worst I've seen, but it does have errors. Why can't people have others beta their fics or run a spell-check or... at least go back and fix it after people mention them!

Here's to hoping the OCs die.

[6eddingsfan90]

[[I've been listening to Star Trek audio whilst reading this. Right now Spock is saying it's illogical, and McCoy is agreeing with him, for once.]]

I agree with everything you said, plus one spork for the most pointless filler ever, and one for rotten swearing. Swearing doesn't bother me, but if you're going to use it, use it with STYLE.

[memory_stone]

I know, seriously. Swearing can add a nice flair of character, and can even be kind of endearing, but this author just makes her character look like a mean middle-school kid who just learned swear words and is experimenting with them.

[fai_believes]

“Are you sure?” Alice asked.

“No, we were just messin' with you. Get the fuck out.

LOLZ!!

This was just some ol' fashioned stupid. People have been writing these kind of sucked into the FMA worlds fics for years, all of them sucking serious ass, so I don't get how Suethors write still write them and think it's okay. Have they never read another fic in their lives?

[memory_stone]

LOL, glad you enjoyed that. XD

I know... and it's with all fandoms, too, so it's not like this is a unique thing that could have been missed if you're new to FMA. Not that it would be a good concept ANYWAY, but...

Yeah, nine chapters of this. I think the girl with ADD gets sucked into it, too. I mean, it said EdwardxOC and EnvyxOC, so I'm guessing the self-insert and her friend will pair up with them.

[6eddingsfan90]

I LOVE YOUR ICON.
8D

Also, I agree.

[memory_stone]

Wow, really?! ♥ Thanks!
-huggles to death- XD

Actually, this comment inspired me to do a quick late-night spork that I just posted up. So thank you. ^__^

[nabaroo]

wahhh, I haven't been back in a while. Looks like it started up again!

Obviously the electric company was sick of her bullshit.
Super lolz.