On love, loss, lies and other L words

[fnihost]

So Amy showed up at my apartment yesterday. I was shocked to see her, although I shouldn't have been because I told her to come pick up her mail. I guess just seeing her in person was a shock. It is amazing to me how I am able to bury my emotions. I can honestly say that I hadn't given our break-up much of a thought over the last couple of weeks. I

Comments

[ectohitch]

We need to hang out soon.

I find that since I've stopped, as a rule, dating women I meet at my shows, my life has improved greatly. Melissa was the first woman I started dating without her having any knowledge of that side, and while it didn't work out, it was a healthier relationship than I've had.

Seriously, man, people run into each other all the time, and you'll probably have a couple of failed starts before you find someone you really want to be with. Your best bet is to get out there and live instead of looking. Hang out some places you don't, and be the affable dude you are. Women aren't your kryptonite. They really aren't. I've seen you in genial flirt mode, and women freaking love you. Many many people asked me about "[my] friend" after that Cinci trip.

You're dynamic, you're likeable, and you're not a dick. You are going to be fine. Not looking for love is the best way to find it.

[johnnywar]

My problem is that I have something of a good idea of what's wrong with me, but I just don't know how to deal with it. Part of the problem is that somewhere down the line I figured out how to forcibly forget anything bothersome, so I have been burying a lot of the root causes for my problems

[shadywashere]

Liz and I will lend you our Wanna Be a Wiccan books.

[ectohitch]

Glad to know I can serve as a last resort -- don't worry, I'll show up.. in small doses. :-P

[johnnywar]

You know I love you.

I just have to fulfill your expectations of me.

Also, that remix song you sent me is stuck in my head.

[ravenclawvicki]

Ben,

You are seriously one of the most awesome people and I feel privileged to know you. You have always been nice to me and made me feel really welcoming when I was making friends with FNI people. And you didn't have to be nice to me at all, but you were, even though I was a shy and probably awkward freshman attending your show. So thanks.

Also, newsflash: everyone thinks you're hot. It's a fact. Deal with it!

[paisleycat]

You're cute and enjoyable and smart, and a guy. Lots of chicks dig that.

[fnihost]

Thanks all. While I wasn't really fishing for compliments so much as releasing the steam vent that is my mind, I appreciate the kind words. From time to time I will just spew a bunch of stuff in my head so that it doesn't physically manifest itself into chair throwing. I'm glad people were interested enough to not only read my ramblings, but comment on them. You guys are awesome.