Christmas Eve 2009
Cocoa
Originally uploaded by fobra7
1:11am
Got home a little while ago from midnight service at church.
Changed clothes, lit candles, made hot cocoa. Christmas music playing on the radio.
Just going to chronicle the holiday.
BearCandles
Originally uploaded by fobra7
I have spent Christmas by myself several times in the past, and they have been very enjoyable days.
Yes, I have been by myself on Christmas several times, but this is the first time I am spending Christmas alone. There is a big difference. Being by one's self is not the same as being alone.
And this is certainly my first Christmas alone after being convinced that I would never have to be alone again.
That hit me pretty hard in September when my birthday came around, and I was totally alone. There were a few people who sent me birthday greetings, and I was VERY appreciative of that. But I was caught unaware. i had no idea that I would be hit so badly.
I have decided to face this one by myself.
And I also want to re-claim the holiday for myself.
CandleSpinner
Originally uploaded by fobra7
So I have decorations set out, with lights on timers - so the Christmas tree is on in the morning when I get up and also when I walk in the door after work. I loaded all of my Christmas cd's onto my itunes and i have a Christmas mix on my ipod.
Tree
Originally uploaded by fobra7
Tonight I had Christmas Eve service at church. It went fine, and one elder member handed me a gift bag/present.
It was kind of magical. As I was leaving the house to go to church, I looked at the tree and thought that it was going to look exactly the same on Christmas morning. At least while I was teaching, students gave me gifts that I put under the tree and opened on Christmas morning. But this year there would be nothing. Now I have something there!! Just another example of the magic of the season!!
Lights1
Originally uploaded by fobra7
So far things are going OK. I had a little breakdown in the car, but now things are fine.
I had planned on a relaxing Christmas Eve.
Candles1
Originally uploaded by fobra7
I bought a duck for tomorrow's dinner of Duckling a l'Orange - and I'll have sweet potato, salad, and veggies. I've got cookies and pumpkin pie for dessert too! So I'll spend a good part of the day cooking and playing Christmas music. I've got a Netflix dvd and also instant play Netflix on my computer, so I've got some entertainment.
I even bought a carton of Egg Nog for lattes in the morning (and I'm actually having a cup of Egg Nog with Southern Comfort in it right now!!)
Lights2
Originally uploaded by fobra7
I'm sure I'll run into breakdown moments throughout the holidays.
But I need to move through this.