If I Can't Have You: Part 5
Title: If I Can't Have You: Part 5
Pairing: Kradam (Kris Allen and Adam Lambert)
Rating: NC-17 (for sexuality)
Summary: Adam is awfully excited to go work out. Kris wishes he didn't find out why.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
“Adam, Damien’s ready for you,” Danny called, a small towel slung around his neck.
“Oh, thanks man!” Adam answered, patting Danny’s shoulder as he ran passed him.
“I’ve never seen anyone so happy to go work out before,” Anoop laughed, before taking another sip from his water bottle.
Adam ran across the mansion to the gym, almost knocking Allison’s mother over as he rushed passed her.
“Sorry, mama!” he called back, with an apologetic wave.
She muttered something to herself in Spanish before continuing on to the kitchen.
Allison, Lil, and Megan were collecting their things when Adam ran into the gym. He stopped suddenly, taking a sharp breath. “Evening, ladies,” he said charmingly.
“We’re just leaving,” Megan assured him, with a wink and a squeeze of his forearm.
“Hey buddy, ready to get to work?” Damien asked, from the treadmill.
The girls let the door click shut behind them, Megan and Lil smiling knowingly between them. Allison skipped ahead to find something to eat back the calories she had just burned.
“Okay, how do you do that?” Matt asked, incredulously, as Scott made another basket.
“I’ve got mad skills, dude,” he quipped, and Kris and Matt laughed with him.
“Where’s Adam?” Matt asked. “I told him I was going to get him to make at least one shot while we were here, but he needs to actually come to the court to do it.”
“He’s in the gym,” Allison called, walking up to the guys, munching on a peanut butter sandwich.
“I’m hopeless,” Kris muttered, as Matt grabbed the ball from him yet again. “Baseball is definitely more my sport.”
“What position do you play? Short stop?” Matt teased, before running from him.
“Matt!,” Megan called. “Your sister texted me. She’s been trying to call you, something about your mom’s birthday?”
“Duty calls,” Matt quipped, as he passed the ball to Kris and headed out the door.
Everyone dispersed then, spreading out to different parts of the house to get some down-time.
Kris found himself walking in the direction of the gym, instead of the kitchen where he had told himself he was going. He stood outside the closed door, hands in his pockets, eyes closed. He could hear grunting coming from inside, and imagined Adam lifting weights, sweat glistening on his bare chest. He slowly turned the door knob and pushed the door open a crack. He could see Adam’s naked back where he sat on the bench. The view was blocked by the elliptical, so he crept in to get a better look.
Kris stopped dead, eyes and mouth wide open in shock. Adam’s hands were running down Damien’s muscular shoulders and biceps, nails scratching along the taught, black skin. Then his hands took Damien’s smooth, shaved head and pulled it closer to him, forcing Damien to take him deeper into his mouth. Adam’s head jerked back, a deep growl escaping his throat. He laid back on the bench, chest heaving, as Damien licked his lips. Kris turned to run out of the gym, but his sneaker squeaked on the floor and both men jerked to look at him. Adam’s fiery eyes made contact with Kris’, and he called his name as Kris ran out the door.
“What do you expect me to do?” Adam asked, as Kris walked into their bedroom later that evening. He had avoided Adam for the past hour, until Adam finally went upstairs alone. His hair was still wet from the shower, and he sat on his bed with his back against the headboard, hands behind his head, legs crossed at his ankles. His t-shirt and boxers were light, but he felt his body heat rising with his heart rate.
Kris came into the room and softly closed the door. He said nothing, just walked straight into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Adam immediately stood up and followed him, opened the bathroom door and walked in.
“What do you expect me to do?” he asked again, more insistently. Kris turned around from the countertop he was leaning on, and stared at him. “It’s just sex.”
“It’s never just sex,” Kris answered.
“Don’t throw your illusions of love and marriage and a baby carriage at me, honey. You might have your pretty wife come to town for conjugal visits every week, but I don’t have that luxury. I can’t go out and meet somebody. If I go out, pick someone up, it’ll be all over the tabloids. I’m too young to be George Michael.” Kris winced at Adam’s attempt to make him laugh.
“It’s just… cheap. Just…. What about….”
“Love?” Kris nodded. “The only man I’ve ever really loved is across town right now, probably with somebody else’s dick up his ass, so don’t lecture me about love, please and thank-you,” his voice was strained and harsh.
Kris cringed at Adam’s words.
Breathing deeply, Adam continued, “I’m sorry.” He leaned back against the counter, his arms crossed, staring ahead, eyes focused intently at a tiny scuff mark on the wall.
“You don’t need to apologize,” Kris muttered. “I get it. I was just… surprised,” Kris added, looking down.
“I’m going to bed,” Adam said, as he turned and left the bathroom, pulling the door hard behind him.
Walking to his bed, Adam kicked the mattress, shouting, “Fuck!” under his breath. He paced around the room, before pulling on some jeans and flip flops and running out of the room.
“I do understand,” Kris said, quietly, handing him a sweater, a short time later. Adam startled at the interruption to his solitary brooding. He looked up at Kris from the lounge chair, gratefully taking the sweater and pulling it on. “I do. Really,” Kris added.
Adam laughed softly, smiling as Kris took a seat in his usual chair. They sat together like that for some time, silence surrounding them but for the hum of the pump in the pool and the chirping of the crickets.
“I don’t blame him,” Kris spoke, breaking the silence.
“Huh?”
“Damien. I don’t blame him,” Kris smirked. He was relieved to hear the rumble of Adam’s laughter and knew they would be okay again.
He also knew that, to his surprise, it wasn’t the fact that Adam had found some company that bothered him. His beliefs about love and marriage and sex and God had taken some hits in recent months, anyway. When Adam left Kris in the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, Kris took himself in hand. His only thoughts were of Adam, Adam’s naked body and Adam’s throaty groans and Adam’s taste that he could only imagine, and he knew then that it was the fact that it had been someone else touching him and making him that satisfied that really bothered him. And he knew that he would have to do something about it soon, or go crazy.
Pairing: Kradam (Kris Allen and Adam Lambert)
Rating: NC-17 (for sexuality)
Summary: Adam is awfully excited to go work out. Kris wishes he didn't find out why.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
“Adam, Damien’s ready for you,” Danny called, a small towel slung around his neck.
“Oh, thanks man!” Adam answered, patting Danny’s shoulder as he ran passed him.
“I’ve never seen anyone so happy to go work out before,” Anoop laughed, before taking another sip from his water bottle.
Adam ran across the mansion to the gym, almost knocking Allison’s mother over as he rushed passed her.
“Sorry, mama!” he called back, with an apologetic wave.
She muttered something to herself in Spanish before continuing on to the kitchen.
Allison, Lil, and Megan were collecting their things when Adam ran into the gym. He stopped suddenly, taking a sharp breath. “Evening, ladies,” he said charmingly.
“We’re just leaving,” Megan assured him, with a wink and a squeeze of his forearm.
“Hey buddy, ready to get to work?” Damien asked, from the treadmill.
The girls let the door click shut behind them, Megan and Lil smiling knowingly between them. Allison skipped ahead to find something to eat back the calories she had just burned.
“Okay, how do you do that?” Matt asked, incredulously, as Scott made another basket.
“I’ve got mad skills, dude,” he quipped, and Kris and Matt laughed with him.
“Where’s Adam?” Matt asked. “I told him I was going to get him to make at least one shot while we were here, but he needs to actually come to the court to do it.”
“He’s in the gym,” Allison called, walking up to the guys, munching on a peanut butter sandwich.
“I’m hopeless,” Kris muttered, as Matt grabbed the ball from him yet again. “Baseball is definitely more my sport.”
“What position do you play? Short stop?” Matt teased, before running from him.
“Matt!,” Megan called. “Your sister texted me. She’s been trying to call you, something about your mom’s birthday?”
“Duty calls,” Matt quipped, as he passed the ball to Kris and headed out the door.
Everyone dispersed then, spreading out to different parts of the house to get some down-time.
Kris found himself walking in the direction of the gym, instead of the kitchen where he had told himself he was going. He stood outside the closed door, hands in his pockets, eyes closed. He could hear grunting coming from inside, and imagined Adam lifting weights, sweat glistening on his bare chest. He slowly turned the door knob and pushed the door open a crack. He could see Adam’s naked back where he sat on the bench. The view was blocked by the elliptical, so he crept in to get a better look.
Kris stopped dead, eyes and mouth wide open in shock. Adam’s hands were running down Damien’s muscular shoulders and biceps, nails scratching along the taught, black skin. Then his hands took Damien’s smooth, shaved head and pulled it closer to him, forcing Damien to take him deeper into his mouth. Adam’s head jerked back, a deep growl escaping his throat. He laid back on the bench, chest heaving, as Damien licked his lips. Kris turned to run out of the gym, but his sneaker squeaked on the floor and both men jerked to look at him. Adam’s fiery eyes made contact with Kris’, and he called his name as Kris ran out the door.
“What do you expect me to do?” Adam asked, as Kris walked into their bedroom later that evening. He had avoided Adam for the past hour, until Adam finally went upstairs alone. His hair was still wet from the shower, and he sat on his bed with his back against the headboard, hands behind his head, legs crossed at his ankles. His t-shirt and boxers were light, but he felt his body heat rising with his heart rate.
Kris came into the room and softly closed the door. He said nothing, just walked straight into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Adam immediately stood up and followed him, opened the bathroom door and walked in.
“What do you expect me to do?” he asked again, more insistently. Kris turned around from the countertop he was leaning on, and stared at him. “It’s just sex.”
“It’s never just sex,” Kris answered.
“Don’t throw your illusions of love and marriage and a baby carriage at me, honey. You might have your pretty wife come to town for conjugal visits every week, but I don’t have that luxury. I can’t go out and meet somebody. If I go out, pick someone up, it’ll be all over the tabloids. I’m too young to be George Michael.” Kris winced at Adam’s attempt to make him laugh.
“It’s just… cheap. Just…. What about….”
“Love?” Kris nodded. “The only man I’ve ever really loved is across town right now, probably with somebody else’s dick up his ass, so don’t lecture me about love, please and thank-you,” his voice was strained and harsh.
Kris cringed at Adam’s words.
Breathing deeply, Adam continued, “I’m sorry.” He leaned back against the counter, his arms crossed, staring ahead, eyes focused intently at a tiny scuff mark on the wall.
“You don’t need to apologize,” Kris muttered. “I get it. I was just… surprised,” Kris added, looking down.
“I’m going to bed,” Adam said, as he turned and left the bathroom, pulling the door hard behind him.
Walking to his bed, Adam kicked the mattress, shouting, “Fuck!” under his breath. He paced around the room, before pulling on some jeans and flip flops and running out of the room.
“I do understand,” Kris said, quietly, handing him a sweater, a short time later. Adam startled at the interruption to his solitary brooding. He looked up at Kris from the lounge chair, gratefully taking the sweater and pulling it on. “I do. Really,” Kris added.
Adam laughed softly, smiling as Kris took a seat in his usual chair. They sat together like that for some time, silence surrounding them but for the hum of the pump in the pool and the chirping of the crickets.
“I don’t blame him,” Kris spoke, breaking the silence.
“Huh?”
“Damien. I don’t blame him,” Kris smirked. He was relieved to hear the rumble of Adam’s laughter and knew they would be okay again.
He also knew that, to his surprise, it wasn’t the fact that Adam had found some company that bothered him. His beliefs about love and marriage and sex and God had taken some hits in recent months, anyway. When Adam left Kris in the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, Kris took himself in hand. His only thoughts were of Adam, Adam’s naked body and Adam’s throaty groans and Adam’s taste that he could only imagine, and he knew then that it was the fact that it had been someone else touching him and making him that satisfied that really bothered him. And he knew that he would have to do something about it soon, or go crazy.