Thoughts Of You
Title: Thoughts Of You
Pairing: Hangeng/Kyuhyun
Rating: 15
Words: 1906
Summary: You twirled, jumped and spun right into my life.
A/N: inspired by “Thoughts of you” - Ryan Woodward Art. Written for 100 Suju Fanfic - prompt: 037. Rotation - Archive here
Lying here motionless in bed, all I can think about is you. You with that beautiful smile, soft brown eyes so earnest and graceful, when you’re dancing like it’s something you need like breathing. In that moment your heart is open for everyone to see, if they are willing to see or able to read, then they can see and discover many precious treasures inside.
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on
I was not willing, I was blind. I was spoiled, a stubborn and selfish brat on top of that, dragged to the opening night of a ballet performance of one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world (as they told me over and over) to meet distinguished investors who would be essential to my future development. For which I didn’t care the slightest.
I actually didn’t have a care in the world, coming from a well-off family who had the rest of his life already planned out for him. I spend my days being taught about things they thought were important in life from history, mathematics, languages, cultural heritage to etiquette and business. Being groomed and molded into their perfection, to fit into their world. A world wherein status, money and knowing the right people mattered the most; to flaunt and to appease just at the right moments and with the right people. It all seemed too shallow for me, that world was just cold and rigid, self-serving which made me indifferent to all. I would rather lock myself up within the confines of my room to play the day away on my computer, where I can at least find some camaraderie even if it’s playing against others, while I’m deploying my troops against the Zerg*.
That was until you twirled, jumped and spun right into my life and made all the walls, I built to maintain my indifference to the world, tumble down. The moment the curtains opened I was still staring into space with my thoughts anywhere but where I was. A soft enchanting melody of a violin was being played which started slowly, but the tempo picked up while the group of ballet dancers moved to make some space at the center. There was a second of hushed silence, I was inexplicably drawn to watch the stage and under the spotlight appeared a male dancer dressed a bit different than the rest. The music started again, only this time the melody was more intense with deep bass drums sounding below the flooring. With the beat sounding in my ears, watching each step, each twirl, the elongating of elegant long limbs, graceful movements and jumps light as air, it was mesmerizing. I couldn’t take my eyes of the beauty that was you and in that moment you already found a way into my heart.
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on
When the performance was finished there was a thunderous applause and it shook me out of my reverie. I wanted nothing more than to find out more about that one dancer. My parents pulled me with them out to the hall were drinks and appetizers were served to meet more people of who they thought were important for me to meet, but my head and heart was with that dancer still. After a round of shaking hands, giving compliments and receiving them, I was led to a group of investors whom I was supposed to meet that evening. They were standing around a person talking animatedly and when I approached with my parents they stopped to greet us. While exchanging introductions, my eyes fell on one particular person standing beside one of the investors. Noticing my stare, the man stepped forward and led the man towards us, “I think you haven’t met. This is Han Geng, one of the most promising dancers of the night.” Turning to the dancer and giving him a subtle nudge to urge him on “Say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Cho and their son Cho Kyuhyun”.
“Nice to meet your Sir, Madam and Kyuhyun-sshi”, he uttered softly almost too soft to hear, probably afraid or unsure about his accent or pronunciation. But all I heard was how sweet and smooth his voice was, which enchanted me on the spot. I was really eager to hear him talk to me only. Before I had gathered my courage to greet him as well, he was already whisked away to meet other important people. He was being led around like some sort of price. I watched him some more, lost in thought, until my parents decided to go home. And the weeks following this event I just couldn’t get the image of that gorgeous foreign dancer out of my head.
Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on
Weeks went by. Days filled again with the daily boring routine that was my life, but everything seemed even bleaker than before. Only when I was immersed in the world of online gaming did I forget and could I stop my mind from conjuring up possible scenarios of how I would meet the dancer again. Then one day another invite to an important event was shoved down my throat at least that is what it always feels like. Being put in a suit and like a monkey bodily pulled by a strong invisible string to all kinds of places my parents think I should appear to teach me, to show me off. I take a deep sigh, leaning against the bar, scanning the crowd while taking a sip of my champagne. Nothing interesting to see, my thoughts wandering, until I’m broken out of my reverie by a soft smooth accented “We meet again”. Turning to the source of the voice, my eyes widen at the sight of the man who has been occupying my mind since the night I met him weeks ago and now he’s standing only a few inches away from me. His beautiful gentle-looking almond-shaped eyes looking into mine, I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks. We talked and talked about everything and anything until the crowd slowly started to dissipate. I didn’t even notice, until my parents came to me and practically had to drag me away from him to go home, but not before I felt something being put into my hand and I held onto it tightly like my life depended on it.
I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still
When I got home, I immediately went to my room and made an attempt to read the contents of the piece of paper that Han Geng put into my hands. Folding it slowly open, I felt my heartbeat speeding up in anticipation. It was hurriedly scribbled on, I remember, but I didn’t even take notice of it at the moment, because it said on the paper to meet him at ten pm the following Saturday at a park behind Kyle’s bar. The whole week passed by like a blur, because I was anticipating the meeting so much that my head felt like it was floating on clouds. When the faithful day finally arrived, I almost couldn’t contain my heart. It was beating overtime, while I was making my way over to the appointed place. When I was nearing the entrance to the park I immediately spotted the familiar figure of him leaning against the fencing which goes around the park. I tried to steady my heart and the butterflies which were raging through my stomach, while I slowly approached the stunning man. “Hi”, was all I could say when he looked up and my eyes met his, all words seemed to be stuck in my throat. We seemed to enter a world of our own, a world where only the two of us matter. All I could feel was his lips on mine and everything after that was like a sweet dream.
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on
We kept on meeting each other in secret in the dark hours of the night. First we would just start seeing each other for a couple of hours, because it was better to always return to our respective homes before dawn. Though the more often we met, the harder it got for me to leave his warm embrace and go home to my cold bed. I have come to love him and have never felt more complete and I know he feels the same way, but we both know as well that it may not last forever. It’s just a matter of time before they get discovered and then everything will maybe be lost. I was always prepared, prepared to fight for him, for us. But I was weak, a silly little boy, when it actually happened I couldn’t do a thing. One night I decided for us to meet at a more comfortable place for us to spend our time, I booked us a hotel room beforehand, and when we arrived he looking around the room impressed with the luxury the decorations. I pulled him with me to the bed and sat him down to poor him a glass of champagne so we could immediately start with enjoying our night together. But then he pulled me to him and when his lips met mine, all I could do was drown in the sweetness that is Han Geng. Things certainly escalated fast from there, pulling our clothes off in lightening speed, exploring each other’s body, we almost reached our moment of ecstasy when with a loud bang the door was thrown open and a group of big bulky man came in. They grabbed Han Geng and he began to struggle shouting that he didn’t want to go back. I was in shock and started to cover myself and was trying to make a grab for him, but when I tried I just got pushed back on the bed with a shove. I could only watch as they dragged him away when they knocked him unconscious. Then another man enters, the man who introduced you to Han Geng, and came threatingly towards me and said “Stay away from him, if you know what’s good for you… We are going to leave this city soon. Don’t go looking for him…You’ll never see him again”. I could only hear those sentences being repeated inside my head, my ears were roaring and I was frozen, I couldn’t do a thing, I didn’t know a thing and I didn’t do anything. He closed the door behind him and all was dark and I was alone again.
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.
*Starcraft reference - but not claiming to know anything about the game.