the origin of species
CHARACTER INFORMATION
Character Name: Chouji Akimichi
PB for your character: Seth Rogen
Character's sexuality: Straight, but he'd probably go out with a tree if it offered to buy him dinner first
Character's age: 23
Character's personality: Chouji Akimichi is a simple man with simple needs: good food and eating utensils with which to consume it. He was born an only child to supportive parents who loved their not-so-little boy just the way he was. So it was a bit of a shock when kindergarten rolled around and all of a sudden he was being assaulted on all sides by the dulcet tones of "HEY, FAT KID!" Chouji didn't really know what "fat" meant at first, but his stupid, brat classmates were happy to inform him. He handled it okay at first because his mom and dad said he was just big-boned and he'd grow into himself soon, but one day at recess Zachary Hamilton (that dickwad) called him Babar The Elephant and Chouji started crying - which is the last thing he remembered before a little blonde girl punched Zachary in the face and wrote L for Loser on his forehead with a pink highlighter. Chouji gave Ino his zebra cake from his lunchbox and they've inseparable ever since.
If Chouji's honest (and he usually is, cause he's a trustworthy dude like that), Ino's constant presence in his life was probably the reason he grew up feeling pretty okay with himself, 'cause you had to demand the respect you deserve and never wear pleated pants, Chouji, promise me and the fact the he didn't mind his heftier size seemed to make the people around him not mind his heftier size (that, and the fact that he would go fucking APESHIT if you said the "f" word - you know the one). And like his parents promised, he did sort of grow into it when he hit his growth spurt in the ninth grade and got picked up for the football team. And nobody calls a linebacker fat in high school if they want to live. But even while life was going so swimmingly, Chouji was harboring a dark secret, a secret so shameful and socially unacceptable to the teeming masses of the high school and football team and cheer squad and science club that he hid it from everyone but those he could trust with its knowledge (read: Ino and his mom): ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS COOK. Chouji loved food, loved it with a passion far greater than cheerleader uniforms or X-box death matches. His love was pure and untarnished as virgin winter snow. So as soon as he'd graduated, he picked up a job as a fry cook at The Cheesecake factory while going to college to study science (a hint: his Chemistry In The Kitchen prof said he'd never encountered a student with such enthusiasm), trying to get enough experience to do what he'd always dreamed of: become a real chef. Chouji just sent in his application for Le Cordon Bleu's campus in San Fransisco, but he didn't have the heart to ask his parents to pay for something that he knows they think is just a passing phase, and The Cheesecake Factory only pays line chefs (and occasionally waiters, when they are short-staffed, but the vests calls attention to his muffin top, which isn't cool) so much, so he called up his old bestie to ask how exactly she was paying for that mountain of overpriced purses.
It seemed like kind of an awesome idea. And he was sure there were some ladies out there looking for some quality time with a man who had a little meat on his bones - can you say niche market? Seriously, who wouldn't want a slice of this hunk of man cake? NO ONE, that's who. Chouji Akimichi, professional hot bun, had arrived.