"Relative Value" H/D, PG-13
Based on hd_flashfic's first challenge: Handshake.
I got bitten by a cute little plotbunny and decided, what the hey, I'll write this anyway!
Title: Relative Value
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: no beta
Summary: "Hello, my name is Bryce Jasper."
“Hello, my name is Bryce Jasper.”
“Harry Potter,” Harry said with a smile, and shook the man’s hand. He’s learned that the best way to deal with random strangers introducing themselves was to be as vaguely polite as possible. Being anything else would only get him loads of trouble. Either the Daily Prophet would speculate on how he’s become a snobbish recluse after the war, or Witch Weekly would claim he was cheating on Draco.
Harry didn’t really mind being called a snob, but it took only two articles of the latter variety to teach him how to properly behave in these situations. It was a matter of self-preservation.
“Just wanted to say how grateful I am you got rid of You-Know-Who,” Jasper said earnestly, clasping Harry’s hand with both of his and pumping it vigorously. Harry kept his smile and ignored the way Draco had stilled beside him in the train car. “Married a Muggleborn, y’know, and I thought, well, I thought me and the missus would be next. Named our firstborn after you. Have to say Harriet would be quite disappointed she didn’t get a chance to meet you. Say, you wouldn’t happen to mind, that is, if it’s not too much trouble-“ Jasper abruptly let go and began patting down his robes.
Harry resisted the urge to wipe his hand on his trousers; Jasper’s hands had been uncomfortably moist.
“Aha!” Jasper exclaimed, and produced a Chocolate Frog card with Harry’s face on it. “Would you, please-“
“Of course, I’d be happy to,” Harry said, reaching for the card and taking out a biro from his pocket. “I'll make it out to ‘Harriet,' then?”
Jasper fidgeted and coughed. “Um, no, just your signature would be fine.”
Harry signed his name and handed the card back to the frumpy looking man. After a few stuttered thank-you’s, Jasper finally left the cabin as quickly as he’d entered it. Harry sighed and leaned back on his seat, rubbing the hand Jasper shook on the seat-covers.
“You do realize that there probably isn’t a Harriet Jasper out there, don’t you?”
“What?” Harry asked, frowning at Draco.
Draco rolled his eyes. “Merlin, you’re dense. If you’d written someone’s name on that card it wouldn’t be worth the cost of another Chocolate Frog, but with just your signature it’s become a collector’s item. I’d bet you the Malfoy diamonds that it’s going to be up for sale as soon as this train stops at London.”
“Oh,” Harry said, and suddenly all those people asking for autographs not to be addressed to anyone made a lot more sense. Then Harry noticed that Draco was sulking.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked.
Draco didn’t look up from feeding Hedwig owl treats through the bars of her cage. “Nothing.”
“Okay.” Harry shrugged and went back to his notes on the job they’d just finished in Hogsmeade.
“You shook his hand,” Draco said, several minutes later.
“Hmm, who’s hand?” Using the blinking fairy lights to hide messages in was pretty clever way of communication; Harry had to give MacNair credit for that.
“That man. Jasper!”
Harry looked up, genuinely confused. “So what?”
Draco glared at him in that way Harry recognized meant that Draco was embarrassed about something. “You shook his hand,” he gritted out, “you’ve never once shook mine.”
Harry raised his eyebrows and wondered what the hell his boyfriend was going on about now. But seeing as Draco looked like he was close to punching Harry in the face, Harry decided not to ask. Instead he kissed Draco until Draco ended up sitting on his lap and looking smug.
“So I shook his hand,” Harry murmured, running finger softly across Draco’s lips. He gave Draco his most winsome smile. “I suck your cock, don’t I?”
In hindsight, Harry realized this was probably not the right thing to say.
*
“Harry! Harry! Over here,” Tonks called out cheerfully, Shacklebolt at her side. “How was your tri-Harry, why are you walking backwards?”
Harry turned awkwardly to face them. “Story long a it’s.”
**
I got bitten by a cute little plotbunny and decided, what the hey, I'll write this anyway!
Title: Relative Value
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: no beta
Summary: "Hello, my name is Bryce Jasper."
“Hello, my name is Bryce Jasper.”
“Harry Potter,” Harry said with a smile, and shook the man’s hand. He’s learned that the best way to deal with random strangers introducing themselves was to be as vaguely polite as possible. Being anything else would only get him loads of trouble. Either the Daily Prophet would speculate on how he’s become a snobbish recluse after the war, or Witch Weekly would claim he was cheating on Draco.
Harry didn’t really mind being called a snob, but it took only two articles of the latter variety to teach him how to properly behave in these situations. It was a matter of self-preservation.
“Just wanted to say how grateful I am you got rid of You-Know-Who,” Jasper said earnestly, clasping Harry’s hand with both of his and pumping it vigorously. Harry kept his smile and ignored the way Draco had stilled beside him in the train car. “Married a Muggleborn, y’know, and I thought, well, I thought me and the missus would be next. Named our firstborn after you. Have to say Harriet would be quite disappointed she didn’t get a chance to meet you. Say, you wouldn’t happen to mind, that is, if it’s not too much trouble-“ Jasper abruptly let go and began patting down his robes.
Harry resisted the urge to wipe his hand on his trousers; Jasper’s hands had been uncomfortably moist.
“Aha!” Jasper exclaimed, and produced a Chocolate Frog card with Harry’s face on it. “Would you, please-“
“Of course, I’d be happy to,” Harry said, reaching for the card and taking out a biro from his pocket. “I'll make it out to ‘Harriet,' then?”
Jasper fidgeted and coughed. “Um, no, just your signature would be fine.”
Harry signed his name and handed the card back to the frumpy looking man. After a few stuttered thank-you’s, Jasper finally left the cabin as quickly as he’d entered it. Harry sighed and leaned back on his seat, rubbing the hand Jasper shook on the seat-covers.
“You do realize that there probably isn’t a Harriet Jasper out there, don’t you?”
“What?” Harry asked, frowning at Draco.
Draco rolled his eyes. “Merlin, you’re dense. If you’d written someone’s name on that card it wouldn’t be worth the cost of another Chocolate Frog, but with just your signature it’s become a collector’s item. I’d bet you the Malfoy diamonds that it’s going to be up for sale as soon as this train stops at London.”
“Oh,” Harry said, and suddenly all those people asking for autographs not to be addressed to anyone made a lot more sense. Then Harry noticed that Draco was sulking.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked.
Draco didn’t look up from feeding Hedwig owl treats through the bars of her cage. “Nothing.”
“Okay.” Harry shrugged and went back to his notes on the job they’d just finished in Hogsmeade.
“You shook his hand,” Draco said, several minutes later.
“Hmm, who’s hand?” Using the blinking fairy lights to hide messages in was pretty clever way of communication; Harry had to give MacNair credit for that.
“That man. Jasper!”
Harry looked up, genuinely confused. “So what?”
Draco glared at him in that way Harry recognized meant that Draco was embarrassed about something. “You shook his hand,” he gritted out, “you’ve never once shook mine.”
Harry raised his eyebrows and wondered what the hell his boyfriend was going on about now. But seeing as Draco looked like he was close to punching Harry in the face, Harry decided not to ask. Instead he kissed Draco until Draco ended up sitting on his lap and looking smug.
“So I shook his hand,” Harry murmured, running finger softly across Draco’s lips. He gave Draco his most winsome smile. “I suck your cock, don’t I?”
In hindsight, Harry realized this was probably not the right thing to say.
*
“Harry! Harry! Over here,” Tonks called out cheerfully, Shacklebolt at her side. “How was your tri-Harry, why are you walking backwards?”
Harry turned awkwardly to face them. “Story long a it’s.”
**