it's about that time.

[foolsetonfire]

i got this horribly depressing voicemail from my father today, just listen to this:

(in a very morose voice)
i've had a terrible day. i just, i lost playing golf with jim bond this morning, and then i got in a car accident on the way home, and then i got back here and the shed was on fire. all the emergency people they came out and they put the

Comments

jenny

[anonymous]

fuck you i hate jokes

good news! you're having my baby!

[foolsetonfire]

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."

None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.

"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

i guess what i'm trying to say is...i agree with you. and that joke was after searching like 20 different internet pages.

[anonymous]

He was so proud of himself. He was like, "DID YOU HEAR WHAT I DID TO JULIA?!?!?!" I had told him before that I needed to go into rehab. I found it a lot funnier than he did. I guess burning tea sheds make for better jokes?
Galletas? Juegos de video?

[foolsetonfire]

when i called him back we laughed and laughed without talking for at least two minutes.

[thisisuncalled4]

got me...

[foolsetonfire]

definitely got me too. what a jerk.