WOULD YOU SURVIVE A HORROR STORY?!
SO THE INTERNET CAN TELL ME EVERYTHING FROM MY ONE TRUE LOVE'S (HUH!) NAME, TO MY IDEAL CAREER, HUH?
WELL I THINK THE INTERNET IS AS FULL OF SHIT AS CHAN. BUT I'M GONNA HUMOUR IT BY FILLING OUT ONE OF THE MORE LESS CRAP QUIZZES.
QUESTION 1: YOU'RE ALONE AT NIGHT AND YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THE WINDOW BREAKING COMING FROM UPSTAIRS. YOU' DON'T HAVE ANY PETS OR ANYONE ELSE IN THE HOUSE. YOU WOULD...
A) BEND (OR OTHERWISE CONSTRUCT FOR YOURSELF) AN UNDERGROUND BUNKER TO HIDE IN.
B) SCREAM AND HIDE UNDER THE SOFA
C) ARM YOURSELF WITH YOUR WEAPON OF CHOICE AND SEE WHAT MADE THE SOUND.>
D) GO UPSTAIRS UNARMED.
QUESTION 2: YOU'RE RUNNING FROM A MONSTER AND YOU TRIP. YOU WOULD...
A) SURRENDER.
B) GET BACK UP AND KEEP RUNNING.
C) LIE THERE AND SCREAM.
D) ASK IT IF YOU CAN BE ITS PERSONAL SLAVE.
E) START CRYING AND BEGGING FOR MERCY.
T FOR TOPH) KICK ITS ASS. DUH. SRSLY, WHAT IS ALL THIS CRYING AND MERCY BULLSHIT?
QUESTION 3: YOUR CART/BISON/SHIP/DUBIOUSLY-OBTAINED OSTRICH-HORSE BREAKS DOWN IN A STORM. YOU WOULD...
A) WALK
B) SEEK SHELTER AT A SEEDY BAR. SEEING AS I PROBABLY OWN THE SEEDY BAR.
C) STAY WITH THE CART/BISON/SHIP/DUBIOUSLY-OBTAINED OSTRICH-HORSE.
D) GET AWAY FROM THE CART/BISON/SHIP AND SEEK SHELTER IN A CONVENIENTLY UNATTENDED HOUSE.
QUESTION 4: YOU'RE WITH ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IN A CREEPY INN OWNED BY A SUSPICIOUSLY FRIENDLY OLD WOMAN WITH A PUPPET FETISH WHEN ONE BY ONE YOUR FRIENDS START DISAPPEARING. YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE THE LAST ONES LEFT. HE/SHE/IT/FOETUS STARTS SPEAKING IN A VOICE THAT ISN'T HIS/HER/ITS/FOETUS'. YOU WOULD...
A) STEP AWAY AND GET READY TO KICK ASS.
B) SCREAM AND RUN.
C) LAUGH AND SAY "HAHAHA! VANTRILIQUISM!"
T FOR TOPH) HAVE ALREADY FIGURED OUT A LONG FUCKING TIME AGO THAT IT WASN'T HIM, AND HAVE ALREADY KICKED HIS ASS.
QUESTION 5: WHEN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARRIVE AT CONVENIENTLY UNATTENDED HOUSE #2, SOMEONE SEEMS TO HAVE PREPARED DINNER. AND ON A LITTLE CARD ON THE TABLE, IT SAYS "FOR THE GUESTS." YOU ARE HUNGRY AND YOU (FOR SOME COMPLETELY INNOCUOUS AND NOT AT ALL SUSPICIOUS REASON) CANNOT GET BACK OUT OF THE HOUSE TO GO TO BOSCO BURGER. COMPLETELY IGNORING THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOCKED INSIDE AN APPARENTLY UNATTENDED HOUSE, YOU WOULD...
A) DIG IN. WASTED FOOD IS TOO SAD A SIGHT.
B) TEST IT ON THE LEMUR/HAWK/LIZARD YOU EVER-SO-CONVENIENTLY BROUGHT WITH YOU INTO THE HOUSE, BEFORE DIGGING IN.
C) DON'T EAT IT. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT'S NOT QUITE A GIFT, BUT NOT CHALLENGING ENOUGH FOR THEFT.
QUESTION 6: ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS COMES INTO YOUR ROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND SAYS "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BALLS BLOOD I WANT TO KISS YOU." YOU WOULD...
A) LET THEM KISS YOU.
B) LAUGH, CUZ YOU'RE CLEARLY A GIRL-SANS-BALLS.
C) PUSH THEM AWAY AND SCREAM.
D) GET THE CONVENIENTLY PLACED STEAK STAKE FROM THE NIGHTSTAND AND JAB THEM IN THE CHEST.
T FOR TOPH) AVOID THE SITUATION ALTOGETHER AS YOU SLEEP IN A MOTHERFUCKING ROCK TENT WHICH CAN ONLY BE OPENED BY BENDING!
QUESTION 7: YOU'RE HOME ALONE AND THE LAMPS KEEP FLICKERING ON AND OFF OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YOU WOULD...
A) SCREAM AND SNUFF ALL THE LAMPS WITH YOUR BENDING. WHEN IT CONTINUES, YOU HIDE BEHIND THE COUCH.
B) LEAVE THE HOUSE IMMEDIATELY AND JUMP ON YOUR CART/BISON/SHIP/DUBIOUSLY-OBTAINED OSTRICH-HORSE.
C) START LAUGHING AND THINK YOU'RE SERVANTS ARE DOING IT WRONG.
T FOR TOPH) NOT NOTICE. LIGHT IS ONLY NECESSARY FOR WEAKER BEINGS.
QUESTION 8: YOU'RE ALL ALONE AND YOU HEAR SOMEONE KNOCKING ON THE DOOR. YOU WOULD...
A) ASK "WHO IS IT?"
B) OPEN THE DOOR. IT'S PROBABLY YOU'RE PARENTS
C) LOCK ALL THE DOORS AND WINDOWS AND GET YOUR BITCH-CUTTIN' KNIFE.
T FOR TOPH) ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS BECAUSE YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING TOPH, AND DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO LET THEM IN BASED ON HOW MUCH MONEY THEY OWE YOU.
QUESTION 9: BA SING SE'S TRAIN BREAKS DOWN AND YOU'RE STUCK IN THE WALL WITH NO LIGHTS AND AZULA A PSYCHOPATH ON THE TRAIN. WHAT DO YOU DO?
A) START CRYING.
B) START SCREAMING.
C) ARM YOURSELF, GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN TRAIN, AND BEND THE THING TO THE STATION YOURSELF.
D) FALL ASLEEP AND FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING.
QUESTION 10: YOU ARE LY8ING ON THE GROUND AND SOME BITCH IS HOVERING OVER YOU, READY TO KILL YOU. YOU...
A) KICK HIM IN THE BALLS AND RUN
B) SCREAM.
C) SURRENDER.
D) CRY.
T FOR TOPH) SINK INTO THE GROUND AND RESURFACE BEHIND HIM, ALL FREAKY AND SHIT. THEN KICK HIM IN THE BALLS.
RESULTS:
WELL, YOU MAY NOT BE THE FIRST TO DIE, BUT YOU'RE STILL PRETTY DUMB.
WTF?!
WTF?!
GUYS. HELP ME FIND THE INTERNET'S ASS. I NEED TO KICK IT.
WELL I THINK THE INTERNET IS AS FULL OF SHIT AS CHAN. BUT I'M GONNA HUMOUR IT BY FILLING OUT ONE OF THE MORE LESS CRAP QUIZZES.
QUESTION 1: YOU'RE ALONE AT NIGHT AND YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THE WINDOW BREAKING COMING FROM UPSTAIRS. YOU' DON'T HAVE ANY PETS OR ANYONE ELSE IN THE HOUSE. YOU WOULD...
A) BEND (OR OTHERWISE CONSTRUCT FOR YOURSELF) AN UNDERGROUND BUNKER TO HIDE IN.
B) SCREAM AND HIDE UNDER THE SOFA
C) ARM YOURSELF WITH YOUR WEAPON OF CHOICE AND SEE WHAT MADE THE SOUND.>
D) GO UPSTAIRS UNARMED.
QUESTION 2: YOU'RE RUNNING FROM A MONSTER AND YOU TRIP. YOU WOULD...
A) SURRENDER.
B) GET BACK UP AND KEEP RUNNING.
C) LIE THERE AND SCREAM.
D) ASK IT IF YOU CAN BE ITS PERSONAL SLAVE.
E) START CRYING AND BEGGING FOR MERCY.
T FOR TOPH) KICK ITS ASS. DUH. SRSLY, WHAT IS ALL THIS CRYING AND MERCY BULLSHIT?
QUESTION 3: YOUR CART/BISON/SHIP/DUBIOUSLY-OBTAINED OSTRICH-HORSE BREAKS DOWN IN A STORM. YOU WOULD...
A) WALK
B) SEEK SHELTER AT A SEEDY BAR. SEEING AS I PROBABLY OWN THE SEEDY BAR.
C) STAY WITH THE CART/BISON/SHIP/DUBIOUSLY-OBTAINED OSTRICH-HORSE.
D) GET AWAY FROM THE CART/BISON/SHIP AND SEEK SHELTER IN A CONVENIENTLY UNATTENDED HOUSE.
QUESTION 4: YOU'RE WITH ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IN A CREEPY INN OWNED BY A SUSPICIOUSLY FRIENDLY OLD WOMAN WITH A PUPPET FETISH WHEN ONE BY ONE YOUR FRIENDS START DISAPPEARING. YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE THE LAST ONES LEFT. HE/SHE/IT/FOETUS STARTS SPEAKING IN A VOICE THAT ISN'T HIS/HER/ITS/FOETUS'. YOU WOULD...
A) STEP AWAY AND GET READY TO KICK ASS.
B) SCREAM AND RUN.
C) LAUGH AND SAY "HAHAHA! VANTRILIQUISM!"
T FOR TOPH) HAVE ALREADY FIGURED OUT A LONG FUCKING TIME AGO THAT IT WASN'T HIM, AND HAVE ALREADY KICKED HIS ASS.
QUESTION 5: WHEN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARRIVE AT CONVENIENTLY UNATTENDED HOUSE #2, SOMEONE SEEMS TO HAVE PREPARED DINNER. AND ON A LITTLE CARD ON THE TABLE, IT SAYS "FOR THE GUESTS." YOU ARE HUNGRY AND YOU (FOR SOME COMPLETELY INNOCUOUS AND NOT AT ALL SUSPICIOUS REASON) CANNOT GET BACK OUT OF THE HOUSE TO GO TO BOSCO BURGER. COMPLETELY IGNORING THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOCKED INSIDE AN APPARENTLY UNATTENDED HOUSE, YOU WOULD...
A) DIG IN. WASTED FOOD IS TOO SAD A SIGHT.
B) TEST IT ON THE LEMUR/HAWK/LIZARD YOU EVER-SO-CONVENIENTLY BROUGHT WITH YOU INTO THE HOUSE, BEFORE DIGGING IN.
C) DON'T EAT IT. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT'S NOT QUITE A GIFT, BUT NOT CHALLENGING ENOUGH FOR THEFT.
QUESTION 6: ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS COMES INTO YOUR ROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND SAYS "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BALLS BLOOD I WANT TO KISS YOU." YOU WOULD...
A) LET THEM KISS YOU.
B) LAUGH, CUZ YOU'RE CLEARLY A GIRL-SANS-BALLS.
C) PUSH THEM AWAY AND SCREAM.
D) GET THE CONVENIENTLY PLACED STEAK STAKE FROM THE NIGHTSTAND AND JAB THEM IN THE CHEST.
T FOR TOPH) AVOID THE SITUATION ALTOGETHER AS YOU SLEEP IN A MOTHERFUCKING ROCK TENT WHICH CAN ONLY BE OPENED BY BENDING!
QUESTION 7: YOU'RE HOME ALONE AND THE LAMPS KEEP FLICKERING ON AND OFF OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YOU WOULD...
A) SCREAM AND SNUFF ALL THE LAMPS WITH YOUR BENDING. WHEN IT CONTINUES, YOU HIDE BEHIND THE COUCH.
B) LEAVE THE HOUSE IMMEDIATELY AND JUMP ON YOUR CART/BISON/SHIP/DUBIOUSLY-OBTAINED OSTRICH-HORSE.
C) START LAUGHING AND THINK YOU'RE SERVANTS ARE DOING IT WRONG.
T FOR TOPH) NOT NOTICE. LIGHT IS ONLY NECESSARY FOR WEAKER BEINGS.
QUESTION 8: YOU'RE ALL ALONE AND YOU HEAR SOMEONE KNOCKING ON THE DOOR. YOU WOULD...
A) ASK "WHO IS IT?"
B) OPEN THE DOOR. IT'S PROBABLY YOU'RE PARENTS
C) LOCK ALL THE DOORS AND WINDOWS AND GET YOUR BITCH-CUTTIN' KNIFE.
T FOR TOPH) ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS BECAUSE YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING TOPH, AND DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO LET THEM IN BASED ON HOW MUCH MONEY THEY OWE YOU.
QUESTION 9: BA SING SE'S TRAIN BREAKS DOWN AND YOU'RE STUCK IN THE WALL WITH NO LIGHTS AND AZULA A PSYCHOPATH ON THE TRAIN. WHAT DO YOU DO?
A) START CRYING.
B) START SCREAMING.
C) ARM YOURSELF, GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN TRAIN, AND BEND THE THING TO THE STATION YOURSELF.
D) FALL ASLEEP AND FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING.
QUESTION 10: YOU ARE LY8ING ON THE GROUND AND SOME BITCH IS HOVERING OVER YOU, READY TO KILL YOU. YOU...
A) KICK HIM IN THE BALLS AND RUN
B) SCREAM.
C) SURRENDER.
D) CRY.
T FOR TOPH) SINK INTO THE GROUND AND RESURFACE BEHIND HIM, ALL FREAKY AND SHIT. THEN KICK HIM IN THE BALLS.
RESULTS:
WELL, YOU MAY NOT BE THE FIRST TO DIE, BUT YOU'RE STILL PRETTY DUMB.
WTF?!
WTF?!
GUYS. HELP ME FIND THE INTERNET'S ASS. I NEED TO KICK IT.