No Ordinary LOve, Part 3, chapter 189
189
I walked into Sweetie and Vanessa’s lively chat in French sitting in front of Sweetie’s laptop. By the sound of Sweetie’s voice I knew she had found herself a new obsession. She was always like that. There were quite a few things that would get her attention and even less that would get her all wrapped in and keep her interested for a long time. The only ting was that when that happens she finds it really hard to let go and becomes instantly obsessed. Then she’d get crazy like a junkie needing more and more of her fix to make her feel good. But on the positive side, she never got obsessed about stupid shits but only those really great ones.
“Hey come check this out, love,” she instantly switched to English as she excitedly showed me to come join them. One thing I could never understand about her is how she manages to switch between so many languages at any given point without putting any real effort to it. even though I’m quite fluent in English but still it takes me few moments to set my mind into one or the other lanugae gear. It’s probably another thing she never knew anything of.
“We were searching for something on YouTube and ran into this. You’ll love it, trust me,” she spoke fast and pressed play as I nodded having no doubt in her words. Rarely had I disliked anything that would get her so worked up.
There was some guy fishing in the dark. Full moon on the sky as his rod starts jerking and he reels in excited, trying not fell off of his boat into the river or ocean whatever it was. Suddenly a big cloud of fog engulfed the boat and as it began to clear up the fisherman, who looked more like a simple sad loser. I mean only loser would say something like ‘come to papa Moon’ as he said to himself reeling in what turns up to be a very strange creature. Actually it seemed more like a transsexual with weird pink and black make up and see weed on his head as hair. That was enough to raise my interest. Only very crazy mind would come up with something like that and as the conversation began to unfold between looser Moon and tranny it only made me sure of it.
Tranny: “Hi, there”
Moon: “Who are you?”
Tranny: “I’m Old Gregg. Pleased to meet ya.”
Moon: “Whatya want?”
Tranny: “Maybe I should ask you the same question.Whatya doing in my waters?
Moon:”Just… taking the air, you know, not fishing.”
Trany:”Then how come this hooks in my hear, fool?”
Moon: “It’s nothing to do with me, sir.”
Tranny: “It’s attached to your rod, mothalicker.”
Moon: “Don’t kill me. I’ve got so much to give.”
Tranny: “Easy now fuzzy little man peach.Hmm. Ever drunk Bailies’ from a shoe?”
Moon: “What?”
Tranny: “Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?”
Moon: “Noo.”
Tranny: “I’m gonna hurt you.”
Moon: “Excuse me?”
Tranny: “I like you. what do you think of me?”
Moon: “I don’t really know, sir.”
Tranny: “Make an assessment.”
Moon: “I think you’re a nice m-modern gentlemen, sir.”
Tranny: “Don’t lie to me, boy.”
Moon: “I’m not lying.”
Tranny: “I know whatya thinkin’. Here comes Old Gregg. He’s a scary manfish. You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve got. (tranny stands up in the boat) I got something to show ya. (tranny grabs his ballering pink skirt and lifts it revealing flash of strong bright beam coming out from his crotch straight to Moon’s face) You know what that is?I saw an Old Gregg’s vagina! I got a mangina! I’m Old Greeeeeegg!!!”
We were all laughing hard by the Old Gregg’s second line and by the end of it we were crying our eyes out.
“That’s the most sickest genius thing I’ve ever seen,” I commented holding myself around my tummy that hurt bad of all the laughing. “Who the fuck are these guys?”
“The Mighty Boosh,” Sweetie returned giggling.
“Aka Vince Noir and Howard Moon aka Noeal Fielding and Jullian Barrat,” Vanessa added.
“Is there more of it?” I asked.
“Shitloads,” Sweetie returned. “Apparently, there’s loads of their material before Boosh, during Boosh, from DVD tours… Aren’t they amazing? Wasn’t that like the best comedy you’ve ever seen after Monthy Pyton and The Fast Show?”
She didn’t really need my confirmation but none the less she got it.
“They have these little totally nonsensical little childish raps they call crimps in that show,” Vanessa talked. “It’s so bunch of nothing and everything that you have to simply love it.”
“And they also have very short songs featured in each of the episode,” Sweetie added as she serched for a new video to play. “This one’s called Love Games,” and she pressed the play.
The funky song had that catchy rhythm in it and instantly makes you want to dance to it and even make yourself look like a complete fool while doing it. Especially when Howard sings his parts in Bee Gees falsetto, a sharp contrast to Old Greg’s kind of baritone.
I totally forgot I came up fom the basement to get some water for the guys waiting me down in the basement. Instead of going back there, I sat down on the floor and wanted to watch all the things Sweetie had dig up on the subject of Mighty Boosh.
The more I watched, the more I was getting addicted to it and needed more. They were like the best combination of childlike-adult-monster-surreal-fairy tale-musical-nonsense humour I’ve ever seen. Honestly, I’ve never saw anything nearly like it before.
“I want this in my collection. All of it,” I said after one more episode we had just watched.
“I’ve already order a DVD from their live tour as well as all the series they’ve done so far,” Sweetie returned knowingly.
“And bunch of fan merchandise, too,” Vanessa added and Sweetie shrugged innocently.
“It’s just so cool looking I had to,” she said like she wanted to give herself some excuse with me. She never needed it, especially when it comes to stuff like this.
I don’t know how many episode have we watched when Bam and Johnny arrived.
“I told you he’s not coming back,” Bam chuckled at the sight of me sitting Indian like on the floor eyes glued to the screen.
“No, wonder, these ladies are better companions than us,” Johnny said as he took the seat next to his wife.
“Sorry, but just watch this and it’ll explain itself,” I said not bothering to take my eyes to even look at them.
Hours and hours later we were still all at the same spot, crying our eyes of laughter and commenting how really great these guys were. I loved everything about it, story, music, crimps, costumes, surreal stories and monsters…everything.
If it wasn’t for Eli and the kids we probably wouldn’t even think of taking a break from the show to go eat. During the entire dinner we all bombarded Eli with stories and jokes from it. Moon was my favourite. Not Howard but the real tlking Moon up in the sky. He was so random with his thoughts and he’s somewhat retarded voice only added to his charm.
Eli was too confused to quite get it but she laughed at certain lines or our reenacting of scenes. Dinner just flew by since we were all eating faster than usually just thinking how we need to return to watching more of it.
We quickly sent kids to their rooms and returned back to laptop and TV. Bam got it hooked up to our Big TV screen so we could all propely watch it. One episode after another and I seriously wished theee were like 20 series with 100 episodes. But, then.
“Fuck, there’s no more episodes, guys,” Sweetie said very disappointed.
“Aww, no,” we all whined as she pulled a laptop in her lap and did some research.
“Wait,” she said typing and clicking like a maniac, her eyes scanning pages with speed of the light. I sometimes really hated her for being able to read that fast. “Ok, apparently, they did only two series and for last year they’ve been touring around the UK,” she was talking. “Last show scheduled for this Thursday in London… then they’re going to shoot new series.”
“Then we’ll have to wait until that happens,” Bam sadly concluded.
“Not if we got to the show,” Sweetie returned.
“It’s in two days, honey. They’re probably sold out long ago,” I returned.
“It says they are but I can try pull some strings, make a few phone calls. I never did it before but this seems like a perfect time,” she didn’t want to let herself be talked out of it.
“Even if so, we can’t take kids with us and we can’t leave them alone either,” Johnny retorted.
“That’s why we can have Jesse and Nadene, even George or Anita and Kari come over,” she had apparently, thought it all trough.
I just smiled at her heartedly. She was really hot for this and obviously she won’t stop until she makes it happen.
“Come on guys, I know you all want to go, right? What if this is the last time they’ll perform, huh?” she was plotting feeling Depp-Paradise couple was bit reluctant.
“If it’s sold out I don’t know what difference can your connections make,” Vanessa tried to reason her.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, darling,” Sweetie snorted. “I have a looong list of people who owe me big time so… don’t bug your pretty head over it. So are we going or not? Let’s vote. Hands up who wants to go.”
Vanessa was the only hesitating in the room and she looked at Johnny in such way that he felt need to apologize or explain himself.
“What? I really want to,” he shrugged innocently.
“I know but it’s not fair to leave our kids to Ville’s parents while we go have some fun. We don’t really know them.”
“Oh, crap, is that only thing that’s stopping you?” I asked her.
“It’s a big thing…” she nodded.
“Well, it’s stupid and I vote it off as irrelevant. Anything else, honey?’ I asked her again.
Johnny snickered up on her with puppy dog eyes, wrapping his arms around his wife’s tiny frame, knowing it would soften her. Gee, he was good. Anyway, she smiled at him right away, she was aware of his intent and knew she’ll give in yet she shook her head but after he kissed her behind the ear she surrended.
“All, right, we’re going,” she giggled then said something to Johny in French that made Sweetie chuckle.
That made Vanessa realize she forgot there was at least one person present that could understand her and she blushed as Johnny laughed at her.
“Let’s make some calls,” Sweetie brushed it off but the cheeky smile remained to lay in the corner of her mouth and I knew it was something connected to what Vanessa had said. Something sexual for while she was going through her list of contacts Sweetie was playing with her tongue, twisting it in a pretcel. I was always amazed with her ability to do weird stuff with her tongue. That flexibility plus length is probably what explains her being such a good kisser. She could twist it in every and any way you want it, in a roll, a tunnel, a drill both sides… I never saw anyone being able to arch their tongue as she could. She could make her tip be really tiny and pointy and I could only imagine what tricks she could do if she had it cut in two like people do these days. But unlike them she wouldn’t need training to learn how to use it to the full effect. She’s natural. I remembered her once saying how her tongue is so long she can’t have her mouth closed like other people. I thought she was just joking but seriously explained me how when she locks her jaws to make her upper and lower teeth touch each other, her tongue stays behind all curled up filling up her entire mouth so much that she can hardly breathe. I was still reluctant to believe her back then so she straighten it up aand locked her jaw to make me see that what was sticking out is of the exact same length as any other human’s normal tongue. But there’s a down side to such big tongue, like whenever she’d go to the dentist they’d always spent more time trying t get her tongue out their way so they could work on her teeth. And it turned out to be one of her fears, that one day she’ll bit off her tongue by accident. Hopefully she won’t for I loved all the benefits it was offering to me.
I watched her as she was talking trying to sound like she’s not really trying to pressure the person on the other side of the line but in her tone there was that air of ‘you know you owe me bitch’ feeling waiting to pop out if necessary. She hung up and smiled heartedly.
“Ok, 6 seats in the front row just for us, people,” she announced and we all cheered up.
“Who will get killed for them?” I asked her as she slid next to me.
“Does it really matter?” she charmingly returned really proud of her self. No, more in a bit arrogant way.
Wait, Sweetie and arrogant in the same line?! This never happened before. Is something going on with her that I’m not aware of?