No Ordinary Love, Part 3, chapter 204
204
Nik and I went my place. He said something that he doen’t really want to go home. We watched some movies, taking shifts with Ari, very much just sitting in silence. I’ve just put Ari in her bed to sleep, Kai volonteureed to take from there, when Sweetie arrived. The usual cheerful her. She greeted us both, Nik was surprised with hug she gave him. He was growing nervous entire anfternoon and this little gesture from her made it more obvious.
“You ok, darling?” she asked him noticing his restless eyes. “This is not about this morning, right? There’s no hard feeling, trust me…”
“No, no,” he shook his head quickly. “Well, maybe a little but…”
“Nik,” I gently called for him figuring out what’s going on. “I told you, you don’t have to…”
“Yeah, yeah, I don’t have to, but I want to,” he cut me off. “Do you know how it feels when there’s something inside you, eating you live? When it pushing away everybody from your life?” his tone raised a little. “I want it to end. And I want it now. So, please, just…. Just hear me out, ok?” his eyes begged us and so we nodded. “Good,” he swallowed. “My real name is Nikko Kuska…” he paused looking at us.
“That sounds familiar,” I said more to myself then I vaguely remembered that in bar he said something else. “Wait, you told me it’s Rothenberg.”
“It is since I turned 18,” he confirmed. “I changed it for my mother’s maiden name.”
“Wait, Kuska that’s like…” Sweetie began.
“Kuska development, yeah,” he finished. “That’s my… father,” he said the last word through gritted teeth.
That was one of the biggest construction companies in Finland. There was lot of speculation that maybe there’s something illegal going on. Every now and then there’s some investigation but they find nothing. It’s been like that ever since they came to Finland from Norway nearly twenty years ago.
Nik’s pause lasted too long. By the look of his face he was going through a lot of anger inside. He clenched his fist, gripping them so hard that his knuckles were turning pale. Noticing that Sweetie reached out and placed her gentle hand on his fist, not saying a word, just smiling sympathetically looking him straight in the eyes. His body seemed to be washed over with wave of calmness she was eminating and he relaxed.
“My mom was a beautiful woman,” he began with sad smile, eyes locked to table in front of him. “She’s half Finnish, half Norwegian. One of the most beautiful women you’ll ever see. Her parents were wealthy. She went to best school’s, dreamed about becoming an actress one day but then when she was 16 she met this… lowlife Klutz and sealed her destiny,” he paused again. “I don’t understand what she saw in him, but he got her wrapped around his little finger. Grandma and grandpa didn’t like him but they thought it’s just a phase, she’ll come to her senses. They never realized it’s more serious than they thought. But just three months after they met, mom was pregnant with Anna and didn’t want to go for abortion. So she married my dad. Her parents bought them a big house, mom got funds from them, they were ready to do whatever to make her happy. Mom was naïve of course. She thought my dad loves her, but soon after she married him and gave him all the funds things changed. He showed his real face, a face of a monster,” he said then got up and began pacing up and down. “See, turned up all he wanted was her money. Mom stayed at home while he walked around fucking every girl that wanted him. And trust me they did want him. He used mom’s money to start a company. He transferred everything to his account so mom had nothing. She wanted to leave but she was ashamed and… I guess she still loved him.”
He was getting ready to come to the core of the story and that was unnerving yet for some strange reason he fought to persist. I still wondered why he’s torturing himself.
“Three years after Ana, she got me and died before I could’ve remembered her. Brain bleed. Can you imagine that? Died at 22 of bleeding into brain. Ana said how she believes she died of all the bullying she had suffered from my father.”
He cried but silently, no sobbing, no attempts to hide them. I felt Sweetie’s hand tightening her grip of mine.
“After my mother’s death her parents lost it completely. Grandma’s in mental hospital and grandpa… he’s like living ghost,” he paused. “My sister was all I had. Then we began to grew apart. I had no idea what was happening, not until one night.”
Already I dreaded this. He turned his back on us, bowed his head, looking like broken toy. Sweetie looked at me with sad eyes, she looked like she’s about to cry. She knew this story all too well it seemed.
“I was in my sister’s bedroom. She wasn’t there and I wanted to talk to her. I fell asleep in her bed. In the middle of the night I felt someone was there with me...”
Sweetie got up and hurried over to him, waiting for nothing. Enough was enough, she thought. She gently placed her hands on his shoulders and he kind of went limp under her touch.
“Nik, don’t do this to yourself,” she softly spoke. “You’re not ready and it’s ok.”
She was right, but then again when is anyone ready to talk about something like this.
“Let’s have a seat,” she spoke again and he nodded, let her get him back to sofa. Sweetie set him down then went to the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Nik,” was all I could say to him. “But it’s not your fault.”
“You think I’m a freak.”
“What?! No, no, that’s not true,” I assured him. In order to make him believe me I scooted ncloser and made him look me in the eyes. “You’re not a freak, ok? None of this is by any means your fault, understand?”
Sweetie was back with a cup. “Drink this, it’ll help you relax.”
He took the steaming cup, inhaled the lemon and chamomile and took one sip. We sat like that in silence and now it made more sense to me why Nik was naturally sceptic about us. In his world, rich people were deviant, sick. The better façade the sicker filling inside. Now I couldn’t blame him for anything at all.
“Thank you,” he finally said.
“There’s no need for that, darling,” Sweetie assured him.
“There is,” he insisted. “You’re the first people apart from my sister that even bothered to listen,” he grinned very weak. “Whenever I tried, no one wanted to believe. My father was so good at his little show. For everyone he was this tortured widower, single-parent, successful business man. No one wanted to even think that he’s a monster.”
“I’m really sorry, Nik,” Sweetie said again. “We believe you but really you shouldn’t torture yourself right now.”
“No, I want you to know it all,” he pointed out. “I need you to hear me. If that’s not too much too ask for.”
“Of course it’s not,” I assured him. “We just don’t want you upset.”
“Upset,” he snorted. “I hated myself too long. Upset is nothing compared to it,” he paused. When Sweetie and I prolong that silence letting him know we’ll listen he went on. “My sister tried running away several times but he always found her and got her back. And the abuse was just getting worse and worse every time. then one day she managed to disappear. He couldn’t find her I was glad though I missed her. I even hated her for leaving me behind. But she didn’t knew he was doing the same thing to me. We never talked about it. We were both ashamed. I got expelled for the first time when I was 13. not even all my father’s connections could keep me in any school longer than one week. I was very problematic child. Eventually, he tried home school but I made sure that that fails too,” he grinned somewhat proudly. “Then when I turned 15, a guy came to my door, a tramp, gave me a letter. It was from Ana. For years I heard nothing about her and now a letter, explaining to me to pick a few things, meet her at the docks as soon as possible and to make sure no one sees me leaving. I did as I was told. Only in rush, I left her letter at home. That’s how two days later he found us. He brought two of his bulldogs. They got me fixed up so bad that I couldn’t move for days. But Ana got it harder. Beating wasn’t the worst thing,” he stopped he couldn’t say it.
“She got pregnant,” Sweetie whispered instead of him and tears flew down his cheeks as a confirmation. “Her daughter,” Sweetie continued with trembling voice. “It’s his, isn’t it?” he weakly nodded.
“Ana couldn’t afford the abortion. Doctors said due to her condition she won’t ever be able to have a child again. They didn’t even believe the baby will survive.”
“Does he know?” I asked.
“No,” he shook his head. “After that night when he found us. He said he’s done with us. Said he hopes we’ll die.”
“That was the last time you talked to him?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Of course, he’s a public figure so we hear about him everywhere now. It’s still hard to get used to it. He got married few years ago. He got another daughter. I just wish I could do something to make sure he doesn’t hurt her like Ana. But I can’t, there’s nothing we can do. Ana tried contacting his new wife but, the woman’s just blind. She didn’t even want to meet her. God know what he told her about us.”
“You really mean that?” Sweetie asked him. “That you would do anything to stop him? Anything?”
“Yes, of course I do. If Ana I had to go through this she doesn’t have to. But his wife she just…”
“Nik, what if I would tell you, Ana and I you can put him away for the rest of his life on your own,” Sweetie said dead serious.
“It’s impossible. We have no proof, plus he’s so connected that…”
“Nik, Nik,” she cut him off. “It’s more possible than you could imagine. It’s just not going to be easy on the three of you. Not easy at all,” she paused a little so he could give it some thought.
“We don’t care, but I don’t see how we can…” he trailed off as I wondered what’s going on in Sweetie’s head.
“You have the biggest proof. And she’s eleven years old,” she ended and Nik and I just stared at her speechless.