No Ordinary Love, Part 3, chapter 220

May 17, 2011 22:52


220

The rest of the night went very peacefully. First none of us talked, too occupied with his own thoughts. I’ve never been in such situation. This was very much different from when you see the relationship isn’t serious, or that it won’t last long, so you just wait for the end and it’s not a big deal. It was kind of obvious. It doesn’t hurt too much for it was not much of love involved in the first place.

What Nikki did to me is announce that he’ll hurt my dear friend. He tipped me off about something that my firend is oblivious of. He made me aware of her unawareness. Made me prepare for the end that wasn’t mine but someone else’s. It’s cruel, he knows and so do I. It highly unfair to get me involved in it like this, the other way round. And it hurts.

The hurt increased as the girls joined us and I couldn’t avoid Kat. It was ripping my heart in two to sit there watch her in her usual happy go lucky chatterbox mood, completely oblivious that the man she’s snuggling to will be gone tomorrow. Unprepared and unaware that he’s not smiling at her in loving manner that promises future as she hopes and talks. He’s not silent because she’s mesmerized by her. He’s not squeezing her hand because he’s impatiently waiting for a moment of privacy, or because he’s unspokenly letting her know he supports her. She’s so naïve not to recognize he’s silently saying a final goodbye.

And it hurt, it was discusting that I knew it before her. I’m not made for that kind of games, I thought to myself averting my eyes so not to see Kat kissing him but I couldn’t shut out her voice and the way she said how much she adores him.

Motioning for Sweetie to get up from my lap so to release me to get away from our guests, I left the empty beer bottle on the table and went inside. Everything in me screamed at Nikki, ‘tell her’. My mind was shouting at Kat to open her eyes and take a good look of what’s going on.

When I let Nikki get me involved in this entire mess, waiting till the morning didn’t seem so hard. Now, it was clear it was impossible for me, it was far too much than I could take. I was going crazy.

Sweetie sensed right away when they joined us that something’s wrong with me. That’s why she chose to sat in my lap, giving me chance to hide behind her if I need it as well as fully get the waves of her calmness wash over me. It’s not that it had no effect. It did for I endured the entire sharade for nearly an hour. But it wasn’t enough as the night was slowing down. I knew it’s just a matter of seconds she’ll come after me, she caught my eyes though I tried my best to get away unseen. My eyes always talked to much, always giving away more than I was willing to let people see. I knew that if I stay there they’ll fail me, they’ll betray me. Staying absolutely silent isn’t hard but keeping my head away from Kat all the time as she talks is impossible to pass as a normal thing. Even for me. Silence with me present is occasionally a perfectly normal state, but avoiding someone’s glance, ignoring someone in that way, that’s a completely different thing.

The house was quiet inside but I could still hear the ringing of Kat’s voice in the dark living room. When you love darkness so much, you don’t need to turn the lights on to move around your own house. You legs know where to take you for your sonic mind can precisely calculate the exact place in the house where you won’t hear the voices outside, but you’ll hear the footsteps on time to react and calculate your next move before the intruder finds you.

I sat on the third step of the staircase, put my elbows on my knees and let my head fall into my hands. Silence, that makes it possible for me to breath again. A brief moment of stillness to gather my thoughts. Then the floor in the living room made a little creek and I knew it was my Sweetie. If it wasn’t for that few loosen up planks I’d never really hear her coming. She always had that very light step. Almost like she was hovering above the surface. Such perfect thread that allows her to sneak up on anyone, any time and anywhere. Years of walking on egg shells as a very little child taught her how to move around without making a sound.

I felt her presence, before her palms coneccted with my arms a bit under my wrists and slowly slid down to my elbows where they stopped as she crouched in front of me. She leaned her head on mine and just stayed like that for a few moments until I was sure I can freely let my guard down for nobody’s coming to interrupt us. First my hands disconnected from head, it tilted a little to the left allowing her head to brush past my ear and stop as her chin passed my shoulder. My palms slid from her head, over her shoulders and down to the middle of her back, then pulled the rest of her body as close to me as possible. Instinctively her arms interlaced on my back above my waist.

She didn’t say a word, didn’t move in my arms, but held herself still, just the way I needed her in that moment. I needed her to bemy anchor, her even breaths the wind in my sails and the sound of her beating heart my compass. For I was losing my mind.

“I can’t go back there,” I finally spoke for talking to her was my only therapy that had any effect at all on my troubled mind. ‘I just can’t,” my voice trembled.

“I know,” soothingly empathic.

“I can’t just disappear,” I weighted my options with my eyes closed.

“I know,” compassionately understanding.

Pulling myself away from her, my hands slip up trailing their way up to her jawline and cupped her face. Even in the dark I could see her eyes and I had no doubt she’s missing mine.

“The worst is, I can’t tell you anything,” I end it with a gasp. It was enough of a mess that I knew something I cannot say to my friend for it’s not my place to say it. Tomorrow morning I won’t be able to pretend that I didn’t know. In the morning when Kat looks at me I won’t be able to fool her. I know I won’t even try. And for all I knew, she’ll hate my guts. I might lose her instead of being there for her during the rough time. If I was such an idiot to allow myself, to allow Nikki pull me into all this before really giving me any say in it, I could do different. This time I could choose to leave Sweetie out of it, for many reasons. The most important ones being, making sure she’ll be there for Kat when she throws me out of the picture and second because I needed Sweetie as my joker to get back on Kat’s good side. That’s possible only if I preserve Sweetie’s conscience clear. She cannot know any of the guilt I’m feeling inside right now. She can’t know nothing of why I’m so desgusted with myself right now.

“I know,” a condolence. Sympathy for the devil. Too much of it that she wasn’t even trying to read my mind, look deeper in my eyes. She just held my stare. My mind was a private property that she must not and will not trespass. She was always so respectful.

“If you’d only know how grateful I am to you right now,” I said, gently pulling he up into my lap, moving her little head to rest on my right shoulder. If this was a moment to lift my mood quickly Sweetie would say another “I know” but she remained silent. I needed to vent through talking my deepest feeling and fears to the only one who ever was truly worth of them. “This is so hard…”

“You can’t think like your hiding something from me, love,” she talked in little soothing voice. “You’re protecting someone’s privacy.”

“If that would be the trouble,” I chuckled on the irony. It is someone’s privacy involved but I’m protecting shit.

“Love, I did this to you before, many times,” she spoke again. “You never pried, never got mad for so many times. I owe you this much. This one time, you need it, I’ll give it all back,” she assured me. “Whatever you think is the best, ok?”

I nodded and pulled her to press my lips on hers, let her make me forget about my thoughts, my worries, my dilemmas. Erase them, my love, make my mind go blank, I kept begging her on the inside. It’s working, it’s working, just a little bit longer and I’ll be fine…

Footsteps, clicking of Kat’s platforms walking across my living room made me broke the kiss and bow my head, resting my forehead on Sweetie’s shoulder. Go away Kat, I thought to myself. Please, leave me the hell alone and don’t ask why.

“Aww, what bedroom’s a long way distance, huh?” Kat teased but I wasn’t up for laugh.

“Kind of yeah,” Sweetie replaced me. “Sorry we ditched you guys,” she said moving herself so her body would better protect me from inquiring glares.

“Don’t worry, we’re calling it quits anyway,” Kat dismissed her carelessly. “I’m dead beat any way. See you in the morning,” she said as I heard her boots hit the steps passing me by.

“Have a good night,” Sweetie wished them as Nikki passed me by, too.

Neither Sweetie or I moved or said anything until I heard the door of their room closing upstairs on the floor.

“Why don’t we go to our room, love?” Sweetie suggested.

“Not yet,” I returned in poor attempt to shake my head and she just hugged me a bit harder and stayed to just sit there with me like that for a very long time until I got seriously worn off and my body went stiff due to uncomfortable position I was holding myself in.

What the hell did he mean with things that keep them apart? What things? She adored him, knew the worst of him and still loved him; she accepted his kids and made good friends with them; she did everything right what else he wants? What’s so wrong? Why he thinks she wants anything else than what she already has? Why she’s not willing to let her have her say in the matter? And why the fuck did he have to tell me at all? Why just not tell her and then leave without explaining anything to me? He did explain but it wasn’t a satisfactory explanation for me. What’s the use of getting me involved in it? If he had just kept his mouth shut and leave as he plans to, I’d still be here for Kat. Knowing or not knowing what’s coming wouldn’t change that. Not at all. All it did is put me in possible situation of losing a good friend.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well that night. It been awful to witness the birth of a new day through my window after a very long time. I heard the door open and close and a pair of leather boots doing their best to tiptoe out of my house at the break of dawn unnoticed. Few moments later a hurried barefoot girly stampedo followed down the hall and down the stairs. Shit!

Trying my best not to disturb Sweetheart in her sleep I left the bed and the room. The main door got shut, I heard them, so I entered the room opposite my bedroom and walked over to the window. I stared down at the sight of two figures clinging one to another in my yard and my heart sank. Nikki tried to peel himself off of Kat, but she clinged hard that it was making it impossible for him to free himself. He gave up the fighting and squeezed her tighter. Some moments later Kat’s arms limped and she released him, he turned his back to her, adjusting his back pack on his shoulder and walked away, never looking back. Kat just stood frozen looking at his direction unmoving. Even when he was out of the sight she was still standing there on the cold concrete with her bare foot, in very tiny sleevless shirt and pair of boxers.

“Fuck,” I cursed rushing myself out of the room and down the stairs. I grabbed the coat from the hall on my way out and ran to her. “Babe, you’re going to freeze,” I said wrapping her in my coat. I glanced at her face, her eyes were closed, her make up smudged, she was a mess. A broken doll. “Jesus,” I sighed and put my arms around her. “Let’s get you inside,” I said to her and lead her back to the house. Her movements lifeless, robotic, unconscious, weak reproduction of usually bouncy Kat I love.

She let me led her to the living room and lower her to lay down on the sofa. In the state she was in I couldn’t take her back to her room. Moving around I ftched the blanket from the drawer and covered her after I took back my coat. Then I sat on the floor, my head at the same level as hers and I pushed few strands of her black hair off of her face. She was so cold.

“I’ll make you something to warm you up, ok?” I spoke to her as her eyes full of tears didn’t react. “I’ll be right back ok?” she didn’t respond but I hoped she had registered at least. While I made her a hot cup of tea, I cursed Nikki in every possible way. I cursed the day his path crossed Kat’s, cursed him for not being man enough to leave her alone first time he though he’s not good enough for her. But above all I cursed him for leaving her in such mess. How convenient it must be for him that he brought her here so far away from her home, from his home only to leave her and have someone else clean his mess. Fucker. Stupid selfish fucker!

“Darling, drink this, please. For me,” I pleaded to her and mechanically she sit up and accepted the cup bowing her head, letting her eyes stare blankly at the steam coming from the tea in her hands. I sat next to her and adjusted the blanket so it would stay arapped around her and put my arms over her shoulers, pulling her to lean on me.

“He left,” she said in crooked broken voice after a while. “For good,” she added then looked at me. “He’s gone Ville,” she said breaking into tears, dropping out the cup that smashed into pieces when it hit the floor. Luckily the hot liquid didn’t get on her, for the moment she dropped it she launched herself into my embrace, her legs followed the moment of her body just enough to save her from physical injuries. “He’s gone,” she sobbed repeatedly as I caressed her hair letting her cry to make herself feel better.

I had nothing to say to her. I couldn’t say “I know” for that had other meaning for me in that moment. Couldn’t say it’s going to be all right, not yet, for she won’t believe me. Her heart belonged to that bastard and he took it with him. There’s no such thing as all right for Kat at the moment. She cried for a long time until she went dried out of tears. Only then she pulled herself away from me, wiping her face with her hands, smudging the black make up some more.

Moving yself I reached out and grabbed the pack of wet baby tissues from the table; a commodity of having a little baby in the house and I began to clean her face. She let me for a while then she smirked and took a tissue from my hand.

“I’m such a mess,” she said trying to clean herself up as her eyes fell on the broken cup on the floor. “I’m so sorry about this…”

“Fuck it,” I cut her off. “I’ll clean it later,” I assured her and she nodded then her eyes fell on my shirt.

“I ruined that as well,” she commented sadly.

I glanced on my shirt and quickly took it off and ripped it in two, “It’s just fucking piece of cheap cloth,” I said tossing it aside and Kat for the first time chuckled.

“You’re crazy,” she shook her head.

“That’s why we make a good company, kiddo,” I returned lightly touching the end of her chin and tilting up.

She leaned her back on the sofa and turned to me. I leaned my upper arm on the sofa and let my head be supported by my right hand as I looked Kat in the eyes.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I can’t imagine my life without him. I love him.”

“It’s get easier by time,” I returned. “You’re just in shock,” I assured her reaching out my left hand to caress her cheek. “It will wear off. We’ll make it all better,” I smiled at her.

Her hand found mine on her cheek and she squeezed it a little, then she removed it from her face and let it fall somewhere between us but she didn’t let it go from hers.

“You think I’ll survive this?” she asked.

“I know you will,” I assured her. “You’re born a survivor.”

“Thank you,” she said as she moved for a brief hug before she returned back to her previous position. “You always say the right words.”

I grinned silly at that for I wasn’t sure that‘s true but I said nothing.

“Sing for me,” she pleaded as she snuggled closer.

“What do you want?”

“Bleed well.”

Her wish was my command at that moment. I sang it as a balade in very mellow tone and voice, for I understood what she needed from me.

“It really was a passion deranged,” she commented as I ended the song and she thanked me.

“Aren’t all the best things like that?” I returned wondering it myself.

“Yeah, the best love comes with the most pain, right? It’s what you always say,” she replied tilting her head so to look me in the eyes. “But it’s not actually like that, isn’t it? You have it different. It’s as easy and beautiful as it’s supposed to be, right?”
I sighed and smiled, “It’s easy as soon as you accept all of it,” I replied honestly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” her eyes squinted.

“It’s easy to love, in that sense it’s not hard,” I returned looking her in the eyes. “There’s no effort in trying to love someone the right way, you know; there’s no trying so hard to keep the one you love,” I paused.

“What’s the hard part?”

“Accepting the eccentricities,” I mused. “Making peace with the fact that her nature might cost us her life to name the hardest thing.”

“But she can change that for you, for Kai and Ari,” Kat sounded so naïve.

“No,” I heartedly smiled. “She can’t. It’s who she is. It’s what draw us together. It’s what brought me into her life in the first place. Her impulsive need to help anyone who needs to be saved or helped. She just jumps into it, hundred percent giving her all and ready taking any risk necessary without regrets. If she’d be any different I wouldn’t love her so much.”

“This time you truly love someone more than your own life,” she concluded with eyes full of hope.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“That’s so sweet,” she squeezed me a bit. “Think I’ll ever find that?”

“You sure will, kiddo,” I assured her, kissing her hair.

“You know, you’re the only one allowed to call me ‘kiddo’,” she said looking me in the eyes. “but only because I feel like a kid compared to you.”

“You are a kid,” I assured her playfully. “A big wonderful kid trapped in a body of gorgeous woman,” I complimented her and she giggled.

“You’re lucky Sweetie’s not jealous type,” she teased poking my ribs.

“I’m just fully exploiting your immunity to my Scandinavian charm,” I joked. “How about we get you back to your bed?” I suggested. “You seem like you could use few more hours of sleep.”

She didn’t protest. I helped her get up and maneuver around the mess on the floor. In silence I escorted her up to her room, watched her get under the sheets and tucked her in.

“Relax and sleep ok?” I said to her before I kissed her hair and motioned to leave the room.

“Hey?” she made me stop half way to the door. “How come you were awake so early?” she asked and the guilt washed over me.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I said feeling myself going a bit red in my cheeks and that made me uncomfortable so I turned around to leave as soon as possible and prevent her from finding out the truth. My hand grabbed the door knob and I was just an inch from being safely away from her eyes.

“You knew, didn’t you?” her stone-cold accusatory tone made my hand slip from the knob and I sighted admitting my defeat.

The only noble thing I was left to do was lift my head and let her look in my eyes. Her eyes squeinted harder, her lips pursed tighter, twitching then her eyes went wide and she shot me right through the heart with imaginary bulled filled with disappointment, andger and hate. It hit me more than a real one made out of gun powder and it hurt more.

“I can’t believe you,” she said in broken voice. “You knew and you said nothing? How could you?!” again she was on the verge of crying but the pride made her hold back the tears and show nothing but anger.

“Kat, I’m so sorry…” I began in the most sincere tone motioning to get near to her.

“Just leave me the hell alone!” she cut me off shaking her head strongly and raising her at me as a sign not to even think coming closer to her. “I can’t stand you right now. Just fucking go,” she spit through her teeth and turned her back on me.

I nodded to myself biting my lower lip as I made peace with myself that there’s nothing I can say to her to fix this, fix us and that it’s best to leave.

“Go,” she said slowly in dictating tone and I bowed my tail and closed the door behind me, and lightly hit my forehead on the wall right next to her door. I stood like that with my eyes closed, waiting to hear anything coming from Kat’s room. Actually, I hoped I will hear nothing. Nothing was good. No sound was sign she’s not packing to leave; a sign that she might find kindness to fogive me; sign that she’ll give me a chance to try and explain myself.

A soft touch above my right elbow made me open my eyes and glance at that direction and meet Sweetie’s most beautiful pari of eyes that looked at me full of compassion. Her hand slid to my palm and her fingers intertwined with mine and I pushed myself off the wall, letting her lead me back to our bedroom. I walked inside after her, leaving the door open in case Kat does try to leave, and followed Sweetie to our bed where we sat opposite one to another.

“She hates me,” I said in conciliatory tone.

“She’s just upset,” she returned. “She’ll forgive you when she calms down,” she assured me.

“I should’ve told her.”

“It wasn’t your place to do so,” she refreained.
“Or I was just too weak to do the right thing.”

“Who can tell what’s right what’s wrong, my love,” she shrugged.

“You’re not helping, you know,” I pointed out. “I feel like shit for letting her down. I’m such hypocrite.”

“Why?”

“Why?” I snorted silly shaking my head lightly. “You know how I found out that Jonna was cheating on me?” I asked and she shook her head. “Burton saw her and told Mige. Mige told me. He could’ve leave me in ignorance, you know. I could’ve perfectly continue to be blind to what was going on. If he didn’t say a thing I’d set the date for the wedding that day and probably got married and fucked up my life. But he chose to tell me. Because that’s what friends do. They tell you such things so you don’t fuck up your life.”

“That’s different,” Sweetie disagreed seriously.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Mige acted as true friend, I acted as stupid fucker.”

“You think it would make any difference if you have told her anything? If last night you have told her Nikki is going to break up with her and leave?” she inquired and I nodded. “No it wouldn’t no matter that right now you want to believe it would make all the difference. Deep down you know it wouldn’t change a single thing.”

“You don’t know that,” I shook my head.

“I saw how reserved he was yesterday, how he looked at her, I knew something’s coming but I didn’t know for sure what. Your reaction made it clear for me. He was set to do what he did for who knows how long before they even arrived here. I certain of that. When someone makes up their mind in such fashion, there’s no going back. You could’ve told her and what? She would beg him, try her best to change his mind in vain and he’d still leave,’ she paused for a very brief moment. “Mige chose to tell you because not telling you would make all the difference. Like you said, you would’ve tied the knot and probably by now either live a very unhappy life or got divorced. That’s why he told you. Because he knew it will make the difference. Here, you couldn’t do a single thing.”

“I could’ve been a fucking honest at least,” I pointed out and she sighed. “I could’ve prevent her from being hurt more with realization that I’m not a really good friend as she believed I am.”

“You are a good friend.”

Kat’s voice coming from the directon of the door startled me and made me spin my head at her direction. She stood there with serious face, fully dressed.

“Kat, I’m so sorry,” I said to her getting up as she began to approach me.

“I know,” she nodded. “So am I,” she sadly smiled offering me her hand and I took it as she squeezed it lightly.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” I said pulling her down to embrace her and she let me. Feeling a bit relieved I blabbed on my apology. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll never do this to you again, I promise, this is the last time.”

“It’s ok,” she assured me. “It’s not your fault,” she said as she pulled herself away and sat on the edge of the bed between Sweetie and me. “Sweetie’s right,” she said nodding like she’s finally making herself accept the state of affairs. “He would still left,” she shrugged twithing the corners of her lips. “I think I always knew that.”

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Sweetie said getting up.

“No, stay,” Kat glanced at her. “It’s ok. I need people around me now.”

Sweetie examined her eyes for a while then nodded and sat down on the bed.

“We were good together, you know,” Kat began taking my hand with her right and taking Sweetie’s with her left and she held them in her lap as she talked. “He’s the first guy that really understood me completely… But he never really opened up to me. Not completely. There was always some part of him he wasn’t leeting me to touch. It hurts you know. Bad,” she added swallowing big lump. “All the people who saw us together, all my friends at home after we broke up for the first time told me how they saw it coming. I didn’t want to belive it’s the end. I just wouldn’t have it, I wasn’t ready. Fuck, I’m not ready to let go even now. You won’t tell me to fight, this time, right?” she sadly smiled glancing at me and I shook my head. “Yeah,” she nodded. “It really is the end this time. And not even I could make any difference.”

“You can now,” I pointed out.

“Any ideas?” she pursed her lips together.

“Stop lamenting for the start?”

“I can try that,” she nodded. “But you’ll allow me to slip every now and then, right?’ she sheepishly asked.

“I’ll fogive you sure,” I agreed. “But I certainly won’t let you mop. I’d rather suffer your rage than watch you cry.”

She giggled.

“Then you’ll have to make me smile,” she playfully said.

“Just say what you want me to do and I’ll do anything,” I assured her. “Whatever will get me back my little crazy kid I adore.”

She grinned heartedly, then a little mischievous smile appeared in the corner of her lips.

“What?” I chuckled knowing she’s up to something as she let go of both Sweetheart’s and my hand and let herself fall back on the bed propping herself on her elbows. “What are you up to? Spill it you crazy woman.”

“I want you two to kiss,” she grinned and I shook my head in disbelief as Sweetie chuckled. “I want to see you two smooching like you did yesterday.”

“You’re so perverted,” I shook my head again squinting my eyes at her. “You voyeur.”

“What? I’m heartbroken and I need some proof there’s still love in this world, so…” she shrugged and cocked her head daringly. “Consider yourself lucky I’m not asking you to kiss me,” she said nugging me with her knee. “C’mon. You did this before.”

“No, I didn’t,” I assured her feeling myself blushing a little. “No one ever made such weird request before.” I was seriously embarrassed. Sweetie on the other hand seemed quite unphased.

“Oh shit, you’re red like cherry,” Kat laughed.

“Fuck you,” I chuckled back. “I’m a decent person, you know.”

“Then be decent and kiss her, for me,” she insisted. “You said you’ll do anything to make me smile.”

“I didn’t mean you’ll ask for this…”

“Oh, let’s just do it,” Sweetie said leaning over Kat’s legs to get to me.

“No,” I frowned as Sweetie grabbed me for my shirt propping herself up a little and getting seriously close to my face. “I’m not…” she cut me off by pressing her lips on mine and forcing me to open them for her. There really wasn’t much of resistence from or protest on my part once I felt her taste. It made me forget about the peeping Tom watching us. But when Sweetie slowed down the kiss implying its end as she slowly pulled herself away from me, I huge wave of embarrassment washed over me and I knew I’m red not just in my face but from head to my toes.

“That was so sweet,” Kat squeeked and I bowed my head ashamed. “Oh, God if you could only see your face right now,” Kat was laughing hysterically. “I can’t believe how blushed you are.”

“I can’t believe you made me do this,” I returned glancing at her feeling how my embarrassment slowly retreats. “You one cruel bitch,” I said grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Kat’s face.

“I didn’t make you do anything, she did,” Kat pointed at Sweetheart.

“And you, too, ganging up on me,” I averted my eyes to amused Sweetie. “Whose side are you on?” I demanded.

“I’m neutral,” she shrugged.

“Like the fuck you are,” I returned launching myself at her. She slightly moved trying to avoid me but I managed to grab her for her shoulders and pull her to me. The only thing I didn’t think through is that she was sitting on the very edge of the bed, so I fell off it and hit the floor with my back as Sweetie landed on top of me. That fucking hurt and I yelped.

“You ok?” Sweetie asked giggling as she slid herself on the floor so she wouldn’t press my chest.

“This wasn’t one of the smartest things I have ever done, fuck,” I gasped feeling my head hurt.

“Definitively, one of the stupidest,” Sweetie chuckled as Kat peaked her head from the bed above laughing her arse off.

“It’s your fault,” I said glancing at Kat. “Fuck this really hurts,” I said as I tried to move my head.

“Aww, lett me kiss it better,” Sweetie playfully said and pecked my lips several times. “Better?”

“Mhmm,” I murmured. “More,” she continued to shower my face with little kisses and I found myself wrapping my arms around her. I slowly pulled her down and flipped us over so I was on top of her. I sat on her and grabbed her for her wrists and pinned them to the floor above her head. “Payback time,” I said to her grinning devilishly as I lightly moved my hips, grinding my crotch against hers. She just grinned, without even thinking to object.

“Ok, I’ll leave you to your business,” Kat said as she hopped off the bed, stepped across us and rushed to the door. “Have fun, love birds,” she giggled as she closed the door leaving us completely alone.

“What you did wasn’t nice you know,” I spoke to Sweetie pressing myself harder to her making her moan.

“I’m not sorry,” she returned, eyes blazoned with desire.

“You will be,” I said lowering my mouth down to her neck hovering over her delicate skin, making her shiver. Parting my lips I grazed my teeth over skin just to make her gasp some more. She tried to arch beneath me, wrap her legs on my back but I didn’t let her. “Be still,” I commanded trailing my lips up to her earlobe but kissing the little spot behind it.

She clenched her fists, a poor attempt not to keep herself in control and remain a good girl. I knew she’ll obey so I released her wrists sliding my hands down the inner side of her arms kissing my way down to the ham of her shirt. My palms slowly and very lightly touched her nipples in instant turning them hard earning me another set of little gasps. Pushing her shirt upwards I hovered over her flat belly, watching her skin shiver as I was breathing out warmth of my breath on her. Again I was close to her perfect breast but I didn’t touch them until she was free of her shirt fully exposed to my eyes. Swifthly I took off my shirt and tossed it aside but I took my time leaning down to her, keeping my eyes locked with hers, watching the tension build up in her eyes, lust driving her mad as our bare skins finally touched.

I bit her lower lip, she moaned again, this time it was because of the sweet pain and I grinned satisfied with the effect I had on her. My lips found her neck again and began kissing it as my right hand slid between her thighs and quickly went up as I pulled myself away to watch her face. She pressed her legs closer, trapping my hand between them arching her head a little desperate to finally be kissed, put out of the torture I was giving her.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” I gasped then closed the gap between us kissing her passionately. She kissed back with even more force, more love, with dazzling hunger. I felt her skin burning under my touch, shivering, trembling on the verge of unbearable.

“Just take me,” she begged exgasparated breaking the kiss for just as much as she needed to say the words.

Holding myself close to her, so not to break the kiss, I pushed her pyjama bottoms down then let her wriggle her legs out of it. Her hands grabbed the rim of my shorts and pulled them down with my boxers. Positiong myself above her my hands resting on both of her cheeks I broke the kiss and looked her in the eyes.

“I love you,” I confessed looking her in the eyes as I entered her. There was just something so beautiful in her always in that moment, when our bodies would finally join. Something in her eyes unexplicably intoxicating and hypnotizing. I could always see my own refelxion in them ever so clearly. So fragile, so wild, so gentle, so her.

“Love you, too,” she returned pushing her hips up as I pressed my lips on hers again, letting her finally touch me with her hands. We always moved in such perfect motion, like one, every touch so right, every motion so delicate and prefect. Always so familiar but always so new and with stronger effect.

Absolute surrender to another being; surrender to another soul, like yours. Making love to her is always like reaching into deepest depths of her, searching and finding both of us, our vision of us hidden inside of her. Loving her is like entering her heart and finding out, experiencing all those little things words can never express. Complete surrender to another being, to another part of you.

She shuddered and gasped as her vision exploded in front of my eyes filling me with ultimate love, completing me. Collapsing on her, I sealed the memory with long kiss interrupted with little pantings. Pulling my lips from hers I smiled lovingly and she smiled back.

“I love you,” I said again.

“Love you, too,” she returned and pulled me back on her chest, letting me to listen her little, big heartbeats washing over me.

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