when the day is done
The Good Wife | Will, Alicia/Will | 586 words
Spoilers for 3x09
Happy Holidays (and Happy Belated Birthday),
sonni89!
“Diane knows.”
Will confesses over lunch almost a week after Diane confronts him. He doesn’t mean to let it slip so easily in casual conversation, but after holding the truth in for so long, the words leave his lips before he can stop them.
Alicia’s eyes never leave her salad. “I figured as much,” she says. As her fork hovers over the edge of her plate, the light catches on her wedding band. It bothers him more than he’d care to admit.
He waits for her to say something more, anything at all. Yet she doesn’t say anything; just laughs and arches an eyebrow, enjoying a joke so private that even he isn’t privy to it.
Her composure is something Will has always envied, even when they were in law school. He has no idea what she’s thinking, and it is this -- not warnings from Diane or threats from Peter -- that unsettles him. Uneasily, he tears off a slice of bread and worries it between his teeth, just to have something to do.
This is not how it was supposed to be. Will is in love and it’s intoxicating, exciting, dangerous. He thrives on it, but he has always had a gambler’s heart and he feels most comfortable when the stakes are high.
He thinks, the stakes have never been quite this high before.
(But really, that’s all part of the thrill.)
Good timing, if that’s what it even was, has long since passed, and the day-to-day is more difficult. Alicia warned him, but he wasn’t listening. Or he didn’t want to listen.
Will is in love, but he is no fool. He knows that she is not.
Still, the moments when everything and everyone else disappears, when it’s only them, give him hope that these missteps are not irreparable. That he is not hopeless.
“Are you coming back to the office?” Alicia asks finally, putting down her fork as easily as she redirects the conversation, brushing Diane -- and with her, her concerns -- to one side. It’s a tactic they use in court all the time, but Will likes it considerably less when it’s directed at him. It’s just one more thing they don’t talk about, although they probably should.
It’s not her fault. This started with him, so the blame rests firmly on his shoulders.
“No,” he answers, keeping his tone casual. “I have a meeting at 2:00.”
One where he’ll be doing his best to make this investigation go away, but since he hasn’t told her about the investigation, he cannot elaborate on the meeting. These are the fault lines that are shifting beneath their feet, the half-truths and secrets withheld that threaten to tear them apart.
They cannot afford to linger over their meals and Will reluctantly asks the waiter for the check. Under the table, she squeezes his hand discretely before she lets go.
She walks out of the restaurant just ahead of him, and he can’t help but watch her in fascination. He has known her for so long, but there are pieces of her he thinks he will never know. She still takes him by surprise.
Diane told him that it wasn’t right and it wasn’t smart. He’s done plenty of things that weren’t right in the past, and even more that weren’t smart. This feels different. He isn’t ready to let go yet.
Hazy sunlight burns his eyes as they exit the restaurant and go their separate ways.