circles are better than lines... but not nearly as predictable ( Read more... )

the last few weeks have been a total blur. i'm trying to just ride, and now it's freaky. what the hell is wrong with me ( Read more... )

i hope this isn't going to be another post that i wish i hadn't written. they all seem to be that way, but i force myself to keep them up. they come from somewhere... sometimes contrived. but not always. i'm going to try to keep this one to a minimal contrivedness. but myspace screams contrivability, it is the gateway to contrivedville, ( Read more... )

it’s springtime and i’m feeling craaaazy! a good friend of mine told me to feed my small slice of sanity to the ducks while repeating my mantra; and this, my friends, i have done. now i just can’t seem to keep myself out of trouble. but this isn’t anything that new ( Read more... )

the small slice of sanity that i do possess, the one that gives me some sort of ability to be "normal" in public situations, slowly slips away each spring. every year it’s a little more slim. i do believe i will be utterly gone by the time i’m 30 ( Read more... )

something about now... it's always tricky. i love being a woman though. because we're used to the circular routine of birth, life, sex, death... we do it every single month. right now, i'm dying. but i will be born again soon ( Read more... )

24 has been such a crazy age. sometimes i just feel so helpless... it's just funny. life really is so beautiful though. and meaningful, even though most of the time it's like passing a stone, or dog shit, or neverchanging landscape, or the same old shopping cart in the parking lot, and the bartender mixing drinks, telephone wire, mile marker, woman ( Read more... )

so i'm doing the master cleanse again... i wasn't going to blog about it this time, but i just can't help myself!!! i've been keeping a private journal too (thanks christy), so don't worry. this blog shouldn't be too terribly tacky. i definitely have a bad habit of sharing extremely personal and private feelings on the internet with friends, yes, ( Read more... )

winter is driving me crazy. i am so tired of stupid, cold, windy snow. i miss sunshiny days... beautiful rays... liveliness of cityhood... in a downtown neighborhood... ice cold wheat beer on a sunny patio, complete with cigarette, good company and lots of laughs. i need to survive the next four weeks...

think i've figured out, in part, the source of much of my frustration and unhappiness here: i have not been able to be myself for the last year and a half. maddening! i have felt like a different person, who i in turn hate for her lack of genuinity-- the worst of all human traits--and overall inability to love anyone for this very reason ( Read more... )