Comments | forbidthemoon: 52 weeks, chapter 4

forbidthemoon

52 weeks, chapter 4

May 18, 2007 15:11

Title: 52 Weeks
Chapter 4/?
Week: 3
Author: mage_of_time

Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment (KAT-TUN/NewS)
Pairing: Ryo/Ueda (Side: Kame/Jin, Tegoshi/Massu, Maru/Junno, Junno/Ueda)
Genre: Romance/mild AU
Rating: PG (some language)
Summary: Ryo hates Ueda. Ueda hates Ryo. However, after a rabid fan, a media explosion, and an angry Johnny, they must ( Read more... )

rps, long!fic, fandom: johnny's entertainment, pairing: ryo/ueda, 52 weeks

Comments 27

ame_no_okami May 18 2007, 22:30:18 UTC

YAY. And I so know how that feels. I mean writing a fic like this is hard. Epecially if your dad...or anyone of your family is right next to your asking what you are writing. It's hard to get out of that. Well anyways I wonder what Ryo is thinking now that he went and kissed Ueda.. and Yuichi-kun...poor Yui-kun with Junni and then seeing that..XP more please.

tatsuri May 18 2007, 22:40:00 UTC

Yay. Update.

SSOOOOO, Pi has a thing for Ryo? Or maybe for Ueda? Why won't he say? I like Pi yelling at people like that. It adds to his character.

jain May 18 2007, 22:42:42 UTC

I'm really enjoying this story. You do a lovely job with their characterizations, in particular, never making them too over-the-top: Ryo's an asshole, but not a serial-killer-in-training; Ueda is both ditzy and highly intelligent, but not to an absurd extreme in either direction; and Yamapi's...I don't even know how to describe his characterization here, but I loved it.

The email exchange between Jin and Kame in the previous chapter was wonderful, as well--sweet and funny and the teensiest bit poignant. I also really like how you've managed to write a story in which five members of KAT-TUN and four members of NewS are queer, and still have it be relatively believable.

One thing that did bug me in this chapter was your increased use of epithets, especially in the sentence The younger boy watched Ryo carefully, the wheels evidently turning in the tall boy’s mind. More than one epithet in a sentence sends up a red flag in my mind, and in this particular case I'm honestly not certain who you're talking about here. Shige's the "younger ( ... )

isodia May 19 2007, 00:22:30 UTC

*throws confettis* an update! yay! ^_^ i was just thinking of this this morning before i logged on and when i found this i was so excited! ^_^

i love the way how you depicted kame, maru and pi! ^_^ please update soon!

samenashi May 19 2007, 00:46:30 UTC

Hooray, Maru and Junno! AND A RYO KISS. Looking forward to the next chapter :DDDD