Losing old friends.

[ford_prefect42]

Back in the Triassic (90s and early oughts), when I lived in DC, I was fairly regularly going to goth clubs. I picked up a group of friends. Over the years, most of them have gotten lost to years and distance. Simply "lost touch" in the way of the world

Comments

[kharmii]

I'm plainspoken because I speak faster than I think and have no filter.

[prester_scott]

Having been through what you're talking about, I have resolved to be more decisive henceforth about cutting off friendships, at least in my own mind. People also don't get promoted to my "friend" tier as easily as they used to. It's a necessary step.

But the fact that we have to make such resolutions in the first place, and we never lose the capacity to be surprised at betrayals and hurt or saddened at the death of a friendship, I think says something important about human nature. We are made for love, a love that is the total giving and losing of oneself in the beloved, a love that is meant to be eternal.

[mosinging1986]

I'm sorry you're going through this. For all the advances technology has made in being able to keep in touch with people, sometimes it makes things even harder.

[coercedbynutmeg]

I hate to say it but I have become extremely utilitarian in who I am friends with. If they're not useful to me I don't have time for them. Not that I'm a user, but when all someone can offer is empty platitudes, or an "aw shucks I'd love to but..." I'm done. And I do make assumptions about people's utility based on their political/religious views, and they are seldom off the mark.

[kittles]

Sometimes you grow apart even if you are in the same environment; I think it happens even faster when you're separated by space.