Pass the Needle

[forestdesert]

One might expect that with all the pomp and prestige surrounding the medical professional, what with its grueling admissions process, the 8+ agonizing years of rogue memorization, of force-fed, fact-churning, latin-farting, innard-probing, anatomical gibberish followed by two years of indentured servitude and forced insomnia, that at the end of the

Comments

[loo]

Hey, anyone interested in my insanely overpriced mental health services?

Sure. Your services can't be any worse than the corporately dumbed-down, underqualified, inflexible bullshit that my "HMO" shovels over my head when I'm forced in every six months for a conjoined "follow-up" visit with a P.A. and an M.S.W.

In fact, I'd venture to say that you are, in fact, more qualified than the two dipshits I'm forced to visit at my health plan that, together, don't even add up to a single doctorate degree...in anything.

My myriad of social disorders should really be no suprise to anyone.

[forestdesert]

Yeah, one dipshit is definitely better than two =)

[beckersunc]

Your insurance company sent you to a psychiatrist? Morons. My insurance company sent me to a qualified psychologist, who then referred me to a psychiatrist for the Zoloft® portion of my treatment. CBT is definitely not something that an M.D. would provide. I guess I got lucky w/ my insurance company…

Sorry you had a shitty experience!

[forestdesert]

You're forgetting that I have to deal with the worst insurance company in existence (aka Humana).

[dead_hippasus]

When I went to a shrink because of long-term, fight-club-style insomnia he made me take the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory Test, I didn't get results for about two weeks because he had to ship it out to an external service in order to have it run through a scan-tron, like some college midterm, and then, another two weeks later, told me I had a mood-disorder and that I should take Paxil and Zyprexa for my 'moods' and Ambien for my 'insomnia.' Needless to say, I was in his office for little under 15 minutes, we spoke less than 5 minutes therein, and I, all along, was left wondering why the fuck I was going to have to pay a similarly astronomical rate for his services...so, in conclusion, I wonder, is it possible to have a 'good' experience with a shrink, or are we just better trudging through the chaos of our wonderful biochemistry alone? At least we'll still have $250+ in our wallets and bank accounts...

[forestdesert]

I think its high time they implemented the Differential Diagnosis Algorithm For Dummies® which effectively bypasses the "human" element of psychiatric service and dispenses your meds automatically after dribbling out some useless DSM-VII hogwash for you to choke on.

Oh wait, they do that already. Only it costs $240.

[cyprien]

I always enjoy your rants. Your writing makes me smile.

[forestdesert]

Does it make you smile like watching a small child get run over by a Mack truck?