In January, my measurements were 35-25-37, I weighed 125 lbs. (I'm 5' 7"), I had no visible muscles, and I was between 20 and 25% body fat ( Read more... )

Saw The Amityville Horror tonight. Considering that it's based on a true story, it's pretty damn scary. Had it not been based on truth, it probably would have been considered crappy and unoriginal. I can't help but watch those movies and think that really happened to someone. For that reason, I couldn't sit through all of Texas Chainsaw ( Read more... )

I finally got my hair to do what I wanted! It's curly! My hair is very thick and really long (pulled straight, it reaches the top of my pants). Even when I got a perm, it didn't really curl, just got more wavy. I thought I was going to have to cut it to lose some of the weight. I'm so sick of plain, long, straight, brown hair. It's just so ( Read more... )

Yesterday, I was walking to the library at school and there was this really hot guy walking in the other direction, towards me. Good face and hot body, that's not all that common. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he thought I was attractive too. My brain was telling my body to make eye contact, smile, flirt, do something! But ( Read more... )

Matt and I are very happy. In fact, I can't remember the last time I felt so happy. There's nothing in the world that you could say to take this happiness away. I'm sorry if you're hurting and angry. Some day you will find a man who will love you the way that you want to be loved. I don't want you to be in pain. Your anger is only hurting ( Read more... )

Matt told me today that (most likely) he'll be here within a week. I'm not as happy as I'd like to be. It's not that I don't want him to come, I do. I guess it's just that I feel like I'm being set up again. I don't really think he is going to cancel again, but all of this is familiar to me. My defenses prevent enthusiasm. I guess it's for ( Read more... )

Every monday and wednesday after boxing class, my hands shake for about an hour. Today, my left hand never stopped. It's been almost 12 hours now. There's a bump on the side of my forearm too. Miro said the same thing happened to him when he was boxing. He went to a doctor and they put a brace on his arm and he couldn't box for 3 weeks. This ( Read more... )

My emotional state is all over the place. I'm depressed, then angry, then happy, anxious. Sometimes I feel like I can't handle it, others I feel like I could take on the world, and sometimes I feel like everything would be okay if I could just have something to drink. I ranted yesterday. I was very upset and I vented all my feelings into a ( Read more... )

The other day, in my mind, I forgave Matt. I thought about IMing him just to talk. I thought about casually re-adding him to my friends list. I was wondering how he's doing in that God-awful relationship that he seems to be trapped in. And I realized that as much as I don't want to, I still love the bastard. It was a bad night for me. I ( Read more... )

Only in California can you go swimming in friggin March. Yesterday's weather was horrible, it was cold and rainy and just bad. Today, it was springtime without the allergies. Clear skies and in the upper 70s. I spent the first half the day at the river. The water was cold, but not too cold for swimming. I have a mild sun burn. If that wasn't ( Read more... )