Comments | foreversin: Changing Tides Revised

foreversin

Changing Tides Revised

Aug 20, 2008 21:25

Revised Changing Tides Chapter 5 Part one now with less mistakes( hopefully).

( Part 5 )

Comments 8

allyoucaneater August 21 2008, 07:05:23 UTC

“This water if Freezing! Why is it so damn cold!”
'This water IS freezing! Why is it so damn cold!?' sounds better (but that's just me) I'm sure you could ask one of the writers here to be your beta reader :D

foreversin August 21 2008, 07:09:46 UTC

Whoops it was a last minute changed. I got someone to beta it but you know what happens when you edit those few things. Thanks for catching it. I know you read the earlier version is it still enjoyable?

allyoucaneater August 21 2008, 07:14:14 UTC

I found this one a much better version :D
Though there's some grammar mistakes and such but most of them are because of lack of ',' or something like that

foreversin August 21 2008, 07:15:48 UTC

Commas are not my friend they are the antichrist. **goes into emo corner and sobs** This is why i'll never be a good writer. ;;

Thread 6

deathjunke August 21 2008, 16:56:00 UTC

That was a lovely update. I really liked your fight scene, it was so exciting (i can never Write a coherent one). Cant wait until next time

foreversin August 22 2008, 01:25:45 UTC

**grins at you** Thanks it took me a few days to actually come up with it. My vocabulary isn't as strong as most people (I'm really lazy) so i had to make sure it was purely intesnse and had enough action to make peoples mouth water. Someone said the style was like a Manga easy to understand and picture, I believe that is a complimant.

Thanks again glad you liked it and your comment fuels my plot bunny demon.