069. Sailing, Kangin/Shiwon
069. Sailing, Kangin/Shiwon
Words 864
Rating PG-13
Note Best thing I have written in a long time in my opinion. Dedicated to Fyre!Blue. So not crack or in that verse though XD
KangIn put his hand on top of Siwon's.
Not something he was surprised by, caught of guard by. Not something he was accustomed to, certainly, the gaps between were too far between for that kind of familiarity. But it shouldn't have surprised him. Shouldn't have send little ripples, a shiver, running straight up his arm, goose bumps reacting, standing to attention at the touch. Still it did.
He made no attempt to move his hand, just looked at the other. KangIn was smiling back. “Thanks for coming with me.” Siwon gave the gentlest of shrugs. “No problem.” He set his vision back out over the waters, feeling the cool if the liquid on the edges of his toes as his feet dipped out and in of it, the boat moving with the natural rhythm of the waves that he couldn't quite make out this far away from shore.
“Teukie really doesn't like boats much. Make him feel sick. And I did force him to come a couple of times before....” He could still feel KangIn's eyes on him, but he refused to meet the gaze. Instead he focused on the end of his fishing rod. Nothing caught yet. And how long had they been doing this now?
“It's fine. Really, thanks for asking me. I like sailing anyways.” Siwon answered. “Not fishing though.” The other's chuckle was a little lighter than it would have been back on land. Maybe ocean air agreed with him. “It's fine.” he emphasized both words, hoping that would be the end of it.
“It's just I rented it, and I didn't want to loose the money, and it needs at least two people...... You hate fishing.” Siwon wasn't sure how the other knew that. Sometimes, KangIn knew more than he let on, and more about Siwon than he liked. “I'll tell you how much I love fishing once we actually get something on the line.” He could see KangIn nodding and shifting to look back off the side of the boat, at his own pole.
The hand didn't move.
Silence resumed for a while, both of them just sitting there, waiting for something that just might not have been coming. There was every chance that it would though. Every chance. Siwon ensured that his rod still held firmly to the little hole in the side of the boat, then lay back, gazing up at the sky above him, pure blue, only punctuated at the very top of his vision where the high white mast where the sails that had brought him here now hung limp.
KangIn's fingers trailed along the lines of his wrist now, moving slowly, but deliberately, up and down, but the weight of his palm never left the top of Siwon's hand. They sat like that for a few minutes. Siwon couldn't be sure how long. The only movement was when he put his free hand under his head, cushioning it. He wasn't sure he could move the other.
He could hear a small clink of metal on metal as KangIn set down in his pole into one of the holders. A tiny noise, but enough to set off the alarm bells in his mind. “Don't.” The word hung in the air, and for a few moments, Siwon wasn't even certain that he had been the one to say it, even though he must have been. He didn't look at KangIn.
“Why not?” The other man's voice was quiet. Not something Siwon was used to in the slightest, and it threw him. “Just...” he paused, trying to regain some composure. “I can't do this anymore.” A long pause. The other didn't seem to have any intention of saying anything more, but his hand didn't lift.
How long? Too long, for something that should never have happened in the first place. “I love Jungsu.” KangIn at last answered. Siwon swore to himself that he could hear a “but...” at the end of that sentence, and unfinished expression of emotion. “Good. I love Geng.” Sad thing was, he could hear the same damn thing at the end of his own.
“But....” Suddenly, KangIn vocalized what Siwon assumed they had both been thinking. That one word. But nothing else followed. Siwon gave him the time, even though he shouldn't have, even though every part of him said it was wrong. What? Did he really want KangIn to say anything else? Would it change anything if he did? Against everything his conscious screamed, he waited.
Waited for nothing. “Fine. That's that then.” He wished so desperately he couldn't hear the coldness in his own voice, the distance in his own tone. Worse the words seemed to echo and congeal in the air around them, hanging there like a barrier between them that neither would never, ever break again. It was better this way. Siwon closed his eyes, and pretended that it was all gone. He didn't want to remember anything about this moment. But his other senses betrayed him. The water lapped against the boat, rocking it softly still. Somewhere, far off, a seagull cried. KangIn coughed, or was that crying too?
Siwon pulled his hand out from underneath KangIn's.