SEX
Okay first of all: when I was in college I took a playwriting class where we had to stay up all night and write a ten minute long play, and this flamboyant guy in the class who was also very witty decided at like 4 in the morning that he was going to title his play SEX (though it was about, like, middle-aged sisters fighting, or something?) and at
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some of my own though:
-stan likes to do it in the shower. kyle is less enthusiastic because that means two hours of maintaining and redoing his hair after. even when stan offers to do his hair for him.
-number of times kyle has accidentally made out with craig because he mistook him for stan while drunk: 4
-number of times stan has punched craig: 5
-worst coitus interruptus moment: randy walking in stan's room to ask where the remote control was last because NCIS was starting in four minutes. it would have been slightly less mortifying if he left immediately versus complimenting kyle's prowess at reverse cowgirl, "no homo". also the remote was on the kitchen counter when he went in to make popcorn.
-kyle lost his virginity to christophe. stan lost it to wendy. though they both consider their "real" virginities lost to each other~
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it's my headcanon that in high school he meets up with bebe and nichole regularly and do their hair together because it's better when surrounded by those who understand
Yes, Kyle making out with Craig accidentally, Stan taking it personally, YESSS.
it's gotten to the point where craig leaves altogether the moment he sees kyle walking toward him with a drink in hand. and kyle whines because all he wants is stan's penis on his mouth and that opportunity just flipped him off and went out the front door
also yes i have seen the prestige and it is one of my favorite movies.
The Christophe in this scenario varies for me, but in general I like this dynamic a lot.
yeah it's been christophe more lately but has varied from kenny to craig to some college guy reenacting mconaugheyhey's character from dazed and confused
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Hahahaha yes perfect I agree 100%. There actually isn't a more accurate description out there for how Stan bottoming makes me feel.
And Kyle drunkenly making out with Craig is BEYOND perfect, I want a fic about that. And the subsequent punchings. And also that Randy moment, perfect.
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related to that, wendy pegs him often
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fuck, i need this. does it exist? anyone know?
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i guess this is sort of OT (?), but for years i've wanted to read some bebe/marjorine. as in, actually trans butters, not just crossdressing. i remember being really excited about this fic when it was first published, and i remember liking it, too, so i guess i'll reread it tonight, because i don't remember a whole lot about it. im really into the idea of bebe being this well-versed mega dyke who gets thrown for a loophole (loop?) when she starts falling for majorine, who isn't physically like the girls she's had sex with before?? and marjorine would be really giving, yeah, with the added desire to want to be seen as a girl by this actual lesbian in terms of ~the art of lesbian sex~ lol. uh. anyway ( ... )
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-cartman and wendy have a sex dungeon behind a bookcase in their basement/office/laundry room which bebe accidentally stumbled upon one afternoon when wendy sent her to get a bleach pen from the laundry shelf. she saw the audacity of hope, thought "hey, i've been meaning to read this for a while," and... whoops. on a related note, they change the book that hides the switch at least twice a week; it's a silent war of "who can offend the other more with their selection." it stopped when cartman put fifty shades of grey and wendy ended up yelling at him for more than an hour.
i have more, i just can't think of any right now :S
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omfg
also 100% behind you with the rapist!cartman thing. it's like, yeah, okay, first few times i'd understand but if it becomes almost representative of what the cartman/kyle shippers think of their relationship, that......... is not ok..........
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Yes, please!
it's a silent war of "who can offend the other more with their selection."
I love the idea of what domestic life would be like for these two since they both have a tendency to be pretty controlling, which would lead to fantastic squabbles and make-up sex.
I also have this really stupid idea of them later in life arguing-because I can't see them with kids honestly-whether Wendy should get her tubes tied or Cartman should get a vasectomy. Wendy wins the argument.
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the misadventures of cartman and wendy is the very first sp fic i ever read and it covers their whole domestic life SO perfectly oh my god
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Also I think Gregory would be really into rough sex. Kyle probably would too. I think anyone with control issues would be.
And I think Cartman would be very into manipulating or coercing people into doing what he wants. My headcanons get kind of blurry when it comes to him being a rapist (though he definitely has shown that he's not above doing things to people without consent) but he's obviously manipulative, so he might be able to talk his way into someone's bed.
I see Butters as being too vanilla for sex, but I'm not sure why since in the show he's had a lot of development as far as a sexual awakening goes. But maybe he'd be very sexual without really realizing that's what it was?
And Kenny, ah. I think Kenny would just take whatever he could get, as far as sex or just affection goes. I see him being very starved for affection.
I meant this to be like a one-sentence response and WHOOPS.
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