blah blah

[formerfetus]

my self-esteem is about [here].
(that's me waving my palm very very close to the ground.)

my chest is clenched up and i feel like two bucks maybe, and that's only because i just took a shower

Comments

[damienspunkmom]

I am sorry to hear you are taking this so badly- I can only imagine. I have to say I am surprised.... when you were waiting to get the procedure done, it almost seemed like it was no big deal to you; like getting a mole removed. And now you are acting remorseful. You are nto a bad person; but everyone has their demons to deal with. Deal with this and move on =)

[formerfetus]

the decision to do it was nothing. it's more like i'm focusing on how the fuck in the world this could happen. who the hell am i. so it's not remorse as much as it is self-loathing.

yeah i have no remorse for my decision to kill it.

i have tons of remorse for my decision to sleep with him in the first place.

i skimmed this and then decided..

[formerfetus]

you should get out of my life.

[victimice]

I know what you mean. Of necessity, I can only relate my own experiences--for the first two months after I was a big emotional ball of hormones. Next two months I was just a little delicate about it, and then beyond that, I was more or less A-#1-OK. My current thoughts on the matter are, "Holy shit, look how NOT THE SIZE OF A BOWLING BALL my stomach is!! Look how I can get out of bed and low chairs without help, and my feet aren't swollen and I can go more than ten minutes without a bathroom break! Holy crap, I won't be squeezing a head and shoulders out of my vagina in nine days!" And then I roll on the floor hugging myself and giggling maniacally. It took awhile to get to that point, obviously.

But, I second the motion that you deserve to have someone bringing you ice cream and rubbing your back and watching stupid movies with you, and all the other things they would do if you'd just had any other surgery. The social stigma surrounding abortion is ridiculous--I think it usually does more damage than the procedure ever could

[anonymous]

I have no clue who you are and you have no clue who I am (I'm sure) but you are my new fucking idol. You are so incredible and I admire you so much. I am so glad you made this journal and honestly I wish you would write a book. I would buy it. Lots of love and support <3

[formerfetus]

are you a VHS or Beta fan?

i'm glad you are enjoying this journal. not because you would read my book or anything, but because i know i'm affecting people with my story. and i'm portraying it in an interesting way instead of just rambling (even though i do that sometimes).

<3

why?

[bonjosie]

why did you even get an abortion?? you couldnt have the baby and give it up for adoption?

Re: why?

[formerfetus]

you are obviously a fucking moron and haven't actually read this journal.

please do.

[puppy_breath]

To the anonymous commenter who said, "i hope your fetus dies":

I sincerely feel sorry for you and hope that you are able to overcome whatever happened to you that caused you to be so hateful.

Take care.