fanfiction - 12 days of christmas challenge
The Finale!
Author: Lily Kalanoa
Stories: several, of course
Rating: PG-13 at the most
Pairings: gee I wonder...Kakashi/Iruka, but it takes a while to get there
Disclaimer: I'm creative, but I borrow characters, don't we all?
Spoilers: A few minor ones for Kakashi Gaiden, but I think that's it.
Story 1 - Innocence and Experience
Part 1 - Snow
Part 2 - Gingerbread
Part 3 - Cranberries
Story 2 - The Desire to Believe
Part 1 - Family
Part 2 - Santa
Part 3 - Presents
Part 4 - Ribbon
Story 3 - One Drink Later
Part 1 - Party
Part 2 - Mistletoe
-o-o-o-o-o-
Story 4 - Inevitable Conclusion
Part 1 - Mittens
-o-o-o-o-o-
Iruka walked home, frantically rubbing his hands to try and keep them warm. It was late and he was tired, but none of it compared to the bite of the wind as it raced through the streets. The teacher had been delayed in class by Konohamaru and so had taken a later shift at the missions desk. Now it was nearing midnight and the only ninja outside were those that had no sense and those on patrol.
Every breath Iruka took sent a burst of warm steam into the air, probably the only thing he liked about the current weather. He breathed through his mouth just to enjoy the beauty of the little cloud. As long as there was no snow to entertain him, this would have to do. Though it was only a matter of time before it did snow; the past couple years had been barren of the white goodness, but it was more than cold enough this year. The only reason there hadn’t been snow yet was because of the unusually dry winter so far. A week into December and there hadn’t been even a hint of clouds since the early autumn rains. During the day, the sun brought the temperatures up to livable levels, but at night, with no clouds to trap that warmth, it plummeted at least twenty degrees.
Iruka tipped his head back, looking up at the clear, cold sky and breathing out another gust of steam, as if making the clouds from his out breath. A second little cloud came from high above him and the teacher paused, turning to look at the source more clearly. He quieted his breath on instinct, breathing through his nose to lessen the cloud of moisture and waited to see it again. There was someone on the roof of the building beside him. It made Iruka frown.
He laid out a map of Konoha in his head. Standing guards were positioned along the wall, of course, and several spots throughout the city, but a guard wouldn’t be perched on top of a low rent apartment building like this. Iruka looked down the street again; he wasn’t far from home, if he hurried he’d be there in ten minutes and could crank his heater up. He looked back up and saw another puff of breath. It could have been a patrol, the slightly more frozen part of his mind argued, that would make sense. Except that they weren’t moving and the nearest posted guard was three blocks north.
Damnit. It was freezing.
The teacher turned around, going back the way he came and getting around to the other side of the building. He quickly climbed to the next door roof, trying to get a look at the mystery person so he could confirm it was just a normal guard and go home. He made the jump to the same roof and crept around until he could see the person, only able to hope he was coming up on their back. The teacher paused, catching sight of flyaway silver hair and a familiar slanted stance. It was Kakashi, then. Well, he was certainly the most likely to stray from his post a bit; it was still odd, but Iruka could at least accept it from the man.
“Something I can do for you?”
Iruka jumped a little at the question and silently cursed himself for it. Of course Kakashi had known he was there, the cold must be numbing his logic. But if the other had acknowledged his presence, he could at least make sure nothing was wrong without seeming like too much of a fool. He walked forward as if approaching a long time friend, rubbing numb hands together once more. “Are you lost again Kakashi-sensei? I was wondering why you were up here.”
The man just shrugged a little. “I am lost, but it’s by choice.” He gestured at the large unit he was standing beside. “I can still see everything from here, but it’s the tiniest bit warmer.”
The machine beside them was a central air unit, working at full power to warm the small apartments below. Iruka could feel the miniscule heat coming off of it and raked his eyes over Kakashi’s form, noticing the rather obvious lack of anything resembling winter gear. Iruka himself was wearing thick mittens, two scarves and a pair of earmuffs (specially designed for ninja to provide warmth without muffling sound). A little startled, he stared openly at Kakashi. “What are you wearing?”
The masked man just shrugged. “It’s the standard uniform.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Iruka seethed, frowning at the other. “You have to be freezing! Can you even move?”
“Fortunately, I haven’t had to.” The masked man shrugged again. “I got back from a mission in Snow just a couple days ago. All my cold weather gear is still dirty and it seemed warm enough to leave it when my shift started.”
For a long minute, Iruka just blinked at him. “Your shift started while the sun was still up, didn’t it?”
“It had just set, actually, but yes, it was warmer. Too late to do anything now but get through until I’m relieved.” His eyes twitched over to focus on Iruka. “And explain myself to conscientious school teachers.”
The brunette huffed a little at him, but stepped forward again, closer to Kakashi. He quickly unwound one of his scarves and looped it behind the other man’s neck. “Give me your hands,” he muttered, pulling off his mittens.
Kakashi made no move to comply, staring at the teacher. “There’s no need to punish yourself for my mistake.”
Iruka frowned at him, not giving an answer right away. He reached for Kakashi’s arm, pulling the unresisting hand towards him and began forcing a mitten onto it over the fingerless gloves. “You can still use your weapons in these, right? You probably won’t have to, but just in case.”
As his other hand was stuffed into the woolen warmth, Kakashi caught hold of Iruka’s own hands. “I’m serious, there’s no reason for you to freeze. I did just get back from Snow and this may be bitter, but it’s not quite as bad.”
Iruka didn’t move right away, staring at Kakashi’s mostly covered face. Both of their cheeks were rosy from the cold, but Iruka’s more so and he was breathing faster as he exposed himself more to the weather. With a little sniff, he pulled his hands up and out of Kakashi’s hold, winding the ends of the scarf around the man’s neck again. “Don’t be silly. I’m on my way home finally, I can withstand for a few minutes and then crawl under a few dozen blankets. You’re out here for hours still and it’s only going to get colder.” He reached up, pulling off his earmuffs and putting the onto Kakashi’s head. Then without any further warning, he turned to the edge of the roof. “Try and stay warm, and don’t get in trouble for being up here. Goodnight, Kakashi-sensei.”
As the brunette leapt off, hurrying through the cold, Kakashi stepped to the edge of the roof to watch him go. He silently adjusted the bits of wool, reveling in the warmth they provided. It was practically the first time he’d spoken to Iruka in four years. After Iruka had fallen asleep in his arms, drunk, Kakashi had expected some change in their relationship, but it had never come. The teacher had remained distant, treating Kakashi with a colder demeanor while he got much closer with his other friends, as if afraid to interact with him. Kakashi certainly couldn’t blame the man for his attitude, but after that party, he had hoped for something more. And he regretted nothing more than that distance when he’d heard of Mizuki’s betrayal. If he’d just been able to befriend Iruka a year or two before, he might have been able to do something either to prevent it or to help the man deal with the aftermath.
Not for the first time, Kakashi thought back to his interactions with Iruka in their past. He had so much he had to undo if he was to gain entrance to the teacher’s life and he truly did want to, now that he better understood what he was missing out on. With a miniscule sigh, he reached up to pull down his mask and burry the newly exposed skin in the soft scarf he’d been given. He would think of something, he had to. He’d been pondering the problem off and on for years, but this was the first sign since that party so long ago that Iruka didn’t actually hate him. It gave the copy nin hope and with new resolve, he put his mind to newly formed Operation Win Iruka Over.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Story 4 - Inevitable Conclusion
Part 2 - Hot Cocoa
-o-o-o-o-o-
Kakashi woke late in the day after standing watch the previous night. With a stretch he rolled over, hand immediately grabbing mask and hitai-ate in a well-trained reflex. Fixing the items in place, he yawned and focused on the other items on his bed stand. Mittens, earmuffs, and a scarf, all made of the warmest, softest wool in varying shades of blue.
The previous night had been expectedly quiet, so Kakashi had been able to think for more than two hours about his problem, but hadn’t come up with a satisfactory plan. He had to find an excuse to talk with Iruka again. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate; his excuse was returning the mittens, he needed to think of a reason to turn it into more than that. He had thought of using things that Iruka liked, but hadn’t yet decided on something. As he slowly began to dress, the silver haired man went over his options again.
Iruka liked gingerbread. But from what Kakashi could remember, he liked it mostly because it was the holiday food he used to make with his parents and that was a memory Kakashi would prefer to stay far away from. If he managed to worm his way into Iruka’s life, then maybe he’d get closer to the man’s memories of his family, but until then he would give them a wide berth.
Iruka liked children, but Kakashi stayed well away from that one. He knew how to work with children, how to manipulate them, but he didn’t really get along with them that well. Besides that, if things went the way Kakashi was hoping, the conversation would be turning to at least somewhat more adult topics, and kids would only be in the way then.
Fully dressed, Kakashi went back to the bedside table and gathered Iruka’s things. Running his fingers across the fuzzy scarf, Kakashi suddenly knew what to do. Iruka liked warmth. The things he’d loaned were made of fine wool, without the scratchiness that often came with the material. They were probably some of the warmest you could get without spending three or four times as much. The fact that he’d loaned them to Kakashi without a second thought made the gesture much more touching. It was just the sort of person the teacher was, Kakashi admired that about him. His plan was coming to mind quickly and Kakashi set the winter garments on his bed and made for the door. He had a lot to do before he returned them to Iruka.
The afternoon was drawing to a close when Kakashi finally went to find his teacher. Iruka was in the schoolyard, watching over some children as they played after class, all of them bundled up in their warmest clothes. Iruka was wearing a pair of thin gloves and the scarf that he hadn’t given up the night before. Kakashi’s plan was going to work perfectly.
The first order of business was to recruit one of the children and with just two chocolate bars and the promise to return her things later, Kakashi easily gained the help he needed. It was several minutes before Iruka noticed her and the teacher knelt by the girl’s side. “Akiko, where’s your scarf? What happened to your coat!” Kakashi waited eagerly, hoping the little girl would do as he’d told her. After a pause she just shrugged and the copy ninja began to breathe again. Iruka was frowning, but after a moment he did exactly what Kakashi had been hoping. He quickly pulled off his sweater, putting it on the little girl and sending her home.
The next child required more persuasion, the rest of the half dozen candy bars Kakashi had brought with him. But once his cooperation had been bought, the little boy played out his role without a flaw. He went straight up to Iruka and whined loudly about being cold, forcing Iruka to act again.
The teacher was going a little pale, rubbing at his arms to try and fight off the cold as the sun set. By now most of the children were heading home, but deprived of his protection, Iruka would be feeling the cold long before he could leave himself. After a long minute looking at the boy beside him, the teacher nodded and unwound his scarf, quietly looping it around the boy’s neck. “Bring it back to me on Monday, all right? Now go on home and get warmed up.”
Kakashi was grinning widely from his hiding place amongst the trees. He waited another ten minutes, letting the children gradually filter out of the schoolyard and watching as Iruka began to shiver more and more. Finally, with the last two children on their way towards home, Kakashi sauntered out and wandered over to the teacher. “Yo,” he greeted quietly, attracting the man’s attention. When Iruka turned to greet him, Kakashi made a point of showing his disbelief. “Just last night you were reprimanding me for not dressing warm.”
Iruka’s eyes lighted instantly on the scarf and earmuffs in Kakashi’s hands and he stepped forward to get them. “This wasn’t exactly expected. Thank you so much, you have wonderful timing.” He pulled apart the two items and blinked a little, but said nothing as he quickly put both on.
Kakashi frowned, appearing surprised and annoyed with himself. “I forgot your mittens.”
“It’s all right,” Iruka shivered out, rubbing his arms again. “You can get them to me later, I don’t mind.”
“No, no!” Kakashi reached out, taking one of the man’s hands. “Come on, you must be freezing out here.”
Iruka looked around, the slightest bit frantic. “I have to stay . . .”
“The kids are gone, come on. I promise I won’t keep you long and you can come back to finish anything you still need to do, all right?” Iruka was still frowning, but he couldn’t come up with a convincing argument to refuse, especially when just the other man’s hand was enough to thaw his own numb fingers.
Kakashi led the teacher straight to his home, thrilled that his plan was going so well. He opened his door and stepped aside to let Iruka in first and just watched the man’s reaction. Iruka took a single step inside and audibly gasped. His hands came up again to rub his quickly warming arms and he sighed again, stepping further into the heat.
Kakashi stepped around him, quickly going through the steps he needed to do still. He turned off the central air to eliminate that noise pollution and turned down the portable heater that had been on since before he’d left. He quickly scurried to the kitchen area and flipped on the burner to warm the pot sitting there and finally turned back to Iruka.
The teacher was watching him warily, some confusion showing on his face. “What is all this?” Kakashi just shrugged, not telling the other that he’d planned every move and possible reaction. The teacher just shook his head a little. “I do need to get back, if I could have my mittens?”
“Don’t be silly,” Kakashi muttered, wishing the pot would warm faster. “You just got here, you can stay a few minutes.” He cast a smile at the teacher from behind his mask, but Iruka still looked quite nervous just being in his apartment. Kakashi could see his plan fraying at the edges; it would do him no good at all if he couldn’t even convince Iruka to hang out. He was saved as the pot finally whistled, telling him it was ready and Kakashi spun eagerly. “Come on,” he muttered, quickly pouring two cups of steaming liquid. “The whole point of this was to warm you up, you can’t stay at all?”
One mug was pushed into Iruka’s hands and he nodded, lips twitching into a strained smile. “I suppose I can stay for a little bit.” Kakashi threw another bright smile at the man, thrilled that his sense of propriety made him stay regardless of how uncomfortable he felt. Exactly as planned. Iruka took a first tentative sip at his drink and his eyes widened, quickly taking another. “This is delicious!”
“Hot cocoa made with dark chocolate. Oh, but here.” He quickly reached behind him, digging out a little brown stick and using it to stir the teacher’s drink. “Try it now, the cinnamon makes it even better.”
Iruka shut his eyes, breathing the warm steam and taking another long sip. He was smiling gently as he pulled the mug from his lips and Kakashi felt his breath hitch. The teacher was gorgeous when he smiled like that . . . he had to find a way to befriend the man at the very least. After another sip and another transcendent smile, Iruka opened his eyes again, but as he looked at Kakashi, the smile faded. “Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. This is wonderful, but I should get back to the academy.”
Damn. Kakashi could control a lot about this, but if Iruka simply wouldn’t accept him, there was no way for him to change it. “I suppose,” he mediated. He’d wanted to warm the other up to the idea of friendship before hinting at it, knowing Iruka would be resistant given their past. Still, if he tried to keep the teacher, he’d be even more hesitant, better to make his move now. “I remember you know a few things about cooking, too. Maybe we could exchange recipes sometime, you know, become a pair of regular old biddies!” He laughed at the rather forced joke, but it faded quickly as Iruka didn’t react. “Ah, I just meant . . .”
“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei,” Iruka said again, handing back his mug. “I really do need to get going, if you’ll just get my mittens?”
Kakashi took the mug and gave a little sigh. Everything had gone exactly as he’d planned except Iruka’s reaction. With sinking hopes, Kakashi played his last card. “I suppose asking you out drinking is out of the question then?”
Iruka’s lips thinned into a line, his discomfort showing again. “We aren’t friends, Kakashi.” His eyes twitched to the side. “I’m sorry, but-“
“Iruka, I’m trying to change that here. I know you can see that, you’re not blind.”
“I don’t want to change it. I don’t like how you deal with life and students and friends. I’m a teacher, Kakashi. I actually know what I’m talking about when I say your methods are . . . I’m sorry, Kakashi.”
The silver haired man said nothing for a moment, observing the other. Iruka wasn’t meeting his eyes and he kept making excuses instead of just turning him down. With a sigh, Kakashi reached into his pocket, pulling out the man’s mittens. He could see Iruka frown realizing he’d had them the whole time, but Kakashi spoke before the other could do anything. “If that’s how you feel, I won’t push. But that isn’t what you told me before.”
He could see Iruka freeze at that, could practically see the man’s brain crank into high gear. “Before when?” he finally asked, obviously nervous.
Kakashi nodded slightly, noticing the teacher’s reaction. He wasn’t being entirely honest, that much was obvious. The question was how much he was willing to own up to. “You really don’t remember, do you?” Iruka finally looked at him again, but said nothing. Quietly Kakashi turned his back, putting the mugs on the counter and speaking to the wall. “Four years ago at one of Hayate’s parties.”
Behind him he could hear Iruka breathe a little denial, “Oh no.”
“You were drunk and I ended up taking you home-“
“I’m very, very sorry,” Iruka suddenly blurted loudly. “Whatever it is I did-“
Kakashi spun on him, stepping forward to leave only a few inches between them. “Iruka, stop. I’m the one who should apologize. I’m always the one who should apologize with you.” Iruka’s eyes were wide, but he didn’t move back from the other. Kakashi was the one to retreat, giving him more room. “You told me back then that you liked me. Well, you said you wouldn’t mind being like me, that you sort of admired me. I have to believe you were telling the truth then because you were drunk, which means you’re lying to me now.” He took another step back, making sure Iruka took his mittens, and settled back onto his hips. “But if you want me to back off, all right. If you’d rather still hate me, I won’t bother you again.”
Iruka’s eyes fell again and he muttered to the floor. “I don’t hate you. It’s . . . I just . . .”
“You just don’t want to be like me.” He took the pot of cocoa again and filled a thermos, turning to give it to Iruka. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Sensei. At the very least I hope this won’t worsen our relationship?”
Iruka still wasn’t looking at him, but took the thermos with a little sigh. “I just don’t know how to be around you. Goodbye, Kakashi.”
-o-o-o-o-o-
Story 4 - Inevitable Conclusion
Part 3 - Christmas Tree
-o-o-o-o-o-
“Iruka-sensei!”
Iruka looked up slowly at the voice calling his name and blinked. “Yes?”
Kurenai crossed her arms, leaning one hip against the teacher’s desk. “I’m trying to organize the holiday party this year, where’s your head?”
Iruka blinked again. Well, he had been thinking, though he hadn’t realized he’d gone so far into his own little world. He’d been pouring over his conversation with Kakashi all day, but now he just shook his head to try and clear the thoughts. “You’re planning the party?”
For a moment the dark haired woman hesitated, wanting to press, but the moment passed she just nodded sadly. “Yes, since Hayate . . . well I’m not alone, Anko and Asuma are both helping, too.”
“Ah, so I should eat beforehand because there’ll be nothing but beer and sake.”
The woman smiled, winking at him. “This is why I wanted to talk to you. Now I know to make sure there’s chips and pretzels and stuff!”
“Meat,” the teacher muttered. “Make sure there’s some meat and bread.”
“Will do, sweetie. So you’ll be there, of course, and Genma, Kotetsu, Kakashi.” The woman paused, not missing the little frown that crossed Iruka’s face. She stood straighter, crossing her arms and leaning over the teacher. “What’s going on?”
“What? Nothing!” After a moment of Kurenai staring at him with one eyebrow arched, Iruka sighed. “It’s nothing. Kakashi and I sort of had a fight.”
“Ugh, another one? I hope it wasn’t as bad as when he put his team up for the chunin exam.” Iruka looked away at that and Kurenai leaned forward to put a hand on his shoulder. “You just need to leave him alone, ‘Ruka. Accept that he’s a lost cause and just avoid him.”
“It’s fine Kurenai, thank you. It was nothing.” Certainly not something Iruka wanted help with. After another moment, Kurenai nodded and turned to leave. “Let me know when you have the date,” Iruka called after her, getting a nod by way of reply.
With his guest leaving, Iruka’s mind lingered on the party for a few moments, but gradually drifted back to Kakashi. He didn’t really feel right lying to his friends, but ‘fight’ was probably the most accurate term for what they’d had the day before. Kakashi honestly seemed to be trying, but no matter how much he thought about it, Iruka just couldn’t return the feeling. He thought about just trying to be with him and suddenly all he could think of was the past. He knew how Kakashi worked, how he lived. In that world, Kakashi came first and he used any means he deemed acceptable to get what he wanted. Iruka had tried to enter that world, to change it, open it up a little. He’d failed, more than once, and he didn’t like the thought of trying again.
With a sigh, Iruka stood. He couldn’t let this change their relationship, he was determined to do that at least. He wasn’t friends with Kakashi, but he didn’t want to risk getting on his bad side either. He would just ignore it, pretend it never happened, so long as Kakashi was willing to do the same thing. Decision made, the teacher finished up his work and quietly left the academy for some chores around town.
Iruka was a little surprised an hour later to see none other than Kakashi walking down the street towards him. The teacher could see Raidou and Anko glaring at the man as he walked past; clearly Kurenai had already talked to them. Kakashi just ignored the looks, coming almost right up to the teacher. “Yo,” he greeted, stopping in front of Iruka and forcing him to stop as well.
Iruka stayed where he was, not backing away from the other. “Good afternoon, Kakashi-sensei.” They were going back to normal. At least Iruka hoped the other would take the hint.
The masked man nodded and took a step back. “I know you’re probably busy, but I was hoping I might get your help with something.”
For a moment Iruka kept quiet, turning this over in his mind. He wasn’t forcing anything, he didn’t even seem interested, really. But nothing had seemed out of place the day before, either . . .
Kakashi was watching Iruka closely, waiting for his response. It was obvious the brunette just wanted to leave, but it was equally obvious he was tempted. Kakashi hadn’t put nearly as much thought into it this time, but he was still determined to get Iruka to accept him.
It seemed like forever before Iruka met his eyes again. “What do you need help with?”
“I’m trying to decorate my tree, but It’s not really coming out right. You seem the type that would be good at that sort of thing. If you have the time, of course.”
Iruka looked away again, silent for another minute before he sighed. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can help you right now.”
Kakashi smothered his own sigh, just shrugging instead and slouching away down the street. “Maybe another time.”
Iruka was certain he’d made the right decision and as he went down the street towards his friends, their expressions only encouraged him. The sooner he got out of the copy ninja’s life, the better. Raidou smiled as Iruka reached them and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Heard you and him had another fight. That guy just doesn’t know when to quit.”
Anko was on his other side in a blink. “Seriously. That freak just needs to leave you and everyone else alone. Doesn’t he realize that trouble follows him around like his dogs?”
“If you get involved with him, bad thing will happen to you, everyone knows that.”
At this, Iruka blinked. He’d heard this before, dozens of times in passing conversation, only a couple with the words actually directed at him. Now he recalled the muttered warnings and childish rumors in snatches and he frowned at Raidou. “Say that again?”
“What, it’s true. Even when he was a kid, Kakashi was a weird one.”
Anko just nodded. “Yeah. The only people that can really stand him for long are Gai and Ibiki and, well, that says a whole bunch right there, doesn’t it?”
Iruka carefully disentangled from his friends, taking a step away as a thought occurred to him. “Hey guys, I’ve got some stuff to do, all right?”
Raidou frowned, but let the man go, even grabbing Anko’s shoulder when she made to follow him. “Don’t do something foolish, Iruka. You gonna be okay?”
The teacher smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry, I just have plans already, okay? I’ll see you guys later.”
Iruka wasn’t positive he knew where he was going, but after a few minutes he arrived at the door he was looking for. A gentle knock and barely a pause and the door opened quietly, Kakashi looking out at the teacher. He looked a bit confused, but didn’t protest as Iruka stepped into the apartment uninvited. Inside, he turned on Kakashi, looking his square in the eye. “I decided to help you. I don’t give up on people - anyone - and I realized I’m basing my opinions on the past and on what other people think. You aren’t good at any of this, you treat it like a math problem, but your only real practice is with people almost as unsociable as you are, so you aren’t really to blame. I’m here to give you a chance.”
Once the teacher had finished his speech, Kakashi blinked twice and shut the door. “I think that was a compliment. Thanks.” A little unsure of the sudden change in the other’s attitude, he led the way through to the living area. He gestured at the tree as he passed through to the kitchen to get his guest a drink. “I got it this morning, but like I said, I’m not doing it right.”
Everything Iruka had decided in the last twenty minutes - that Kakashi wasn’t as bad as everyone said, that the only reason he failed so miserably at most attempts at being social was a sad lack of practice - was suddenly and forcefully confirmed by the man’s Christmas tree. It was a normal enough tree, set in a nice stand against one wall, blocking a small bookcase. The problem was the decoration: the lights seemed to have been newly purchased, but they were bunched oddly and draping straight down from the tip to the bottom. There were store bought ornaments in boxes and bags surrounding the tree, but it looked as though they’d been discarded and on the tree itself were small glinting bits of metal. Stepping closer, Iruka could see they were shuriken, and several kunai hung from their round ends. The teacher just stared, mouth agape, almost unable to comprehend it.
“Lost cause?” Kakashi asked, right behind Iruka. The nearness made the teacher jump, but he shook his head.
“It’s . . . certainly an interesting take on decorations. Let’s, uh, let’s start from scratch. Take everything off and we’ll start over.”
Kakashi nodded and went to work. Pushing a mug of cocoa into Iruka’s hand, he stepped up to the tree and began taking off the little deadly implements with the casual care of someone who was used to death. “I bought these after I talked to you, thought I could fix it myself.” Kakashi toed the bags of ornaments. “So far I can’t figure out how to get them to stay, though.”
Iruka bent to examine the boxes more closely. They were filled with fairly traditional glass ball ornaments in various colors. Some icicles and a few glass stars. “Where are your,” Iruka started but suddenly stopped, realizing what the more likely question was. “Did you buy ornament hooks?” The blank look he received was answer enough and Iruka smiled a little. “It’s all right. Do you have some paper clips? We’ll just make them.”
Kakashi finished with the weapons and quickly pulled off the lights. “I knew you were the right one to ask, ulterior motives aside.” The masked man looked up carefully, hoping the comment wouldn’t scare his guest away again. Iruka didn’t seem to react to it, moving to the opposite side of the tree. “I’m glad you decided to help me, Iruka, but if you don’t want to be here-“
“Hand me the lights,” Iruka commanded and when Kakashi did as he was told he began winding one end around the top. The two quickly fell into the rhythm of passing the cord back and forth, slowly encircling the tree. After a minute of silence, Iruka sighed. “So, tell me why you got a tree.”
Kakashi leaned to one side, looking at the teacher. “I’d rather not.”
Iruka met his eyes and frowned a little. “I thought you said last night you weren’t going to force anything. This was purely to get me over here again?”
“I’m trying, Iruka, I am. It’s obvious you don’t hate me and you seem to like the idea of being friends on the surface. You only shy away from it when you stop and think about it. You did tell me-“
“That was a long time ago, Kakashi. I don’t even remember it, you could just be making it up. I wouldn’t put it past you, honestly.”
Kakashi sighed, finishing the lights and plugging them in, lighting the tree in a rainbow. “I’m not lying to you about anything, I’m not Mizuki.” Kakashi’s eyes snapped back up to catch Iruka’s reaction to the slip. The teacher tried to hide his frown, ducking behind the tree, but not fast enough to hide it from Kakashi. The copy nin frowned harder, quickly steering the conversation away, even if the topic just shifted the discomfort. “You told me you wouldn’t mind being like me. You said it was because I reminded you of Obito.” He could just make out Iruka through the tree branches and he saw the nod of agreement, no matter how reluctant it seemed to be. It was at least a step in the right direction. “You know, Naruto reminds me a lot of you. The you from fifteen years ago, when I was a jerk and you played jokes all the time.”
“You’re still a jerk.” Iruka sighed again, walking over to start on the ornaments. “Is that why you pick on him so much?” He asked half-heartedly. This wasn’t going as well as he’d hoped. He still wasn’t comfortable with Kakashi and it was hard just being in the same room as him. Of course, the logical voice in his head pointed out, it would take more than one night and two strained conversations to change anything.
Kakashi deliberately stayed where he was, trying to not blow his chance by crowding the teacher. “I see the same potential in Naruto that is in some of the greatest ninja. I pick on him to try and bring it out.” He paused a moment, catching Iruka’s eyes. “Didn’t you do the same while he was still with you?”
“I did not pick on him.” Iruka raked a hand through his hair. This didn’t seem like it was working, but at least it was warm. Still determined to give the other a proper chance, Iruka shrugged out of his vest, pulling at his collar a little to get more comfortable.
Kakashi was still watching the teacher, honestly trying to make the man comfortable, trying to make this work. But when Iruka shifted and tugged at his shirt, a little glint of silver caught the masked man’s attention. “What’s that?”
Iruka looked up, a little startled. After a moment he seemed to figure out what Kakashi was talking about and one hand went to his throat. In the same instant his face darkened considerably. “It’s not something you’d understand.”
Kakashi abandoned his tree, stalking towards the other. He pulled down the man’s collar, looking at the simple chain necklace he was wearing. Iruka did nothing to avoid the scrutiny, staring stubbornly into Kakashi’s face. The masked man looked up, meeting his eyes with a frown. “What is this?”
“It’s something very important to me,” he growled out. “The last thing I ever got from Santa.”
Kakashi took a step back, releasing the other with raised eyebrows. “From Santa?” he asked, obvious disbelief in his voice.
Iruka’s fingers curled around the necklace, glaring back at Kakashi. “Yes,” he snapped, officially giving up playing nice. “My first Christmas alone was the last time I ever got a Santa gift.”
“After you snuck into my house,” Kakashi accused.
Iruka didn’t bother responding to that. “It was the last time someone tried to bring that out in me. The last gift I ever got that was to a child instead of a friend or teacher.”
“And you still attribute it to ‘Santa’?”
“You know what I think about that, Kakashi, of course I call it Santa!”
“It was from me!”
“I know that!” Both men fell into silence, the anger dissipating gradually. Iruka tore his eyes away, choosing to look at the tree again as he began speaking slowly. “Of course I knew it was from you. And I knew it can’t have been your idea. I wear this every day because it’s the only thing I have that proves ninja like you are still human. And one of the last things Obito ever gave anybody.”
For another moment Kakashi was silent before going back to his tree himself. “It was his idea. Rin actually picked it out. I almost took it back after I saw the stunt you pulled, but I didn’t.” He was toying with the light strand, straightening invisible kinks and shifting it around for no other reason that an excuse to keep his back to the teacher. “So here’s the part where I apologize again, right? The big tearful confession where I tell you I’m in love with you and hate ever doing any of that stuff to you, right?”
“I need to leave now.”
“It’s true! I regret everything, and I am in love with you. Well, all right, maybe love is a little too ‘happy ending’, but I like you at the very least. I have since that party, that’s why I’m trying so hard to fix all this!” Behind him, Kakashi could hear the door of his apartment close and he stopped talking. He shut his eyes with a sigh and took a minute to calm his rattled nerves. Then very slowly he opened his mouth again. “I thought you were leaving.”
The silver haired man turned, looking at Iruka where the teacher stood beside the door. “If I leave now, your tree will never get done. I’ll bet you don’t even have a star, do you?” He was tense, unease still obvious, even across the room, but he slowly walked forward until he was right beside the copy nin again.
“Lost cause,” Kakashi muttered softly.
Iruka nodded. “But I don’t give up on people. I don’t like you, Hatake.” The teacher reached up, tugging the other man’s mask down and leaning in for the briefest kiss. “That doesn’t necessarily affect whether or not I love you.” He gave another smile, the same sort of transcendent smile that made Kakashi melt, and the teacher leaned in again, kissing stunned lips in the glow of the Christmas tree.
Author: Lily Kalanoa
Stories: several, of course
Rating: PG-13 at the most
Pairings: gee I wonder...Kakashi/Iruka, but it takes a while to get there
Disclaimer: I'm creative, but I borrow characters, don't we all?
Spoilers: A few minor ones for Kakashi Gaiden, but I think that's it.
Story 1 - Innocence and Experience
Part 1 - Snow
Part 2 - Gingerbread
Part 3 - Cranberries
Story 2 - The Desire to Believe
Part 1 - Family
Part 2 - Santa
Part 3 - Presents
Part 4 - Ribbon
Story 3 - One Drink Later
Part 1 - Party
Part 2 - Mistletoe
-o-o-o-o-o-
Story 4 - Inevitable Conclusion
Part 1 - Mittens
-o-o-o-o-o-
Iruka walked home, frantically rubbing his hands to try and keep them warm. It was late and he was tired, but none of it compared to the bite of the wind as it raced through the streets. The teacher had been delayed in class by Konohamaru and so had taken a later shift at the missions desk. Now it was nearing midnight and the only ninja outside were those that had no sense and those on patrol.
Every breath Iruka took sent a burst of warm steam into the air, probably the only thing he liked about the current weather. He breathed through his mouth just to enjoy the beauty of the little cloud. As long as there was no snow to entertain him, this would have to do. Though it was only a matter of time before it did snow; the past couple years had been barren of the white goodness, but it was more than cold enough this year. The only reason there hadn’t been snow yet was because of the unusually dry winter so far. A week into December and there hadn’t been even a hint of clouds since the early autumn rains. During the day, the sun brought the temperatures up to livable levels, but at night, with no clouds to trap that warmth, it plummeted at least twenty degrees.
Iruka tipped his head back, looking up at the clear, cold sky and breathing out another gust of steam, as if making the clouds from his out breath. A second little cloud came from high above him and the teacher paused, turning to look at the source more clearly. He quieted his breath on instinct, breathing through his nose to lessen the cloud of moisture and waited to see it again. There was someone on the roof of the building beside him. It made Iruka frown.
He laid out a map of Konoha in his head. Standing guards were positioned along the wall, of course, and several spots throughout the city, but a guard wouldn’t be perched on top of a low rent apartment building like this. Iruka looked down the street again; he wasn’t far from home, if he hurried he’d be there in ten minutes and could crank his heater up. He looked back up and saw another puff of breath. It could have been a patrol, the slightly more frozen part of his mind argued, that would make sense. Except that they weren’t moving and the nearest posted guard was three blocks north.
Damnit. It was freezing.
The teacher turned around, going back the way he came and getting around to the other side of the building. He quickly climbed to the next door roof, trying to get a look at the mystery person so he could confirm it was just a normal guard and go home. He made the jump to the same roof and crept around until he could see the person, only able to hope he was coming up on their back. The teacher paused, catching sight of flyaway silver hair and a familiar slanted stance. It was Kakashi, then. Well, he was certainly the most likely to stray from his post a bit; it was still odd, but Iruka could at least accept it from the man.
“Something I can do for you?”
Iruka jumped a little at the question and silently cursed himself for it. Of course Kakashi had known he was there, the cold must be numbing his logic. But if the other had acknowledged his presence, he could at least make sure nothing was wrong without seeming like too much of a fool. He walked forward as if approaching a long time friend, rubbing numb hands together once more. “Are you lost again Kakashi-sensei? I was wondering why you were up here.”
The man just shrugged a little. “I am lost, but it’s by choice.” He gestured at the large unit he was standing beside. “I can still see everything from here, but it’s the tiniest bit warmer.”
The machine beside them was a central air unit, working at full power to warm the small apartments below. Iruka could feel the miniscule heat coming off of it and raked his eyes over Kakashi’s form, noticing the rather obvious lack of anything resembling winter gear. Iruka himself was wearing thick mittens, two scarves and a pair of earmuffs (specially designed for ninja to provide warmth without muffling sound). A little startled, he stared openly at Kakashi. “What are you wearing?”
The masked man just shrugged. “It’s the standard uniform.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Iruka seethed, frowning at the other. “You have to be freezing! Can you even move?”
“Fortunately, I haven’t had to.” The masked man shrugged again. “I got back from a mission in Snow just a couple days ago. All my cold weather gear is still dirty and it seemed warm enough to leave it when my shift started.”
For a long minute, Iruka just blinked at him. “Your shift started while the sun was still up, didn’t it?”
“It had just set, actually, but yes, it was warmer. Too late to do anything now but get through until I’m relieved.” His eyes twitched over to focus on Iruka. “And explain myself to conscientious school teachers.”
The brunette huffed a little at him, but stepped forward again, closer to Kakashi. He quickly unwound one of his scarves and looped it behind the other man’s neck. “Give me your hands,” he muttered, pulling off his mittens.
Kakashi made no move to comply, staring at the teacher. “There’s no need to punish yourself for my mistake.”
Iruka frowned at him, not giving an answer right away. He reached for Kakashi’s arm, pulling the unresisting hand towards him and began forcing a mitten onto it over the fingerless gloves. “You can still use your weapons in these, right? You probably won’t have to, but just in case.”
As his other hand was stuffed into the woolen warmth, Kakashi caught hold of Iruka’s own hands. “I’m serious, there’s no reason for you to freeze. I did just get back from Snow and this may be bitter, but it’s not quite as bad.”
Iruka didn’t move right away, staring at Kakashi’s mostly covered face. Both of their cheeks were rosy from the cold, but Iruka’s more so and he was breathing faster as he exposed himself more to the weather. With a little sniff, he pulled his hands up and out of Kakashi’s hold, winding the ends of the scarf around the man’s neck again. “Don’t be silly. I’m on my way home finally, I can withstand for a few minutes and then crawl under a few dozen blankets. You’re out here for hours still and it’s only going to get colder.” He reached up, pulling off his earmuffs and putting the onto Kakashi’s head. Then without any further warning, he turned to the edge of the roof. “Try and stay warm, and don’t get in trouble for being up here. Goodnight, Kakashi-sensei.”
As the brunette leapt off, hurrying through the cold, Kakashi stepped to the edge of the roof to watch him go. He silently adjusted the bits of wool, reveling in the warmth they provided. It was practically the first time he’d spoken to Iruka in four years. After Iruka had fallen asleep in his arms, drunk, Kakashi had expected some change in their relationship, but it had never come. The teacher had remained distant, treating Kakashi with a colder demeanor while he got much closer with his other friends, as if afraid to interact with him. Kakashi certainly couldn’t blame the man for his attitude, but after that party, he had hoped for something more. And he regretted nothing more than that distance when he’d heard of Mizuki’s betrayal. If he’d just been able to befriend Iruka a year or two before, he might have been able to do something either to prevent it or to help the man deal with the aftermath.
Not for the first time, Kakashi thought back to his interactions with Iruka in their past. He had so much he had to undo if he was to gain entrance to the teacher’s life and he truly did want to, now that he better understood what he was missing out on. With a miniscule sigh, he reached up to pull down his mask and burry the newly exposed skin in the soft scarf he’d been given. He would think of something, he had to. He’d been pondering the problem off and on for years, but this was the first sign since that party so long ago that Iruka didn’t actually hate him. It gave the copy nin hope and with new resolve, he put his mind to newly formed Operation Win Iruka Over.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Story 4 - Inevitable Conclusion
Part 2 - Hot Cocoa
-o-o-o-o-o-
Kakashi woke late in the day after standing watch the previous night. With a stretch he rolled over, hand immediately grabbing mask and hitai-ate in a well-trained reflex. Fixing the items in place, he yawned and focused on the other items on his bed stand. Mittens, earmuffs, and a scarf, all made of the warmest, softest wool in varying shades of blue.
The previous night had been expectedly quiet, so Kakashi had been able to think for more than two hours about his problem, but hadn’t come up with a satisfactory plan. He had to find an excuse to talk with Iruka again. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate; his excuse was returning the mittens, he needed to think of a reason to turn it into more than that. He had thought of using things that Iruka liked, but hadn’t yet decided on something. As he slowly began to dress, the silver haired man went over his options again.
Iruka liked gingerbread. But from what Kakashi could remember, he liked it mostly because it was the holiday food he used to make with his parents and that was a memory Kakashi would prefer to stay far away from. If he managed to worm his way into Iruka’s life, then maybe he’d get closer to the man’s memories of his family, but until then he would give them a wide berth.
Iruka liked children, but Kakashi stayed well away from that one. He knew how to work with children, how to manipulate them, but he didn’t really get along with them that well. Besides that, if things went the way Kakashi was hoping, the conversation would be turning to at least somewhat more adult topics, and kids would only be in the way then.
Fully dressed, Kakashi went back to the bedside table and gathered Iruka’s things. Running his fingers across the fuzzy scarf, Kakashi suddenly knew what to do. Iruka liked warmth. The things he’d loaned were made of fine wool, without the scratchiness that often came with the material. They were probably some of the warmest you could get without spending three or four times as much. The fact that he’d loaned them to Kakashi without a second thought made the gesture much more touching. It was just the sort of person the teacher was, Kakashi admired that about him. His plan was coming to mind quickly and Kakashi set the winter garments on his bed and made for the door. He had a lot to do before he returned them to Iruka.
The afternoon was drawing to a close when Kakashi finally went to find his teacher. Iruka was in the schoolyard, watching over some children as they played after class, all of them bundled up in their warmest clothes. Iruka was wearing a pair of thin gloves and the scarf that he hadn’t given up the night before. Kakashi’s plan was going to work perfectly.
The first order of business was to recruit one of the children and with just two chocolate bars and the promise to return her things later, Kakashi easily gained the help he needed. It was several minutes before Iruka noticed her and the teacher knelt by the girl’s side. “Akiko, where’s your scarf? What happened to your coat!” Kakashi waited eagerly, hoping the little girl would do as he’d told her. After a pause she just shrugged and the copy ninja began to breathe again. Iruka was frowning, but after a moment he did exactly what Kakashi had been hoping. He quickly pulled off his sweater, putting it on the little girl and sending her home.
The next child required more persuasion, the rest of the half dozen candy bars Kakashi had brought with him. But once his cooperation had been bought, the little boy played out his role without a flaw. He went straight up to Iruka and whined loudly about being cold, forcing Iruka to act again.
The teacher was going a little pale, rubbing at his arms to try and fight off the cold as the sun set. By now most of the children were heading home, but deprived of his protection, Iruka would be feeling the cold long before he could leave himself. After a long minute looking at the boy beside him, the teacher nodded and unwound his scarf, quietly looping it around the boy’s neck. “Bring it back to me on Monday, all right? Now go on home and get warmed up.”
Kakashi was grinning widely from his hiding place amongst the trees. He waited another ten minutes, letting the children gradually filter out of the schoolyard and watching as Iruka began to shiver more and more. Finally, with the last two children on their way towards home, Kakashi sauntered out and wandered over to the teacher. “Yo,” he greeted quietly, attracting the man’s attention. When Iruka turned to greet him, Kakashi made a point of showing his disbelief. “Just last night you were reprimanding me for not dressing warm.”
Iruka’s eyes lighted instantly on the scarf and earmuffs in Kakashi’s hands and he stepped forward to get them. “This wasn’t exactly expected. Thank you so much, you have wonderful timing.” He pulled apart the two items and blinked a little, but said nothing as he quickly put both on.
Kakashi frowned, appearing surprised and annoyed with himself. “I forgot your mittens.”
“It’s all right,” Iruka shivered out, rubbing his arms again. “You can get them to me later, I don’t mind.”
“No, no!” Kakashi reached out, taking one of the man’s hands. “Come on, you must be freezing out here.”
Iruka looked around, the slightest bit frantic. “I have to stay . . .”
“The kids are gone, come on. I promise I won’t keep you long and you can come back to finish anything you still need to do, all right?” Iruka was still frowning, but he couldn’t come up with a convincing argument to refuse, especially when just the other man’s hand was enough to thaw his own numb fingers.
Kakashi led the teacher straight to his home, thrilled that his plan was going so well. He opened his door and stepped aside to let Iruka in first and just watched the man’s reaction. Iruka took a single step inside and audibly gasped. His hands came up again to rub his quickly warming arms and he sighed again, stepping further into the heat.
Kakashi stepped around him, quickly going through the steps he needed to do still. He turned off the central air to eliminate that noise pollution and turned down the portable heater that had been on since before he’d left. He quickly scurried to the kitchen area and flipped on the burner to warm the pot sitting there and finally turned back to Iruka.
The teacher was watching him warily, some confusion showing on his face. “What is all this?” Kakashi just shrugged, not telling the other that he’d planned every move and possible reaction. The teacher just shook his head a little. “I do need to get back, if I could have my mittens?”
“Don’t be silly,” Kakashi muttered, wishing the pot would warm faster. “You just got here, you can stay a few minutes.” He cast a smile at the teacher from behind his mask, but Iruka still looked quite nervous just being in his apartment. Kakashi could see his plan fraying at the edges; it would do him no good at all if he couldn’t even convince Iruka to hang out. He was saved as the pot finally whistled, telling him it was ready and Kakashi spun eagerly. “Come on,” he muttered, quickly pouring two cups of steaming liquid. “The whole point of this was to warm you up, you can’t stay at all?”
One mug was pushed into Iruka’s hands and he nodded, lips twitching into a strained smile. “I suppose I can stay for a little bit.” Kakashi threw another bright smile at the man, thrilled that his sense of propriety made him stay regardless of how uncomfortable he felt. Exactly as planned. Iruka took a first tentative sip at his drink and his eyes widened, quickly taking another. “This is delicious!”
“Hot cocoa made with dark chocolate. Oh, but here.” He quickly reached behind him, digging out a little brown stick and using it to stir the teacher’s drink. “Try it now, the cinnamon makes it even better.”
Iruka shut his eyes, breathing the warm steam and taking another long sip. He was smiling gently as he pulled the mug from his lips and Kakashi felt his breath hitch. The teacher was gorgeous when he smiled like that . . . he had to find a way to befriend the man at the very least. After another sip and another transcendent smile, Iruka opened his eyes again, but as he looked at Kakashi, the smile faded. “Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. This is wonderful, but I should get back to the academy.”
Damn. Kakashi could control a lot about this, but if Iruka simply wouldn’t accept him, there was no way for him to change it. “I suppose,” he mediated. He’d wanted to warm the other up to the idea of friendship before hinting at it, knowing Iruka would be resistant given their past. Still, if he tried to keep the teacher, he’d be even more hesitant, better to make his move now. “I remember you know a few things about cooking, too. Maybe we could exchange recipes sometime, you know, become a pair of regular old biddies!” He laughed at the rather forced joke, but it faded quickly as Iruka didn’t react. “Ah, I just meant . . .”
“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei,” Iruka said again, handing back his mug. “I really do need to get going, if you’ll just get my mittens?”
Kakashi took the mug and gave a little sigh. Everything had gone exactly as he’d planned except Iruka’s reaction. With sinking hopes, Kakashi played his last card. “I suppose asking you out drinking is out of the question then?”
Iruka’s lips thinned into a line, his discomfort showing again. “We aren’t friends, Kakashi.” His eyes twitched to the side. “I’m sorry, but-“
“Iruka, I’m trying to change that here. I know you can see that, you’re not blind.”
“I don’t want to change it. I don’t like how you deal with life and students and friends. I’m a teacher, Kakashi. I actually know what I’m talking about when I say your methods are . . . I’m sorry, Kakashi.”
The silver haired man said nothing for a moment, observing the other. Iruka wasn’t meeting his eyes and he kept making excuses instead of just turning him down. With a sigh, Kakashi reached into his pocket, pulling out the man’s mittens. He could see Iruka frown realizing he’d had them the whole time, but Kakashi spoke before the other could do anything. “If that’s how you feel, I won’t push. But that isn’t what you told me before.”
He could see Iruka freeze at that, could practically see the man’s brain crank into high gear. “Before when?” he finally asked, obviously nervous.
Kakashi nodded slightly, noticing the teacher’s reaction. He wasn’t being entirely honest, that much was obvious. The question was how much he was willing to own up to. “You really don’t remember, do you?” Iruka finally looked at him again, but said nothing. Quietly Kakashi turned his back, putting the mugs on the counter and speaking to the wall. “Four years ago at one of Hayate’s parties.”
Behind him he could hear Iruka breathe a little denial, “Oh no.”
“You were drunk and I ended up taking you home-“
“I’m very, very sorry,” Iruka suddenly blurted loudly. “Whatever it is I did-“
Kakashi spun on him, stepping forward to leave only a few inches between them. “Iruka, stop. I’m the one who should apologize. I’m always the one who should apologize with you.” Iruka’s eyes were wide, but he didn’t move back from the other. Kakashi was the one to retreat, giving him more room. “You told me back then that you liked me. Well, you said you wouldn’t mind being like me, that you sort of admired me. I have to believe you were telling the truth then because you were drunk, which means you’re lying to me now.” He took another step back, making sure Iruka took his mittens, and settled back onto his hips. “But if you want me to back off, all right. If you’d rather still hate me, I won’t bother you again.”
Iruka’s eyes fell again and he muttered to the floor. “I don’t hate you. It’s . . . I just . . .”
“You just don’t want to be like me.” He took the pot of cocoa again and filled a thermos, turning to give it to Iruka. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Sensei. At the very least I hope this won’t worsen our relationship?”
Iruka still wasn’t looking at him, but took the thermos with a little sigh. “I just don’t know how to be around you. Goodbye, Kakashi.”
-o-o-o-o-o-
Story 4 - Inevitable Conclusion
Part 3 - Christmas Tree
-o-o-o-o-o-
“Iruka-sensei!”
Iruka looked up slowly at the voice calling his name and blinked. “Yes?”
Kurenai crossed her arms, leaning one hip against the teacher’s desk. “I’m trying to organize the holiday party this year, where’s your head?”
Iruka blinked again. Well, he had been thinking, though he hadn’t realized he’d gone so far into his own little world. He’d been pouring over his conversation with Kakashi all day, but now he just shook his head to try and clear the thoughts. “You’re planning the party?”
For a moment the dark haired woman hesitated, wanting to press, but the moment passed she just nodded sadly. “Yes, since Hayate . . . well I’m not alone, Anko and Asuma are both helping, too.”
“Ah, so I should eat beforehand because there’ll be nothing but beer and sake.”
The woman smiled, winking at him. “This is why I wanted to talk to you. Now I know to make sure there’s chips and pretzels and stuff!”
“Meat,” the teacher muttered. “Make sure there’s some meat and bread.”
“Will do, sweetie. So you’ll be there, of course, and Genma, Kotetsu, Kakashi.” The woman paused, not missing the little frown that crossed Iruka’s face. She stood straighter, crossing her arms and leaning over the teacher. “What’s going on?”
“What? Nothing!” After a moment of Kurenai staring at him with one eyebrow arched, Iruka sighed. “It’s nothing. Kakashi and I sort of had a fight.”
“Ugh, another one? I hope it wasn’t as bad as when he put his team up for the chunin exam.” Iruka looked away at that and Kurenai leaned forward to put a hand on his shoulder. “You just need to leave him alone, ‘Ruka. Accept that he’s a lost cause and just avoid him.”
“It’s fine Kurenai, thank you. It was nothing.” Certainly not something Iruka wanted help with. After another moment, Kurenai nodded and turned to leave. “Let me know when you have the date,” Iruka called after her, getting a nod by way of reply.
With his guest leaving, Iruka’s mind lingered on the party for a few moments, but gradually drifted back to Kakashi. He didn’t really feel right lying to his friends, but ‘fight’ was probably the most accurate term for what they’d had the day before. Kakashi honestly seemed to be trying, but no matter how much he thought about it, Iruka just couldn’t return the feeling. He thought about just trying to be with him and suddenly all he could think of was the past. He knew how Kakashi worked, how he lived. In that world, Kakashi came first and he used any means he deemed acceptable to get what he wanted. Iruka had tried to enter that world, to change it, open it up a little. He’d failed, more than once, and he didn’t like the thought of trying again.
With a sigh, Iruka stood. He couldn’t let this change their relationship, he was determined to do that at least. He wasn’t friends with Kakashi, but he didn’t want to risk getting on his bad side either. He would just ignore it, pretend it never happened, so long as Kakashi was willing to do the same thing. Decision made, the teacher finished up his work and quietly left the academy for some chores around town.
Iruka was a little surprised an hour later to see none other than Kakashi walking down the street towards him. The teacher could see Raidou and Anko glaring at the man as he walked past; clearly Kurenai had already talked to them. Kakashi just ignored the looks, coming almost right up to the teacher. “Yo,” he greeted, stopping in front of Iruka and forcing him to stop as well.
Iruka stayed where he was, not backing away from the other. “Good afternoon, Kakashi-sensei.” They were going back to normal. At least Iruka hoped the other would take the hint.
The masked man nodded and took a step back. “I know you’re probably busy, but I was hoping I might get your help with something.”
For a moment Iruka kept quiet, turning this over in his mind. He wasn’t forcing anything, he didn’t even seem interested, really. But nothing had seemed out of place the day before, either . . .
Kakashi was watching Iruka closely, waiting for his response. It was obvious the brunette just wanted to leave, but it was equally obvious he was tempted. Kakashi hadn’t put nearly as much thought into it this time, but he was still determined to get Iruka to accept him.
It seemed like forever before Iruka met his eyes again. “What do you need help with?”
“I’m trying to decorate my tree, but It’s not really coming out right. You seem the type that would be good at that sort of thing. If you have the time, of course.”
Iruka looked away again, silent for another minute before he sighed. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can help you right now.”
Kakashi smothered his own sigh, just shrugging instead and slouching away down the street. “Maybe another time.”
Iruka was certain he’d made the right decision and as he went down the street towards his friends, their expressions only encouraged him. The sooner he got out of the copy ninja’s life, the better. Raidou smiled as Iruka reached them and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Heard you and him had another fight. That guy just doesn’t know when to quit.”
Anko was on his other side in a blink. “Seriously. That freak just needs to leave you and everyone else alone. Doesn’t he realize that trouble follows him around like his dogs?”
“If you get involved with him, bad thing will happen to you, everyone knows that.”
At this, Iruka blinked. He’d heard this before, dozens of times in passing conversation, only a couple with the words actually directed at him. Now he recalled the muttered warnings and childish rumors in snatches and he frowned at Raidou. “Say that again?”
“What, it’s true. Even when he was a kid, Kakashi was a weird one.”
Anko just nodded. “Yeah. The only people that can really stand him for long are Gai and Ibiki and, well, that says a whole bunch right there, doesn’t it?”
Iruka carefully disentangled from his friends, taking a step away as a thought occurred to him. “Hey guys, I’ve got some stuff to do, all right?”
Raidou frowned, but let the man go, even grabbing Anko’s shoulder when she made to follow him. “Don’t do something foolish, Iruka. You gonna be okay?”
The teacher smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry, I just have plans already, okay? I’ll see you guys later.”
Iruka wasn’t positive he knew where he was going, but after a few minutes he arrived at the door he was looking for. A gentle knock and barely a pause and the door opened quietly, Kakashi looking out at the teacher. He looked a bit confused, but didn’t protest as Iruka stepped into the apartment uninvited. Inside, he turned on Kakashi, looking his square in the eye. “I decided to help you. I don’t give up on people - anyone - and I realized I’m basing my opinions on the past and on what other people think. You aren’t good at any of this, you treat it like a math problem, but your only real practice is with people almost as unsociable as you are, so you aren’t really to blame. I’m here to give you a chance.”
Once the teacher had finished his speech, Kakashi blinked twice and shut the door. “I think that was a compliment. Thanks.” A little unsure of the sudden change in the other’s attitude, he led the way through to the living area. He gestured at the tree as he passed through to the kitchen to get his guest a drink. “I got it this morning, but like I said, I’m not doing it right.”
Everything Iruka had decided in the last twenty minutes - that Kakashi wasn’t as bad as everyone said, that the only reason he failed so miserably at most attempts at being social was a sad lack of practice - was suddenly and forcefully confirmed by the man’s Christmas tree. It was a normal enough tree, set in a nice stand against one wall, blocking a small bookcase. The problem was the decoration: the lights seemed to have been newly purchased, but they were bunched oddly and draping straight down from the tip to the bottom. There were store bought ornaments in boxes and bags surrounding the tree, but it looked as though they’d been discarded and on the tree itself were small glinting bits of metal. Stepping closer, Iruka could see they were shuriken, and several kunai hung from their round ends. The teacher just stared, mouth agape, almost unable to comprehend it.
“Lost cause?” Kakashi asked, right behind Iruka. The nearness made the teacher jump, but he shook his head.
“It’s . . . certainly an interesting take on decorations. Let’s, uh, let’s start from scratch. Take everything off and we’ll start over.”
Kakashi nodded and went to work. Pushing a mug of cocoa into Iruka’s hand, he stepped up to the tree and began taking off the little deadly implements with the casual care of someone who was used to death. “I bought these after I talked to you, thought I could fix it myself.” Kakashi toed the bags of ornaments. “So far I can’t figure out how to get them to stay, though.”
Iruka bent to examine the boxes more closely. They were filled with fairly traditional glass ball ornaments in various colors. Some icicles and a few glass stars. “Where are your,” Iruka started but suddenly stopped, realizing what the more likely question was. “Did you buy ornament hooks?” The blank look he received was answer enough and Iruka smiled a little. “It’s all right. Do you have some paper clips? We’ll just make them.”
Kakashi finished with the weapons and quickly pulled off the lights. “I knew you were the right one to ask, ulterior motives aside.” The masked man looked up carefully, hoping the comment wouldn’t scare his guest away again. Iruka didn’t seem to react to it, moving to the opposite side of the tree. “I’m glad you decided to help me, Iruka, but if you don’t want to be here-“
“Hand me the lights,” Iruka commanded and when Kakashi did as he was told he began winding one end around the top. The two quickly fell into the rhythm of passing the cord back and forth, slowly encircling the tree. After a minute of silence, Iruka sighed. “So, tell me why you got a tree.”
Kakashi leaned to one side, looking at the teacher. “I’d rather not.”
Iruka met his eyes and frowned a little. “I thought you said last night you weren’t going to force anything. This was purely to get me over here again?”
“I’m trying, Iruka, I am. It’s obvious you don’t hate me and you seem to like the idea of being friends on the surface. You only shy away from it when you stop and think about it. You did tell me-“
“That was a long time ago, Kakashi. I don’t even remember it, you could just be making it up. I wouldn’t put it past you, honestly.”
Kakashi sighed, finishing the lights and plugging them in, lighting the tree in a rainbow. “I’m not lying to you about anything, I’m not Mizuki.” Kakashi’s eyes snapped back up to catch Iruka’s reaction to the slip. The teacher tried to hide his frown, ducking behind the tree, but not fast enough to hide it from Kakashi. The copy nin frowned harder, quickly steering the conversation away, even if the topic just shifted the discomfort. “You told me you wouldn’t mind being like me. You said it was because I reminded you of Obito.” He could just make out Iruka through the tree branches and he saw the nod of agreement, no matter how reluctant it seemed to be. It was at least a step in the right direction. “You know, Naruto reminds me a lot of you. The you from fifteen years ago, when I was a jerk and you played jokes all the time.”
“You’re still a jerk.” Iruka sighed again, walking over to start on the ornaments. “Is that why you pick on him so much?” He asked half-heartedly. This wasn’t going as well as he’d hoped. He still wasn’t comfortable with Kakashi and it was hard just being in the same room as him. Of course, the logical voice in his head pointed out, it would take more than one night and two strained conversations to change anything.
Kakashi deliberately stayed where he was, trying to not blow his chance by crowding the teacher. “I see the same potential in Naruto that is in some of the greatest ninja. I pick on him to try and bring it out.” He paused a moment, catching Iruka’s eyes. “Didn’t you do the same while he was still with you?”
“I did not pick on him.” Iruka raked a hand through his hair. This didn’t seem like it was working, but at least it was warm. Still determined to give the other a proper chance, Iruka shrugged out of his vest, pulling at his collar a little to get more comfortable.
Kakashi was still watching the teacher, honestly trying to make the man comfortable, trying to make this work. But when Iruka shifted and tugged at his shirt, a little glint of silver caught the masked man’s attention. “What’s that?”
Iruka looked up, a little startled. After a moment he seemed to figure out what Kakashi was talking about and one hand went to his throat. In the same instant his face darkened considerably. “It’s not something you’d understand.”
Kakashi abandoned his tree, stalking towards the other. He pulled down the man’s collar, looking at the simple chain necklace he was wearing. Iruka did nothing to avoid the scrutiny, staring stubbornly into Kakashi’s face. The masked man looked up, meeting his eyes with a frown. “What is this?”
“It’s something very important to me,” he growled out. “The last thing I ever got from Santa.”
Kakashi took a step back, releasing the other with raised eyebrows. “From Santa?” he asked, obvious disbelief in his voice.
Iruka’s fingers curled around the necklace, glaring back at Kakashi. “Yes,” he snapped, officially giving up playing nice. “My first Christmas alone was the last time I ever got a Santa gift.”
“After you snuck into my house,” Kakashi accused.
Iruka didn’t bother responding to that. “It was the last time someone tried to bring that out in me. The last gift I ever got that was to a child instead of a friend or teacher.”
“And you still attribute it to ‘Santa’?”
“You know what I think about that, Kakashi, of course I call it Santa!”
“It was from me!”
“I know that!” Both men fell into silence, the anger dissipating gradually. Iruka tore his eyes away, choosing to look at the tree again as he began speaking slowly. “Of course I knew it was from you. And I knew it can’t have been your idea. I wear this every day because it’s the only thing I have that proves ninja like you are still human. And one of the last things Obito ever gave anybody.”
For another moment Kakashi was silent before going back to his tree himself. “It was his idea. Rin actually picked it out. I almost took it back after I saw the stunt you pulled, but I didn’t.” He was toying with the light strand, straightening invisible kinks and shifting it around for no other reason that an excuse to keep his back to the teacher. “So here’s the part where I apologize again, right? The big tearful confession where I tell you I’m in love with you and hate ever doing any of that stuff to you, right?”
“I need to leave now.”
“It’s true! I regret everything, and I am in love with you. Well, all right, maybe love is a little too ‘happy ending’, but I like you at the very least. I have since that party, that’s why I’m trying so hard to fix all this!” Behind him, Kakashi could hear the door of his apartment close and he stopped talking. He shut his eyes with a sigh and took a minute to calm his rattled nerves. Then very slowly he opened his mouth again. “I thought you were leaving.”
The silver haired man turned, looking at Iruka where the teacher stood beside the door. “If I leave now, your tree will never get done. I’ll bet you don’t even have a star, do you?” He was tense, unease still obvious, even across the room, but he slowly walked forward until he was right beside the copy nin again.
“Lost cause,” Kakashi muttered softly.
Iruka nodded. “But I don’t give up on people. I don’t like you, Hatake.” The teacher reached up, tugging the other man’s mask down and leaning in for the briefest kiss. “That doesn’t necessarily affect whether or not I love you.” He gave another smile, the same sort of transcendent smile that made Kakashi melt, and the teacher leaned in again, kissing stunned lips in the glow of the Christmas tree.