It's true, I used to think we were SO WEIRD because my family and I have screaming matches. We tend to get along better than most families, because we're really open and honest and there's a lot of trust and not too much judgment and we like, hang out and stuff, but when we get in a fight, it's crazy. I think it was Jess I was talking about this with...maybe it was someone else. But my family is a family of yellers. As a result, that's how I vent. I admit that I am mad, talk about it, and get loud. And to some people, that's just too weird. People make jokes about loud angry Sarah, but I am no more angry than anyone else, I'm just vocal. So yes, I too think it's great. It's like, phew, we're not crazy, we're just honest.
I hear ya on the part about moms having trouble defining themselves once the mothering period is over. I've come to find that I am my mother's hobby...she has nothing else beyond being a mom. She hasn't worked in ages, she doesn't have friends and she's not willing to start anything new now. She has tv, and she has me and my big brother. There's nothing else in her life.
And yeah, I feel bad for her and I can be understanding -- to a point. My mom isn't willing to work on any of this. She's not going to try to help herself. The effort is instead going toward keeping her children in her nest, no matter what.
So what then? Yelling then. Oh yes, I belong to a family of yellers too (ask any of my old roommates about my home phone calls if you don't believe me).
Alright. So I guess that's what we call coping? Is this how we make dysfunctional functional? I see how it works and I can try to work with it...but man, this can't be healthy.
Addendum to previousbuttercup4481May 27 2006, 22:43:53 UTC
Oh, and I want to add something I thought of while I was daydreaming today. The way our moms are -- this should be a lesson to us. Never let any one person become the center of your universe. Heaven forbid you should lose that person, you'll be a mess. I see some people naively fall in love and soon everything revolves around the other person...no wonder people are left so destroyed after breakups.
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So yes, I too think it's great. It's like, phew, we're not crazy, we're just honest.
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And yeah, I feel bad for her and I can be understanding -- to a point. My mom isn't willing to work on any of this. She's not going to try to help herself. The effort is instead going toward keeping her children in her nest, no matter what.
So what then? Yelling then. Oh yes, I belong to a family of yellers too (ask any of my old roommates about my home phone calls if you don't believe me).
Alright. So I guess that's what we call coping? Is this how we make dysfunctional functional? I see how it works and I can try to work with it...but man, this can't be healthy.
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