Ahoy...
Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
’cause it’s always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles
’cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
’cause I can’t take anymore of this,
I want to come apart,
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart
’cause it’s always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide
’cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don’t know how I feel
But I know I’ll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
’cause it’s always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
-=-
Song: "Epiphany" - Staind
Mother's first name: Epifania
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
This woman is the greatest influence in my life yet her negative aura can be such a burden sometimes. You know how we all have a little bit of our parents in us? Well, I have a lot of my mom in me... both positively and negatively. Although, I may have never been the exemplary daughter she always wants me to be, but I've respected her as much as I could possibly, in comparison to other children out there in America. Even at 25, anything and nothing are ever good enough- never a happy medium. One day, when I have my own children, I will treat them w/the respect they deserve and they will reciprocate this respect b/c I will listen instead of ignore. A one-track mind won't get you far in life. I've learned this time and time again but this time, I will supercede just the learning portion but will ultimately take action of not making the same mistake as her as a mother. Who ever said that ignorance was bliss missed the boat by one too many paddles. It stands corrected w/my own flesh and blood as the main example. As God is my witness, I will not be her.
I thank a couple certain someones who put things into perspective- as always. They were angels sent from above to keep me grounded. I love you both... may not show all the time but it's deep w/in my heart. I have to dig deeper, I know.
I miss my dad. Too much I can't wait til he comes this Friday.
-=-
Here, I go back to studying w/13 hrs left to take my final for Fundamentals of Nursing. Either I know this material or I don't. It's do or die. Wish me luck and pray that I don't overanalyze these damned multiple choice questions to itty bitty pieces. My concentration is somewhere amidst the sea of distractions right now. Someone save me before I drown...