The guilty one is not he who commits the sin...
Title: "The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but the one who causes the darkness" *
Characters: Adam Monroe, Hiro Nakamura
Verse: Any (Though intended for After Shanti)
Word Count: 857
Disclaimer: Written by me, characters owned by their creators, not for profit, you get the picture.
It’s yet another quiet night, no crickets to stir the silence, only the wind caressing the dead branches. Adam’s not quite sure why he’s outside when the temperature in the negatives of Fahrenheit - he’s not even dressed properly - but something had drawn him outside.
He feels like he’s waiting for something, a bus that’s late on schedule, or a letter from the postman, holding deeply concerning news. But it’s not either of those, so the immortal turns away from the stars to head back to his house.
“You do feel it.”
Adam knows he’s alone, and refuses to turn around.
“The guilt. I know you do, Kensei.”
He can’t argue back to that voice. It’s hardly the first time he’s had a hallucination of Hiro, but dear God, if he had to count the number of times he’s had to look that boy in the face when he wasn’t even there…
This time is different though. It’s the first since his death that the other has appeared. He looks pristine enough to be an angel, nothing at all like Adam left him, and through the moon’s insistence, the pale light only adds to the effect.
“Why did you do it? Was it to help the world, or was it something else?” Hiro continues in Japanese. There’s no furrow of his brow in confusion. He’s as emotionless as he was unconscious in the floor of Primatech. Adam doesn’t answer, doesn’t need to give in to the illusion. That only makes it more real.
“Was it just because of me?”
But his will can only take so many questions. “And isn’t that just like you,” Adam snaps in English, determined to have no connection with the figment, and turning around full force to look Hiro in the eye, “to think everything I do is because of you.”
There’s no immediate response aside from a hurt look in his dark eyes, only to press on, “Am I wrong?”
No, he’s not. But he doesn’t say the words aloud, banishing them completely from his mind. “Get out of my head. I’ve killed you, now do us both a favor and leave me.”
The silence almost feels as if Figment-Hiro is honestly having thought. “Who are you acting for?”
The question catches him off-guard. “What?”
He then begins to speak slowly, still in goddamn Japanese, “There’s no one else here, Kensei. Why aren’t you being honest?”
“Why do I owe you the truth?” Adam hisses each word with emphasis.
“You owe it to yourself,” Hiro says, tiredness evident in his tone.
“I did it,” Adam returns, venom spilling from every word, even though he knows how futile it is to get angry at a voice, a result of an overbearing conscious. Funny how Figment-Hiro hadn’t reared his head when he pushed Kaito from the building, or when he was manipulating Peter to open the vault door. “To show you how wrong you were. To show you people can’t change for the better,” as it all boils down to that moment, “only the worse.” That’s all people do. They degenerate, from the moment they discover they can sink lower.
“That’s not the only reason.”
Hiro just can’t quit. That would clearly be too simple. “I shouldn’t have taken any sort of heed of you since day one. I should have just told you to find yourself a nice cliff to jump off of.” If only he’d been left in peace… He would have died a mortal man, content with his self as he was.
“What else?”
There’s no response from Adam, not even the shuttering sound of breath in cold air.
“Kensei.” The tone bares no emotion. This isn’t the Hiro he knew, and yet, he’ll still answer to it.
There’s a sudden change within him, anger nearly dissipating into calm annoyance. “I wanted,” he says simply, explanatory even, “the world to pay it’s price. For every twist and turn destiny has thrown at me, for every sword and dagger that has been used against me.” At this point, he’s staring pointedly at Hiro, but the other doesn’t make any movements, not even a twitch. “For every time I fooled myself into thinking I could love someone when it was all just a lie."
He swallows, and it feels like he’s just gulped down a stone. “Do you think I wanted it to come to this?”
Figment-Hiro doesn’t answer. Because Adam doesn’t know what Hiro would say in this instance. His mind can only imagine so much.
If it was possible, Hiro’s expression dropped even further, with more than a touch of disappointment added into the mix. That look he’s seen before, right after he’d-
“I’m sorry, Kensei.”
There’s silence, and the sheer gravity pushing down on Adam makes him want to drop to the ground, and just stay there. Instead, Adam fights it.
He punches Figment-Hiro square in the nose, but it never connects, fist sliding through the air. Because then, the image of Hiro is gone, and he’s once again left alone, outside.
Several minutes pass, until allows his legs to give, and he falls to the ground without grace.
-------
* Quote by Victor Hugo
Characters: Adam Monroe, Hiro Nakamura
Verse: Any (Though intended for After Shanti)
Word Count: 857
Disclaimer: Written by me, characters owned by their creators, not for profit, you get the picture.
It’s yet another quiet night, no crickets to stir the silence, only the wind caressing the dead branches. Adam’s not quite sure why he’s outside when the temperature in the negatives of Fahrenheit - he’s not even dressed properly - but something had drawn him outside.
He feels like he’s waiting for something, a bus that’s late on schedule, or a letter from the postman, holding deeply concerning news. But it’s not either of those, so the immortal turns away from the stars to head back to his house.
“You do feel it.”
Adam knows he’s alone, and refuses to turn around.
“The guilt. I know you do, Kensei.”
He can’t argue back to that voice. It’s hardly the first time he’s had a hallucination of Hiro, but dear God, if he had to count the number of times he’s had to look that boy in the face when he wasn’t even there…
This time is different though. It’s the first since his death that the other has appeared. He looks pristine enough to be an angel, nothing at all like Adam left him, and through the moon’s insistence, the pale light only adds to the effect.
“Why did you do it? Was it to help the world, or was it something else?” Hiro continues in Japanese. There’s no furrow of his brow in confusion. He’s as emotionless as he was unconscious in the floor of Primatech. Adam doesn’t answer, doesn’t need to give in to the illusion. That only makes it more real.
“Was it just because of me?”
But his will can only take so many questions. “And isn’t that just like you,” Adam snaps in English, determined to have no connection with the figment, and turning around full force to look Hiro in the eye, “to think everything I do is because of you.”
There’s no immediate response aside from a hurt look in his dark eyes, only to press on, “Am I wrong?”
No, he’s not. But he doesn’t say the words aloud, banishing them completely from his mind. “Get out of my head. I’ve killed you, now do us both a favor and leave me.”
The silence almost feels as if Figment-Hiro is honestly having thought. “Who are you acting for?”
The question catches him off-guard. “What?”
He then begins to speak slowly, still in goddamn Japanese, “There’s no one else here, Kensei. Why aren’t you being honest?”
“Why do I owe you the truth?” Adam hisses each word with emphasis.
“You owe it to yourself,” Hiro says, tiredness evident in his tone.
“I did it,” Adam returns, venom spilling from every word, even though he knows how futile it is to get angry at a voice, a result of an overbearing conscious. Funny how Figment-Hiro hadn’t reared his head when he pushed Kaito from the building, or when he was manipulating Peter to open the vault door. “To show you how wrong you were. To show you people can’t change for the better,” as it all boils down to that moment, “only the worse.” That’s all people do. They degenerate, from the moment they discover they can sink lower.
“That’s not the only reason.”
Hiro just can’t quit. That would clearly be too simple. “I shouldn’t have taken any sort of heed of you since day one. I should have just told you to find yourself a nice cliff to jump off of.” If only he’d been left in peace… He would have died a mortal man, content with his self as he was.
“What else?”
There’s no response from Adam, not even the shuttering sound of breath in cold air.
“Kensei.” The tone bares no emotion. This isn’t the Hiro he knew, and yet, he’ll still answer to it.
There’s a sudden change within him, anger nearly dissipating into calm annoyance. “I wanted,” he says simply, explanatory even, “the world to pay it’s price. For every twist and turn destiny has thrown at me, for every sword and dagger that has been used against me.” At this point, he’s staring pointedly at Hiro, but the other doesn’t make any movements, not even a twitch. “For every time I fooled myself into thinking I could love someone when it was all just a lie."
He swallows, and it feels like he’s just gulped down a stone. “Do you think I wanted it to come to this?”
Figment-Hiro doesn’t answer. Because Adam doesn’t know what Hiro would say in this instance. His mind can only imagine so much.
If it was possible, Hiro’s expression dropped even further, with more than a touch of disappointment added into the mix. That look he’s seen before, right after he’d-
“I’m sorry, Kensei.”
There’s silence, and the sheer gravity pushing down on Adam makes him want to drop to the ground, and just stay there. Instead, Adam fights it.
He punches Figment-Hiro square in the nose, but it never connects, fist sliding through the air. Because then, the image of Hiro is gone, and he’s once again left alone, outside.
Several minutes pass, until allows his legs to give, and he falls to the ground without grace.
-------
* Quote by Victor Hugo