the company of wolves

[fourforyou]

SO THIS IS MY FANFICTION ASSIGNMENT THING. I post it here because it'd be really helpful if you guys editted for me because I'm running on no sleep and too much coffee at the moment (and will continue doing so until Wednesday night) so I'm not catching many errors -- even the no-shit ones. Yes. I am using you all.

Asuming you read this, if it makes

Comments

[pandastacia]

Small things?
- The first father that is italicized should be capitalized, I believe?
-"The silly man comes continuously bearing gifts for father when I am the one he wishes to marry!" "continuously comes" sounds better to me, but then again, I'm thinking about the coming part versus the bearing gifts part?
- There was an occasional change of tense (mostly in the first paragraph), though maybe that was intentional.

[pandastacia]

... i'm now interested in reading this short story. DAMN COLLEGE & LACK OF TIME. D:

[fourforyou]

ah, right. thanks! :)

[fourforyou]

sigh. i know what you mean. but i have a word limit. a very, very LOW word limit. and at the moment, i sort of have TWICE the limit written. :(

i'm just praying my TA is a moron and won't notice.

and i don't really want her to be scared-scared. it's meant to sort of parallel the original story (if you remember how it ended). ;)

[xrosse467]

this def sounds different from your original writing, but it's still good. :)
i do prefer your original writing, but since this is an assignment I daresay that you must have had to make it sound professional, or maybe it is because you had to write it to sound like the narrarator, Jane? I have not read this book, would you recommend it?
Maybe because it's so different from your regular writing that makes me feel this way, but something feels a little off. Like there isn't ENOUGH. But maybe it's because of your word limit, you couldnt jam enough in.
Ah, well.
It's still good :)