I feel like even my (2?) straight friends know what that was like... hiding yourself from everyone, not knowing if you'll ever belong, if you'll ever fit in, petrified of breaking the hearts of your friends, your family, your lover if you had one
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i don't know what exactly it is that you're going through, but i do know that you've been dealing with something for a while now. i just want you to know that if you EVER need anything from me, to just talk, or have someone listen to you rant, or a hug, i will be right here.
you are one of the most beautiful and amazing people i have met in my entire life. you're also one of the strongest people i have ever met. i will never believe any differently. people like you don't come around very often.
whatever you are going through... you have so many people who love and respect you and will stand by you no matter what. if you need help, or someone to lean on, someone will be there for you.
just remember... i will ALWAYS be one of those people.
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