FIC: People Do It All the Time (4b/4)
The first week is just a total blur. They bring the baby first to Sloan’s place, where they all stand around admiring his cuteness while he sleeps and freaking out about his cries when he’s awake. Sloan is still exhausted from everything, and Vince, well, he wants to help, but the best he can do is just hold the baby and make shushing noises, so it’s Eric who really takes charge. He warms bottles and changes diapers and makes sure he’s swaddled just right, keeps a chart of feedings and changings, and gets them set into a reasonably reliable schedule. Watching him, Vince learns, and starts to wonder where Eric learned. Little E is happiest when he’s being walked around the room, so they take turns pacing the floor until Vince’s arms are sore from carrying him and his knees ache from trying to walk quietly while Sloan is sleeping.
At night they collapse into the guest bedroom, with the door cracked open in case the baby cries, and Vince sleeps desperately and wakes desperately, instantly alert in case Little E needs him, instantly asleep the second he’s sure that he doesn’t. They decided, the three of them - well, Vince didn’t really know enough to contribute, but it was unanimous - to start Little E on formula right away, because although they know all the benefits of breast milk, the disadvantage was that the guys wouldn’t get to feed him very often, and they all agreed that Little E would need to stay at their house at least half time.
At the end of the first week, Vince isn’t sure how they’re ever going to take him home. Or how they’re ever going to leave him at Sloan’s. He can see that they need to - Sloan’s mother is going to stay with her for a while, and Vince knows they should give them some quality time - but he’s worried Eric will come apart if he’s gone from Little E for too long. Twice that week, he finds Eric asleep on the floor by Little E’s crib, “just in case he needs something.”
But this was what they agreed to. A week together, then a few days for Sloan to adjust to having him herself at nights, followed by some time for Vince and Eric to have him full-time, as well. So on Thursday, when Sloan’s mother is busy with Eric in the kitchen, Vince sits by Sloan on the couch and says, “Could you do me a favor? Would you call tonight?”
“Vince, we’ll be fine.”
“I know,” he says, and he does, because Sloan’s already a competent - if exhausted - mother, and with her mother there, things will probably go better. “But - for E’s sake. I mean, if you could just, maybe, make something up to call about.” Vince smiles. “He’s gonna go crazy.”
“Of course,” Sloan says.
Vince finally manages to peel Eric away from giving Sloan’s mother a detailed rundown of the code he created on the tally sheets for every possible kind of liquid going in or out of their baby, and with quick kisses to his fuzzy little head, they take their leave. Though Vince’s initial plan was for them to just go straight home and to sleep, he can tell Eric’s a little wired, so he suggests dinner out instead. They end up at a pizza place they both like, in a booth in the back. Eric turns down the offered beer, and Vince has to agree. He’s pretty sure a single bottle would put him under.
“I don’t remember if I told her about the bottle warmer,” Eric says while they’re waiting on dinner.
“E, I’m pretty sure Marian’s gonna figure it out.”
“It’s just if you don’t put it right at -”
“Seriously,” Vince says, reaching across the table. He takes Eric’s hands into his. “It’s going to be fine. She managed to raise Sloan.”
Eric nods, and then laughs. “I know. I know. I just - fuck. It’s hard.”
“Yeah.”
“He’s so small.”
“He’s in very good hands,” Vince says. “And when it’s our turn, Sloan’s gonna be just as freaked out as you are.”
“There’s some comfort,” he says, but he settles back a little. “All right. Not gonna think about it.”
He does a decent job of pretending he’s not thinking about Sloan and the baby every second, and Sloan’s phone call - ostensibly to ask where Eric put a specific blanket that Little E seems to like - puts him a little closer to at ease, but Vince doesn’t really believe him until they’re in bed, when he finally manages to get Eric’s attention all to himself.
“As soon as he can walk,” Eric says, when Vince is curled up with him, dozing, “we’re gonna have to get in the habit of locking our door.”
Vince smiles. “I’ve lost your undivided attention for the next eighteen years, haven’t I?”
Eric kisses his neck. “Serves you right for having sex with a girl.”
“I’ll never do it again.”
+++
When the baby is a month old, they have the shower. It’s one of Little E’s first outings, beyond a few required doctor’s check-ups and a visit to Sloan’s office. They’re all nervous about taking him out in public, in part because there’s a huge bounty on the first pictures of them together, but it actually goes very smoothly. Little E screams for about thirty seconds after they put him in the car seat, but Eric sits in the back with him and coos, and Vince makes funny faces from the front seat, and he’s calm by the time Turtle rolls them out of the gate. Ten minutes after that, he’s asleep, and Vince catches Eric dozing off next to him. It’s been a long, sleepless month.
Shower planning took a backseat to caring for the baby in the last month, so Vince isn’t even exactly sure what the place will look like. Bryce called a couple of times to go over details, and Vince just said OK and made sure it all went on his credit card. “Jesus, we probably own the hotel by now,” Eric says as they get out in the garage, and then he yawns.
“It’s fine,” Vince says, his voice low. His every word and move is attuned to the baby, now, to soothing him, to keeping him asleep, to making him happy. He talks slower and more quietly, these days, touches Eric instead of calling his name, spends a lot of time asking for things with just his eyes. Eric does it, too, and it’s a nice little dance they do. It makes Vince feel like a real parent.
They get Little E snugged into his stroller, another first, and then take the elevator up a floor to the ballroom. When it stops, Eric lets Turtle get out, then stops Vince before he can leave. “This was a really nice thing for you to do,” he says.
“Thanks,” Vince says. He squeezes Eric’s shoulder, ready to move, but Eric keeps his arm across Vince’s path. Vince looks at him, sees some emotion in Eric’s eyes that he can’t quite figure out. “She’s family now,” Vince says. “You know?”
Eric smiles. “Yeah,” he says. “Family means a lot, right?”
“Everything,” Vince says, and he bends to kiss Eric. That, finally, convinces Eric it’s OK to go, so they make their way toward the ballroom. They have a small hallway to go down, first, and he sees Johnny standing at the far end next to a woman, and he waves. He’s about to call out, ask where his shower gift is, when the woman turns, and he realizes that it’s his mother.
“Oh my god.”
He’s not sure whether he says it or whether she does. Johnny’s standing right by her - maybe it was him. Maybe it was Eric. He turns to look at him, and finds that Eric doesn’t look surprised at all. Before he can process that, though, his mother is walking toward him, and he straightens up and says, “Ma?”
“Vincent,” she says, and then she’s hugging him, her face against his chest, her hair as dark as always, her shoulders strong when he hugs back. “Baby.”
“What - what’s going on?” he asks. He feels - well, nothing, and too much. Sad. Angry. Excited. Relieved. Confused. They haven’t spoken in more than a year. “What are you doing here?”
She sighs and pulls back. She isn’t looking at him, but to the side, toward the stroller. “I wanted to meet my grandson,” she says.
“He’d like to meet you, too,” Eric says, his voice soft and closer than Vince expected. “I’m glad you came, Rita.”
She nods. Her eyes are still on the stroller. “God, he looks just like you,” she whispers, and then bends to get a good look. “Oh, the hair. The chin. He could be you, Vincent.” She has tears in her eyes when she looks up. “He’s perfect.”
“Uh, yeah, we think so,” Vince says.
She looks from him, to Eric, then back. “Can I hold him?”
“Of course,” Eric says, even though Vince isn’t so sure. He turns to face Eric as his mother picks up Little E. Eric looks up at him, just briefly, and there’s clearly apology in his expression. Vince frowns and turns back to see his mother cradling his son. It’s a very confident hold, the hands of mother - a grandmother - and he listens to her voice slip into the same comforting register that he’s been learning.
“Hello there,” she says. Little E is blinking and doing his usual not-staring staring routine. “My, you’re lovely. Yes. Yes, you are. Sweet baby Eric,” she says. She glances up. “I held you a couple times at this age, too, Eric.”
Eric smirks. Vince’s mother turns back to the baby. “Yes, he had all kinds of hair. Yes, he did, all kinds of it. Bright blonde. Like a doll. Not like your - “ and she looks up at Vince, “your father,” she says, and then, after a pause, “your other father. He had hair just like yours. Dark and stuck out everywhere. Always a mess.”
“Ma,” Vince says, quietly.
When she looks up again, the tears have spilled over. “Oh, baby,” she says. “I’m so sorry.”
He hasn’t talked to his mother in a year, and it suddenly feels like yesterday that everything went wrong, that he was standing in her kitchen staring at her back, wishing she could just understand. He gave up on this moment a long time ago. He doesn’t know what to do, and so he does nothing, just stands there, wishes someone would feed him a line.
Eric takes a step forward. “I can - I should take him inside,” he says. “You two can -”
“No,” Vince’s mother says, and in one careful, easy motion, she sweeps Little E up onto her shoulder, cradling his head and his little behind, rocking almost unconsciously. The baby doesn’t make a sound. “Eric. Sweetheart, I said some terrible things to you. I - I’m so sorry.” Vince watches Eric nod. He wonders what she said, when they even talked. “Your mother would be so proud of you,” she whispers, and Vince puts his hand on Eric’s back. They’ve just been down that road - he’s barely done mourning his mother. “She loved you - oh, I won’t say she loved you more than I love my boys, but she was better at it. I - I fuck things up. I always have.” She’s looking at Vince, now. “I was angry,” she says. “I was angry, and confused, and hurt, and I thought - oh, I don’t know what I thought. I didn’t think much, I guess. But I want - I can’t have my baby having a baby and not be here, Vincent.” Her chin trembles, and she looks back down at Little E. “Please let me be here.”
Vince swallows. “Of course, Ma,” he says. His hand stays on Eric’s back. “Of course. He should know his grandma.”
“Good,” she says. “Well, OK, now, Eric, you can have him - I should go freshen up a little before I go inside, I guess. It’s pretty fancy for old Grandma in there.”
Eric takes the baby carefully, one hand always on his head. He even takes a hug from Vince’s mom, and then Vince gets another, a long, almost painful, hug before she pulls back and asks Johnny to show her where the ladies’ room is.
Once she’s down the hall, and Little E is back in his stroller, Vince stops Eric with a hand on his shoulder. “You did that.”
Eric shrugs. “Family,” he says. “Don’t be mad, all right?”
Vince pauses, then nods. “Yeah.” He puts his arms around Eric’s shoulders as they walk. Sloan meets them at the entrance, and from the careful smile on her face, Vince knows she probably saw the whole scene in the hallway. She bends and picks up Little E, kisses the side of his head, and Vince suddenly has the urge to do the same, so he does, then kisses her cheek. She cups his face briefly, then leans around him to touch Eric’s shoulder. Eric takes Vince’s hand. “You guys ready to show off our little guy?” she asks.
“I’m ready to show off my family,” he says, and that’s how they enter the ballroom, a proud mother, two proud dads, and their adorable, barely awake son.
Comments are enabled here, but I won't be able to respond for a long time and won't be getting e-mail updates. I do, however, thank anyone who made it to the end for reading! -- 14c