FIC: Fragments Of Lines Written On The Bathroom Walls In Ten Different Fandoms
Title: Fragments Of Lines Written On The Bathroom Walls In Ten Different Fandoms
Author: Amy (alexia@innergeekdom.net)
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate Atlantis, Roswell, Lost, Angel, and Alias
Spoilers: Eh, I have no idea.
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Summary: ...Um. The title. Read the damn title.
1,000 words (100 each)
01. Seattle Grace Staff Bathroom
Meredith Grey slept with Dr. Shepherd.
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seriously!
I didn't know she was into girls.
No, the other Dr. Shepherd.
The neurosurgeon.
Dr. McDreamy.
Didn't everyone know that already?
I heard she did it again!
You all realize I use this bathroom too, right? --Meredith
Seconded. --The OTHER Dr. Shepherd
This is why we don't eat in the cafeteria.
Preston Burke has the dreamiest eyes!
Look at them again and I will break your face.
ALEX KAREV HAS THE SYPH.
Meredith, if you read this, tell George to pick up more tampons on his way home
02. Neptune High Girls' Room
My bracelet is missing! If anyone finds it, bring it to locker #716.
Hot Wall: Aaron or Logan Echolls???
LOGAN -11111 1111
AARON - 11111 111
Veronica Mars, did you vote yet?
Does anyone have a study guide for Dr. Wu's physics final???
Didn't Eli Navarro get expelled yet?
Who cares? He's SO HOT.
.dog was star.
Hey, Veronica, here's a clue: get the hell out of Neptune.
Hey, Madison, here's another: bite me.
Hey, both of you- some of us are trying to pee in here.
LILLY KANE LIVES!
Dick Casablancas is a dick!!!!!
...That one's just too easy.
03. Battlestar Galactica
For a good time, see KAT
[words scratched out]
That's not my real address, bitch!
...You all know where to find me if you really want a good time.
--a MILF.
She's not a mother.
Fine, a president I'd like to fr--
FG [heart]s GB!!!
--Cylon betting pool now contains over a dozen pieces of fresh fruit.
Questions? See--
The next person to write KT [heart]s LA is getting punched in the face.
Seconded.
Starbuck and Apollo, sitting in a viper, F-R-A-K-I-N-G
We mean it, Helo.
Toaster-frakker.
You're a toaster-frakker.
Your mom's a toaster-frakker.
Helo's a toaster-frakker.
Hey!
04. Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry (Gryffindor, Second Floor)
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry
Go crazy?
Yeah.
05. Watcher's Council Headquarters, Rome, third floor
[three of the four symbols necessary to raise Rokhart, the Demon of Kick-Ass Music]
No more raising Rokhart if we're not having a party. I mean it, this time!
Faith is a slut!!!
Faith, stop writing that.
Buffy [heart]s Angel Scott Angel Faith Angel Parker Riley Spike Angel Spike The Immortal therapy
Very funny, Dawn. You're SO grounded.
Willow Rosenberg has a nice ass!
Girls, if there is any more graffiti in this very expensive to paint bathroom, I am taking away privileges. -Giles
Even if you have superpowers, if you take my last Twinkie, I WILL END YOU. -Xander
06. Atlantis
Laura Cadman is only attractive in certain kinds of light!
Laura Cadman blew up the wrong solar system by mistake!
Isn't Ronon DREAMY?
He's nothing compared to Sheppard. He made the Ancient microscope work!
Oh, but Ronon's ARMS. I bet he could bend steel.
Sheppard has the hair, though. The HAIR.
Imagine Sheppard and Ronon together!
Yeah.
Yeah.
You microbiologists are all far too easily swayed by simple physical attractiveness. I bet you all have incredibly unsatisfying sex lives.
Jealous?
...Laura Cadman only got a 1450 on her SATs!
McKay, everyone recognizes your handwriting. At least vary your insults. -Cadman
07. Roswell High Boys' Room
Kyle Valenti + Liz Parker Forever
I did not write that. Dad, if you're checking the school for vandalism again, I did not write that. I remember the lecture last time. I would not commit vandalism again.
...I mean, except this.
Crashdown burgers are out of this world!
For a good time, call Tess Harding. 1-800-NAS-EDO
Eraser Room. Tuesday. 2 PM. Reserved. KEEP OUT.
Isabel Evans is SO HOT.
Don't talk about my incredibly hot sister that way!
A bathroom in Roswell, New Mexico, and we have no aliens. Just this crap.
Life is so unfair.
Seriously, Maxwell. I'm appalled.
08. a tree half a mile from the beach
You crap and you bury it. HOW HARD IS THAT, PEOPLE? There's a hole right there!
[arrow]
Hey, Sawyer, nickname THIS.
[anatomically correct drawing]
ISLAND SHOPPING LIST
Fish
Coconuts
Fruit
Indigenous island life
Polar bear meat?
Shut up.
FRESH BABY!!!
NOT FUNNY. -Claire
Walk that damn dog farther away from the fucking camp!
Thx.
Tell me gossip!!!
I heard Jack's fucking Kate.
I heard Kate's fucking Sawyer.
I heard Sawyer's fucking Jack.
I heard Sawyers' not even his real name.
I heard Locke-
[at this point in the dialogue, a knife was found lodged in the tree, preventing further readings]
09. Angel Investigations, Right Off the Lobby
Real detective agencies have anonymous graffiti. Get to it, guys! -C
Graffiti is tacky and sullies our good name.
Not what I mean, Wes.
We have a good name?
CORDY HAS A GREAT RACK! (See, THAT'S how you do graffiti.)
Thanks, Gunn!
trustno1
[accompanied by stick figures]
See Angel
See Angel cry.
Cry, Angel, cry!
See Angel
See Angel Drink
Mmm, blood, yummy!
See Angel
See Angel sing
Sing, Angelcakes, sing!
See Angel
See Angel fight crime
Fight the good fight, Angel!
[a drawing of Buffy, sleeping]
Wow, creepy.
This is what you do with your hands while you pee?
10. APO
Sydney, I read somewhere that, while breastfeeding, it's helpful to expose the child to visual stimuli, so I put some up here in case you needed some help!
[here there are 47 lines of complex equations, omitted for the sake of brevity.]
Thanks, Marshall. -Syd
Irina Derevko is dead! alive! dead! alive! dead! alive!
For good?
For AWESOME.
Does anyone know what's the Rambaldi symbol for "screaming orgasm" is?
You all realize that the graffiti isn't anonymous when the entire building is monitored, correct?
You are all terrible spies.
Signed, Jack Bristow, not stupid enough to get caught by mistake
Author: Amy (alexia@innergeekdom.net)
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate Atlantis, Roswell, Lost, Angel, and Alias
Spoilers: Eh, I have no idea.
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Summary: ...Um. The title. Read the damn title.
1,000 words (100 each)
01. Seattle Grace Staff Bathroom
Meredith Grey slept with Dr. Shepherd.
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seriously!
I didn't know she was into girls.
No, the other Dr. Shepherd.
The neurosurgeon.
Dr. McDreamy.
Didn't everyone know that already?
I heard she did it again!
You all realize I use this bathroom too, right? --Meredith
Seconded. --The OTHER Dr. Shepherd
This is why we don't eat in the cafeteria.
Preston Burke has the dreamiest eyes!
Look at them again and I will break your face.
ALEX KAREV HAS THE SYPH.
Meredith, if you read this, tell George to pick up more tampons on his way home
02. Neptune High Girls' Room
My bracelet is missing! If anyone finds it, bring it to locker #716.
Hot Wall: Aaron or Logan Echolls???
LOGAN -11111 1111
AARON - 11111 111
Veronica Mars, did you vote yet?
Does anyone have a study guide for Dr. Wu's physics final???
Didn't Eli Navarro get expelled yet?
Who cares? He's SO HOT.
.dog was star.
Hey, Veronica, here's a clue: get the hell out of Neptune.
Hey, Madison, here's another: bite me.
Hey, both of you- some of us are trying to pee in here.
LILLY KANE LIVES!
Dick Casablancas is a dick!!!!!
...That one's just too easy.
03. Battlestar Galactica
For a good time, see KAT
[words scratched out]
That's not my real address, bitch!
...You all know where to find me if you really want a good time.
--a MILF.
She's not a mother.
Fine, a president I'd like to fr--
FG [heart]s GB!!!
--Cylon betting pool now contains over a dozen pieces of fresh fruit.
Questions? See--
The next person to write KT [heart]s LA is getting punched in the face.
Seconded.
Starbuck and Apollo, sitting in a viper, F-R-A-K-I-N-G
We mean it, Helo.
Toaster-frakker.
You're a toaster-frakker.
Your mom's a toaster-frakker.
Helo's a toaster-frakker.
Hey!
04. Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry (Gryffindor, Second Floor)
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry go crazy.
All war and no Quidditch make Harry
Go crazy?
Yeah.
05. Watcher's Council Headquarters, Rome, third floor
[three of the four symbols necessary to raise Rokhart, the Demon of Kick-Ass Music]
No more raising Rokhart if we're not having a party. I mean it, this time!
Faith is a slut!!!
Faith, stop writing that.
Buffy [heart]s Angel Scott Angel Faith Angel Parker Riley Spike Angel Spike The Immortal therapy
Very funny, Dawn. You're SO grounded.
Willow Rosenberg has a nice ass!
Girls, if there is any more graffiti in this very expensive to paint bathroom, I am taking away privileges. -Giles
Even if you have superpowers, if you take my last Twinkie, I WILL END YOU. -Xander
06. Atlantis
Laura Cadman is only attractive in certain kinds of light!
Laura Cadman blew up the wrong solar system by mistake!
Isn't Ronon DREAMY?
He's nothing compared to Sheppard. He made the Ancient microscope work!
Oh, but Ronon's ARMS. I bet he could bend steel.
Sheppard has the hair, though. The HAIR.
Imagine Sheppard and Ronon together!
Yeah.
Yeah.
You microbiologists are all far too easily swayed by simple physical attractiveness. I bet you all have incredibly unsatisfying sex lives.
Jealous?
...Laura Cadman only got a 1450 on her SATs!
McKay, everyone recognizes your handwriting. At least vary your insults. -Cadman
07. Roswell High Boys' Room
Kyle Valenti + Liz Parker Forever
I did not write that. Dad, if you're checking the school for vandalism again, I did not write that. I remember the lecture last time. I would not commit vandalism again.
...I mean, except this.
Crashdown burgers are out of this world!
For a good time, call Tess Harding. 1-800-NAS-EDO
Eraser Room. Tuesday. 2 PM. Reserved. KEEP OUT.
Isabel Evans is SO HOT.
Don't talk about my incredibly hot sister that way!
A bathroom in Roswell, New Mexico, and we have no aliens. Just this crap.
Life is so unfair.
Seriously, Maxwell. I'm appalled.
08. a tree half a mile from the beach
You crap and you bury it. HOW HARD IS THAT, PEOPLE? There's a hole right there!
[arrow]
Hey, Sawyer, nickname THIS.
[anatomically correct drawing]
ISLAND SHOPPING LIST
Fish
Coconuts
Fruit
Indigenous island life
Polar bear meat?
Shut up.
FRESH BABY!!!
NOT FUNNY. -Claire
Walk that damn dog farther away from the fucking camp!
Thx.
Tell me gossip!!!
I heard Jack's fucking Kate.
I heard Kate's fucking Sawyer.
I heard Sawyer's fucking Jack.
I heard Sawyers' not even his real name.
I heard Locke-
[at this point in the dialogue, a knife was found lodged in the tree, preventing further readings]
09. Angel Investigations, Right Off the Lobby
Real detective agencies have anonymous graffiti. Get to it, guys! -C
Graffiti is tacky and sullies our good name.
Not what I mean, Wes.
We have a good name?
CORDY HAS A GREAT RACK! (See, THAT'S how you do graffiti.)
Thanks, Gunn!
trustno1
[accompanied by stick figures]
See Angel
See Angel cry.
Cry, Angel, cry!
See Angel
See Angel Drink
Mmm, blood, yummy!
See Angel
See Angel sing
Sing, Angelcakes, sing!
See Angel
See Angel fight crime
Fight the good fight, Angel!
[a drawing of Buffy, sleeping]
Wow, creepy.
This is what you do with your hands while you pee?
10. APO
Sydney, I read somewhere that, while breastfeeding, it's helpful to expose the child to visual stimuli, so I put some up here in case you needed some help!
[here there are 47 lines of complex equations, omitted for the sake of brevity.]
Thanks, Marshall. -Syd
Irina Derevko is dead! alive! dead! alive! dead! alive!
For good?
For AWESOME.
Does anyone know what's the Rambaldi symbol for "screaming orgasm" is?
You all realize that the graffiti isn't anonymous when the entire building is monitored, correct?
You are all terrible spies.
Signed, Jack Bristow, not stupid enough to get caught by mistake