On being a prideful square peg
One of the big decisions I have to make this year is if I am going to pursue qualification as an actual lawyer.
To recap, in these isles, you have to do a 2 year apprenticeship (called a training contract) with a law firm who at the end registers you as a qualified lawyer. No training contract, no qualification.
Step back another step and realise ( Read more... )
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The visa thing would be the big concern for me -- I'd be inclined to hold off until that is settled, but that is because having to leave in the middle of the process would be worse (to me) than lingering questions of whether or not I could have... I'd rather forgo an opportunity than be prevented from finishing it. But I don't know which is the bigger concern for you.
And remember, if you do stay longer, you can start it later -- if you are already a square peg... well, being 33 doesn't make you that much more square than being 31... and maybe even slightly less of one if your visa situation is set up for the duration.
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The problem with waiting until our visas are in hand to continue with the UK process is that by then my degree will be too stale and I'd have to start retaking classes. So that kind of sucks.
But your point about being more frustrated with not finishing is a big part of it. I start looking at what the next stage involves and it's just so. . .fraught with what look like crazy big obstacles. So I'm really tempted to give up now while I'm at a stopping place, so to speak, rather than just keep failing with the search
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If it's what you want, and your connections really, truly are enthusiastic about your qualifications supporting their firms/groups, then ask them to have that conversation with HR - just like your boss did when you had to spend an extended time in the US after your father passed away.
I'm glad your qualifications are favorably viewed by potential training contract firms - that's at least a good place to start.
I should be on Skype most (your) evenings, so feel free to ping me if you want to chat and vent/sort things through.
I would wish you luck - but you don't need it. I have a good feeling that things will proceed just right and work out well for you.
:)
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It's funny what you mention about the partners talking to HR - that's exactly what happened the last go round where I thought I had it in the bag. . .and then didn't. Basically, HR ignored the partners instructions and rejected me anyway. See here and here. Not. Fun.
Will definitely ping you later in the week. We need to have a catch up anyway, right?
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Money and prestige? Not so important as all of that; and you will have both, perhaps never in the quantities that your imagination suggests you might possibly have achieved if only you had pursued a different path... but that is ridiculousness.
It's the pride question that is the sticky part. The reluctance to admit failure. That, I identify with strongly. This is something that I have always struggled with: a need to prove my ability to ______. Coming to grips with the idea that I don't have to actually do it, just to prove that I can: That is, I think, an area where I have made some progress. I'm not there yet, but I'm firmly on the path. If it helps at all, please know that I think you could achieve success in either path, eventually ( ... )
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Yeah, that's about it really. I've always thought of myself as ambitious - achieving amazing things that make people go "ooh" and "aaah". I feel like I've already *settled* for so much in my professional life that giving this up too hurts. There was the whole international trade/international relations thing, which didn't really work out. And then there's that language that I love that I never get to use. And the whole working in the public sector/charity thing that was a total non-starter. . . I feel like I've already *settled* for so much in my professional life that giving this up too hurts.
But at the same time, I don't want to pour a ton of energy into this if it is patently NOT.GOING.TO.WORK. Better to cut my losses and focus my time and energy elsewhere.
And there's another part of me that feels a real compulsion to keep up with raayat on the career progression and salary front. I really hate being the weak link and while we both make darn good salaries, it hurts the ole ( ... )
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As to the rest: This starts to sound familiar to me, at least in pattern. The struggle -- and this is tough -- is that you can get really, really trapped in thinking about all that I am losing by not pursuing _______ path. It's kind of a terrible trap to fall into, as you can conceivably continue indefinitely, always lamenting the road not taken, never allowing yourself to enjoy what you are achieving right now, in this place, in this moment.
As long as the focus is on what I might lose, you can make no progress. The thing, I think, is to celebrate what you can gain from the chosen path, what you are, in fact, going to achieve.
I guess I am loathe to advise on the path you should choose. All I know I want to say is that I feel that you will BE OKAY either way. It's just a matter of choosing, and committing full effort to the chosen path.
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But man this phase sucks
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Tricky. I have all sorts of thoughts boiling about in my head, but also breakfast waiting. WIll you be available ... no wait, it is almost eleven in the evening there. Yesterday. Being in Australia is WEIRD, yo.
Is there something keeping you from committing to advancement where you are while ALSO submitting training contracts? So that if a good one came up, you could go for it, while if not you'd be merrily on your way? Or is the effort required for the training too high to be able to do both?
Also, with applications, maybe dealing upfront with the fact that it is an unusual situation will help those poor HR people? Luckily, you aren't missing the standard qualifications, and trying to substitute in other experience, you just have a little extra experience.
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And yeah, all that other *stuff*. Bah, humbug!
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first - at 31 everyone is still at the bottom of the pile, perhaps they have some idea of what they actually want and a bit of experience (5 to 6 years max...which compared to 0 might seem like alot, but when compared to 25 or 30 really isn't much). SO really it is in no way too late to "start again" or to "change direction".
second - The visa is a BIG issue...Do you have a plan in place for if you are halfway through your training contract and the visa is not renewed?
third - if you don't qualify where you are right now, can you qualify somewhere else? (Maybe a former British colony that maintains strong ties and possesses a similar legal system? Can you take the bar in the US with the courses you've taken over there?)
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See, 31 is actually pretty far along in the UK. Remember kids get out of University here at 21 or 22 and then hop on the career ladder. So I'm really a decade behind everyone else applying for the same slots. I'm finding a lot of suspicion coming from HR people about why exactly I want to change paths, and why I didn't commit to this the first time around (cue discussion on how I didn't move to the UK until 2004 and where I come from Law isn't an option as an undergrad, but look at these really awesome degrees! Fantastic client facing experience! Good business sense! tap dance tap dance tap dance)
The thing about the visa is that if it doesn't get renewed I won't have even started the training contract yet - you apply for them 2 years in advance. So applying this year would be for a place in 2014.
And that's our big appeal for going to Hong Kong. They have a similar progression for legal qualification there, and I would have a really good story as to why I'm switching tracks now ( ... )
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