help me help your resume

[foxage]

I need a punchbowl column idea, stat. Any ideas? I'll credit you, and you can list "freelance humor consultant" in your resume. Anyone?

Our class held a secret ballot yesterday, and it turns out I'm giving the School of Nursing commencement speech. It's the only time in my life I'll ever be speaking on stage at the Kimmel Center, which is pretty

Comments

from ator and brian

[neon12_47am]

idea 1: there has been a lot of parent rage at children's sporting events recently (see: http://www.kare11.com/sports/sports_article.aspx?storyid=243632)

idea 2: write about why we should all shave our heads in solidarity with brittany spears to raise awareness of bat-shit crazy.

idea 3: thetoddtime.com

idea 4: manatees manatees manatees

idea 5: up-coming oscars

idea 6: tear panic! at the disco a new one in some ranty way

idea 7: a makeup letter to rachel ray or why bobby flay and rachel ray should never procreate (robby ray)

idea 8: jesus christ - pussy or just crucified real bad? (this is based off of a real remark someone made in my class one day)

idea 9: a letter from upenn security to the dean stating why they all need segways

idea 10: a letter to sufjan stevens requesting to write the next album on pennsylvania

or

something about the iphone, singing rabbits, or again manatees.