So I'm having one of those super-bad, please remind me why I shouldn't just end it all. Please. PLEASE. I think Castiel is the only reason I'm not dead right at the moment
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Just passing by but I have to say your friends and family would be devastated. There is no "getting over" the death of a loved one. If things are that bad, please call someone--a hotline, a friend, whoever. Don't give up.
However, I am sure my brother would get over my death. He has coped so much better than me since our mum's suicide (1998). And has a serious gf. I think I would love to inflict that pain on to my father. And the rest of the family? Well, is a large family. They would be able to get past it.
I am clinging to the fact that I do not know who would care for Cas, my bearded dragon.
I bet you would be surprised how people would react. My brother died five years ago and he would be shocked at how it affected our immediate family. I have a cousin who has struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide, and she said that after his death, she made the decision that she wouldn't commit suicide because of how shattered all of us were. And if you've had trouble dealing with your mom's suicide, you know what the survivors have to deal with.
Live for yourself, if no one else. Live for all of the amazing things you can look forward to: travel, a great job, volunteer work, a partner, pets... The list goes on, and I believe things will get better. Hang in there.
CHOCOLATE. Winter sun on your skin. Hot showers and cold beer and helium balloons and baby animals and all your favourite colours and fuzzy blankets and dirty limericks and ridiculous, mindblowing orgasms and pasta shaped like dinosaurs and drawing with crayons and HUGS and diving into the ocean and that feeling of being able to take a big deep breath of clean air and scratching an itch and crunchy food and rollercoasters and SINGING REALLY LOUD and smiling at strangers and mismatched socks and BOOKS and shadow puppets and PIZZA and hot buttered toast and trampolines and cartoons and shitty soap operas and climbing trees and jalapenos and crossword puzzles and PORN. Also, I would bring you back and punch you in the face. Also, if you want to ramble at someone my number is 0404120456 at any time, chook. The world does not need a you-sized hole in it and neither do I. ♥
♥ I have written Chocolate, Books, Hot Showers and Baby Animals down on more Cards to post around my apartment. And I may just take you up on the phone call.
Sunshine. Pretty flowers. Rainbows (the kind found in nature, and the kind that celebrate the queer world). Music. Pretty boys. Pretty boys kissing. Pretty girls kissing. Each day is one step forward, even if it doesn't seem like it. That you are loved, cared about, even if some of us haven't ever seen you face-to-face and live around the world. YOU ARE LOVED, honey.
It is hard to feel loved, if no one's ever made you feel loved before. But hopefully you know you're cared for and would be missed. I wish I could give you a hug in person, honey, and have you over to watch television and hang out. *snuggles you*
You shouldn't end it all because there are a lot of people who care about you. They might not be in the same city as you but we are here! I'd miss you something terrible if you disappeared. *clings*
and can I just add: moonlight, baby animals (go here and squee, I do on a daily basis), music, books, good food, HUGS, purple hair, purple flowers, purple blankets with stars, Cas sitting on your shoulder.
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However, I am sure my brother would get over my death. He has coped so much better than me since our mum's suicide (1998). And has a serious gf. I think I would love to inflict that pain on to my father. And the rest of the family? Well, is a large family. They would be able to get past it.
I am clinging to the fact that I do not know who would care for Cas, my bearded dragon.
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Live for yourself, if no one else. Live for all of the amazing things you can look forward to: travel, a great job, volunteer work, a partner, pets... The list goes on, and I believe things will get better. Hang in there.
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I have written Chocolate, Books, Hot Showers and Baby Animals down on more Cards to post around my apartment.
And I may just take you up on the phone call.
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*hugs you tight*
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Thank you. It is hard to feel loved, though, if no-one has ever made you feel loved.
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and can I just add: moonlight, baby animals (go here and squee, I do on a daily basis), music, books, good food, HUGS, purple hair, purple flowers, purple blankets with stars, Cas sitting on your shoulder.
I LOVE YOU, OK?! *squishes*
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Purple blankets with stars, eh? I have some blue-with-stars, but no blankets that are PURPLE with stars. *wants*
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