A somewhat cumbersome way to calculate each action (or lack thereof) would be a cost-benefit analysis using made up dollar values and percentages. Draw a little decision tree and calculate each branch. The main problem of course is how to quantify a relationship or other intangibles. But rationally speaking, it seems like at least a more efficient way to maximize utility than to just wing it, or to just subscribe to an extremist philosophy.
I've actually done it before with some success. One example is when I had a choice between showing up pretty late to a party or paying for a taxi instead of a train. I had left my cell phone at home so I couldn't let people know. I took the train because I figured that although there was a substantial risk people might be offended, I could minimize the impact to my self-image by making up an entertaining story to explain my late entrance. I forget the values assigned, but anyway it worked.
The danger I see to that is that a lot of the effects are very dispersed and externalized. So even if I were to, say, fuck over someone that I have a reasonable amount of interaction with for personal gain, the fact that I am networked with that person means that the whole grapevine effect could screw me by damaging my standing to a slight degree amongst a large population. Such a thing is incredibly difficult to estimate, and probably too dangerous to experiment with
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Mixed systems is the way to go. I think that not only every person has a particular balance point they favor (between dualist and communist in this regard) but also when dealing with others that balance point must shift
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I've actually done it before with some success. One example is when I had a choice between showing up pretty late to a party or paying for a taxi instead of a train. I had left my cell phone at home so I couldn't let people know. I took the train because I figured that although there was a substantial risk people might be offended, I could minimize the impact to my self-image by making up an entertaining story to explain my late entrance. I forget the values assigned, but anyway it worked.
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